You’re right, FIGHTER! It doesn’t make sense… So I fixed it

Chapter Title: Reverse Dealings

Summary: Virgil likes plants, but when he goes to investigate a plant his friend, Remy, tells him about, he doesn’t exactly check out the plant. Little does he know that the handsome man he meets there is a fairy who is about to challenge the world Virgil knows.

Word Count: 2161

Chapter Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit, Sympathetic Remus, cursing, kidnapping, injuries (unspecified)

Chapter Pairings: LAMP, Demus, Sleep/Picani

AO3 Link      My Writing

A/N: this is chapter 39, so read the first chapter here! 

I actually have a few theatre oriented stitches! And I’d totally be up for selling some :)

Best Little Whorehouse in Texaslinks [x] [x]

Places is Not a Suggestionlinks [x] [x]

Theatre Techlinks [x] [x] pattern [x]I made another one of these for an artswap with @q2qcomics [x]

“Exit, pursued by a bear”links [x] [x]

Tiny Soundboardlinks [x] [x]

Tiny Stage Managementlinks [x] [x]

Tiny Stage Lightlinks [x] [x]

“Lights, Go”links [x] [x]

Tiny Stagelinks [x] [x]

Hamil-tinelinks [x] [x]

These are formatted for standard business card printing, you can go through Moo or Vistaprint or whoever the hell you like. Sharpie in your own name and pronouns. 

Happy to take feedback and requests, but if you want your own professionally done set I reserve the right to charge for my time.

Chapter Title:  To Discuss a Deal

Summary: Virgil likes plants, but when he goes to investigate a plant his friend, Remy, tells him about, he doesn’t exactly check out the plant. Little does he know that the handsome man he meets there is a fairy who is about to challenge the world Virgil knows.

Word Count: 1762

Chapter Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit, Sympathetic Remus (mentioned), cursing

Chapter Pairings: minor LAMP

AO3 Link      My Writing

A/N: this is chapter 31, so read the first chapter here! 

If this pest weren’t a fairy, he’d be half-decent. Dee hated that he could admit that to himself. So far, two weeks have past and they’d made fairly remarkable progress in making a deal. Logan was incredibly intelligent, and he seemed to want this deal to be as foolproof as possible, for Virgil’s sake.

“You will want to use a different word here. This is too vague and can leave room for argument if something were to accidentally happen.” Logan stated.

Dee’s head hit the ground, irritably. “You just said the opposite about a different phrase!”

“I am aware, but that particular word choice was too narrow for the context. The way it was written would mean that if the deal were to end, he would forfeit magical texts he will likely obtain during the duration, leaving him with the single grimoire. Here, the language is too vague so someone may argue that Virgil so much as saying a word opposing one of our ideas could be taken as a violation.”

Remy took a sip from their coffee, mentally laughing at Dee’s irritation. “I can see why you were the prince’s selection for his advisor.”

Logan shrugged. “King Thomas chose me to be Roman’s advisor after witnessing a disagreement between the two of us. He said that it was due to my willingness to state my opinion regardless of Roman’s status.”

Remy peeked over their sunglasses at him. “I have a feeling you disagree with your king’s justification.”

“We are all entitled to our opinions,” Logan answered, scanning the document. “But, yes. I have my suspicions that he was… what is the term? Oh, he was trying to hook us up. I have no evidence before you ask, but it was the way he studied our interactions shortly after issuing my assignment.”

Dee narrowed his eyes at the fairy. “Why are you so open with this information, pest? Isn’t it treasonous for you to be this open?”

“I have shared no national secrets with you, shifter. I am free to share my own opinions.” Logan circled another word choice he wanted to be fixed. “Regardless, even if you were to obtain national secrets, you wouldn’t share it. You wouldn’t put your husband or friends in danger over something like that.”

“Oh, really? Are you so certain in your read on me, pest?” Dee demanded, hoping to bluff his certainty, despite knowing that it was completely true.

“It is part of my job to identify threats to my prince. I am well versed in reading a person. You may have your own inhibitions about us, as you insistently show through your usage of pests when referring to us, you put your husband first and friends as a very close second over your own inhibitions. Our working relationship is balanced upon our connection and love of Virgil. Even if I shared something as preposterous as a fairy invasion into… I don’t know… this realm, you’d keep it to yourself so long as you and your own were safe.”

“So that’s what your plan is!” Dee screeched.

Remy sighed. “Dee, relax. It was an example. Plus, like he said, you’d keep it to yourself. Anyway, do you think someone as intelligent as this beast would really spill a state secret?”

“It could be some reverse psychology thing where he can drag us down with him!”

“Dee, you do hear how ridiculous you sound, right?”

Logan grinned, considering it. “Actually, that does sound like a feasible idea, if I actually had any animosity towards you all. But that would jeopardize Virgil’s emotions and safety. Hopefully, you can at least admit it to yourself that I am highly concerned with protecting him.”

Dee mumbled, “only redeeming quality for you pests.”

“Anyway, do you think these will actually get approved?” Remy asked, looking over the deal. “From the surface level, this looks to favor Virgil over the three of you.”

“Yes,” Logan answered, setting aside his pen for now. “Deals are required to pass the Cassandra Mage Protections statutes, which ensure that witches are well protected within deals.”

“And when were you going to mention this set of laws of yours?” Dee asked suspiciously.

Logan shrugged. “There has been no reason to do so. Both parties in crafting this deal are intent on keeping Virgil safe, so we are automatically adhering to them.”

“What are these statues? I haven’t heard or read of them before.” Remy asked.

“Protections and rights Witches retain regardless of whatever is stated within a Fae Deal. I doubt that any reference out here would discuss them as they are still relatively new and the prevailing idea that fae are selfish pests kind of bury any good protocols we have for witches.”

“New?”

“Technically, the statues were passed earlier in King Thomas’s reign. There has been a massive trend towards protecting witches, particularly in recent history, but King Thomas and the King’s Witch pushed for more protections written in law. There were some who opposed, but after… well after Thomas lost his husband, he’s had little resistance to changing those protections.”

Remy looked over the many pages they had spread before them. “Well, if you saw no reason to bring those up, we are… uh… compliant with these statues?”

“Yes, of course.”

“What do you mean that the tooth fairy isn’t real? I’m supposed to believe all of this is real but not the damn tooth fairy! What, are you next going to tell me that Mothman doesn’t exist either?”

In unison, Dee and Remy groaned. “Damn it, Virgil.”

Remy ran a hand through their hair. “I think this is a good time to call it for the day. Vee’ll want to go searching for Mothman now with Rat-Man.”

If those two even think of setting up another sheet and flashlight, I might just murder them. Dee mentally started wondering how quickly he could hide all the things that those two dummies could use to attract moths, while he heard Logan ask what Mothman was. Remy started to explain as Virgil –who was now pouting about his crushed dreams– and Patton came over.

“Oh, that sounds like Red-Eyed Bob!” Patton giggled to Logan, hearing Remy explain.

“Red-Eyed Bob?” Virgil asked.

“Yeah, he’s got these kind of creepy red eyes which caused people to start referring to him that way!” Patton answered.

“Sounds like Mothman, and makes sense that a winged-man would be a fairy, but a fairy circle that big in West Virginia?” Remy considered.

“You say, standing in a twenty-feet circle in Florida,” Logan commented. “Regardless, I believe that my workload just received another task.”

Virgil had a little excited glitter in his eye as he asked. “If this Red-Eyed Bob is the source of the Mothman myths, you lot better introduce me to him once this deal finally is done.”

Remy threw an arm around the excited man. “You. Stop annoying your cuties with conspiracy stuff. Let the poor advisor see if the connection is real or not first.”

“Mreow!”

Dee looked at the kitten sitting on Virgil’s shoulder, dressed in a light purple sweater vest today. “Guess she told you, Vee.”

“Oh come on, Galaxy! I’m the one who feeds you.”

Remy reached over and scratched under her chin. “But a best friend keeps spoiling the little princess with lots of adorbs outfits and bows and toys.”

Patton pulled the witch into a tight hug. “Guess playtime is over, bestest friendo!”

Logan glanced at his watch. “We should be heading back. Roman will be escaping his current meeting soon for dinner.”

“Tell the royal annoyance that he better get his work done on time tomorrow,” Virgil stated. “The local bird populations haven’t been scared away by his serenades in a week.”

Dee looked at the fairy. “That reminds me of a question for you, advisor pest. Do you lot really let your prince just roam around willy-nilly without protection?”

Logan raised an eyebrow at him. “We try not to, but I believe I understand your question to be pertaining to his visits to this circle while in the presence of this group. There are precautions taken before he even considers stepping out of the palace. On top of that, both Patton and I are cleared to be his formal guard on trips such as this.”

Remy glanced at the fairy dressed in cargo shorts and a polo shirt. “I don’t really see how this one could be a guard…”

“Patton is well-trained in a Japanese weapon called an urumi or a whip sword. Even I can’t beat him with that weapon.” Logan answered, smiling at his partner who was cooing at the kitten who was trying to pet his head.

Patton giggled. “Yeah, look!”

Stepping back, Patton seemed to pull the weapon out of thin air. He easily swung it around before flicking it at some grass, easily cutting it with the multiple whip blades. He giggled as he easily made it vanish once again. Logan and Virgil gave the man applause while Remy nodded impressed. Dee was suddenly reconsidering everything he had finally at least begrudgingly accepted about these fairies and now really wishing that Logan wasn’t so good at writing contracts.

“I will not disclose what I am capable of, mostly just to annoy the shifter, who appears to have regained his full distrust in us,” Logan stated. “Now, I believe all of us should be returning for dinner. Same time tomorrow?”

“Actually, it’ll be Emile and Remus coming tomorrow. Have to occasionally let Dee have a day without fairies. Plus, it’s now more language-oriented discussions, which those two are a whole lot better than either of us at.” Remy answered. “But, yes, they’ll be here at the same time as usual. Patton and Roman can entertain this misfit with whatever they want to teach him, as I’ve overheard Patton suggesting lessons.”

“You do know that this means that Roman and Virgil will most likely end up sword fighting, right?”

“Yeah, but I figure this sweet little cupcake will at least attempt teaching him something before the prince gets bored.”

“When am I going to be allowed to choose when and what I learn? Like, come on.” Virgil muttered.

Dee looked him over. “Because you wouldn’t then. We’re helping you build up the habit of learning. Once we’re sure you’ll keep to it, then maybe ask again.”

He groaned. “It’s college all over again with you lot, I swear.”

“You know we’re torturing you only out of love, though.”

“Yeah.” He hugged Logan and Patton. “See you two tomorrow!”

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