baby, look what you've done to me.

Alaska let out a sigh and slid down to sit in her little corner of the compartment. “What if we’re stuck in here for hours though? You’re just gonna sit there quietly?” She asked looking over at him. “We could talk about YouTube videos. Those always seem to make the time go by fast, I watched on this morning about this dog and a horse that became best friends. Turned out to be an ad, which sucked. But the dog was cute so I didn’t mind all too much,” the blonde rambled. She wanted to stop, he didn’t want to hear her talking he’d already made that clear. But it was her nervous habit, if something was weird she couldn’t shut up.

“Hold the elevator please!” As if by instinct, like she knew someone would need to elevator held open, she stuck one of her feet between the doors and frantically pressed at the open button on the wall. She began to smile as the man walked in, but it quickly fell as she saw who it was. If at this moment the world swallowed her whole she wouldn’t mind even in the slightest. Alaska was a second from dipping out of the elevator, but a moment too late because as the thought crossed her mind the doors closed, solidifying her fate. 

In the two months of not talking to Harry Alaska had done two things; start waitress and thinking about him nearly every single day. She wanted to be upset about… well just about anything other than herself. But it was all her fault, everything had been of her own doing and there was no way to erase that pain. So she stepped away from anything that reminded her of him, keep herself safe to some degree.

Harry had found himself much later than he had wanted to be, so he had started to walk faster towards the elevator. He noticed it was closing and he walked even faster. “Hold the elevator please!” He said as he threw his arm in between the two doors. He was flustered and was trying to regain his composure. “Thanks.” he said and he looked up for the first time. He saw the beautiful blonde he had poured his heart into so many times before. She was just standing there in front of him and it was like nothing had even changed for a second, but then reality set in again and he was drawn back to Earth.

“I quit my job so I’d never see ‘what’s his face’ again. I don’t know how it happened I didn’t want it to happen. I’m sorry. Sorry doesn’t sweeten your tea and I get that, but there isn’t much else I can say.” This is what it felt to have her heart ripped to pieces. She’d ruined everything when she’d ran away last year and they had found their way back together again. But this… this was he own doing and there wasn’t some fix, she couldn’t find some reason t place the blame on anyone but herself. 

“Wow, you shouldn’t of done that. I assumed the two of you would be spending a lot of time together since we are done.” Harry impulsively sent. He didn’t actually think they were done, nor did he want to be done. He just wanted to rattle her. “I was saving some big news to tell you as well. The guys and I decided to take the year off to do our own things, and I just wanted to spend my year with you.”

She wasn’t mad, she was frustrated. Because this was clearly her fault and somehow she’d convinced herself that this was going to be everything for her. That because she loved him and he had loved her it’d be enough and then she went and fucked the whole thing up. “Are you gonna have time off soon where you can come here or should I try to catch a flight so we can talk?” Deep down she knew this would all blow up in her face, and it’d probably be in this conversation versus in person, but she had to find a way to make something civil happen.

“I’m off now, actually. Didn’t tell you. Thought you’d be out with what’s his face. You seemed to be pretty close to him that night.” He knew he was being emotionally damaging, but after what she did to him, he didn’t really care. It didn’t matter anymore, none of this did. If he didn’t matter too much to her, why should he care about what she had to say?

The frown that had been on her face since she had woken up the morning after only etched itself further. She should expect something like this, it was obviously well deserved. But that didn’t mean it felt any better than she thought it might having prepared tried herself. “Well that wasn’t exactly my fault. Where are you so we can figure out how to have an actual conversation?”

Harry felt kind of bad being the bad guy in this situation, but somebody had to be the the one who said what was really on their mind. “Well, I guess it wsn’t my fault either. But you want to know what was my fault? For trusting you and having faith in our relationship.” He sent. He didn’t mean to keep avoiding her question about where he was, and he realized that he hadn’t answered yet. “Cannes.”