a kind of magic

i got one of those self cleaning litter boxes a few months ago and while Yoohoo is pretty good at using it he does NOT like the sound the poop rake makes when it moves. now the thing about this litterbox is that it can detect movement and won’t activate itself until about ten minutes after the cat has vacated it. yoohoo has apparently figured out that if he makes a huge vaguely cat sized pile of litter right in the middle he can fool the litterbox into thinking it is still occupied and the poop rake will never activate. this is the third time i have had to destroy his carefully constructed poop decoy and i would officially like to trade in my cat for an otherwise identical but noticeably stupider one, incapable of pulling these ferris beuller shenanigans on me each morning

I need a girl👸🏼 who's a: Lady in the streets 👠 Freak in the sheets 😈 Cory in the house 👦🏾

i seriously need every white dude with power to have this type of energy. 

Prep the white woman that looks genuinely disturbed

Love this man

gays are too much. i hate us

this reporter had absolutely no clue how to respond to any of that 😂

fjdjshdkjdjfsk

i always watch this like five times whenever it comes back around

she knocked that smug look off my face but luckily i was wearing a second, smaller smug look underneath

ladies don’t forget to fill up your water bottle and put it in the fridge before you go to bed tonight so you can have a drink as soon as you wake up tomorrow. men you can die i guess

last night I was just minding my business and this nasty ass bug landed on my arm and I kept trying to shake it off (Taylor Swift™ No copyright infringement intended. Property of TAS LLC Management 2014©) but it wouldn’t get off

whats a gender neutral word you could use for your spouse? wusband?? hife?? wifesband?!?!?

i may be stupid

does anybody know how long the sauces keep in the fridge if u wanna make them ahead