dont bother me im fucking stanced

executed for the crime of asking me stupid shit in this hot ass weather

sentencing will be carried out at dawn because it's the only time it isn't too facking hot to be out side

google search: how to make a male coworker listen to you the first time when you are not a man

i forgot it’s 2026 so slopsearch.com tells me to stop working get married and have a baby or. kill myself

penis isn't real. pussy isn't even real. the only thing that is real, is the pleasure of combat

my relationship with dragon age as a series is so twisted it’s like my ex-husband i divorced in the messiest way possible but i still have feelings for him nobody knows me like he does and we have occasional passionate love affairs still but also i daydream about killing him in his sleep quite often

hes lying next to me in bed my hands are shaking closing around his throat i cant see through the tears

It will get cold again eventually. The summer will not last forever. I’m not doomed to live in this unbearable heat for all eternity. <- said while gripping the countertop so hard that the tile is starting to crack

my devoted but dangerously unstable knight will be hearing about this

At this point it's more disappointing than shocking that not a single assassin in the states can aim a fucking gun

Three Fuckinh Times Bruh wake me up when we get there

everyone's "well-adjusted" and "mentally healthy" until the "sometimes I wish I'd never been born at all" part of Bohemian Rhapsody comes on

you do have to be careful though like being naked in front of your window is alright but do not for any reason ever sit in front of a window at night brushing, wrapping, braiding, or otherwise carefully maintaining your lovely hair bc some vampire or elf or opera phantom might be falling in love with you from afar and then he's gonna make it your fucking problem.

I think we should. use our mutuals inboxes like gacha games and roll to get rare OC pulls . and skins. I'm like "oh shittt the Easter Event is coming up, I need to pull for the new skins" so I go into someone's inbox and send them. I dunno. a picture of a quarter. and they respond with a drawing of a random OC of theirs in a bunny onesie

women were not banging out spirk fanfiction in the 60s for you to be AI generating your fic