hehehe piss

So, Simon is now on board the Hail Mary and the computer won’t respond to him because he was never a part of the original crew. So now every time he needs to use the bathroom he has to get Grace to call the toilet for him. Simon hates it because he doesn’t like to bother Grace when he working.

Like, Simon is so full he has both hands pressed between his legs and he’s rocking back and forth, grinding his teeth and whimpering under his breath. But Grace is doing his daily rounds, checking on the Taumoeba and Simon KNOWS how important it is, so he just keeps quiet.

The concept for this would go CRAZY.

One designated pisser for an entire room. Everyone sends their piss to one person who has to RACE to the toilet to get there in time.

Someone interested in doing a hold but doesn't want to wait starts accepting every piss request they can get until they're twisted up and biting their lip and stifling their whines because it hit all at once and feels so damn good.

Accepting an emergency piss request from someone about to wet themselves so now you're completely exploding because the amount you agreed to take is incredibly large.

Thinking about a wizard girl sitting in the back corner of a popular tavern with a little magical device in her pocket that pings whenever she gets a request. She doesn't even think before she accepts. She feels a small hum, and suddenly, her bladder begins to fill up. Most people wait until they're hovered over a privy or a bucket to accept, but the challenge is all part of the fun for her.

Instead, she bites her lip as she feels the tingle branching up from her bladder, gripping the table and wrapping her legs around each other. She squirms in the shadows, holding back little pleasured moans. She enjoys the feeling, breathing quickening.

She watches the Privy line, a shifting bard girl stepping side to side uncomfortably. She reaches for a little device, and moments later, she little gem in her pocket pings. She accepts. The bard looks noticeably relieved, stopping her dancing. The wizard holds back another moan, her whole body throbbing. Her bladder is achingly full, grinding into her own heel. Knuckles white on the edge of the table. She can't help but whimper, head rolling back.

Gods, she has to piss. It's the most full she's ever been. Covering her mouth, she slides out the back door of the tavern and into the alley where nobody can see her. Pushing up her robes behind some crates and barrels, leaving herself exposed to the cool night air. She's humping the air against nothing, one hand pressed against the fullness of her bladder, spiking that desperation past anything she's ever felt before.

She lets out a filthy moan as she releases everything inside of her, everything that filled her up only within 10 minutes alone. The puddle she makes it hot and clear, hydrated to the hells and back, and she holds her robes away from the mess as the stream damn near explodes out of her, chest heaving as she pants and catches her breath.

She pees for so long, she's almost limp by the end of it, a delighted smile across her face as she feels so blissfully empty.

He's held out well, you think. Two hours in public with a remote-control vibrator in his ass and he hasn't broken yet.

if you are being pissed on

very very minimal safety risks here

close those eyes baby! the second piss is anywhere near the face— close your eyes. that shit stings. have you ever had cum in your eye? it’s like that, but way harder to wipe off.

try not to do this with any fresh piercings, new tattoos, open wounds, or anything else that’s begging to get infected

if you are ingesting urine

what medications is your partner on? can they be passed through urine? (most likely they can be— in very trace amounts. but those trace amounts can be important to be aware of depending on your situation)

has your partner recently ingested something (medication, food, etc) that you are allergic to? or something that interacts with your meds? if they have, is it worth that risk?

has your partner recently taken any drugs? can they be passed through urine? (most likely they can be— in very trace amounts. those trace amounts may or may not be enough to cause a reaction, and may or may not be enough to fail a drug test <- has happened to people!)

on one non-safety note… you’re probably not going to love the taste of piss. regardless. you might! but most do not. it’s piss. really well hydrated piss can be very enjoyable (I like it a lot!), really dehydrated piss might make you puke. diet changes the taste— just like cum, but more directly. coffee, asparagus, lots of meat… all things that can make it particularly strong (and some people love that! some people do that on purpose! but I would maybe not… start there). lots of juice + lots and lots of water can make it very mild. medications and supplements can change the taste. lots of people anecdotally like the way beer or diet soda makes it taste. first piss of the day is considerably stronger and more unpleasant than any other time.

if you are doing internal pissing (anal)

if you are getting it straight from the tap (penis or funneled in): minimal to no risk. pee is not sterile! urine is not sterile. but you’re not gonna run into a ton of issues here. the real concern is if you’re dealing with abnormal abrasions, likely from particularly rough anal sex, you’re going to be more at risk for infection. keep an eye on it, take a shower, etc. you’re probably all good.

if you are getting a larger volume than one normal pee (bottle, etc, any amount of built-up fluid from multiple pees): this is less a safety risk and more just a heads up. chances are this will kind of accidentally enema you. and then you will shit. pretty immediately. if you’ve done a ton of anal prep (including enema) beforehand, you’re likely going to be fine.

if you are doing internal pissing (vaginal)

now we’re looking at pH balances. urine is more basic than the natural flora of a vaginal ecosystem, which can cause problems.

if you are prone to UTIs, yeast infections, or bacterial vaginosis, you should probably prepare for that. if that’s the risk you’d like to take, that’s your choice! but if your pH balance is delicate, piss is absolutely going to disrupt it.

even if you’re not prone, the risk for all of the above is there!

PEE. AFTER. BEING. PEED IN. please 😚 you’ll save yourself so much trouble. and I mean pee, don’t just evacuate the foreign piss. if you’re not already peeing after sex in general… start now!

if you’re doing any kind of holding:

any long-term holding (and I mean, like, having holding your pee for long periods of time become a part of your life for years) can result in slight to moderate incontinence (leaking) and weakened pelvic floor muscles. make sure you’re doing pelvic floor exercises! it’s best to sometimes give yourself an extended break from a holding kink, but I won’t tell you what to do.

there’s no real One Answer for “how long is it okay to hold at one time?”, but it’s better to do high hydration/stronger desperation/shorter hold than it is to do low hydration/less need to pee/longer hold, for hydration purposes. the longer you hold, the more you are at risk for UTIs and potentially bladder infections (cystitis, a kind of UTI). bladder infections have a chance of becoming kidney infections. no, there’s no One Set Time, but no, it’s not safe to hold all day either. listen to your body as best you can.

find your limits and set them. I’m prone to UTIs (and have a weak bladder), so I have different levels of “okay to hold”. I have found the maximum amount of water and its correlating hold times that work for me— and hold time is never over an hour. that’s my risk profile.

if you’re wetting

sitting in your wet mess can be fun and humiliating, but can also cause rashes. I literally cannot speak to diaper instances, I have no experience there, but most fabrics will start to be uncomfortable while wet after a while, and sitting in your piss can cause chafing, rashes, skin irritation… and again, sitting in pissed in underwear (or garments close to the genitalia) can cause UTIs + yeast infections, especially in vulvas.