JACKPOT !

        spamton  g.  spamton  ;      scamming  you  locally ,  para*  edition .                                      (  *  para  is  mun’s  writer  name .  )

“Yes, I’m considerin’ it. Do I look like the type who would lie straight to someone’s face?”

(🚂) - …If Hat Kid or Grooves were here, his ass would be beaten right now, but THANKFULLY they’re not.

“Just gimme a time n’ date, and I’ll be makin’ sure that I’ll be there to see how this works out! After all, somethin’ tells me we got more in common than I woulda guessed when I first saw ye…”

(🚂) - Old, tried to murder someone who’s considered a kid, has a rival who’s probably just minding their own business most of the time… Yeah, it’ll work.

thumbs  twiddle  and  knit  fingers  earnestly ,  pacified  spamton  now  sat  in  a  pool  of  his  own  legs .   what  was  to  be  said ?   in  one  sitting  a  man  just  admitted  to  wanting  to  be  friends ,  and  MAYBE  MORE !   if  this  wasn’t  the  biggest  shot  he’d  ever  taken ,  may  the  heavens  strike  him  down .

                       “  well  gee ,   that’s  rather  sweet  of  you ,  ducky .  ”

👀

(🚂) - One Time Only! OKAY, that got him to suddenly pause, non-visible eyes widening as it seemed like he was suddenly like a statue.

…Did he just accidentally score himself a date with somebody he barely knows. He just accidentally scored himself a date with somebody he barely knows.

(🚂) - If Grooves hears about this, he’s getting the knife.

“Welp, I never thought I’d get myself into a situation like this, but ya know what laddie? …I don’t think it’s such a bad idea meself.”

everything  stills ,  the  world  slows  and  there’s .  .  .  unnatural  comfort .   warmth ,  like  basking  in  the  glow  of  a  sun  sat  before  you  in  person .   spamton  blinks ,  shocked ,  as  breath  eerily  leaves  in  a  sigh  like  he  hasn’t  breathed  in  years ;   in  a  sense  of  oddness .           “  you .   .   .    i  mean ,  you’d .   .   .    give  me  a  chance ?  ”

such  soft  amber  light  like  the  heavens  he’s  only  dreamed  of .   gaze  falls ,  aglow  in  somber  altitude  like  he’s  wings  above  the  damned  darkness ,  free  for  the  first  time  in  years .       he  likes  this .

(🚂) - What was this guy freaking out over? Didn’t he just ask for a lunch da- … He didn’t ask for a lunch date. Son of a-

“PECK! I thought that was what you were tryin’ to get at, I didnae know you just meant a regular lunch between two friends!” 

(🚂) - He tried to keep his cool, but oops, the emotional slip just happened and now he’s unable to calm himself down.

“I mean we don’t have ta but I feel like I just roped myself into this- Let’s know each other a bit more first before we even think about it!”

awkward  laughing  and  chattering  teeth  flutter  out  from  guffawed  smaller ,  hands  shrugged  passively  to  try  and  docile  the  impetuous  other .   okay !   that’s  much  clearer ,  but  now  the  thought  is  actively  loose  in  his  head ,  this  is  torture !   blush  barely  alleviates  at  the  clarification ,  even  as  eyes  deviate  out  of  strain .                     “  I  MEAN  RN’T   [  BIG  HOT  DATES!!!  ]   HOW  PPL      INCH  RESTED     IN   [  DATING  101  ]   GET  2  KNO  EACH  OTHER ??????  ”

oogh ,  just  the  odd  thought  of  golden  feathers  flowing  against  the  gentle  breeze  as  is  leaves  spamton  a  little  winded .   warm  colors  contrasted  by  softer  blues  and  whites .  .  .    the  city  lights  on  their  schemes  suddenly  felt  a  little  less  cold  and  unforgiving .        at  least  for  spamton .

@hyprlnk serenading me right now with their beautiful voice 🥺🥺

y'know ,  it'd  be  one  thing  to  say  one  man's  trash  is  another  man's  treasure ,  but  when  some  random  kid  walks  up  and  shoehorns  the  side  of  the  dumpster  you're  digging  into  behind  a  citywalk ,  sometimes  a  man  holds  a  grudge .  tiny  heels  kick  around  as  puppet  scrambles  inside  before  the  thwack  of  lid  closes  on  his  rising  head ,  only  for  the  audible  miffed  grumbling  to  stir  up  as  eyes  glow  from  crack  and  nose  juts  out  into  the  light .

                “ WHAT'S ALL THIS KERFUFFLE ABOUT YA [ GOLDEN PAN - FRIED SCALLOPS ! ] ??? ” beady eyes watch visual aid , the sound of strained rubber echoing from within scavenger's hideaway . “ NAH , KID . ONLY [ $3.99 ] T - BONES AND FISH DECAY IN HERE . ”

don't mind the squeak of adjusting rubber .

(🚂) - ”Yea, it does feel nice!” He added on, looking over to Spamton with a large ‘grin’.  Can it even be considered a grin if he has no visible teeth? Eh, whatever. Point is that he’s currently smiling back at the salesman.

It seems like they both have more in common than he would of thought, so you know what? This is basically a steal! Or maybe to put it in those weird ‘cut outs’ Spamton does… Eh, a ‘50 percent off special’? Yeah, he’ll go with that for now.

“Lunch ya say? Haven’t been asked out to a meal in who knows how long. I’ll admit it, my love game ain’t exactly the most strong, and I haven’t really thought of going onto any kind of ‘datin’ scene’.”

(🚂) - …Nobody would be the same as his wife, anyways.

JAHXJDMWKCIFUHSBR — ?????????????

[ EXCUSE MOI ?¿ ] what .

did he hear that right ?

A DATE ?????

                “ [ BUDDY ! ] [ PAL ! ] [ BUCKO ! ] WHAT'D YA SAY ? HAHAHAHHEHAHAHEHA—– DID SOMEONE JUST [ EMPTY YOUR POCKETS ] ? WOWZA , SURE IS [ HACHI MAMA ! ] IN HERE ! ”

holy  cannolis  disguised  as  a  pasta  bake ,  that's  one  sharply - dressed  broad !  little  pin - cushion  tongue  juts  out  to  carve  across  anatomical  hand  just  to  mock  slicking  back  his  greasy  hair ,  brows  arched  ever - so  crookedly  as  he  cracks  a  wry  grin .  [ ALRIGHT  POWERPUFF ,  TIME  TO  WORK  THAT  [[ $29.99 ! ]]  CHARM —– ]

here he comes — he’s leaning down and resting his chin against the reader’s shoulder. congratulations, you now have melting ink all over you as a result.

just  another  day ,  another  nice  little  flip  of  newspaper  clippings .   he’s  sorting  through  coupons  and  any  “ get  one  free’s ”  he  can  tear  out .   well ,  that  is ,  until  a  giant  glob  of  INK  settles  on  fresh  print .   he’s  taken  by  surprise  and  that’s  before  realization  hits .   frightened  fury  spills  over  him  like  the  ink  demon’s  form  slowly  crawling  closer ,  hair  frizzing  up  like  crow’s  plume  being  ruffled ,  a  clear  sign  of  distress .            “  NO !   [ NO  NO  NO ! ]   NOT  TODAY ,  NOT  [ NOW ,  ONLY  $9.99 ] !  ”

grubby  puppet  mitts  move  to  pry  into  cheek  as  bendy  leans  in ,  the  shortstack  man  losing  his  conscientious  cool  as  personal  buddy  pours  himself  onto  him  like  a  lion  lounging  onto  a  zookeeper .   [ HELP ,  SOS !   I’M  [[  FALLEN  AND  I  CAN’T  GET  UP ! ]] !!!! ]

(🚂) - A family of about ten owls, an unknown amount of crows, 5 or 6 grand babies, and a kid with a hat. …Honestly he can probably sucker Spamton into going after Grooves next, because fuck that guy.

(🚂) - The Conductor held back a laugh as he saw Spamton successfully flip himself into the car, soon climbing into the unoccupied seat himself. Is this a good idea? Probably not. Will it be dangerous? Maybe. Will he do it? OF COURSE HE IS.

“So, how fast can this thing go? I already know good speeds, ye just gotta take a look at me Owl Express! Fastest train around!”

(🚂) - Other than the ones in the metro maybe, but don’t tell him.

look  at  this  joe ,  leaning  back  in  his  self - designed  boxcar  like  it’s  his  camaro .   hair  slicked  back ,  hand  runs  through  to  graze  stray  strands  that  stick  out  while  he  views  out  over  the  horizon .   nothing  but  ample  city  lights  and  long  stretches  of  train  tracks ,  a  dream  come  true .              “  PRETTY   [ FAST  AND  FURIOUS  7 ]   PAL !   JUST  TAKE  A  GANDER  AT  HOW   [ LONG  LEGS ]   THIS  SUCKER  GOES .  ”