Recent controversy over remaining monuments to famous figures of the Confederacy has got me thinking, what other things should be done to create a true environment of political-correctness? Here's a modest proposal of some other things that should also be changed: 1. George Washington was a slave-owner, and historical sources state that he owned over 300 slaves at the time of his death in 1799. Thus, we should rename Washington, D.C, take down the Washington Monument, and rename the State of Washington, any counties or cities named "Washington", and any other buildings which bear the name of this slave owner. 2. Thomas Jefferson was the owner of a large plantation in Virginia, which included several hundred slaves. Thus, we should take town the Jefferson Memorial, and also rename any county, city, or building named after Jefferson. 3. Abraham Lincoln, the "Great Emancipator" himself, was a racist who did not believe in any way that freed slaves should be integrated into American society. He did not believe in equality, was strongly opposed to interracial marriage, and wished to ship freed slaves back to Africa. Thus, we should take down the Lincoln Memorial, and also rename anything which contains a reference to the sixteenth president. 4. Christopher Columbus, who "discovered" the New World in 1492, committed acts against the native peoples of the Caribbean which today would have had him charged with genocide. We should end Columbus Day celebrations and replace them with a day of mourning for all Native Americans killed as a result of the Colombian Exchange. 5. Acts of murder were committed by American troops in World War II, the Korean War, and the Vietnam War. How can we honor soldiers who were also murderers? Therefore, we should take down all those memorials, as only a few acts of malice can poison an entire war and all those who served in it. 6. The flag of the United States makes reference to the Thirteen Colonies, which were illegally seized from native peoples of the American continent. This represents oppression and murder. Therefore, we should change the entire American flag to not longer represent this historical atrocity. Please don't forget the Japanese Internment camps and the 2 nuclear bomb which flattened Japan. In essence, let's change any and all monuments, symbols, celebrations, and memorials to any figures in American history who can be linked with genocide, murder, racism, discrimination, or any other malicious act. Who care if they people or events were important in the founding and history of our country, we can't honor horrible backward people! One a last note, if you can't pick up the satirical nature of this post, I'm so sorry.
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