Anal0g

Can’t wait to not sleep at all on September 11th

i know ur from the uk(?) but reading this as an american is really really funny

why 😭 it’s about twenty one pilots???? Their new album is out sep 12th????

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

I HATE CHEMISTRY. THE THINGS ARE ALWAYS DOING THINGS. STOP DOING THAT.

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

dino saurs were not scary monsters they were mamas with eggs and when they drank water they were like fuckk yessss waterrrr

knowing that the past tense of "hang" is "hanged" when it's a method of execution can be very entertaining because you'll be watching a horror movie and someone goes "local legend says a woman was hung in these woods" and you're like "👀 good for her I guess"

*sighs* we sent four astronauts up and four came back huh

Were you expecting more?

five was the bare minimum for me

oh well. there's still the moon ghosts

“what radicalized you” bro EMPATHY

"what radicalized you" well in kindergarten they told me to share things and be nice to people.

Absolutely delighted by the reblog to likes ratio on this

You can smoke pretzel sticks. You won’t get high or anything, but you’ll get a lot of phone numbers from beautiful women. 

Cave divers are our bravest, most useless soldiers

But without cave divers, who would rescue all the stuck cave divers?

Every cave dive rescue operation involves a second, even more stuck cave diver.

the club moss I got for my terrarium is dying, despite being lovingly packed into organic soil with oven-fried leaf litter and bioactive springtails and isopods, and meanwhile in my fridge my fuck ass onions are sending out bright green shoots as happy as could be in their cold dark box of fucking nothing