He taught me what good music sound like. He taught me that the only proper way of drinking whiskey is to drink it straight, no ice, room temperature. He taught me that pie is always good idea and flannel goes with absolutely everything.
He taught me that no matter how hard it gets you just have to keep swinging. No matter what life throws at you, no matter how many times it hit you in the guts with grenade launcher you just pick yourself up, laugh it off and move on with a swag.
He taught me to say “I’m fine” with a smile and sound convincing by saying this even if you are dying a bit inside.
He taught me that even in the darkest and most despair moments of life I can find strength in me, I can find hope, something worth fighting for.
He taught me that I am a soldier and I don’t get to check out just because I got wounded in the battle. And hell... I did got wounded but thanks to him I am here.
He taught me to be strong, to be brave, to stand up for myself, to not to take bullshit from anyone.
He taught me to always keep my head held up high and my back straight, even if life is trying to crush me into million pieces.
When I was standing on my mothers grave, 6 months ago, watching how they are putting her ashes to the ground I was literally thinking about him and humming Carry on my wayward son. I was thinking “What would Dean Winchester do”
He taught me that family don’t always end with blood.
He taught how to survive.
He taught me to always keep fighting no matter the odds.
He taught me how to keep living, how to find strength to move on and enjoy the life.
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader, John Wick x reader, Ethan Hunt x reader
Warning: swearing
Word count: 5,514
Summary: What would you do when the past will start knocking at your door?
Author note: Sorry for the delay. I had real blast writing this chapter and I’m so excited for upcoming ones! Hope you’ll enjoy it. And thank you
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
Shadow from the past: Chapter 3
Where the hell are you? We’re at the club. Call me. message from Dean displayed on your phone right above the information about ten unanswered calls. It’s been a few hours now since you left your hotel room leaving only a note on a nightstand and he started to worry. “Looks like Ethan was right,” you thought to yourself trying at the same time suppress guilt and remorse which was rising up inside you. In any other situation you would answer a call from Dean in second, at his first try. You would be happy to hear his deep, husky voice on the other side, you would be smiling at the phone, assuring him that you safe and you’ll be back soon. But this time was not like any other.
The first time he called you were in the middle of a chess game with your past; you couldn’t pick up. The second time he called you were in the middle of enabling all the security in the safe house and making sure that no one will get in; you couldn’t pick up. The third time he called you were on the way to The Pawnbroker where you accessed another safety deposit box. You left your gold coins in the big brown suitcase and instead you took out spare clothes and two switchblades Microtech Ultratech UTX-70 OTF; you couldn’t pick up, you were too busy securing one coin secretly inside your bra. The fourth time he called you were shaking off the weird feeling caused by the one sentence uttered by a broker, “Happy hunting miss Y/L/N”; you couldn’t pick up either.
Fifth and sixth time he called you were changing your outfit buried deep inside your thoughts. Everything was happening way to fast. You wanted it to slow down, to pause, to give you time to think. But you knew it was just a fool’s wishes. You jumped on the train which won’t stop now so you had to act on your instinct not on your thoughts. “He was tracking me all this time…all this time he was keeping tabs on me. Why? What is his end game?” you were asking yourself in your head. These questions were bothering you, the fact that Ethan new everything was shocking yet at the same time you were feeling strangely calm. Like the image of him secretly looking after you was somehow calming to you. “After everything that happened, he was still looking after me. Or was it just another assignment from Brandt?”
Seventh, eighth, ninth and tenth time you didn’t even bother to look at the phone. You knew that even with all your skills and all your tricks and all your training you won’t be able to fool Dean this time. I’m on my way you typed shortly. You order a cab driver to take you to Skyfall club and you let yourself relax for a moment.
To your surprise you were not over-analyzing the last few hours like you tend to do. You were just sitting there in the back seat of the New York cab, calm, numb even. Streets were passing by, city lights were putting you in some kind of trance and all you could do is to trace with your eyes small raindrops running on the windows of the cab.
I can neither confirm nor deny detail of this operation without the Secretary approval the sentence was echoing loudly in your head, sentence which you were sure you will never hear again. God knows how many times you said it yourself and it surprised you how oddly natural was to say it again. The felling of the words on your lips was like a taste of candy from your childhood, sweet and sour, comforting and upsetting at the same time. Like some part of you was longing to that time of your past. You closed your eyes and you could feel another flashback coming your way. You could see Ethan’s hazel eyes and you could smell Code in the air like he was standing right in front of you. You gathered all your will to block it, you couldn’t bare another vision at the moment, there was no need for another visit in the past now when all you needed was to stay cool and composed. You were tired of these glimpses of memories, of Vienna, of London, of a motorcycle ride, of the feeling of blood on your hands, of a taste of the bourbon on your lips. You remembered all of it way too well, you didn’t need to feel it, to smell, to taste, to see it like you were there. Because that is what it always was. Every vision, every glimpse of a memory was like a short visit in a past accompanied by all the feelings, all the smells, all the emotions that you felt at that moment. You couldn’t allow yourself to be thrown off balance now when you were so close to your destination.
“Miss Y/L/N we’re here.” You heard like from far away. You thanked a driver, you got out of the cab, and you head back straight to the alley behind the building not even noticing that driver new your last name. You had a role to play in the scene which was coming next. Even if you knew that there was no hunting and there was no case only a bodies that most likely he left behind you had to be convincing. Now, you had to be a hunter.
***
“Where have you been!!?” Dean run up to you, anger and wariness mixed in his eyes “You forgot how to use your phone?!” he gave you a questioning look.
“I’m sorry Dean, I meet a friend which I haven’t seen for ages!” that was only a half-lie “you know us girls, we started talking about old times, I completely lost track of time.”
“And a sense of reality apparently. I called you like ten times!” anger was spiking in his green eyes, he wasn’t buying it.
“I know I know hun,” you decreased distance between him and you and placed both hands on his chest “don’t be mad on me” you smiled charmingly “c’mon…there is no point of arguing over such a silly things” you smiled again and kissed him slowly letting the pressure come off from his muscles to his hands and lips. He didn’t need any more encouragement, he placed one hand on your back and another on your cheek and returned the kiss prolonging it a bit.
“I was just worried about you” he said with his lips still on yours.
“I know” you whispered through the kiss. After all these years he was still making you week in your knees. “We should go inside and caught up with Sam” your lips were moving over his.
“Mhmm…you’re absolutely right” he said without breaking a kiss which with every second was becoming more and more passionate.
“Dean..”
“I know I know”
“Dean, stop!” you finally broke the kiss and laughed brightly “we got work to do remember?” you grabbed his hand and started dragging him into the building.
“Well I know better ways of spending a rainy night in New York city” he smirked.
“I can imagine” you smiled fondly on bare thought of some alone time with Dean “But sorry hun, work first, pleasures later” you said and open back door which was already cracked by Sam.
***
The inside of the club felt strange all quiet and dark with only you three inside. Place which was usually crowded with people and pulsing with lights and music felt oddly hunted. You spotted Sam in the corner of the main room swiping place with EMF meter right where he left his glass just a few hours ago. You felt the wave of tension coming in and the fact that you were surrounded by shadows and dark corners didn’t help to ease it. “Are you there? Are you watching me?” you started looking around, scouting shadows around you.
“There is nothing there” you heard Sam’s voice “I’ve checked that part already. What took you so long?”
“Apparently Y/N decided suddenly to be a typical woman and she lost track of time while catching up with an old friend” Dean replied with sarcasm.
“You guys, I know that maybe sometimes it does not look like it, but I still am a woman and sometimes I need a girlfriend to gossip with” you snapped back.
“Gossip you say…?” Dean was on the opposite side of the room, but you could hear sass in his voice “about what?”
“You of course! What else?! Women only talk about boys, clothes and makeup isn’t that right?”
“There is nothing here!” Sam interrupted with frustration ignoring your exchange like he always did “Absolutely nothing!”
“We should check again, maybe we’re missing something” you proposed.
“Honestly, I don’t see a point. While you two were making out outside I swiped place twice already. You know what I’ve found? Jack. There is absolutely nothing here, except small emf spikes caused by power lines. There is nothing in the newspapers, nothing in the history of the area and building was build six months ago. I don’t know you guys, it seems to me that maybe we were wrong” he seemed disappointed.
“What about the witness?” Dean reached behind the counter and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and three glasses “this is our last lead which we didn’t check” he poured three drinks and handed them over to you and Sam.
“Seriously Dean?” Sam gave his brother a judging look and refused a glass.
“What?! It’s not like someone will notice!”
“The girl who supposedly saw everything is our last lead” Sam continued “But I’m starting to think that maybe we just wanted to see a case where there was none, to begin with”
“Everything is pointing to the fact that indeed nothing had happened here” you took a sip of an amber liquid hoping to ease a tension rising inside of you. You couldn’t see anything suspicious but the feeling of cold spikes on your back was enough to make you feel nervous. Shadow had eyes and they were tracking your every move, every gesture, every word. Shadow was closing around you and you could feel his presence near. “Let’s check office upstairs” you suggested forcing yourself to stay in character.
“I already did that” Sam replied “Like I said, it took you a long time to get here” he added seeing your surprised face “but feel free to give it another look”
You downed the last sip of whiskey and run upstairs. In any other situation you would feel bad about the fact that Sam did most of the work just because you decided to fool around with Dean. In any other situation it most likely wouldn’t happen but you needed to take Dean’s mind of the fact that you’ve been gone all day. You needed to distract him. In any other situation if that would happen you would apologize to Sam but, it wasn’t any other situation. With a cold bump in your stomach, tighten throat and blood pulsing in your temples you closed the office door behind you. You had no intention of checking for any clues you just needed to be alone for a moment. Dark office room felt comforting, at that moment it was exactly what you needed. “He’s here…” you were almost sure. However, there was still doubt in you. For what is worth you made an agreement a long time ago and at that time it seemed the best decision you could take. You suppressed another wave of flashbacks “If he is really here what is he waiting for? Maybe I’m just imagining things. Why would he be here? That does not make any sense” you took two deep breaths trying to convince yourself and calm down a bit. You were walking on thin ice. You knew very well that you can fool Dean only for a short period of time. He knows you too well, he will figure out that something is wrong.
“Anything?” office door rapidly opened and you saw Dean who looked like he already had at least three drinks “well well, this is the cozy spot” he smiled adorably and looked at you with a shiny eyes “so where were we?” he smirked and pulled you closer to him.
“We should go” cold spikes on your back returned but you kept flirty smile “we don’t want to make Sammy angrier than he already is” you kissed him shortly to his disappointment, grabbed his hand and let him down to the main room.
You did one last swipe through the place, hid the glasses that you used and made sure that everything is in order before you secured the door behind you.
“You guys go ahead bring car, I’ll wait” you said stopping in mid-walk.
“It’s a middle of the night and it’s freezing” Dean looked at you suspiciously.
“I want to grab a smoke. Or maybe suddenly you don’t mind me smoking in the car” you smirked.
The only reply you got was Dean frowned faced as he ordered you to wait. You ignored it completely, a long time ago you decided to stop giving a crap and you made the decision that you going to stop smoking if he stops drinking. You both knew it will never going to happen so all you could do was to frown at each other and move on.
You lid up a cigarette and took deep long inhale realizing how desperately you needed it over the last few hours. Bad dreams were nothing comparing to constant flashbacks and ghosts of your past materializing in front of you. “Ethan…” the last person you thought you will ever see again. You had to be honest with yourself, the way you parted ways the last time you’ve worked together assured you that if you ever cross paths with him again it won’t end well for you. Back then you had your reason which definitely justified your actions, at least in your mind. Of course, there was no way that he knew them, you made sure of that, which begged a question: was he your friend, or enemy? He surely didn’t act like an enemy.
You took another deep draw of your cigarette and hang in your thoughts for a moment on those hazel eyes and snarky smile, there was something dangerously frantic about them. You knew it won’t be long before Ethan will reappear again which meant that next move had to be yours. Because knowing him everything could happen. For all is worth you might even receive a mysterious, self-destructing message in a day or two and that would be very inconvenient.
You watched Sam and Dean’s silhouette disappear around a corner, and you smiled lightly proud that you managed to play a part perfectly and that they are not suspecting anything. At least you were hoping to. It was important right now, to keep everything hidden from them. It was important to get them away from New York as soon as possible, away from you. You knew deep down that even if now everything was relatively calm the storm was coming and when it comes you definitely don’t want them around. That was the best option, for their own good, for their own safety. Because how could you explain to them all off it? How could you look into Dean’s eyes and tell him that yes, you lied to him for years? What’s more, they were important, they still had a job to do, people to save, and storm like any other force of nature, it can be unpredictable, you never know who might get lost or hurt or killed by deadly lighting.
You lid up the second cigarette, thick smoke was soothing your nerves relaxing your muscles with every inhale you were feeling calmer, spikes you felt couple minutes ago all but disappeared and you started doubting again if what you felt was real or maybe you were becoming paranoid. You looked around you, hoping that some movement in the shadow will clear the doubts but everything was quiet, still. “Calm before the storm” you thought to yourself with a small pinch in the heart.
That feeling you had in there, like someone was constantly tracking your movement, like someone’s eyes were pinpointed on you, that constant cold touch on your back, like he was there watching you from the shadows. “Where are you?”
Your eyes widened suddenly, and all your muscles tensed up again. Cold spikes return to your back and they were more intense than before. It felt like the blood in your veins froze up and your heart slowed down and skipped a bit or two. You wanted to turn around, but you didn’t have to, he was here…Sauvage … it was everywhere. More intense than ever before. It was enfolding all around you closing you in, seducing, intoxicating, luring. You closed your eyes, your hand frozen in the mid-way to your lips. Coldness got stronger and you knew that Shadow behind you was no longer a shadow, it had a face, deep-dark brown eyes, black hair and a name….
“John….” You whispered with your eyes still closed. You felt a feather-like touch on your arm almost undetectable over the clothes. Shivers went through your whole body and you leaned back just a little bit just to feel his chest beneath your shoulder. “John…. I knew you were here,” you said with a barely audible voice.
“You are in danger….” You heard his voice right next to your ear, deep, dark, thrilling making your heart stop for a moment. He moved your hair away from your neck and gently glossed over your bare skin which made your body shiver once more. “Ditch the tail. I’ll see you at Continental.”
“John….” You whispered again leaning closer.
“You shouldn’t come back….”
***
Calming waves were hitting the side of the boat when you took the one last look on the sun on the horizon. You couldn’t recall the last time when you felt so good, so peaceful, like all the problems and all the sorrows disappear completely. You wrapped shawl tighter and let the warm breeze gently touch your face and mess with your hair. You closed your eyes, relaxed you smiled at the felling of arms wrapping around you. You leaned back a bit and placed your head underneath his chin. He didn’t say a word, he didn’t have to, he only pulled you closer to him and smiled to himself. It felt good. You stood there together you with your eyes closed synchronizing your breath with his, he with a gentle look in his eyes and this feeling inside of him, like he was holding the world in his arm.
“You know what John?” you whispered with your eyes still closed.
“Hmm?”
“Sometimes life is good”
“Yes, it is” he said and with a soft kiss on your lips made sure that you will never forget that day.
***
“Can’t sleep?” Sam asked placing himself right next to you on the bench. You were sitting outside of the hotel, with steaming coffee cup in one hand and cigarette in the other. His question yanked you brutally from your memories. And reality wasn’t that pleasant especially cold morning sun which was hurting your eyes.
“What, the smell of my cigarette is so strong that it got to your room and woke you?” you attempted a sarcasm.
“I was planning to go jogging before you two wake up but seem that my plans had changed” he smiled lightly.
“Sammy, I don’t want to stand in between you and a healthy lifestyle! At least one of us needs to lead with an example.”
“What’s up with you lately?” he asked ignoring your sarcasm. Ignoring bullshit and pursuing as he planned it seemed like he mastered that skill to perfection.
“What do you mean?” you attempted the innocent smile, but you knew it was a poor attempt of mind games from your side, you were too tired.
“Ever since we arrived in New York you seem to be on edge, all the time. And if you aren’t on edge you zone out. Apparently, you can’t sleep to” he pointed at you with his opened hand “and you smoking like a chimney.”
Your only response was a snarky smile and rolled eyes which you used for covering the irritation raising inside you. You were so focused on Dean, on making sure that he won’t suspect anything that you almost forgot that Sam was observing everything from a distance, and he wasn’t so easy to fool. Especially since you could not use the power of flirt and charm on him.
“Don’t give me that look, you know I know this look. And I know this state,” he continued “I’ve seen it way too many times on Dean. Same snarky smile, rolled eyes and cool pose. The only difference is that you’re not reaching for a beer at 7am. Something is eating you up” he stated with confidence.
“I’m alright, really,” you interrupted his little tirade “you have nothing to worry about”
“Mhm…. I’ve seen this face before. Remember when we first met? You gave me exactly the same look when I’ve asked you if someone was chasing you. Exactly the same.”
“Sam, I appreciate you caring and all but really you have nothing to worry about. It’s just this city, it brings back memories. That’s all” you tried your best to sound convincing but with a corner of your eyes you could see clearly that he wasn’t buying it.
“You never told us anything about New York” he pointed out.
“There is nothing to talk about. It was a long time ago. In a different life.”
“Yet you still have friend here” his words rose a red flag in your head “I’m sorry for saying this but I ain’t buyin’ your little story about you spending your whole day with an old friend” you looked at him sharply perfectly aware of an angry look in your eyes “Dean maybe does, or he chooses to, but I don’t. So maybe you would like to tell me what is going on? And before you start with another ‘I don’t know what you mean’ believe me when I say it I know, I get it. Sometimes you just don’t feel like telling him something and I get it. God knows how many times I made some decisions and I decided not to tell him, or I did something behind his back. Because at that moment, in that situation that seemed to be the best decision that I could have made. And you know what? Every time it turned out to be a huge mistake. And I’m pretty sure if he would be here now, he would tell you exactly the same thing, because he also been there, he also went behind my back and consequences of these decisions were let’s say, pretty bad. So, whatever you doing I’m sure you have good reasons, but maybe if you don’t want to tell him, you could tell me.”
Uncomfortable silence fell between you two. You knew that there was truth in his words, and wisdom earned from experience, but you couldn’t tell him. You didn’t want to tell him. Even if you wanted to, what would you say? “Well within the last 72 hours I met my ex colleague/co-worker/it’s complicated government secret agent/spy and my ex-fiancé hitman/assassin and I have a bad feeling that some insanely bad shit is about to go down. So I’m kinda fucked and I don’t want to drag you two down with me because I love you, you my family and I wouldn’t forgive myself If anything would happen to you.” yeah, that doesn’t sound right. You took a quick puff of your cigarette reminding yourself quickly that the next move must be yours.
“Let’s pack our bags and leave” you said strongly “There is no case here anyway. Let’s go to Roadhouse. It will be good for all of us. We haven’t seen Ellen, Jo and Ash for such a long time”
“You want us to drop the case?” Sam looked at you suspiciously.
“Sam, there is no case” you looked him in the eyes trying to suggest him without saying that you know what you talking about “We’re here for four days and what did we found out? Nothing, zero, zilch, nada! We can get ready before Dean wakes up, and hit the road right after breakfast”
“First you were so eager to take this case and now you suddenly want to leave? Y/N what is going on?! Tell me!”
“Sam…” you sat down next to him “I need you to trust me. Can you do this?” that sounded more like a desperate plea than a question “I know I’m not making a lot of sense, but I need you to trust me.”
***
“I’ll pack the car and you wake up the sleeping beauty” he replied, “We’re leaving in an hour”.
***
Next day
You arrived at Roadhouse in the late evening of the next day. Somehow you managed to convince Dean that there is no point in staying in New York for any longer and that indeed there was no case. True, you helped yourself with a small lie about possible vamp nest near Tulsa but after some further reflection you came to the conclusion that it was not needed. The idea of visiting the Roadhouse was convincing enough.
Upon arrival Ellen and Jo greeted you with smiley faces, warm hugs and cold beer. It’s been a while since the last time you visited them, you didn’t even realize how much you missed each other. It took you only a few minutes to start talking about interesting hunts, types of monsters you encountered, in which moments lore had failed you and how you solved it, or how many times the monster turned out to be a psycho without a leash. You were laughing, smiling, drinking cold beer, the jukebox was playing Here I go again by Whitesnake, it was a good time.
“So vamps in Tulsa, tell us more” Dean suddenly jumped on the subject after finishing another beer “We’re coming back from a Rotten Apple without ghost trophy so we gonna take anything. I’m sure Y/N will not say no to some good old decapitation” he smirked to you.
You smiled back but with a corner of your eyes you noticed Ellen’s face dangerously shifting from happy to furious.
“Ash will fill you in with detail” she said shortly “Y/N come help me on the back, I have a barrel of great beer stored for special occasions.
“Woah, Ellen I can do it” Dean stood up ready to help.
“You my guest at my bar so behave like one.” She scolded him. There was some power in her presence, power of authority, the kind of you are not arguing with “Y/N come, I need to talk to you.”
You wanted to run, you wanted to run like hell. She reminded you of your mother, and by looking at age difference she could be your mother. You knew very well what was coming up next and you were not ready for this. Suddenly you felt like a teenager again, anxious, ready to rebel, ready to fight with your mom even if you knew that she was right. She closed the door to the basement behind you and turned to you with her arms folded on her chest and furious look in her eyes.
“Ellen…listen…” you stared but she was not up to listening to your explanation.
“No, you listen and listen to me well!” she interrupted “I don’t know what you got yourself into and frankly I don’t want to know! No, don’t tell me anything! I don’t want to have visitors in black suits at my doorstep tomorrow. You do you, I know I cannot stop you anyway. You are a grown woman and a skilled one too. But dragging those boys with you into this mess! No, that won’t happen! How could you even! First you lying to them for years and asking me to cover for you and now this!? I’ve got up to here of these secrets and I curse the day when Ash found out about your ‘other activities’. You were assuring me that this is a past, long gone. You were looking me straight into eyes and assuring me, saying that I can trust you. And now what?! Now you want to drag Sam and Dean with you into all of this?!! Now you…”
“No, Ellen stop!!” you interrupted. As much as you understood her anger and where was it coming from you were not a sheepish type and standing and listening wrongful slam was not your style “I’m not dragging them with me!!” she looked at you surprised “This is why I persuade them to come here in a first place!”
“This better be good”
“I need to come back, I need to disappear…” you started but upon seeing Ellen disapproval you decided to stop playing nice “You don’t get it so don’t you dare give me that look!! What Ash found is just the tip of the iceberg. Just a small small tip. And I don’t have any intention of explaining you everything else. Not because I don’t trust you, because I do, but because you’re my family and I don’t want to put you, Jo or anyone else in danger. I know you are skilled hunters, damn one of the best in the world but it does not change anything. This is simply above your paygrade. Yours, Jo’s, or Sam’s and Dean’s combined together. And it’s not because they are not skilled enough, or they are not good enough no it’s not that. You, them, you are hunters! You hunt monsters! You are not killers.”
“And you are?” she interrupted.
“My point is…” you continued ignoring her question in Sam’s style “I’m not dragging them with me. I’m asking you to delay them after my disappearance. And keep my secret to yourself. I know they will go after me. Or at least Dean will, there is no doubt in that. But I can disappear and even with his skills he will have a hard time picking up my trail. So am asking you, to delay him as long as possible and to never ever under any circumstances show him this file that Ash has on me. For his own good, for his own safety”
“What about you?” there was a care in her eyes, wariness which made your heart melt a little bit.
“I’ll be fine. I don’t have the same principals as they do. I know how to take care of myself” you replied with a cold voice. “I need to borrow your car. It will be returned to you, don’t ask how and by whom”
“You are leaving now?”
“Yes. I’m on the clock here, time is running out and sooner I will be away from y’all than better”
Out of nowhere she reached out to you and pulled you in the strong hug. You could feel that she was shaking a bit, like a mom who didn’t want to let her child go. She held you for a couple of moments until you pulled yourself away.
“Ellen, I need to go”
“I hope is not a goodbye”
“I don’t know” you replied shortly “I don’t know….”
***
You took one last look at the flickering lights of the Roadhouse. You could hear the Deans laugh, you could see Sam silhouette leaning over the bar and talking to Jo, you could hear Hot Blooded by Foreigner in the speakers, they all had a wonderful time.
In a couple of minutes Ellen will join them and she will destroy this party by selling them some lie about your disappearance. Dean will get pissed in a matter of seconds, Sam will get worried but he will do his best to stay calm. They will start asking questions, they will try to call you. But your phone will be dead. How long it will take them to realize that you are nowhere to be found? An hour? Maybe two? It doesn’t matter. By that time you will be long gone.
You turned on an engine of old Dodge pickup and you turned around one more time. “If you only knew how much I love you D. “ you felt a pinch in your heart while a single tear fell down your cheek. You heisted for a short moment but just when you were about to turn off an engine deep, dark voice sounded in your head You are in danger…
You took a deep breath, threw in a gear and disappeared into the night.
Author note: My intention was to write one shot which will tell a story of first meeting with Dean Winchester. I’m planning t continue “Shadow from the past” story and all one shots which i will publish are intended to serve as tie-in to the main story. I do hope you’ll like it ^^
I do not own the gifs or pictures, credits to the authors.
“Remember…if you open this door, if you let this in, you will never completely close this door again. Are you ready for this? If you start poking into shadows, they will gladly smile back at you. You may not like what you see but it will be too late”
***
Fall of 2011
“I’m telling you Katie! This book looks legit. Like scary kind of legit.” you felt anxiety and excitement running through your spine. You were hanging on the line with your best friend and at the same time you were staring at an old, beautifully embellished book. You were gently touching the spine and a front cover, teasing yourself but not opening it. The excitement was intoxicating, you wanted it to last.
“Where did you get it?” Katie asked suspicious.
“In the library”
“Last time I checked there was no occultic black magic books in the library,” she pointed sarcastically “c’mon don’t bullshit me”
“I’m telling you the truth! In the library…”
“But?”
“But not from library.” you finally admitted
“Speak! You know these things can be dangerous”
“Alright alright, don’t sweat it. I was in the library going through the catalog in search of something about the history of magic but as you know there is nothing valuable in there. And when decided to give up this guy came to me and offered me a book” you explained shortly. You knew very well it didn’t sound right. You knew that this guy, charming as it was, made you feel unsafe. There was something dangerous behind his smile, something mischievous but not in a good way.
“Some guy gave you a book and you took it?” Katie sounded even more suspicious.
“What! It’s not like he gave me drugs!” you defended yourself “I’m telling you, it seems legit” The book was lying on your legs inviting you with its burgundy gold cover.
“You are hiding something. I don’t know…it’s just” Katie started “before you do anything you need to show it to me. Let’s meet up!”
“Like now? You know I can’t. I’m grounded. I was late once to many times. Dad was so pissed at me. I can’t “you explained, “we’re gonna talk about it tomorrow at school alright?”
“Aright but don’t do anything I wouldn’t do” Katie was waiting for your confirmation. “Of course, I won’t. Promise” you said and hang up the phone.
“I won’t do anything you wouldn’t do because in my place you would do exactly the same” you said to yourself and opened the book.
…
Something happened. You couldn’t exactly say what. The temperature in your room dropped couple degrees, lights flickered once or twice but you didn’t notice anything. You were completely gone. Lost between lines and sketches. It was exciting, it felt like a drug, it felt like something forbidden, something you shouldn’t do but damn you wanted to.
Of course, it was forbidden, it was a grave sin. If your religious parents would know what you were reading about behind closed doors of your bedroom, they would raise a hell for you. For a split second you even thought about what God would think about you right now, how disappointed he would be, what sorrow you would bring by crossing this line. “I have to know my enemy, right?” you tried to justify your actions in front of yourself “it is just a research, nothing more.” You drown out what left from your conscious and you let yourself get lost completely in the pages on “European history of occult and magic”
The truth was that at this moment you didn’t care about your parents, God, damnation or anything else. All you cared is this mysterious book and what was written in there. You were drawn to it, you were drawn to magic, mystic occultic things since you remembered. You wanted to know more about it. You knew it was wrong but somehow it didn’t feel wrong. It felt good, empowering.
You always knew deep down you didn’t belong that there was something more out there and you desperately wanted to find out what lurks in the shadows.
“Maybe I am indeed a witch, like my grandmother” you smiled innocently to yourself “I just want to know. Knowledge is power”
In that moment you were happy, you were smiling widely while going through the pages. You didn’t know that you just opened the door which you will never close again. You didn’t know that at that moment your life changed irretrievably.
***
The next day
Avoiding your best friend turned out to be the hardest thing ever. You were almost inseparable but that day you’ve been maneuvering through school day trying to always have someone near to you so Katie couldn’t start asking about the book.
You knew that she was pissed, you knew that she knew very well what you were doing. You also knew that no matter how hard you tried to avoid the subject when school is over, she will corner you and there will be no way to escape for you.
“Alright you’ve been avoiding the subject for whole god damn day” she started once she made sure that there was no one around “but sorry, times up, game’s over, you lost! But as a consolation prize I’m buying a beer” she was sarcastic as always.
“C’mon I can’t! I promised I will be back home right after school” that actually wasn’t a lie.
“You’ll figure out the excuse. You can blame it all on me, tell auntie that you were helping me with chemistry or something. Let’s go! Let’s talk! I know you want to tell me everything” she smiled widely and made a puppy eyes. You knew each other since you were little children, you were like sisters and of course, you wanted to tell here everything. There was no other person who would understand you and no other person you wanted to tell everything about the last day.
***
It was a warm autumn afternoon you both loved weather like that. It was perfect for jeans, converse, a leather jacket and beer at the water pond near to the school. On your way there you were laughing, kicking fallen leaves and smoking cigarettes. If only your parents knew how far from good, god-fearing girl you were. You didn’t care, you were happy. It’s like every color got brighter, every touch of the wind got gentler and every sip of the beer tastier than ever. You were feeling like something was changing but was it changing for good you weren’t sure.
“So…?” Katie started “tell me everything!!” she was excited but worried also, you could see that clearly.
“I went to a library yesterday…as you already know. I really wanted to find something about magic, occult, witchcraft, anything really” you lit a cigarette “I was sitting there for hours really. I couldn’t find anything! Like anything. Every book was looking like a made-up bullshit from a mile away. And when I finally gave up this guy came to me…”
“What guy? Katie interrupted.
“I don’t know, normal, I guess. In his forties or fifties maybe…British. He was wearing a suit, he was charming and very polite” you shift in a place a bit. It wasn’t exactly like that, but you decided to skip the part about a mischievous smile and the fact that he made you anxious.
“Well that does not sound weird at all…” she snarked.
“He said that he was observing me for a while. He noticed what I was searching for and…” you stopped not sure exactly what to say next.
“…and what?”
“He said that he doesn’t want to scare me or anything but he sees my aura and that I have a true gift and a lot of potential and he thought that he could help me out because it is difficult to start to find the right path and that he knows people who could help me who could guide me show me the way so I would hurt myself,” you said all of that on one exhale. You knew how ridiculous it all sounded but you both believed in such things, you believed in Supernatural and you both seen and experienced enough to not question situations like that.
“And what did you say?” Katie was calm. She was always calm in nervous situations. You admired that about her, the way how composed she could be even if you knew that deep down, she was as anxious as you were.
“Not much honestly. I was kinda in shock. I mumbled something about how interested in witchcraft I am and how hard it is to find good literature. That’s it. He gave me a book as a good place to start and he said that if I want to, I can find him, and he will connect me to some people who could help me out.”
“You have it?”
“Nah I left it at home so my mom could find it” you snarked “of course I have it” you took the book out from your bag and gave it to Katie.
“Fuck…it looks legit” she started flipping the pages “uncle and auntie would kill you if they would find out”
“But they won’t. It’s not like you will tell them. I’m carrying it all the time with me”
“Just be careful alright? And I hope you're not planning to see that guy, aren’t you?” she handed you a book.
“Do I look suicidal to you? Of course not! Don’t be ridiculous!”
“Good good because I don’t want to see you get hurt. It sounds creepy at least”
“I know! And it was kinda creepy. But don’t worry I’ll be careful. And now let’s go, we’ve got a bus to catch and I really don’t want to piss off my dad again.
“One more thing…” Katie slowed down a bit “that guy, did he say anything else to you?”
…
“He said…” you hesitated for a moment, “He said that I should remember that if I open this door, if I let this in, I will never completely close this door again. That If I start poking into shadows, they will gladly response, but I may not like what I’ll see…. but it will be too late”
“Sounds like a smart guy…”
***
Something had changed and you knew it…
As soon as you and Katie parted ways you started feeling wrong. Every dark alley corner and every dark window seemed to look at you. You were walking home fast, faster than usual, keeping your head down, trying so hard not to look into windows or anything that could have a shadow or reflection. You were not fearful type but at this moment you were scared. You could feel someone eyes on your back, you could feel a presence following your every step even if every time when you turned back, there was no one there.
You were almost running at this point. Streets which you knew since you were a child seemed weird, darker, unwelcome, foreign. Corners were darker, trees were taller and scarier, and every streetlight was off. “Come on put yourself together! You’re imagining things. It’s just your imagination, it’s just your imagination…” you thought to yourself “You got spooked that’s all…just chill…”
You stopped in place….
There was no denying… you knew that what you saw was real. It was only a moment, but you will never forget that feeling and that empty, white, bit transparency face that you saw in the car windshield. It was twisted in a gruesome way like it was in pain. There was nobody, only face…floating in the air…behind you, in front of you? You weren’t sure. You wanted to move, you wanted to stop looking at it, but it felt hypnotizing, terrifying and hypnotizing at the same time. It seemed like it wanted to say something to you. It started too open what suppose to be a mouth when you lost it.
You started running, running as fast as you could. Just to be home, you going to be safe there. Faster. “Don’t look back….” Faster “…don’t look don’t look at the windows…” run “…got to get home…” through one street and another, faster as your life depended on it “..Fucking hell…” you looked into the window and you saw it again “…oh god what the fuck is happening….” you were running, running without looking, running home. Just to be home, just to be safe, just to…
….
Pain, horrible pain in your head and in your lower body.
….
“What the fuck…” blood was pumping in your head, ringing in your ears was unbearable.
You bumped into something. It felt like a wall. You were running so fast that impact made you fell hard on your ass without a bit of a grace.
“Shit…” you were disoriented, blood in your head was pumping like crazy and your lower body was hurting like hell.
“Oh my god, are you alright?” you felt someone gently grabbing your arm and helping you to get up. You realized it wasn’t a wall. Walls don’t talk and don’t smell nice. It was a man “freakishly tall man”.
“Yeah, I am. I’m so sorry” you weren’t alright. Blood in your head was pumping so loudly that you could barely think straight what’s more speak like a normal human being.
“You sure? You don’t look good. Were you running, was someone chasing you?” his voice was kind, gentle and full of care “you look terrified”
“I’m sorry I bumped into you. I’m alright” you forced yourself to open your eyes. Headache was unbearable, it felt like your head was about to explode. “I was just…” you intended to take a step, but your legs decided to give up on you. You stumbled but you didn’t fell, he was holding your arm. Forced you gently to lay on him a bit. Your legs were shaking, your breath was shallow and rapid, and the headache was crushing your skull. “Shit, I’m like fucking Bella from Twilight. Put yourself together!”
“Take it easy, you felt pretty bad”
“Yeah, sorry about that. It’s awkward” you attempted a smile. You wanted to look at the face of the wall that you bumped into but turned out that to do so you had to stand straight and look up. “Wow…you’re tall” you said without thinking “Damn! Sorry. Awkward. Again”
“No worries! Trust me I hear that often” he laughed “But I see your colors are coming back. You were pale like you saw a ghost” He was looking at you and you couldn’t help but look back. He had such a kind face. “Handsome as hell but so kind”. There was good and real interest in his eyes. And those eyes, there were smart eyes, very smart. Like he has seen a lot in his life. He was truly worried. It wasn’t just an act, something that social conventions make you do or say. It was real, he was real, something that you weren’t used to. The truth was that most of the people around you were well, fake as fuck.
“I was? Oh, that’s nothing, I’m always pale” you finally managed to stand straight “thank you and again sorry, I feel stupid” you indeed felt stupid.
“You sure you okay?” he was looking at you intensively “It seems to me like you were running away. I don’t mean to be noisy or anything but anything I can do?”
“He is so nice…” you felt so good at heart “It was my ex” I didn’t even blink “I know, stupid. But I truly hate his guts and I didn’t want him to see me”
“From the impact with which you bumped into me I assume that he is a douchebag,” he smiled kindly.
“Oh, trust me, douchebag doesn’t cover it,” you smiled back.
“You need a ride? I can give you a ride home,” he proposed. Kindness in his voice stroke you again.
“No thank you I live just behind a corner,” you replied quickly and suddenly you regretted your words “Holly shit!! Is that your car?!” how could you miss it before. Beautiful black Chevrolet sedan, very old school very classy “Damn…that’s a thing of beauty!”
You were smiling for real this time. All fears disappeared, the air around you got lighter again, windshields were not scary anymore. Definitely not windshields of this beautiful car. “Wow…she’s beautiful. What year is that?”
“Thanks, but it’s not mine. It’s my brother's. Impala ‘67” he replied with a smile.
“Now I regret that I live so close” you laughed, “she is so beautiful.”
“Yeah my brother is very proud of her.”
“I’m not surprised!” you gently touched a car and you realized that the situation becomes more and more awkward again “Sorry, it’s just it’s a damn beautiful car. But enough with the awkwardness. I’ll better get going.”
“You sure?” there was nothing wrong with his question. No hidden agenda, no subtext, he was just worried about random, scared girl who bumped into him and now is drooling all over his brother car.
“Positive!” you smiled genuinely “Listen…” you wanted to use his name, “crap, awkward again”
“Sam” he extended his hand.
“Sam…” you repeated with a smile “Nice to meet you Sam. I’m Y/N” you shook his hand and he replied with another genuine smile “I better get going. Again, I’m sorry for all…that. And thank you. Truly. I feel better now.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
You said your goodbyes and you promised him to watch out for very tall people. You took one last look at him and that gorgeous car. You couldn’t help but wonder what was his owner like? What did he look like? What was his name? Who was he?
At that moment you didn’t know that it wasn’t the last time you will see this car. You didn’t know how important this car will be in your life. You couldn’t even imagine all the backseat craziness that you will be part of. You couldn’t imagine that for now the nameless owner of this car will one day become the love of your life and his brother aka ”talking wall with a kind face” will become your brother too.
Your life had change…you just didn’t know yet how much.
***
It was like an itch. The itch that wouldn’t go away. You were scared….no, you were terrified. You knew that what you saw was real, you knew it was real same as the beer that you had that evening and taste of cigarettes in your mouth. “Well he warned me, he warned me, and I didn’t want to listen,” you thought to yourself “I need to know my enemy…fuck! What a moron!” you were walking in place in your bedroom. You stood up, changed CD, sat down again, walked again a bit, sat down, stood up and all over again. “What was I thinking? What now??” The only thing you would think about was a book lying in your bag. It was luring you, whispering to you, tempting you “maybe I can find something there, something which could help me protect myself,” you were circling around your bag “No. Definitely not. It’s what got me into this mess in the first place. I had to look! Of course, I had to look. This damn book!” your mood was switching between anger and despair with a speed of light “no…. it’s not the fault of a book. How can a book be responsible for that? I’m being ridiculous. It is just a book. He said I have a gift, he said that he can see it clearly. It must be that. I always knew that there was something wrong with me,” your thoughts were chaotic, your emotions shattered, and your body was shaking like in cold “god it’s freezing in here! Or maybe I’m simply overreacting. Too much adrenalin. It’s wearing off that’s why,” you sat down on your bed and took a book in your hands. Just by looking at it you were feeling better, calmer but at the same time anxious…disturbed. This feeling deep down wouldn’t let go. Feeling that it’s not right, that something it’s not right. “Of course, it’s not right! You just saw a fucking demon or something! What’s right about it?! I poked the shadows and they came. I’ve got what I wanted. Demon…fucking demon.”
Suddenly you realized, you were not scared of the demon itself, but of the fact that you saw it. It wasn’t the dark corners of the alleyways, or completely blackout streets, or cold wind on your face that scared you. But the fact that it happened. It wasn’t even that terrifying gruesome face horribly twisted in pain, no…that did not scare you.
Face… “he had such a kind face….” you stood up and walked up to the window. You looked out on the street to calm, quiet, cover in the night light “he had such kind face….and compassion in his eyes…. he was humane” it was so striking to you. You gave up on people a long time ago, people were assholes, selfish, poisonous, merciless, cruel, egocentric assholes. You had a close circle of few trusted friends, and one that you would give up your life for, but as a general rule you didn’t like people that much. Even if with your outgoing, cheery, personality one would though the opposite “fucking miss sunshine and rainbows seeing demons and digging into the occult” You didn’t trust people that much so it stroke you “why did I trust this guy? Power of the suit I guess…” or maybe it was because he told you things that you wanted to hear. Unfortunately, that thought did not pass your mind. Nor the thought about turning back while you still could. Could you? Or it was already too late.
These thoughts did not pass through your mind either.
You felt tired, exhausted. Remaining adrenaline completely wore off. You closed the curtains and passed down on the bed. You’ve drifted completely.
You didn’t hear anything. Not music in your speakers, nor mom checking on you, nor purr of the Impala passing through a street right in front of your window.
***
In your dreams you saw a man in a black suit with a purple tie standing on the other side of the street, staring at your window and smiling sleazy. His eyes were black, and he was holding in his hands a small glowing bottle. His eyes were red…
His eyes were red, and he was cover in black smoke…
Red eyes came closer…
Black smoke came closer…
Closer…
It was everywhere around you….
It was blocking your vision…
It was touching your shoulders…
It was waving your hair….
It was getting into your mouth…into your lungs….
You couldn’t see…
You couldn’t breathe….
You were scared….
You couldn’t see…
…..
And then through the smoke you saw something else. A light. Green light tearing through the black smoke. It was good, it was calming, it was intense, courageous…
His eyes were red…
Behind black silhouette you saw green light…. green eyes…
His eyes where green….
They were beautiful…
They were brave…
They were calming…
Black smoke all but disappeared…
You were calm… you were safe….
***
Few days later
You didn’t say about any of it to Katie. Hell, after a few days you almost forgot about everything that happened. You were curious again, you were excited especially since your parents left for a weekend. Your curiosity was building up inside you over the last few days so much that you couldn’t resist anymore.
You cleverly explained to yourself that what you are doing is not wrong. That knowledge is power, that’s what your grandma always thought you. You had everything clear and all was good, or at least that how it sounded in your head.
You sat down on your bed, it was quiet, no one was home so no one could bother you. No one could stop you either. You sat down on your bed and lost yourself completely in between pages. It was exactly what you wanted it was exactly what you were looking for. Magic seemed to be leaking of the pages, from the book into you. The feeling, the excitement, the knowledge it was everything you were hoping for. With every word, every sentence, every drawing you were feeling more. More of everything. It seemed like something was waking up inside of you. Some part of you that you knew it was existing, but you couldn’t reach. You were feeling good, so damn good. Like every door in front of you was wide open and it was inviting you to step in and see and feel what you were longing to. You were fascinated, you were hypnotized, you were gone completely. It wasn’t scary, it felt right…
Every door did open. It seemed for the first time in your life you were thinking straight. Every page every chapter was another door, wide open, and you were happily walking through it. It was a good day, you were feeling good, you were happy, you were smiling.
Everything around seemed to be brighter and lighter more vibrant than usual. Afternoon warm sun was leaking into your room, your Budgerigar parrot was chirping joyfully in the cage and you couldn’t help but smile.
Every door did open. You turned another page and to your surprise it was blank. Completely blank. You turned another and another and one more and they were all blank. You felt nervous again, you felt that your happiness is leaving you and nervousness is coming back. You flipped a couple more only to find out that they were all blank however there was something else. Little black feather stuck in between the pages. You gently took it into your hands” oh that is so beautiful” you thought to yourself, but this thought quickly disappeared. Something has changed…
You looked up, the sun was down, and your room was darker than a moment ago. You grabbed your phone disoriented but before you managed to unlock it, your phone started ringing. It was an old flip Samsung phone, you knew all 32 possible polyphonic sounds. This was not one of them. It wasn’t one of them, it wasn’t your phone sound. You dropped it on the bed like it was some unknown being that you didn’t want to have any contact with. It was still ringing but the display was off, there was no incoming call, just a sound.
It got quiet, only this strange unknown sound was tearing the silence. Your cheerful bird was completely quiet, she didn’t make a sound.
“Hey sweetie,” you walked to the cage and poked the bars gently. Your voice was quiet, small “sweetie what’s going on?” she was completely frozen in place looking behind you on the wardrobe door. You turned around but there was nothing there, “sweetie c’mon you’re scaring me,” you sounded even weaker. You turned around and you felt it…cold…it was cold, the air was like electrified and you felt it…. presence. There was something in your room.
You run out of the bedroom, terrified, shocked, you wanted to tell someone.
“Mom!?” there was no one home, “shit I forgot, shit shit shit. Book, phone,” you came back to your room, not able to think clearly. You just wanted to grab a book and phone. You were terrified but turned out there was no need for that. Everything was normal, everything was like it suppose to be. There was no cold, the air was as usual, and your bird was joyfully chirping again.
You took your phone, gently at first, but upon noticing than it looks and works normally you just showed it to your bag along with the book, grabbed a jacket and run out.
” I’m imaging things,” you thought to yourself “I always had a big imagination. It must be it.” It was evening already. Under normal circumstances you would be glad that it’s warm and it’s not raining but not today. “I need to see this guy. He will know what to do. He said that I can find him if I need to.” You were going forward not thinking about the destination “where and how am I supposed to find him for fuck sake!!?”
It was just past 7pm so you decided, for some unknown reason, to check the library. It was a good call. As soon you saw a building you spotted him, closing the main entrance.
“Hey!!” you called up him “hey mister!! Please wait” he seemed to not hear you. He was leaving. “Please wait!! Mister” you caught up to him and stopped him a place by grabbing his arm.
He turned around, slowly removed his suit sleeve from your hand and smiled.
“My name is Crowley” he introduced himself with a sleazy smile.
“I’m so sorry for being so rude” you were trying to keep yourself compose but with every second it was becoming more and more difficult. You were staring in your nightmare face. The suit, purple tie, sleazy smile. You took two steps back.
“Is that my book in your bag? You wanted to talk? Something happened?” he sounded concerned, but it was fake, it was so different then what you saw a couple days ago on Sam’s face “you look scared darling. Let’s go somewhere to talk” he continued and even if you didn’t want to go you felt like you had no choice here.
“I don’t want to bother you mister…” you started.
“Crowley” he corrected you “Alright, so I assume you would rather go deal by yourself with whatever hellish force you summoned”
“No…but...” you almost whispered.
“Then make your bloody decision!” his charm was completely gone. With every second passing by it was becoming clear to you, you ware staring at the face from your dream. In the evening light of the street lamps you could barely see his purple tie and dark eyes but you were sure that he was a black eye person from your dream. He was bossy and demanding and even if you wanted you couldn’t refuse.
“I need help” you replied.
“Then follow me.”
***
“Care to share what happened? You did not come to me just so we could chit chat like besties.” Crowley was walking two steps ahead of you, far enough so you could not see his face but close enough so he could grab you in case you would try to run away.
“I believe that demon is after me,” you replied with a barely audible voice.
“A demon? Oh, darling, why would you think that,” he replied but you could sweat that you heard a giggle in his voice.
“I saw something. I don’t know. It is hard to explain,” you paced the walk so you could see his face “is that possible Crowley? Is that possible that I saw a demon?”
“Everything is possible darling. With a proper tool in the hands of a young and inexperienced witch.” In the evening light you saw a sneer.
“Witch? A witch?” fear which you felt moments ago disappeared almost completely and got replaced by anger. You got played. You didn’t know how and why exactly and what is his deal, but you knew that you got played and now you were in trouble. “Come again?”
“A witch, my dear. A witch!” he rapidly stopped and looked at you “Bloody hell I really thought you were brighter than you look. Pretty face won’t get you far in life,” he was talking more to himself than to you. With every minute passing by he was ruder and ruder towards you “Let me emphasize this for you because it looks to me you’re not getting the full picture here. You are A Witch. There, clear enough?” you were completely stunned “Dear I thought you knew that already. I told you that you have a gift and I didn’t lie. I also told you that you need to be careful, and I did not lie about that either.”
“I thought it was just a talk,” you managed to find what’s left from your courage and you looked straight in his eyes. You were expecting them to turn black or red any second.
“Just a talk…bollocks, you lucky that you have your looks” he snarked.
“What do you want from me?” you asked. To your surprise your voice was not shaking.
“Question is what do you want from me?”
“I want this…whatever it is to go away. If it’s a demon or ghost or whatever it is, I want it to be gone”
“And see with that I can help. I can help you to banish it. I can help you to unleash your power, awake witch sleeping inside you, magic that already started to wake up. I can help you to unlock your power so you could banish that thing by yourself. Sounds interesting doesn’t it?” sneer was constantly dancing on his lips.
“Yes…” you replied without hesitation. You weren’t thinking. He was offering something that you wanted, and you were willing to take a bait.
“Do you want power?”
“Yes…” you repeated without hesitation.
“Good... wait here.” He turned around and started walking away from you. You realized that you are on the outskirts of the town surrounded by old tenement houses and abandon factory.
“How did we get here. It’s impossible,” you started to look around.
“It’s magic darling. Everything is possible,” he replied to your thoughts “Be a good girl and wait here.”
“Where are you going? I’m not sure…” you grabbed his cuff again. He did not like it.
“This is an expensive suit,” he turned to you “you’re not sure of what exactly?”
“I don’t like it…” feeling of nervousness came back “You…you’re not doing this from the goodness of your heart,” you straighten your back and raised your head up, “This…all of this stinks from a mile away!”
He only looked at you, his eyes narrow, side smile disappeared. There was darkness in his eyes but there were not black or red.
“It all began when I meet you! All of it. The visions, images, demons all of it!” you threw accusations at him. You were angry, you were angry at him, at this situation that you got yourself into, but mostly on yourself. How could you be such an idiot “And now you want to help me? Is that so? I call it a bullshit!!” it seemed like angrier you were becoming more impatient he was. “So, I’m asking you! Who are you and what do you want from me?!”
“Oh darling…” he started quietly but his voice was strong, demanding your attention “you have no idea what you got yourself into. With your curiosity and your need to be something more than you are. This need inside of you to be extraordinary, to be valued, to be wanted and desired, to matter,” he was mocking you “I already got what I wanted. And only one step is separating you from having what you want” he was looking in your eyes intensively, like he was trying to force his will on you. And then you saw it, just for a split second, red flash in his eyes. It was enough. You took a step back just to notice two other silhouettes standing close by. Their eyes were black.
“No..” you replied “Whatever you are offering I ain’t buyin’ it” you took two more steps back ready to turn around and run.
“Well shame. I wanted to be nice, I was willing to wait. See witch souls becomes more valuable with age so these couple years would be beneficial for me. But in this case well…have it your way. I will have my witch soul one way or another. Take her.” He said and vanished in front of your eyes.
Something has changed and you knew that your life will not be the same as it used to be. Black silhouettes came out of the shadows. Evil, sleazy smiles were painted on their faces and their eyes were black. All doors opened and you saw them clearly, like, in light of the noon sun, there were demons.
You started to go back, ready to run, to flee because you knew your life depended on it.
One step…
Two steps…
Three steps…
“Going somewhere?” you heard a growly voice behind your back. You wanted to turn around, but it was too late. Faceless forced grabbed your hands and twisted them violently. You wanted to scream but you didn’t.
“Let me go!” you struggled but pain in your arms only grew stronger “Let me go you son of a bitch”
“Look at her, so feisty,” your heard low menacing laugh, “we are going so much fun,” he pushed you forcefully on the concrete street. “I think after we finish with you, you will be wishing for the death” before you managed to get back on your feet, he was on you. He turned you on your back, with one hand he secured your wrists and with the other he took out a knife. “Oh, I don’t need that…I just like it. You can do so much with one knife. Maybe I’ll cut…” he started moving blade on your face, neck, collarbones “where would I start.” You were scuffling to get free from his grasp. There was no fear, no tears, no chaotic thoughts, only a wave of anger. You were furious, frantic so much so that you prepared to bite his ear off if he gets any closer.
“I know,” he continued. His face only an inch from yours, “I will rip your soul apart from inside out and I will take the meat suit for myself,” he grinned, and you saw a black smoke coming out of his mouth.
Black smoke came closer…
Closer…
It was everywhere around you….
It was blocking your vision…
You couldn’t see…
You couldn’t breathe….
…..
You couldn’t breathe….
……
” I’m dying….” Single though went through your head.
……….
You couldn’t breathe….
……
You heard a gunshot. It seemed like from far away. Something moved….no, something fell. Blunt sound of something felling on the street.
Sound of the fight. Someone got hit. Someone got thrown on the ground. Clench of the knife. Gunshot. Punch. Clench of the metal dropping on the street.
“Dean! Get the girl!” you heard in the background.
“Let her go you son of a bitch!!” a husky voice sounded in the background followed by a single gunshot.
And then suddenly force on your wrist disappeared. You opened your eyes.
His eyes where green….
Black smoke all but disappeared…
“Hey, hey…you okay?” he was kneeling right next to you with one hand on your shoulder and another on your back helping you to get up.
“Yeah….” You weren’t sure.
His eyes where green….
“Look at me,” he forced you gently to look at him, “you know where you are?”
“Yeah… but what the hell happened,” you tried to get up and he held you strong so you wouldn’t fell.
“Wow not so fast,” he helped you up.
“I’m alright, really,” you turned around only to see three dead bodies lying on the ground “what the actual fuck?”
“Hate to break it to you sweetheart but those were demons, and the one over there tried to possess you.” he summarized quickly.
“Yeah I know. Or at least that’s what I thought,” you replied “god what is that taste in my mouth. I’m going to throw up,” you frowned with disgust.
“It’s Sulphur. Demon left an after test I guess,” he was staring at you intensively still hovering one hand behind your back just in case.
“Great now I’m definitely going to throw up.”
“I’ve got some water in the car.” He offered “You feel up to walking?”
“Sure” you looked at him and nodded. He was looking at you. His beautiful green eyes scouting your face like they were searching for some answers. They were curious, questioning, and worried. Another stranger who genuinely looked worried. That was too much for one week.
“Something wrong?” you asked.
“Nah. C’mon let’s get you something to wash out this demon out of your mouth,” he smirked.
“Oh, so gross!!” you cringed.
“But it made you smile,” he noted with a smile.
You couldn’t help but smile. You almost got possessed by a demon just a moment ago but looking at his handsome face and fierce, green eyes made you somehow feel better, lighthearted. It made you smile.
“His eyes where green….”
You haven't walked more than two blocks. He was still gently securing your back like he was worrying that you might fell. He was glancing at you and he didn’t even try to hide it.
“What?” you asked finally this time with a wide smile.
“Nothing, nothing. Just usually people get all freaked out and they are breaking into the tears and tantrums calling to god and cursing us only to throw a tantrum again,” he replied “you're oddly calm,” he noted.
“I don’t know what to say to you. I’m a wierdo I guess. I don’t have a tendency to cry hysterically or….” You stopped in mid-sentence “Holy shit!!!” A shiny black impala bathed in the light of streetlamps appeared to your eyes. You looked at him, back on the car, on him again. He was glowing with pride.
“She beautiful isn’t she?”
“You must be fucking shitting me!”
He definitely looked confused. His eyes were even more curious than before. He wanted to say something, but he stopped seeing another person coming in your way.
“Sammy!” he called up his brother “Anything?”
“He bailed off” Sam replied shortly “What the hell man? What, Crowley came back to being a crossroad demon? What was this all about? How is the…” he noticed you standing right next to Dean, shocked and confused “Y/N? What the hell you are doing here?”
“What the hell I’m doing here? What hell you doing here?! What is going on? And how do you know Crowley?
“Wow, wow! Hold on princess?” Dean jumped in “You know her?” he referred to Sam.
“Yeah, that’s the girl that was gushing over your car. The one I was telling you about” Sam replied quickly “How do you know Crowley?” he referred to you”
“It is a long story…” you replied hesitantly and it came to you, the book was still in your bag.
“So, it wasn’t crazy ex-boyfriend huh?”
“Guilty”
“That explains why you didn’t throw a tantrum.” Dean pointed out “Care to put some light on all of it?”
“I will tell you guys everything if you’ll tell me what the hell just happened.”
“Deal” green eyes smiled again “You first” he added with a smirk.
There was something about the way he smiled that you just had to smile back. “Who is he?” you wandered while glancing in his shiny green eyes. He’s jacket was worn off, flannel underneath suggested that he preferred comfort over trends, he looked like he haven’t had a good night sleep for days and beard on his face suggested that he was on the road more than in a home. ”Why I was dreaming about you” you were wondering and the lack of space between you and him was not helpful. The smell of leather and wood was intoxicating so much so that you couldn’t think. You took two steps aside and you gently leaned over the Impala door.
“You don’t mind?” you asked Dean “I’m feeling dizzy a bit” you lied.
“I don’t, let me get you that water” he replied and reached out to the small refrigerator on the back seat. “So? How do you know Crowley?”
There were complete strangers yet something about them made you feel safe and it had nothing to do with the fact that they saved your life. It had everything to with them. The way they talked, the way they smiled, the look in their eyes, everything about them was honest and genuine. Even behind Dean’s sassy smirk you could see a noble and fierce man who was willing to put himself and his brother in danger just to save some random girl who got herself in trouble.
So, you told them, you told them everything starting from the day you meet Crowley. Everything about how you met him in the library, about the book, about demon face in the windshield and in your room and what let you here. In your heart you wished you had more courage in you because when it came to tell about the part where Crowley called you a witch and talked about your witch soul you decided to skip this detail. It crossed your mind that Sam and Dean probably heard what Crowley was saying, especially since Sam went after him, but you decided quickly that since they’re not mentioning it, you won’t either.
“And then you two showed up and saved my stupid ass” you snarked.
“You have a book with you?” Dean asked.
“Sure, I do” you reached out to the bag and handed him the book.
They both took a really good look at it, exchanged a couple side looks like there were talking in their minds.
“It looks cursed to me” said Sam while going through pages “it’s not a spellbook or grimoire…”
“Not even close…” Dean finished “It’s all nonsense, besides that” He pointed on the inside of the back cover.
“What is that?” you leaned to take a closer look.
“Attenrobendum eos, ad ligandum eos, potiter eos, coram me.” Sam read “it’s a demon summing incantation.”
“Don’t worry you safe,” Dean added quickly seeing you getting stiff “reading the lines it’s not enough. You need a ritual to summon a demon.”
“What you going to do with it?” you’ve asked.
“We going to burn it. I believe that whatever you saw was somehow Crowley doing which does not change the fact that this book is cursed.” Sam opened the trunk and took out a small bottle of gasoline and matches.
Your curiosity stroke again and you took a quick look into the trunk. You were not expecting to see the arsenal like that. Guns, rifles, knives, machetes, wooden sticks, all sorts of bottles filled with liquids and other unknown things, multiple rosaries, crosses and on top of that huge pentagram inside of the lid.
“Who are you guys…” you asked stunned.
“We’re hunters” Dean replied quickly.
“Hunters? And what, you hunt monsters?” you looked at him and it surprised you how he looked at you, like he was observing your reaction.
“Pretty much. Demons, ghosts, ghouls, vampires, werewolves, the list is endless” he was holding your look like he was waiting for the reaction.
But you didn’t say anything. What was here to say. Monster hunters, demons, cursed objects, yeah you wanted to know but at this moment knowledge was becoming overwhelming. The only thing left to say was sincere thank you.
“Thank you for saving my stupid ass.”
***
It was becoming bright outside when you stood and watch the book burn to ash.
Day was at dawn when you realized that there is a truth in old saying be careful what you wish for.
The sun was almost up when they drove you to your home. In the back seat of the Impala you felt safe and comfortable so much so that you drifted away. You could swear that you heard Sam and Dean talking about Crowley and witch soul, but you were too far gone in the dreamland to make any sense of it. You wished that drive home would last longer. For some strange reason in that moment on the back seat of the Impala you felt like home.
The new day begun when you hugged them both and thank them once more for saving your life. You promised Dean that you will keep your nose clean and stop looking for shady guys in suits.
“If anything happens, anything remotely strange or weird call me,” he handed you a piece of paper with his number on it. “Anything at all, alright?” his bright green eyes were intensively staring at you.
“Promise” you smiled pleased to see that he smiled back. “Stay safe out there,” you added.
“Don’t go looking for trouble on your own.” he gave you a hug, a little bit more lengthy than it supposes to be. The smell of leather and wood surrounded you for the last time.
The sun was completely up when you took one last one look at Impala driving away.
Your life has changed and there was no question about that. You were wondering if you will ever see them again. You were wondering if you ever see these hypnotizing green eyes and smell leather and wood surrounding you.
“Witch” the word sounded in your head when Impala disappeared completely.
Back in that moment you could only wonder if your paths will cross again. You could only wonder where they were heading next, where the road leads them. You couldn’t know that it will take another 3 years for the road to take them back to you. You couldn’t know that in three years your life will change again, forever this time.
***
“What you are so cheery about?” Sam asked looking at his brother smiling face.
“C’mon Sammy! We saved a girl, we killed some demons, I call it a good day!”
“Yeah, it was good to be back in action. And Y/N, heh, she is a wierdo but in a good way” Sam smiled slightly “We still don’t know what Crowley wanted from her. What was that all about with the witch soul…”
“Let me stop you right here. Can we just appreciate for a moment a good hunt?”
Dean reached out to a glove compartment for a cassette tape and a moment later Black Magic Woman filled the silence between them.
“Really?” Sam rose and eyebrow “Santana?”
“What?! It’s a classic!” Dean defended himself.
“Mhm. You liked her didn’t you”
Dean didn’t reply at first. He just smiled with a corner of his lips, barely, and took a long look at the road ahead.
“I don’t know man…” he finally started “I have a feeling we will see her sooner or later. I’m just hoping she’ll be safe”
So after watching John Wick 3 Parabellum for the third time I got insanely inspired and I decided to start writing again.
This movies are pure work of art. Smart, intelligent, treading viewer with a respect and so freaking beautiful! I’m mesmerized by them and I cannot remember last time when something got me so inspired.
It is a beautiful feeling so I decided to explore it. I used to write a lot, but it’s been a long time ago. I never posted any fanfic on tumblr so it’s kinda exciting.
I had this idea stuck in my head for quite some time right now and I decided to give it a go. Definitely it’s going to be series. I don’t see myself writing one shots. And since Supernatural owns my ass it’s going to be Supernatural x John Wick crossover with tiny bit of Mission Impossible because I believe that Ethan Hunt fits to that story very well.
Anyways, if anyone will read, I hope you like it.
I will be posting first chapter today and I plan to post one chapter per week.
Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader, Ethan Hunt x reader (it’s complicated), John Wick x reader (wait for it)
Warning: None
Word count: 4842
Disclaimer: I don’t live in New York and never been there so everything is based on my own imagination and sources like movies, tv and games. Forgive me any inconsistencies with a real world. Also I do not own the gifs, credits to the authors. Also also, English is not my first language so I apologize for any possible mistakes.
Summary: I don’t want to spoil to many details so lets just say it is crossfiction between Supernatural and John Wick with a bit of Mission Impossible.
Shadow from the past: Chapter 1
“Be careful while looking into the darkness. Be careful because you might like what you find there”
Dreams. They can be blessing and the curse at the same time. When you hope for them to come usually they are nowhere to be found. Or worse, they are coming but they are not exactly what you were hoping for.
***
“Concierge. How may I be of service?” soft male voice with a slight French accent spoken to the phone.
………
“It’s Y/N/L. Is he back?”
…
“Miss Y/L/N. I am sorry but I have not seen him tonight”
…
“Thank you. Please let me know if he shows up”
….
“Of course miss Y/L/N.”
….
….
“Thank you”
….
….
“Miss Y/L/N…” soft voice spoke again after brief silence “I don’t mean to overstep any boundaries here but how is your wound?”
“What wound?….” no response on the other side of line “Charon? What wound?”
“There is a bullet in your arm….there is a stab wound in your abdomen and left thigh. You are going to die…and there is nothing he can do about it. You are going to die….and no one will mourn after you…”
….. … … … …..
***
You abruptly opened your eyes. You were lying in the bed breathing heavily trying to pull yourself back from a dream. Room was completely dark, one of the benefits of not having a windows in the bedroom. You slowly started gaining conscious. Your hands drifted to your stomach subconsciously but your cold fingers did not found anything suspicious. You slowly and gently got up from a bed trying not to wake up man who was sleeping right next to you.
“It was just a dream” you thought to yourself rubbing your eyes “just a fucking dream”.
You got up from a bed and quietly went to the bathroom. You shut the door behind you and turned on the light. Sudden, sharp and unapologetic whiteness of the celling lamp was hurting your eyes but at the same time it was good for bringing you back to reality.
“Fuck I look like shit” You looked at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes seemed to be tired and sad at the same time, there were visible dark circles below. You haven’t dream this kind of nightmare for years.
“Screw it…there is nothing I cannot fix with a make up” you thought to yourself while splashing cold water on your face.
“Hey sweetheart” you felt a hand wrapping around your waist. You stood up from a bathroom sink with your eyes still closed only to feel him standing right behind you “Having hard time to sleep?” he asked with a husky voice burying his face in your neck and kissing you lightly.
“Dean…” you whispered and put your hands over his wrapping his arms tighter around you “Did I wake you?”
“Nah…alarm clock did” he replied brushing his lips over your neck.
“Liar” you whispered “what time is it?”
“After 6am”
“Damn… it is way too early to be awake” you sighed “Coffee or bed?” you asked turning yourself in his arms to face him. He looked adorable with his messy hair and sleepy green eyes.
“Sweetheart as much as I wish to go back to bed with you….” he started
“I know I know…research, we got work to do blah blah blah” you cut him off annoyed a bit “I’m gonna make some coffee than” you kissed his cheek and left him in the bathroom for his morning routine.
You dressed yourself quickly. Black sweatpants and black tank top seemed like a good option for not such a good morning. You tight your hair in loose messy bun just enough so they would not fell on your face. You grabbed your phone from a night stand and brown leather which was hanging loosely on the chair. Coffee was the mission but on your way to kitchen you decided to take a small detour and walk outside for some fresh air.
Morning was cold and gloomy, dark clouds were all over the sky and morning sun was nowhere to be found. You reached to your pocket for a package of cigarettes and a lighter. It was a routine already. After a nightmare like that you needed some cold air and cigarette.
“What the hell was that” you thought to yourself inhaling a smoke. You closed your eyes enjoying a morning cigarette and you saw it all flashing back. This elegant, modern classic room…old rotatory phone, black satin sheets on the king size bed, Blanton’s Single Barrel Bourbon on the night stand right next to fully loaded Glock 26 and your body cover in blood. You put a cigarette into your mouth and started rubbing your left shoulder “Some wounds will never heal” you thought to yourself.
Dream caught you of guard. True, you were used to a nightmares, you had them since you could remember, way before you entered supernatural world. Perks of being a witch. Your dreams were always vivid and felt very very real. Sometimes there were more than just a dreams. Premonitions would be more accurate, visions of…you didn’t know exactly of what. It’s not like you foreseen the future. It was more a feeling, a warning manifesting through your dreams. Sometimes you had hard time to interpret them correctly and you never talked about it with Dean or Sam. They would understand but you didn’t want to worry them. Especially Dean who was worrying constantly even if he was doing his best not to show it. And there was of course another site to all of it…he did not knew everything about you. There were things that you left hidden from everyone, well almost everyone, but Dean was one of the people that you kept secrets from. Not because you didn’t trust him, you did. He was your friend, your partner, your safe haven and for over 6 years now. And that was the reason why you kept a secrets from him. You didn’t want to ruin what you found here. But past is a past…it creeps out in the darkness, lurks form the shadows, and you can never outrun it.
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader, Ethan Hunt x reade, John Wick x reader
Warning: violence, guns, alcohol, swearing
Word count: 5503
Discliamer: I don’t live in New York and never been there so everything is based on my own imagination and sources like movies, tv and games. Forgive me any inconsistencies with a real world. Also I do not own the gifs, credits to the authors. Also also, English is noot my first language so I appologize for any possible mistakes.
Summary: Reader is a hunter with rather complicated past involving John Wick and Ethan Hunt.
From author: For those who has been waiting - thank you and sorry it took so long.
Recommended playlist: Jazz Noir
Chapter 1
Shadow from the past: Chapter 2
(…)
“You working again?” he asked still completely focused on you. His face tense in the anticipation.
And with that question you knew, you were sure that there was no case, no ghost, no hunting and there definitely was a shootout. You knew that he was here, he order you a drink and he is involved in all of this. Past catch up with you, there is no other way than move forward, no hesitation. You knew that to that question there was only one correct answer.
…..
“Yeah, I am” you replied shortly without braking an eye contact with him. You slowly moved your hand to your back focused and calm yet surprised and nervous at the same time. Your senses got heightened, you could feel your every muscle, every nerve tense in anticipation for his next move.
“I thought you were retired” he said taking two small step towards you, his hand slowly moving closer to his side awaiting for your next move.
“Well I thought that to. But here we are” your voice cold and composed. His appearance surly was unexpected and as much as you were sort of happy to see him you had bigger problems on your mind at that moment.
“You look good” he smiled and took another two steps in your direction.
“Cut the crap Ethan” you put your whisky glass on the table right next to you “You shouldn’t be here” you watched his every move, every step, awaiting him to pull out his gun.
“Neither are you” he pointed out with a smirk “thought we had an agreement”
“Well desperate times” you didn’t even blinked, you felt your eyes tearing up a bit from all the smoke floating in the air “I had to rethink our agreement. You know me. I just play the cards that life is dealing me”
“You got dealt a bad hand darling” he was only one step away from you. You could see how perfectly ironed his blue shirt was, he could see your lacy bra strap slipping under your cashmere blouse. You could see tiny traces of sweat on his forehead, he could see your shimmering champagne eye shadow and deep burgundy lipstick on your lips. You could smell Code on him, he could smell Addict on you. You could see in his eyes thousand thoughts running through his mind right now. He was analyzing, considering all the options… what he will do if you draw your gun, what will you do if he pulls out his, where are the nearest exits, on which side you are, are you happy to see him, would you be able to shoot him, would he be able to shoot you…? You were wondering what he could see in your eyes because comparing to him in that moment you had only one thought in your mind “he was here. He probably is still here, somewhere in the shadows….watching me”.
“You should stay away” Ethan continued “and you definitely should stay away from this job. Y/N please don’t do this” he said with pleading voice. That was it, you had to check if he was here, if he was watching. Just for a moment, just for a second, you had to check…you looked away….
That second was enough, suddenly Code was not in the air anymore, it was all over you along with Ethan touch. He grabbed your hand on your back and stopped it gently but firmly before you could reach for you gun. Other hand landed on your hip, his face right next to yours, warm cheek pressed against yours. You tried to slip away from his grip which only caused him to press his whole body to yours and grab your hip more tightly.
“Calm down Y/N…calm down” he breathed to your ear when you started to search for a way to get out from his grasp “calm down for fuck sake! I don’t mean to fight you” he uttered loosening his grip to prove his words. You stayed in your place trying to look at him but he only pressed his cheek closer to yours forcing you to stay as you were “don’t…” he warned and you understood…he saw something that you did not…you were in danger “Agent Page on your six” he enlightened you slightly emphasizing on Deans fake last name.
….
”He knows….” you thought to yourself “Did he saw us?” you asked completely relaxing in Ethan’s arms surrendering to him and waiting for his move. It wasn’t the first time and your instinct assured you it will not be the last either.
“He will any moment” his lips slightly touched your ear “when I say, kick me. Hard.” he instructed.
“What? Ethan I don’t want to…”
“Hun, do me a favor and just this one time, don’t argue with me” he cut you off “If you don’t want inconvenient questions from your boyfriend over there do as I say” you could feel his breath on your skin, you could feel his heart bit almost synchronized with yours. He loosen his grip almost completely “You’ve got everything you need to find me” he whispered.
“What makes you think I will search for you?” you smirked and kicked him in the stomach freeing yourself from his grasp.
He stumbled down and felt on one knee grasping for an air. You didn’t mean to kick him that hard but you were pissed, you were furious and your anger took better of you.
“Learn what not interested means you fucking perv!” you said way to loud intended to fake a scene “Be seeing you Ethan…” you added with barely audible voice “Stay away from shadows” you winked and left.
Czytaj dalej
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