if anyone who still uses tumblr is interested, i made a new blog over at https://queer-cosmos.tumblr.com/
trying to get back into things. would be nice to see some familiar faces <3 or usernames. whatever
$LAYYYTER
Not today Justin
cherry valley forever

#extradirty
hello vonnie
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Misplaced Lens Cap
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
NASA

blake kathryn
Jules of Nature

izzy's playlists!

shark vs the universe
d e v o n
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

titsay
One Nice Bug Per Day
Today's Document
RMH

@theartofmadeline

seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
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seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
seen from Bangladesh

seen from France

seen from Peru

seen from Peru
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
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seen from United States
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@i-feel-electric
if anyone who still uses tumblr is interested, i made a new blog over at https://queer-cosmos.tumblr.com/
trying to get back into things. would be nice to see some familiar faces <3 or usernames. whatever

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it's Aquarius season! Sam! 💕 happy birthday ✨✨✨!!!!! here's hoping that the day is as special as you are and that you find infinite reasons to smile!!
sorry for the late response, anon, but thank you so very much (●´□`)♡ i don’t know if i achieved infinite lol, but your sweetness made me smile plenty ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
a goodbye, of sorts
hello friends new and old :)
posting this in conjunction with my final gtop fic (multi-chap). just wanted to go into detail about a few things...
i’m sure most, if not all, of you know by now that i haven’t been an active participant in kpop fandom for several years. a lot of that had to do with depression. then my mom got sick and passed away. then i realized i didn’t really know how to interact with fandom anymore, since my interests had started to diverge down different paths. not to mention all the groups i’d loved from the beginning had disbanded or moved on. and then there were all the scandals and the enlistments. my enthusiasm had waned considerably and honestly, i just found it really hard to get invested in shit again.
i still listen to some of the music. i still pay attention to some of the groups, but for all intents and purposes, this is my farewell to kpop and my farewell to writing gtop fic.
so, i’d like to take a moment to thank all of those who were readers or friends or somewhere in between. anyone who supported me, silently or otherwise. i am so insanely grateful for what you gave me over the years and nothing will ever take away how amazing it was to be a part of this community. yes, there was drama lol. but there was also a lot of love and a lot of hilarity and all of it meant so much to me at a time when i needed it most. hell, my closest friends now are exclusively kpop family. fabulous ladies i will probably know and adore for the rest of my damn life. that shit doesn’t happen every day. so yeah, this weird (not so) little universe (thx bts) changed my own world for the better in countless ways and i’ll never ever forget it.
i hope, whenever it happens, that some of you might still be around when i do eventually end up publishing something original. i can’t say when. some people take a decade to write a book. however i’m still fighting the good fight (against my brain) to get there. and i will. one day.
don’t feel like i really have to apologize for all the WIPs that will never be finished, because that’s just how it goes. but i hope some of you can still enjoy them as they are. the one and only fic i will come back to work on is -this must be the place-, my collab with el/ricebowling.
in the meantime, if any of you are interested in anime or video games (namely bleach, persona 5, and final fantasy xv), that’s pretty much where my current fanfic efforts are gonna be going for the foreseeable future.
either way, you can find me on twitter @queercosmos or on ao3 at the same name.
it truly was a hell of a ride, friends. thank you, thank you, thank you eternally for everything. all these words will never be enough.
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ 乂❤‿❤乂 ٩(♡ε♡ )۶ ୧༼✿ ͡◕ д ◕͡ ༽୨ ♡〜٩(^▿^)۶〜♡ (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤ (ノ´ヮ´)ノ*:・゚✧
Hi Sam! I've recently re-read you gtop fics and just thought I'd pop in to say that I hope you're doing well, and to let you know that your writing is still moving me, inspiring me and uplifting me to this very day. Your stories are absolutely wonderful and I could never thank you enough for sharing them with us. All the best to you, I hope you find the inspiration to write again someday.
aaahhh anon wishing all the best to you as well thank you for taking the time to stop by and say that ;A;
What was the last thing you wrote about? Hope you’re doing well in CR!
i think it was probably the persona 5 fic i started a while ago. i’ve also attempted to get back into some of my gtop wips, but motivation and productivity have not been my friends for a long time, so writing in general has been a struggle :\
thank you, though. can’t say things are amazing, but that’s life. hope you’re doing well wherever you are, anon <3

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how would you describe your sense of humor? what are your favorite books, movies, genres? who are your fave artists, singers, creators? where do you draw inspiration from?
hello, anon :) these are quite the questions, lol. we might be here for a while.
1. i would describe my sense of humor as 1 part dry sarcasm, 1 part immature 12 year old boy who still laughs at fart noises, and 1 part dad jokes
2. books. i’m actually kind of embarrassed to admit that i don’t really read them much anymore. most of what i read these days is fic, but i still have books and authors that i love. tolkien, gaiman, david levithan, cormac mccarthy, murakami, francesca lia block, lev grossman, douglas adams. not very well-versed in female writers, so if anyone’s got recs, i’d be happy to receive them.
3. movies. you probably don’t realize what you’re getting yourself into by asking me this lol. though, to be fair, i’ve stopped watching/paying attention to a majority of the film industry because it doesn’t excite me anymore. so, my list is composed of primarily older films, in no particular order: labyrinth, the dark crystal, the fifth element, in the mood for love, the adventures of priscilla queen of the desert, rocky horror picture show, the princess bride, pulp fiction, city of lost children, kontroll, a single man, empire records, heathers, les chansons d’amour, les enfants du paradis, like...every musical ever, most marvel movies, blade runner, oldboy, gone in 60 seconds, the dreamers, weekend (the gay one, obviously), gattaca, eastern promises, pan’s labyrinth, the big lebowski, the fall, stranger than fiction, jeaux d’enfants, everything jim jarmusch has ever made. i could go on, but i’ll leave it there.
i also watch a shit ton of anime, but that’s another rabbit hole for another time.
4. genres. if it’s sci-fi or fantasy, i’m usually already on board. except that most of the time it ends up being disappointing (at least in regards to film and television). these days, anything that isn’t heteronormative garbage, i guess. except that i kind of also love stuff like dumb action movies because i don’t have to use my brain. the classics will always be my faves, but all of these stories have already been told and the vast majority of everything that’s been coming out the last however many years is either boring or half-assed or a remake of something that did it better the first time.
5. artists. i feel like you’re calling me out with these things lmao. i honestly could not sit here and tell you which artists i used to love. not that i don’t still interact with art or appreciate it, it’s just different now. i like reading webcomics. the illustrators out there right now are killing it. highly rec this gorgeous little gem. line’s webtoon app is pretty much a goldmine. there’s something for everyone and you get to support independent artists just trying to do what they love. i also use pinterest a lot, to either keep track of art that i enjoy purely aesthetically or for story reference/inspiration.
6. singers/musicians. again, a deep dark rabbit hole lol. i’m gonna be pretty general here bc this is getting kind of long (sorry). i still listen to a lot of kpop and k-indie stuff, but i’ve rediscovered my love for the japanese music scene, so i’ve been hardcore into that lately. (if anyone wants recs, hit me up). otherwise it’s pretty random. i like most genres. i listen to a lot of osts, usually from video games. also, i have ella fitzgerald’s face tattooed on my arm if that tells you anything.
7. creators. lately it’s been anime and video games, tbh. i’ve found that the way i want to engage with content is more immersive and less passive these days, so video games are kind of hitting that sweet spot for me because it’s such a unique way of storytelling. and the narratives being told in anime have always resonated with me. the depth and complexity of the characters and the worlds they live in, not to mention the visual stimulation of diverse art styles. the way animation, of all kinds, can utilize composition and movement just really does it for me. doesn’t hurt that a lot of it is pretty gay, so. there’s that.
8. inspiration. i draw inspiration from everything. sometimes all it takes is seeing something in my daily life, just a small otherwise insignificant detail, and an idea forms and grows all on its own. i think a lot of my ideas stem from the things i find aesthetically appealing. music videos, an illustration, clothing, environment design, photographs of all types. it’s usually visual. but i also find inspiration in music and the narratives other people create. mostly because, as far as mainstream content is concerned, i want to create the versions of things that don’t currently exist the way i wish they did. it’s why we fanfic, you know? and not even just for the queer/poc representation. i feel like a majority of mainstream tv/film/whatever just really misses the mark.
probably wrote way more than you were anticipating lol, but there it is. thanks for the ask :) hope it was what you were looking for. if there’s anything i wasn’t specific enough about, just let me know.
you definitely give off aquarius energy. think it’s reflected in your stories, honest. do you identify more with capricorn or aquarius?
identify with aquarius 200%. but i can’t deny that there are elements of capricorn that i embody, too. i think they make for an interesting combination, in that aspects of my personality work against each other lol.
are you into astrology? mind sharing your sign? (:
i kind of dip my toes into the astrology pool now and again. but i’m a cusp baby, aquarius/capricorn :)
ah i could talk to you forever tho you know all sorts of things and there is such a beautiful rhythm in everything you say.... i understand hang in there i hope you will see brighter, happier days soon. and remember that your worth isn't measured by your productivity. pls take care sam <3
ahhh sweet anon, you made me cry. in the good way, i promise. thank you ;~; it means a lot to hear these things. you’re very right, my worth isn’t measured by my productivity, and that’s surprisingly easy to forget. i forget most days. so thank you, again, for reminding me <3<3<3<3
hi sam. how are you love?
hello anon :) i don’t really know how to answer that question, because i am many things. mostly not great things, but also some good things and some okay things. not happy, not sad. just dealing with life, as per usual.
ngl i’m surprised anyone even thinks to talk to me on here anymore lol. thank you for asking, though <3 i hope you’re doing well

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hi, i've been rereading your gtop fics recently and i was wondering, when did you start writing? how often do you write? and is there a reason you prefer AUs (for your fics)? **ps- your writing is beautiful and special, and in the least creepy way possible, i can't stress enough how thankful i am that you exist and that you write. and that this fandom got lucky enough to have you. thank you for your art and the life you breathe into others through it <3
wow. my heart actually hurts a little bit, thank you ;;
to answer your questions, i’ve been writing for pretty much my whole life. it didn’t really gel for me as something i felt i was good at until i went to film school in 2008-2011 and took some screenwriting classes. i have an amazing professor to thank for showing me what i was capable of and giving me the confidence to pursue it on my own. to this day, it’s the only creative endeavor i’ve ever been able to stick with without structure or deadlines from anyone except myself.
sadly, i have not been writing much at all for quite some time. there are reasons for that. one being mental health issues, another being the fact that my mother passed away last year and i’ve been in a weird, nebulous, transitional place ever since. when i am writing and it’s good, i write every day for as long as my brain will let me. some days are better than others, as with all things. i miss it.
i prefer AUs because it felt intrusive to write canon. we already use these actual, real life people to create new narratives in any way we see fit. writing about their lives as they are, that i legitimately know nothing about, never worked for me. it wasn’t comfortable. i’d rather use who they present themselves as, as a jumping off point and create my own versions of them. i don’t know if that makes it more or less strange lol.
thank you for the questions :) and again for the very kind words. it really means a lot to me.
do you have any tattoos?
why yes, anon. i do indeed have tattoos. 17, to be exact. it would be difficult to explain all of them. but i have a lot of floral stuff, a killer portrait of my dearest ella fitzgerald, an alphonse mucha painting, some nerdy shit, and the most recent was a paper airplane made out of notebook paper that i got as a matching tattoo with a close friend who came to visit me. it was the first tattoo i’d gotten in 8 years :) because i’m too damn broke to afford what i want lol
so, i took a lot of screenshots during one of my playthroughs for uncharted: a thief’s end, because it’s fucking beautiful and cinematic and apparently also lends itself really well to pulp fiction novel covers.
i don’t have any fancy editing software, and it could look better probably, but it was exceptionally entertaining and i have no regrets. there are worse ways to spend half a day.
“those without shadows”, “the dead and the deadly”, and “a halo for nobody” are actual pulp novel titles and i take no credit.
while i’m already at it, i was tagged by @mousiessisden for this. copy the last sentence you wrote then tag as many people as there are words in the sentence.
from one of the books i’m working on: “too small to house the flutter or the itch.”
definitely don’t know enough active writers to tag 9 people but @croatoan-the-line @miz-emily @ricebowls @tabiyong @asweetdepravity
Sam, I miss you. I follow you on your ig but I’m too afraid to talk to you but I’m glad to see you’re doing good.
hello, sweet anon. i wish you weren’t afraid to talk to me. i am an awkward, bumbling human being, just like everyone else. and i’m here if you ever change your mind.
i’m honored to be missed, though. i know i haven’t been on this thing in several decades, but life dealt me a shitty hand this year, and things are kind of weird. hope you understand.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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GET TO KNOW ME TAG
I got tagged by @queendenial indirectly, but i’m bored enough to actually do this, so....
Time Right Now: 3:54pm
Nicknames: samwise, @queendenial calls me samhyun. idk. sam-a-lama-ding-dong was a thing
Gender: female
Star Sign: aquarius/capricorn cusp
Height: 5′6″
Birthday: january 87
Favorite Solo Artist: ella fitzgerald
Favorite Bands: bts, big bang, day6, akmu, nell, a million other things
Songs Stuck In My Head: listening to music, so nada
Last Show I Watched: the late show with stephen colbert
When Did I Create My Blog: like....7 or 8 years ago?
What Do I Post: nothing at the moment >.> (but usually kpop and art and the trainwreck that is the internet)
Last Thing I Googled: uhhhhhhhhh, how to make almond meal
Do You Have Any Other Blogs: yeah, but i use them even less than this one, if that tells you anything
Do You Get Asks: i used to
Why Did You Choose Your URL: it was spray painted on an underpass in chicago. i saw it on my way home from work and thought it was ~cool
Following: 398
Followers: 506 (why)
Favorite Colors: dark jewel tones
Lucky Number: it was 3? i don’t put much stock in that stuff anymore
Average Hours Of Sleep: never enough
What Am I Wearing Right Now: comfy pants. everything else is irrelevant
How Many Blankets I Sleep With: like 4 or 5, but they’re all thin.
Dream Job: self-sustaining, self-published author
Dream Trip: going anywhere with @queendenial
Favorite Food: arroz con leche. arroz, la luz de mi vida y de mi boca
Nationality: american (expatriate)
Favorite Song Right Now: sophiya - therapy
also tagging @croatoan-the-line and @kiwijennie. and @mousiessisden annnnd istg i don’t know who’s even on here these days