How Can You Eat That Crap?

Visiting Family in Montpellier, Languedoc Days 0.5 and 1 - Fragmented Dreams of Octopus Pie Travelling to France yesterday evening was really successful. The flight ran smoothly although I was a bit pissed off that the WH Smiths in Leeds Bradford Airport stocked neither the Fortean Times nor Tabletop Gaming and the beer at the bar tasted a bit shit. On the plane we ended up sat next to a lovely French lady from Montpellier who Jules spent a bit of time talking to about the latest Bill Bryson book and no one threatened to murder me over my über cough so all was good. Arriving at Montpellier, Hilary met us outside the airport and the oppressive heat hit us immediately (which is currently rocking at around 38°). We arrived back at her house and said our hellos before sitting down to a meal which involved a lovely goats cheese and tomato puff pastry crown with goose gizzard salad followed by an apricot tart. We also opened some Munster cheese, which was surprisingly mellow compared to its savage smell. The night ended with a bit of a bang as I realised that I'd forgotten to pack my medication and went into a total panic. Anyway, I spent the night having coughing fits and mild panic attacks but did manage to read half a book on escaping a worker camp in North Korea. It was during my broken sleep that my mind started to focus on the tielle, a Sétoise octopus pie which I love and crave. Jules had shut the shutters in the bedroom so the room was in complete darkness and this made me doubt my phone clock showing 10:30. Alas, it was the truth and I'd slept in! Awakening over a period of an hour, I'd come around and exhaled enough mucus (sorry!) so that I could face the day. I explained the ordeal of the medication to the rest of the family and Hilary made a doctors appointment which seemed really promising though thoroughly terrifying as my French language skills are particularly crap. For lunch we had (surprise, surprise) some tielles with a heritage tomato salad. Now, tielles (we've finally got to the point of this post after four paragraphs!!!!) are the epitome of southern French cuisine for me as they practically emit the sun through rays of fishy, tangy and ever so slightly spicy flavours. Through mouthfuls of pie, I extolled their amazing way of forcing me to reminisce my first experience of seafood spaghetti (Angelo's in Preston, if I remember correctly) which probably didn't taste anything like a tielle but I imagine that it did. A tielle is a pie from the port of Sète which has bright orange pasty due to the ruddy filling of octopus and tomato. Its origins are Italian but it has a distinctively French taste and, if you couldn't work out, I absolutely love it. People tend to baulk at the very thought of eating octopus or squid and statements regarding the 'rubbery' texture it has are accompanied by looks of disgust. I find that the taste of cephalopods (check me out!) is really mild and it meets the cheesy description of tasting like the sea. They can be rubbery and, especially squid, should be cooked for a very short or very long time. The meat in a tielle tends to be finely chopped so you miss out on the rubbery element and the taste is carried through the tomato sauce. We also had some excellent, gooey Saint-Marcellin cheese with some delicious plums and cherries which set me up well for the day ahead but then I ended up reading the North Korea book on the couch before falling asleep. I was later told that the wine was removed from the table before I sat down for lunch as no one wanted me to turn up to the doctors smelling of alcohol. The doctors visit was fine but a rather strange experience as I sat for the most part while two French ladies discussed my health. I was occasionally asked for a bit of information but, mainly, I stared around the room until I was asked to do something. Hilary was fab and recounted everything I told her about my health and the doctor was friendly so I ended up leaving the pharmacy afterwards with my much needed meds plus a whole arsenal of throat pharmaceuticals. We got back and Hilary had to take the dog to the vets so I played a game of Bohnanza with Jules and ate a pretty tasty pain aux chocolat et amandes as we were planning on heading to a bar that I'd found on TripAdvisor. The bar, Les Berthom, didn't disappoint as we got there at happy hour and that meant we could drink pints of Belgium beer for under 5€! I ended up with a Houblon Chouffe (9% Belguim IPA) and an organic version of Saison Dupont. Happy as a pig in poo! For dinner, Hilary had made some pork in mustard and some roasted tomatoes with a serious amount of garlic which we had with some lemon polenta and salad. I love her cooking and, although she thought that the pork had lost its flavour due to advanced cooking, I really enjoyed the meal. We finished with some watermelon and some Gorgonzola Torta. The first proper day of the holiday was excellent and reasonably chilled while also being productive with the medical visits! We had some lovely home cooked food, cracking beer and managed to not die of heat exhaustion!

It's that time in my life again when I prepare to jet over to Montpellier and spend the next week pondering what I am going to eat while I am there! Andouille, aligot, tellines and the words 'a volonte', I super can't wait!! Anyway, as per usual (cue groans), I'm going to keep a bit of a blog and resuscitate poor, old HowCanYouEatThatCrap so I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions of things that I should seek out and eat/drink this year. I can refuse no food!!!

I've decided to try doing my reviews as videos rather than text so this is a bit of an experiment. Let me know what you think and hopefully the quality will improve as I get used to it.

Golden Wonder King Pot Noodle Chicken and Mushroom Flavour - United Kingdom Happy New Year! It's the end of 2015 and I need to send my apologies for being so elusive. I've had a few struggles and backwards steps over the last few months and, while its been lovely to see new followers appearing on HCYETC, I've not posted for what seems like ages. I've had many reviews half written, usually with similar introductory paragraphs apologising for my elusiveness (not unlike this one) but I've never felt in the right frame of mind to submit them. Anyway, a couple of days I saw something that took me back to my childhood. I'm not talking about some locket that was owned by my mother, an old song that we used to sing as children, not even photographs of happier times. Nope, I found a chicken and mushroom Pot Noodle in the back of a cupboard. Sadly, this snack was not mine and, as I'm not a food thief (most of the time), I rushed to the shop to get my own tasty treat. Many people will not have heard of Pot Noodles but the very mention of one has the power to wobble a grown man's lip, send a chill down as spine of an otherwise emotionless adult and send wrinkled minds back to times of youthfulness and abandon. For me, a simple chicken and mushroom Pot Noodle reminds me of teatimes (evening meals) where my mum would say, "Sod it, you're having Pot Noodles for tea" which would instantly send us into rapture. The families aroma is like my hand is being held by someone with worldly knowledge, a comfort blanket being thrown over me or the gentle words 'everything is going to be okay' being whispered in my ear. Of course, there is more than the slight stench of pisstakery in my tone but there is definitely some magic held within the walls of that white and green cup. Mrs HCYETC, a lady who is careful about what she eats and ever-so-slightly frowns upon my constant seeking of new convenience foods, couldn't help but mention how the smell reminded her of childhood meal times and instantly started waxing lyrical about past holidays during which they would be given them as treats. God, she even mentioned feeding them to horses and dipping bread in the sauce left at the bottom of an empty cup, which is idiotic because I hate horses and everyone knows that you drink the remaining sauce like a cup of warm soup. Don't even get started on those strange types who preferred beef and tomato flavour!! 'B&Ts', which I never referred to them as and have just made up now, shambled around like zombies extolling the virtues of the shitty brown cup would pick fights us of a gentler kind and school football matches would be divided up by preference of noodle, making games so much more than just a victory won. Pot Noodles were our lifeblood and our veins pumped sauce (and sometimes bits of powder and partially hydrated kernels of sweetcorn). I hear you saying, "Si, this is going from weird to just, plain bullshit! Tell us about the damn noodles!!!". So I will. First up, I'd like to get something out of the way: these noodles are crap! Wait, what? Yup, there's very little of merit here. The noodles are mostly devoid of any chewy texture and crumble to mush as you bite down on them. They've obviously been produced by people with little interest in making an authentic article. The included veg (mushroom pieces, sweetcorn and, I think, chives) are very temperamental in the hydration process and the suggested cooking time of four minutes should be taken with a pinch of salt, unless you like corn kernels glued to your teeth. Inconsistency also reigns with the sauce/soup which can end up as a thick dose of flavour that adheres to the noodles or form an insipid pool that lurks at the bottom of the cup. So why the schmaltzy love for these abominations of noodle-kind? Because (sorry, grammar fiends) it all goes back to the comfort aspect. Finding pockets of powder in an otherwise cooked snack is incredibly annoying, as is finding tough sweetcorn after you've left the pot for double the suggested cooking time and the countless times that I've stared at a watery mess of tasteless pasta while crying, "I only poured water up to the fill level!!!!" will continue to haunt my dreams but I wouldn't have them any other way. Noodles: 2/10 Sauce: 3/10 Garnish: 3/10 Overall: 3/10* *Add 15 to any of the given scores if you loved them as a child. However... Open letter to Golden Wonder: You have provided me with some wonderful experiences which have shaped me into the man I am now. Your adverts have given me minutes of joy and I still find myself shouting 'Belly's gonna get you' while grabbing my exposed stomach fat to highly amusing groups adults. Pot Noodles kickstarted my lifelong love of noodle snacks and a return to my snack foods roots still energises my mealtimes, as outlined in my above review. I've raised the banner against those tastebudless freaks who still think that SuperNoodles are actually any good, those arty-farty types who think that Kabuto noodles are anything other than watery crap and my cousin who once tried to tell me that Itsu noodles were the best thing since sliced bread, and I will continue to do so. I've long since forgiven you for the ill-fated Pot Mash and Posh Noodle. However, there are things that you have done which have severely pissed me off and can not go unnoticed. Firstly, what have you done with the TVP?? That was the stuff that convinced you that you were eating bits of chicken until you were old enough to read and understand the ingredients. It also provided protein! This, however, pales in comparison to what I believe is your worst decision so far: the removal of the Nice 'n Spicy flavour from your product catalogue. I mean, what the hell, GW??!? You only have to look on the Internet to see what a fan base this flavour had. If Cadburys can bring back the Wispa, then you can make this happen. You could could be the kings of revival!! By opening those doors, the sky is the limit. Terry's Pyramint, Tab Clear, Coconut Boost??! Grab the reins and lead us into food glory. Your loyal servant Si aka HCYETC

Koka Spicy Stir Fried Noodles - Singapore Well, I said that I would do a special review of one of my top varieties of noodles seen as HCYETC is now 1 year old and I have well over 100 followers. And here it is... Babadabababadadum!!!!!! You thought I'm was going to pick something weird, unique, thought-provoking, maybe a conversation piece but these look crap! The brown theme of the packaging gives them a dull, 70s England kind of vibe that doesn't exactly stimulate the tastebuds or delight the eyes so why the hell am I reviewing them??!? Because they taste awesome! They are also one of the greatest surprises of my noodling life so far. I buy them from a super cheap shop that many people would not admit to using and the shop doesn't do itself any favours because it looks a bit run down inside but it provides a wealth of tat that teachers use as bribery and children don't acknowledge as tat. They also sell these noodles for around 35p (less than 20 cents). The packet contains two sachets, a powder and an oil, and are made by adding the sachets to the cooked noodles, a la mi goreng. The flavour is unlike any other noodles I've tried as they emulate the taste of fried noodles with a distinct smokiness. They lack the sweetness of their Indonesian counterparts but also have a more pronounced garlic taste with a spicy heat. The chilli hit is also quite strange as it is really peppery and creeps up on you but once it has you it doesn't let up. They're not ferocious but something I would like to being attacked by a domestic cat; a stinging wound delivered in a stealth-like manner. The noodle quality is incredibly average but they hold together with a little bit of chew to prevent them from being mushy. The sauce adheres to them well and so they do their job with little to no wow factor. So, overall, what we have here is a good all-rounder; cheap, spicy, dry-style noodles that are the only variety to make me exclaim, "Holy shit, these are actually good!". Sure, the noodles are a bit naff but I stick by my philosophy that there's a lot to be said for a good broth/sauce/dip. Also, shouldn't one of my favourites get 10/10? Sadly not. There is so much more going on than quality here and people may think I'm having a laugh or that these ratings are bullshit but, in the same way that I may get as much pleasure from a packet of awesome crisps as I would from a Michelin starred meal, sometimes the surprise or experience is strong enough to raise something to a higher level. In summary: get a packet and you will feel like you are getting a hell of a lot of flavour for bugger-all money! Noodles - 5/10 Sauce - 8/10 Overall - 7/10

Knorr Nudle Gulasznikoff - Poland I have an obsessive personality but I'm sure that doesn't surprise you, coming from a guy who makes reviewing noodles one of his hobbies. We've got an awesome Polish delicatessen in town which I love going to and last time saw a variety called Gulasznikoff (complete with crosshairs). I had to try them!! Gulasz (or goulash) is a major deal in the realms of Polish instant noodles and are usually marked with fire and other symbol of aggressive spiciness but these take the biscuit!! Upon opening the only powder sachet I'm hit with a strong aroma of caraway but that changes to beefiness when the hot water hits it. It's the best smelling Polish variety I've had so far and it's making my mouth water. The noodles are going to be crap quality, I know that, but there a lot to be said for a good broth! The broth delivers!! It's salty but has lots of flavour; strong caraway, beef, a tomato tang and a hint of heat. The caraway definitely reigns but it's definitely not one dimensional. The broth also has a slight thickness to it which rises it further about the ranks of the watery blandness of stereotypical European noodles varieties. The noodles are pretty rubbish but they do their job fine and their mushiness doesn't sully the party. I'm really impressed with these noodles and will definitely be getting them again. There's an itchy trigger finger pointed at your tastebuds, give them a go or there's going to be a bloodbath! Noodles - 3/10 Broth - 8/10 Overall - 7/10

Hey! I'm sorry I've been so elusive for the last month, I've started a new job teaching music (I think I've already mentioned it) and finding that I'm having less time to blog and review. I've still got a film review to submit and trying to keep my head and brain well above water with my job. Anyhoo, yesterday a alert popped up on my phone saying that HCYETC is one year old. I seriously can't believe that this blog has been active (at times, barely) for that amount of time. My number of followers is somewhere around the 110 mark and increasing every week. For that I want to send out a massive, ma-hooooo-sive thanks to each and every one of you for your like, reblogs and kind words. I've been doing a bit of writing as I've eaten on the past few week so I will get those posted ASAP. Also, I nipped to the super-cheap shop in town that strangely sells one of my favourite types of noodles so I bought some and will review them this weekend. So this was a short message but wanted to let you know that I'm still alive and hungry. HCYETC (Si) X

Mama Kimchi flavour - Thailand Riddle me this. What the hell do instant noodle manufacturers in Thailand know about kimchi?!? The answer is I'm really not sure but we'll find out over the course of a few paragraphs! Things being done by people who don't usually do them is a bit of a worry to me. You might think this is over the top but you only have to look at instant noodles produced in or the UK market to realise how this worry/fear has been founded. Take a Chow Mein flavoured Pot Noodle for example, the producer fails to notice the delicious interplay of soy and stock in your standard chow mein and just goes heavy on the soy and the finish dish ends up just tasting of salt. And that's a good example because most, as we found out in a previous review, practically skip the seasoning altogether and end up incredibly bland. I've had a packet of Tiger Tiger duck flavoured noodles in the drawer for about 2 years, untouched. Why? Because I know they are going to taste rubbish!!! Anyway, I slightly digress... This totally distrust of the UK snack food market has had an overall effect on my thoughts of people doing things they wouldn't usually do and now I'm about to taste some Thai noodles flavoured with the much loved South Korean condiment. Change my jaded ways, Mama!! The packet contains a block of noodles which are more like ramyun than the standard seasoned Mama ones. There also a sachet of spring onion, cabbage and mushroom bits, a soup base and some chilli powder. It all gets boiled together for 4 mins and then job's a good 'un! The noodles have a nice texture which is a little bit chewy and more satisfying than the standard thin ones. They also carry the broth well. The veggies rehydrate well and the mushrooms have a good mouthfeel. The broth is what it all comes down to and it's good stuff!! It's full of garlicky, tangy, beefy flavour and, while not as spicy as Korean varieties tend to be, it has a nice bit of heat to it. Scratch that, it's getting spicier!! Well, they were much better than I expected and taste extremely similar to the ones produced in South Korea. The broth is a little more condensed and packs a huge amount of flavour. I likes 'em! Thai producers: with your shape shifting food producing skills, you've helped to give me a little more faith in people doing things that they don't usually do. UK manufacturers: you are still excluded from the above statement. Noodles - 7/10 Garnish - 6/10 Broth - 7/10 Overall - 7/10

Itsu Chicken Noodle Pot - United Kingdom I've spent the past few days with some of my friends in Leeds after attending a fun-packed megagame board game session over in Preston. I went to see Sinister 2 at the cinema yesterday and have the intention to do some music recording with my uni pal this afternoon (something we haven't done together for going on 10 years). It's been a busy time but I've had a great weekend and that was made all the better seeing that I have 100 FOLLOWERS!!!!1!!! I saw this big ol' pot of noodles in a Sainsburys Local yesterday and instantly heard the voice of my cousin in my head (voice not cousin) saying, "Itsu noodles are my favourite" so I decided that I should see how they hold up. It's a massive pot, huge! Inside are some fresh udon noodles, a vegetable sachet which includes courgette (zucchini) and tomatoes amongst random green stuff and a broth sachet which contains a brown paste. This is all thrown into the pot, filled with water to the line and allowed to fester for three minutes. There is also the coolest looking spork I've ever seen included in a noodle pot. Look at it!!! It's a thing of beauty!!! I feel like Rene Belloq when he opens the ark of the covenant at the end of Raiders!! I'll get the bad news out of the way first... When are British noodle producers going to realise that you have to give in and put some sodium in your broth??!? Sure it has a nice kick of chilli and a fresh, tangy tomato element but it needs some seasoning otherwise you are underselling yourself with a bordering on bland, wet, watery broth. STOP IT!!! The good news is that the vegetables are excellent and add a great textural change from the thick udon noodles, which are also pretty good quality. I'm not a massive fan of udon noodles in broth but they are filling and good in winter. The courgette have a lovely, crunchy texture that's not unlike gherkins (dill pickles) and there's lots of slices. The broth has won me over a little more as I've eaten my way through the pot; I can tell it's made with good quality ingredients and I still stand by that it needs a bit more salt to bring out the flavours. Overall, much better than a lot of the UK made instant noodles but then, frankly, the competition is mostly dreadful! I love that Itsu obviously take a lot of pride in their product and it is certainly unlike anything else on the market. Get some salt in there (the last time I mention salt in this review, promise) and it could be a force to be reckoned with. Rachel, it's not bad at all! X Broth - 6/10 Noodles - 6/10 Garnish - 7.5/10 Overall 7/10

I just wanted to leave a quick note to say that I wasn't dead or anything and then realised that I now have exactly 100 followers!! When did that happen?!? I'm sorry for the lack of posts since earlier this month, I've been super busy getting caught up with jobs around the house, film reviews, and seeing family and friends since getting back from Canada. I intend to finish my blog of the Canada trip as most days have been written up so I will get them posted as soon as possible. I've got another two weeks holiday before I start my new job as a school music teacher and have a second attempt at completing my first year of teaching without further mental breakdowns and therefore have no excuse for not posting. Mrs HCYETC has been away for the last week which has given me free reign over the contents of the fridge and I've made friends with a butcher who supplies some of the more obscure cuts of meat and offal so, if you're interested, I can do a bit of writing about the cooking I've been doing. We will see. Well, as I said, this is a quick note and I just wanted to say how bowled over I am. I remember the excitement of getting my first follower when I originally started this blog and I never imagined it would end up like this. So thanks to you all (even the strange porno followers I seem to have - this is a place of equality!!) you are all incredibly awesome. HCYETC

Travelling with HCYETC: The first big drive - Montreal to Hartland I slept better last night and as a result we woke up later than we had planned to, slightly regretting the late night drinks at Manitoba. Breakfast at the University B&B offered me a last chance to eat a bagel from the Fairmount bakery which, after eating a strange multigrain/quinoa health-focused but still sweet cereal, I smothered in cream cheese and devoured. People from Montreal are right, the bagels aren't like New York bagels; they're slightly sweet, chewy but not quite as dense and the coating of sesame seeds leads them an extra dimension. They're delicious! After finishing our respective cups of tea and coffee, Mrs HCYETC and I finished packing and set off on our 400km journey to Hartland, New Brunswick. Our drive moved from large spaces with nothing to see to large spaces with nothing to see but trees and the occasional farm. Moose warning signs piqued our interest but the wood gave up nothing moose-like. We stopped at Tim Hortens approximately 300km into our journey and this experience made me realise that I needed to apologise to Tim, or Mr Horten as I should call him. Being a creature of habit I decided to order the Crispy Chicken Sandwich with Jalapeño jack cheese again and what arrived was a completely sandwich to the one I ate at Niagara Falls. I'd asked for the spicy chicken and it was indeed spicy and, from the red patches on the coating, appeared to have been rolled in chilli powder. It had a good kick to it, more so than I would expect from a fast food restaurant. The chipotle mayonnaise was distinctly tangy and maintained the heat of the chicken. The cheese sort of mingled and got lost with the rest of the flavours but the creamy texture it offered as it melted gave the sandwich a nice richness. Was it the best sandwich ever? Nope. Was the chicken good quality? No, I've had better quality frozen breaded chicken but it was much better than the NF example which I'm not convinced was the same product. Sorry, Mr Horten. I also ordered the equally new Creamy Chocolate Chill which Mrs HCYETC said tasted like the drinking chocolate sprinkled ice cream desert that her mum used to rustle up as a treat. It was really chocolatey and I really enjoyed it, apart from the brain freeze it delivered. We arrived in Hartland around 7pm as we had drove through a time zone during the day. Our accommodation looked beautiful and gave a good taste of rural Canada as there was crops growing and a maple syrup evaporator on the property. Lawrence recommended a restaurant called Jeremiah's which was a walk into the main town of Hartland. Hartland's claim to fame is that it is the home to the longest covered bridge (a record breaking 1,200 foot long) and the surrounded area is beautiful. At Jeremiah's we quickly ordered two pints of Alpine lager which was fairly crap beer but the frosted glass made it all the better. Then I broke one of my rules, I ordered lobster outside of the Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia provinces. The lobster club was recommended by the lady serving us so I ordered it and it was good! I'm not sure how fresh the lobster was but, with bacon, mayonnaise, lettuce and tomato on homemade rosemary focaccia, it made for a awesome sandwich and the accompanying fries were full of spudy flavour. My wonderful wife ordered a green salad with cheese and helped me through the mound of fries. I forced myself to have a creme brûlée for desert and it was also very good. The food at Jeremiah's was so much better than the menu would have you believe. So many restaurants oversell their food, their menus filled with bullshit termed, over-egged descriptions that can not possibly deliver to tastebuds the mishmash of components that they promise. Jeremiah's menu sounds boring on paper but I wish I had more time to discover the amazing secrets I'm sure that it hides. We woke up later than expected again and went downstairs to the pancakes we had ordered for breakfast. The huge, fluffy pancakes were obviously a labour of love for Doris as she knew how good they were and covered in their homemade maple syrup they were sublime. They're dense and hearty but you can't stop eating them. The bacon that I had on my plate was reasonably thick cut, salty and crispy and went really well with the sweetness of the maple soaked, eggy pancakes. Another fantastic Canadian breakfast that makes me worry about how lacklustre breakfasts will be when the holiday is over. On the way out of Hartland we stopped at the other famous landmark, The Covered Bridge Chip Company. Sadly, the factory was actually closed so we couldn't claim our free sample of still warm kettle chips and but the gift shop was still open. We walked around the displays in the empty factory and then went to the gift shop where we bought a large bag of limited edition Sloppy Joe flavoured chips. Then I spied one of my favourite American things. Not pretzels, Flying Dog K9 craft beer, Pappy Van Winkle Family Reserve bourbon or Lucky Strike filterless cigarettes. Saltwater taffy!! I crammed as many flavours as politely possible into the small option bag and, boy, did I get my money's worth. It also turns out that Mrs HCYETC doesn't like the taffy so all the more for me! Onwards to Rusticoville, PEI and the promise of the best lobster suppers that money can buy!

Travelling with HCYETC: Restaurant Manitoba, Montreal Tonight has been filled with atmosphere, from the insane lightning storms over Montreal to the quality of company and food that we have experienced. Let's get this straight; I was pissed off that I couldn't get a table at Joe Beef, I was pissed off that there wasn't any vegetarian at Pied de Cochon (I am not going to argue with you, staunch meateaters and friends of PdC) and I was pissed off that I had run out of meal ideas until 12 o'clock last night. I'm lucky though because my dearly beloved and I came up trumps and thus had an amazing meal. We discussed, on the way back to our B&B how the service, atmosphere and company directly impacts of the quality of the meal but this blog isn't called How Can You Discuss That Crap? so let's talk about the food. Restaurant Manitoba is located on the outskirts of the Mile End district of Montreal and is about an hours walk from the B&B. It doesn't look any different to a run-of-the-mill bistro by appearances but one glance of the menu and you know you are in strange territory. We opted to sit outside even thought one of the servers tried to talk us out of it because the spectacular storm and the expectation of rain but we stuck to our wishes and ended up sat next to Alec and Mandy, a lovely couple from Halifax, NS (of all places!). After ordering a couple of beers, including an abbaye beer from Oka, QC, I chose to start with three Daisy Lily oysters from PEI, followed by gravlax of deer heart with cauliflower purée and corn and a main course of brûléed bone marrow with toast. The oysters were just how I like them; small, a little briny with a delicate texture and they were served with the classic shallot vinegar. I am really looking forward to being around some awesome oysters when we get to Prince Edward Island!! The deer heart was also excellent and had a taste and texture that was not dissimilar to carpaccio or good quality bresaola. The corn and cauliflower provides a sweeter element to the dish and went well with the slight crunch of the sunflower seeds. The only element that fell a little flat was the tea oil as neither Mandy or I could detect it against the assertive flavours on the plate. The bone marrow was a sight to behold and is not recommended for people who don't like trying to strip every last bit of food off a bone or a carcass. The marrow has a rich, beefy hit with a hint of smoke and some sweetness from the brûlée and was perfect for spooning onto the chewy bread. The bones were accompanied by some lovely, strong tasting green leaves, foraged elderberries and pickled maitake mushrooms which had a earthy taste which almost climbed into the sinuses. It was a wonderful dish which, bizarrely, managed to stay quite light. We both decided to have a desert and the pine scented pannacotta was a great decision. The sweet crunch of the crumble worked excellently with the tartness of the berries which prevented the overall desert from becoming too rich. Well, if you hadn't guessed, I loved the meal at Restaurant Manitoba. The use of locally foraged foods in cooking is not a new concept but few places can claim to be this spot on!

Travelling with HCYETC: Montreal Pool Room I'm writing while sat at a table in the the Montreal institution that is Montreal Pool Room. The joke is that you can't play pool here but that's where the joke ends. This place is renowned for their all-dressed steame hotdogs but I've read that they also do a mean poutine. It's true! It's all true!! I don't know what it is about the hotdogs but the steamed dogs combined with the soft, fluffy buns, tangy slaw, sweet pickle and mustard just works. I was asked how many I want and answered with a confused "one" until and saw them and then ordered another. The poutine has educated me on what the fuss about and why you have to eat it in Quebec. The curds finally provide the required squeak, the gravy is really savoury but not more different to Bisto in all fairness and the fries are nice and crispy. It makes sense and sense tastes awesome!! Don't expect haute cuisine, or a smile from the servers, but this greasy spoon is famous for a reason!

Travelling with HCYETC: Of Montreal Awaking early, I went for a run before we sat down to an amazing breakfast of bacon, eggs, french toast and blackberries. The Canadians really seem to like mixing their sweet foods with their savoury ones and this is most apparent at breakfast time. It was great to get something from the meat group this morning and I was on to a double winner because Gary had forgotten that Mrs HYETC was vegetarian and so I cashed in on his mistake. I had read about the breakfast at Rosemount but I wasn't prepared for the care and pride they took in their preparations. On our way to Montreal, we drove the Thousand Island Parkway and stopped at Upper Canada Village, which is a recreation of a 19th century community and, I though I didn't hold much expectation due to a South Park episode, it was very interesting! For lunch we ate in the village's family restaurant where I ordered a chicken burger with a side of poutine and a can of the awesome Mug Root Beer. It was a really good meal for something served at a tourist attraction and the portion of poutine was huge (which I think was partly an apology as the server asked me which part of Scotland I was from). We met a wonderful man called Dave who drove the tourist train and enjoyed talking about how wonderful we would find PEI and what the best type of ginger ale was. He thanks us for our company and offered us a complimentary ride on his train, which was great. I have him an origami tsuru in an attempt to reciprocate his kindness. Now, I've never mentioned why Mrs HCYETC did all the driving and that simply because she has more experience of driving on the right and I seem to be better at navigating. Today I drove the whole journey and we survived!! We have arrived in Montreal safely after a 200 mile drive across eastern Ontario and made a beeline for Benelux which is bar which I've read about. It didn't disappoint! We had a couple of beers each, including an abbaye beer and an IPA. Our next stop was Schwartz's deli for a smoked meat sandwich. I appeared to be the worst husband on earth to the party of four who we sat next to as I realised there was no veggie options apart from fries, slaw and pickles. What a total dick! Anyway, the sandwich lived up to all the hype and my wonderful wife's eyes glazed over as I tried to describe it using words such as 'transcendental', 'euphoric' and 'best sandwich ever'. And it's true!!! I order the meat medium fatty as recommended by a guy from Toronto and it was sensational. On photo, there's nothing special about it but the texture and taste is something akin to corned beef held together by a fine and fatty web of deliciousness. It's not actually that smokey but it doesn't need anything other than mustard adding to it. On the way home, I redeemed myself by buying my dearly beloved some paneer pakoras from Bombay Mahal. And she used 'best paneer pakora ever' when describing them!! We went back to Benelux for another beer and then went back to the B&B to collapse.

We finished the night in style, eating poutine flavoured Ruffles and Comfort Inn carrot cake while drinking Canada Dry in bed before falling asleep to the sound of the continuing storm.

Travelling with HCYETC: A significantly smaller city with pizzas, pissed Brits and posh breakfasts. Kingston is a bit of an eye-opener after the skyscraping sights of Toronto, the almost-sin cityesque pleasure land of Niagara Falls and the sleepy, pedestrian-unfriendly suburbia of Burlington. Our initial thoughts upon arrival was "is this a city?!" and with its small, wooden detached houses, leafy avenues and neighbourhood churches it is altogether different to our European idea of a city. True fact: Kingston was actually the first capital of Canada but it didn't last long! Our hosts and fellow travellers at the Rosemount Inn are, as standard for the Canadians we have met, chatty, friendly and ever-helpful and instantly make us feel welcome. Walking around town we found a much needed laundrette, an awesome shop with board games AND origami books (=paradise) and a large selection of restaurants, bars and pubs. Our host, Gary, explained that there are more places to eat and drink per capita that anywhere else in Canada so we are in good hands! After a wander, Mrs HCYETC rushes us back based on the promise of cake and tea at 4:00pm and I get to tick another item off the list: butter tart. The tart is incredibly sticky, to the point where the pastry case can put up little resistance, and filling is reminiscent of the toffee sauce that accompanies sticky toffee pudding in the UK. A few submerged raisins finish off a pretty damn delicious cake. Back out for our evening meal, we run to a pub that my astute wife pointed out had a happy hour and have a couple of local beers. After that we decide to go to Wooden Heads for pizzas and another beer. My beer of choice is Nickel Brook Headstock IPA (I'm loving the IPAs at the moment) which, at 7%, is a fairly heady (geddit?) brew with a hefty hop kick. I also opted for a shrimp, scallop, anchovy and chilli pizza which was really very good! It was a little light on scallop slices but full of briny goodness and while seafood pizzas sometimes descend into sloppiness the base of this one held good! I'd heard mixed reviews about Wooden Heads but we both throughly enjoyed our meal. Later on we headed further into the city but there was little to report other than a particular crap pint of Keith Alexander IPA which was unlike any IPA I had had before (read: it was a lager!).

Travelling with HCYETC: A significantly smaller city with pizzas, pissed Brits and posh breakfasts. Kingston is a bit of an eye-opener after the skyscraping sights of Toronto, the almost-sin cityesque pleasure land of Niagara Falls and the sleepy, pedestrian-unfriendly suburbia of Burlington. Our initial thoughts upon arrival was "is this a city?!" and with its small, wooden detached houses, leafy avenues and neighbourhood churches it is altogether different to our European idea of a city. True fact: Kingston was actually the first capital of Canada but it didn't last long! Our hosts and fellow travellers at the Rosemount Inn are, as standard for the Canadians we have met, chatty, friendly and ever-helpful and instantly make us feel welcome. Walking around town we found a much needed laundrette, an awesome shop with board games AND origami books (=paradise) and a large selection of restaurants, bars and pubs. Our host, Gary, explained that there are more places to eat and drink per capita that anywhere else in Canada so we are in good hands! After a wander, Mrs HCYETC rushes us back based on the promise of cake and tea at 4:00pm and I get to tick another item off the list: butter tart. The tart is incredibly sticky, to the point where the pastry case can put up little resistance, and filling is reminiscent of the toffee sauce that accompanies sticky toffee pudding in the UK. A few submerged raisins finish off a pretty damn delicious cake. Back out for our evening meal, we run to a pub that my astute wife pointed out had a happy hour and have a couple of local beers. After that we decide to go to Wooden Heads for pizzas and another beer. My beer of choice is Nickel Brook Headstock IPA (I'm loving the IPAs at the moment) which, at 7%, is a fairly heady (geddit?) brew with a hefty hop kick. I also opted for a shrimp, scallop, anchovy and chilli pizza which was really very good! It was a little light on scallop slices but full of briny goodness and while seafood pizzas sometimes descend into sloppiness the base of this one held good! I'd heard mixed reviews about Wooden Heads but we both throughly enjoyed our meal. Later on we headed further into the city but there was little to report other than a particular crap pint of Keith Alexander IPA which was unlike any IPA I had had before (read: it was a lager!).