hold on let me try to invent a version of myself who can get us out of this mess [holds really still for a minute and a half and then turns to you with a flat affect] we probably should have killed ourselves an hour ago

(wrinkled and dying from laying eggs) tbhhhh dubstep was better in 2009 (lays another egg) there has honestoy not been another producer like Benga (stress from that last egg makes me go blind) my eggs , where are my eggs

The bar for what a normal post is on this site is so fucked compared to everywhere else

tell your cat i said what up big gangsta

boys like it when you imprison them in the ornate birdcage that hangs in the centre of your lair

why do people keep tagging this as whump what is whump. is it the sound they make when they throw themselves against the bars of the cage because they love it in there so much

I will always take the cat's side. "she's drooling on me" you're so lucky "he always wants to be petted" then pet him "he's mad I won't let him on my desk" make room on your desk for him. I am your cat's defense lawyer and the cat is always innocent on the grounds of them being A Little Kitty Cat.

everyone needs to grow the fuck up and start playing pretend with toys

reblog if your url represents who you really are