Sometimes I think i’m getting better but then suddenly it’s 3 am and i’m laying in my bed with an ache in my chest and itchy wrists wondering if I ever was better in the first place.

I’ve let myself get walked on. I’ve let myself be ridiculed. I’ve let myself be treated poorly. All because I was scared to lose those people. I was scared to lose the people that didn’t care that they hurt my feelings and put me down. Isn’t is sad what we put ourselves through for people that wouldn’t do the same for us?

I hate when people say “You don’t need him,“ because they are right I don’t need him, but I want him more than anything and that is infinitely worst.

I stare into nothing, my mind, for once, completely blank. I never thought this would happen to me. To my family. Not my perfect family. Everything is collapsing around me. My whole world ends in that moment. I want to cry but no tears come. I want to scream but I struggle just to breathe. In and out as if that will make this pain go away and my heart stop hurting. It doesn’t. The pain never stops.

there are plenty of days when I want to kiss you until neither of us can think. but sometimes, all I want is to hold your hand and find the way our fingers fit together. sometimes I just want to talk to you when no one’s around to interrupt and every word is meant only for me.

i wish i could tell you. i love you. you’re everything to me. seeing you can turn my whole day around. i don’t need you to feel the same, i just need you to know. what would that change? would you finally understand how much i need you to be there?

I’ve let myself get walked on. I’ve let myself be ridiculed. I’ve let myself be treated poorly. All because I was scared to lose those people. I was scared to lose the people that didn’t care that they hurt my feelings and put me down. Isn’t is sad what we put ourselves through for people that wouldn’t do the same for us?

Let’s get drunk and tell each other everything we’re too afraid to say sober

Just remember that the things you put into your head are there forever, he said. You might want to think about that. You forget some things, don’t you? Yes. You forget what you want to remember and you remember what you want to forget.