like disco lemonade

• Shhh... it's our secret •

I missed drawing spicy omens, so here we are again~

Do you think Crowley is okay?🤭✨

♡

Nope, my Heated Rivalry/Good Omens obsession isn't going anywhere.

GOOD OMENS × HEATED RIVALRY (1x06 the cottage)

• Malec AU (page 3) •

My Azi being adorable as always thinking he's doing something wrong😭

Stay tuned for page 4 (very soon)✨

• A Nightingale sang in Berkeley Square • (page 3)

Bets are open!

PLAYBOY: Do you ever get tired of talking about your friendship with Matt?

AFFLECK: I understand the questions. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, they're friends, they're pals, they grew up together, isn't it great and cute? I get all kinds of questions, like, "So how's Matt?" or "What's Matt like?" And I don't know what sort of answers are expected.

Instead of saying Matt's fine and he's doing his thing, I'II be like, "Well, let me tell you about Matt. Matt can give a blow job in a way that's incredible, really special." Most of the time it's like Entertainment Tonight, and they can't air it. But then sometimes you think you're safe, but someone writes it down and it ends up being taken out of context in Out magazine.

PLAYBOY: Does Matt ever get pissed off about that?

AFFLECK: Matt gets it. We have a similar sense of humor, which I think is the main reason we're compatible as friends and in terms of writing. He always thinks it's funny. It's just a question of the rest of them.

PLAYBOY: Let's see if you've learned your lesson: What is Matt Damon really like?

AFFLECK: [Laughs] He gives a really great blow job.

The second reads

PLAYBOY: In his 1999 Playboy Interview, Affleck jokingly said of you, "He gives a really great blow job." Care to return the compliment?

DAMON: I do give great head. I definitely give a better blow job than Ben. I mean, I'm not lucky enough to be able to blow myself, but if I could, I'd never leave the house.

"The sex tells the story, so it never felt gratuitous to me. The sex is character development. The sex is what is moving this relationship forward, and watching it change over time."

Jacob with some spot-on Ilya character analysis (and general thoughts on sex-as-self)

I think this is something lost on the audience in the show that is explicitly implicit in the books.

Shane thinks Ilya is a sex god bc

1) he is "better at sex" than shane

2) shane up to this point hasn't had a successful and Very Good sexual experience. He literally says once Ilya dick is inside him that he "finally understands why people are sex- obsessed." It has clicked, and his brain says its because of ilya, not bc he is gay

3) ilya is a whore so that translates in shanes brain to very experienced, good at it, therefore sex god

They tease back and forth that ilya has ruined sex for shane bc no one else will do, and while shane is embarrassed by this, he agrees.

In TLG it comes out that ilya has maybe been with like 5-10 guys at most. Personally i think its the lower end of that. He specifically says that men are a "rare treat," implying that 1) its safer to pull women (he really is terrified of being outed and shipped back to russia), and 2) he only pulls men when he is missing shane so much he cant stand it.

Shane has canonically been with 3 men. Two pulls he didnt care for, and ilya. Again, in his mind, ilya is the key, but its not inherently bc of ilya's skill, its because of their crazy deep connection.

Sometimes though, he puts a plug in before Ilya gets home from the store and wears his slutty little shorts to signal that he wants Ilya to throw him face down on the nearest surface with no preamble whatsoever.

Ilya just walks in, sees the Slut Shorts and the red flush on Shane’s cheeks and his eyes go dark and hungry. They don’t even say a single word to each other until Ilya just stalks over, spins Shane around and presses him against the kitchen counter.

‘Desperate for it, Malysh?’ He drawls into Shane’s ear, and Shane can only nod, already lost in the anticipation.

He grinds his dick into Shane’s ass for a moment before promptly bending him over with zero warning and stripping his shorts and boxers, pulling his own down far enough just to pull out the plug in Shane’s ass and thrust right in.

They both groan loudly, the sound echoing off of all their criminally under-used appliances. Ilya wastes no time building a brutal pace, bruising Shane’s hips from where he’s pressed against the counter, holding his face down into the cold marble.

And fuck- it’s perfect. It’s just what Shane needs right now. To be used to make Ilya feel good. To feel his man, strong armed and solid chested all around him, big thick cock bullying his hole- and it’s even better when Ilya starts moaning like he’s been possessed. To hear how fucking good Shane feels, how tight he is, how he’s always ready and wet for him.

It takes an almost embarrassing four minutes for them both to cum, one after the other, until they’re panting, lazy and sweaty against the heat of each other’s bodies and Shane feels pleasantly used up.

• You turn me on like a light switch • (I cannot take this song out of my head and that's the result)

Do not think bad.

(Not too much) 🫢

Super strength, so helpful, you can carry your boyfriend everywhere <3