tic tac toe, let's go

A shirtless lacrosse team perfomance is…a concept. I’ll probably have to see everyone shirtless first and here what song y'all pick to make sure it’s not actually gross or anything. But I’ll consider it.

Yeah, I’m sure people would agree to like one on one interviewing or whatever, you’re cool enough to command it. Would it be just you judging or like... your whole girl gang?

Posey: I'm safe!!! I know a lot of people were like worried since I was locked in that closet for like, a long time. Never playing Seven Minutes in Heaven ever again, just in case of another rogue fire. 😅

Maybe if you got someone or some people to acompass you with the cup flipping? One guy flipping cups in silence isn’t fun live entertainment, it’s just weird?

Right, got it. Maybe I could get like, the rest of the lacrosse team or something, then it would be a whole bunch of dudes flipping cups. And we could do it shirtless, if that makes it better?

So the Coachella feeds and stories and snaps all over social media have me feeling the WORST kind of FOMO. Especially since our own Festival isn’t until September! So! I decided I’m going to throw my own music festival themed party!

Which means it’s going to be like a regular @ pack beach party basically, but instead of a DJ or an iPod or something, the music will be supplied by us! Sort of like a talent show or open mic night mixed with a party but way way cooler! If you want to perform feel free to sign up with Me or any member of LGBT before the end of this week and we’ll think about adding you to the set list!

So I can’t sing or play an instrument, but I’m really good at that cup flipping thing that Anna Kendrick does in Pitch Perfect, if you count that as live entertainment.

Ummmm, my best bud Nico works there and he’s like, the captain of every WHS sport. He’s probably ya boi if you wanted someone to make that happen. 

Oh yeah, I sat on some benches and watched him work his sports magic last year, but I didn’t realize he worked there. Suh-weeeet, I’m sure he’ll at least put it on one TV. Are you gonna come check it out too, or is hockey not your thing?

“I change during the course of a day. I wake and I’m one person, and when I go to sleep I know for certain I’m somebody else.”

Can’t you just watch it at home or something? Why do you want to punish everyone else with yet another place that only plays sports on TV. Can your patriarchal urges chill for like however much time you spend in the Snuggly Duckling?

The screens at home are small, I have to make my own sub-par snacks, and half the time I end up watching all alone! That’s nowhere near as fun, and you can put on other things on other TVs, it just has to be the one nearest to my table that’s got the game on. 

Me. I like nachos and candy shaped like fruit.

Wanna be more specific than that? I don’t wanna fuck up the nacho toppings and make you go back on this deal, dude.

Vivi: Of course! It wouldn't exactly the kind of power couple dynamic I'd want for us. But we'd still both be front page!

Vivi: It's better than nothing, isn't it?

Bert: Hey, maybe I could change my name and my face someday or something lol. I could tell my dad it's to hide from the evil queen so we could start a new life or something but really it's so your dwarf fam don't throw tomatoes at me or something.

Look, I know I seem like a heartless bitch, but I don’t pretend like social situations aren’t fun. Staying at home watching a hockey game is probably the saddest way to spend a night when there’s a big party going on. That sounds like you and Clara are like….a thing.

What if I were going out and going to a hockey game instead? Would that still be lame or would I get bonus points for it being “a social event”? Us? A thing? Nope, no way. Definitely not. Do other people think that, too?

Vivi: I'd want to write the fictional expose, of course. But yeah, it was fun getting to hang out with you and not sneak around. There's always this Halloween too, I guess.

Bert: Oh man, with you writing it? I'd end up being front page news.

Vivi: Very. They'd probably wonder if you're trying to rob everyone in town.