how I feel

All I do is clean up shit; changing sheets, washing and hanging them out to dry every single day; lifting dead weight; cooking; serving food; cleaning up more shit. Shit. Shit. Literally piles of shit. Shit on the floor. Shit in the bed. Shit on the ass. Shit in the bathroom. Shit everywhere. I can't even appreciate the good things in my life anymore. I can't even appreciate my life anymore. And just the thought of sleeping, knowing I’ll have to wake up the next day and deal with it all over again. Rewind and repeat. Just the thought of waking up... I can't live like this much longer.

My life is being ruined and it's not my fault. Why do I have to live my family mistakes, I can't I live my own life. Just let me be free please. Why do I have do deal with my family consequences. IT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS.

I'm getting skinnier and skinnier. I walk down the street and feel like people are looking at me and thinking I'm sick. I hate this. I don't have an ED and never had. My body is just against me. My life is just stress and stress and stressss

Life's duality is interesting. Lately, I've been thinking about the first time I cut myself... it was around the same time I was waking up at 7 am to watch this kids' show on TV "Jungle Junction"...

I can't hear a cuckoo without crying

I look at my father, but he is not there anymore.. I don't recognize him... it's like.. all i see is a child (blind) with mental retardation in a grown man's body.

Every time I get closer to my future, it gets further away.

I told my mother that I wanna die literally to her face and she kept talking about herself

I'm stuck in everyone's life and can't live mine.

my father ruined my life and my mother makes me wanna die

Nobody sees how hurt I am. Nobody can see the pain in my eyes. Not even him.

Everything changed so fast.