tesseratic honeycomb amalgamator

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! Heres the last part of my 2017 Christmas fic! I realized while rereading this that Germany was so so so out of character. Like, it’s bad, but I also still enjoy this fic, even though some parts don’t make logical sense anymore.

Word Count: 3,775

You don’t remember the last time you’ve had such a comfortable night’s sleep. When you awoke in the morning, it was still dark in the room, and you were still in Ludwig’s clothes, covered in a warm quilt. The one thing you noticed that was different, was that Ludwig was gone. You were no longer laying on his warm, sturdy chest. His arms were no longer wrapped protectively around you.

You sat up in a tired daze, looking around. It was still dark, but a slight sliver of golden sunlight was peeking through the dark curtains. So it was already mid-day, you guessed, it was only the blackout curtains that made it appear to be dark. The only light inside the house was of the small, colorful lights on the Christmas tree.

In the dim light, you saw Ludwig on the floor, mumbling in German, and surrounded by wrapping paper, scissors and tape.

“What are you doing?” You asked groggily. Ludwig jumped at your voice and quickly shoved an item behind his back.

“(Y/N)! You’re awake!” he blushed and fidgeted softly, like a child who had gotten caught being naughty. “I was wrapping your… gifts.”

“My gifts? Ludwig, I thought we weren’t going to buy each other anything. And ‘Gifts’? Plural?” You blushed. How could he do this? As much as you appreciated it, you only bought him one thing- a plate, for God’s sake! “Luddy, all I bought you was a plate!”

“It’s alright, really.” he gave you the tiniest glimmer of a smile. It was the largest you’ve seen him smile since you got here, but instead of being happy, it was more of him trying to be reassuring than anything. You mentally made it a goal to see him full out smile before you go home. As you were thinking, Ludwig stood and walked into the kitchen, arriving a few moments later with a steaming mug. “I made some Glühwein. You know, that drink you had last night.” you smiled, grateful for the warmth that surrounded your hands when you took the mug from him.

‘Thank you.” you took a sip, savoring the spicy, fruity, flavor. You hummed in pleasure. “You made this? It’s so good!” Ludwig blushed modestly and scratched his neck.

“Danke. I made it just for you…” you failed to notice how Ludwig’s face paled and his eyes widened dramatically after that sentence. You blushed and almost choked on your drink, setting it down on a side table. Before you could respond to his confession, he continued. “Do you want to wake up Gilbert and (S/N) now so we can open presents before you leave?” You jumped up in excitement like a child and tripped over your own feet. “Scheiße! (Y/N)!” Ludwig jumped forwards and grabbed you before you could hit the ground. “Are you okay?” In a lovestruck daze, you stared up into his pale blue eyes, noticing the obvious worry in them. You noticed how they softened while staring into yours.

“Yo, losers! It’s that awesome time! Presents!!”

“Merry Christmas!” Your sister and Gilbert burst into the room, the dogs following them. The dogs seemingly always showed up with them. Quickly steadying you, Ludwig let go, as to not cause suspicion. Gilbert and your sister sat down in front of the tree, grabbing and shaking the presents as if the two were still children.

“Gilbert! Don’t do that!” Ludwig hit his brother over the head.

“Jeez, West. You’re such a meany.” He snickered and scooted over closer to (S/N). “Don’t ruin Christmas.”

“I’m not…” he sighed and cut himself off. “Nevermind. (Y/N), do you want your presents now?” You blushed, still not recovered from earlier, and sat down on the couch. Before you could respond, Gilbert began his teasing again.

“Kesese! You bought her something?! Oohlala!”

“Bruder!” Before Ludwig could say any more, you nudged him with your foot from where you sat on the couch. He looked up and his glare softened into a gentle almost-smile. He sat up on the sofa with you and handed you the first small package. Giving him a small thankful smile, you tore the wrapping paper off.

Inside was a small, blue mug with the words München Christkindlmarkt in beautiful white letters. It had intricate, hand-painted designs, and you noticed it as the mug that you were drinking Glühwein from the day before. Inside the cup was a small piece of paper with handwritten words.

“Its a recipe. So you can make Glühwein whenever you want to.”

“Oh, Lud. It’s so pretty.” You leaned over and wrapped your arms around him in a tight embrace. “Thank you!”

“I-It was nothing.” Really.“ He handed you the second package gently. "Open the next.” You felt his eyes on you opened them, and you blushed brightly as his hand lingered on yours for a second, before he quickly pulled away. Inside this package, there was a small silk handkerchief, for decorative purpose only, you supposed. In fancy lettering on the front, it said Frohe Weihnachten.

“Oh, Lud-” As you unfolded it, you felt a few small objects fall into your hand. Little, handcrafted, wooden stars in beautiful colors.

“Just little things you can hang up in your home around Christmas time.” Ludwig blushed a bit and continued quieter. “So you don’t forget about your time here.” Your heart almost broke at the sight before you. Ludwig had a dark blush in his face, and the look in his eyes was obviously heartbroken, although he also looked bashful, giving him an innocent look. His blonde head was hung low, and his sharp blue eyes were averted. You knew both Gilbert and your sister were watching, but it didn’t stop your next sentence.

“Ludwig, I could never forget this place. It’s beautiful.” Ludwig’s eyes flashed with hope for a second, but he ran a hand through his hair and reached for the next gift.

“Here, it’s the last one.” He handed you the smallest, but best-wrapped gift. It was a very small box, wrapped in a smooth golden paper, and with the tiniest bow.

“I almost don’t want to open it. It’s so pretty like this.” You smiled at him shyly. “Danke-”

“Oooopeeeen iiiit.” You looked over, pulled out of the trance, and saw Gilbert with his hands cupped to his mouth. He and (S/N) looked like they were watching a movie, and this was a significantly dramatic scene.

“Mind your own business!” Ludwig growled, and Gilbert went back to talking with (S/N). You carefully pulled the paper off and opened the small box. You gasped lightly when you saw what was inside.

On a delicate gold chain along with 3 tiny beads- one black, one red, one gold- sat a charm the shape of Germany, just larger than your thumb. In the center of the charm was a small cutout of a heart.

“So a piece of Germany will always be with you.” You heard Ludwig whisper. For some reason, that really got to you. You were leaving today, and you weren’t coming back. You’d never see Ludwig again. You felt the tears well up in your eyes, and you quickly stood and ran to your bedroom, still holding the necklace. You sat on the edge of your bed, set your face in your hands. You tried your best to keep the tears from falling, but you couldn’t. You were leaving. You were never going to see Ludwig again, except in the background of pictures your sister sends. Oh, if only you could stay forever. But you couldn’t quit your job! And you could barely speak a lick of German. Suddenly you heard the door open, and you froze, expecting Ludwig.

“What was that?” You looked up to see not Ludwig, but your sister standing in the doorway. She laughed before looking down at you. “Holy shit, are you crying?” She completely switched from teasing to concerned. “What happened?”

“I-” Your voice cracked, and you stopped talking, choking back a small sob. Your sister sat down next to you and rubbed your back gently.

“Take your time.” You took a deep breath.

“I need to leave. Like, now.”

“What? Why? Is it because of Ludwig?” Then, she looked at you with that look that older siblings get sometimes. The ‘I know’ look.

“Okay, yes. I really like him.” Your sister laughed. “What’s so funny?”

“Why are you crying then? Because you have to leave? You don’t.” She stood from the bed and laughed. “(Y/N), I love ya, but you’re an idiot. An idiot in love.” You blushed as she left your room. You gathered your bags together and got dressed for the airport, doing your hair as simple as possible. You heard a whining noise outside your bedroom door and went to open it, immediately tackled to the ground by the dogs. The golden retriever began to lick your salty, tear-stained cheeks. Despite the sadness inside you, you still managed to laugh.

“Aster! Stop it!” You stood up and took this time to check what time it was. 12:30. And your flight was at 2:30. And take away the hour it took to get to the airport. That gave you one hour. One hour to pack. One hour to come to peace with the fact that you were leaving. One hour to say goodbye to Ludwig. You jumped when you heard a soft knock on your open door.

“(Y/N)?” It was Ludwig. “Do you want to eat something or have some more Glühwein before you go?” Sucking up all your courage, you left your room and followed him to the kitchen.

“I suppose it’s only logical to eat since I’m not going to have anything but airline food the rest of the day.” Sitting down at the table across from him and digging into your food, you tried your best to avoid eye contact with him. Those eyes could pull you into a trance, and that’s the last thing you need right now. But that wasn’t the only problem.

This is the last time you’re going to eat at this table. The last time you get to share a meal with him.

You couldn’t push the thoughts out of your head.

“I’m sorry.” Ludwig’s low voice pulled you back to reality. You looked up, immediately making eye contact with those crystal eyes and scolded yourself in your head. Damn it all, (Y/N)! You had one job!

“Sorry for what?”

“Whatever I did that upset you.” Ludwig looked like a kicked puppy. Whatever he thought he did to you really seemed to be bugging him. “Was it the necklace? After I gave it to you, you just ran off. Is something wrong with it?”

“No! It’s nothing, I promise. The necklace is beautiful.” You reached down to where it still hung around your neck, then you continued eating silently. You felt his eyes still on you but were still determined to ignore it.

“If you need to tell me something, you can. Please don’t feel uncomfortable talking to me.” You blushed, and your brain ceased to function. Why was he saying all these things? Did he know something? Clenching your fist under the table, you blatantly lied.

“I don’t feel uncomfortable.” Ludwig didn’t seem to believe you, but you continued to eat in silence. You heard Ludwig sigh and stand up from the table.

“Can I take your bags out to the car?”

“Go ahead.” You felt so terrible ignoring Ludwig, considering you had been so close yesterday, but you just wanted to make this easier on both of you. That didn’t make it selfish, right? You were doing this for Ludwig too. Unless he didn’t care if you left or stayed. God, what if he didn’t care? Of course, no one could decide they like someone in two days! It takes time. You set your silverware down in deep thought. I should’ve known it’s not worth it. I should have just stayed with (S/N) instead of hanging out with Ludwig. I could’ve saved all this trouble…

“Are you ready to go?” Ludwig interrupted your inner monologue.

“Now?” You glanced at the clock. “Oh! Yeah, let’s go.” You gave your room one last look, making sure you didn’t forget anything- your phone, charger, a hairbrush- and you grabbed the remaining bag and a coat. You walked slowly through the house as if wishing you’d miss your flight. As if wishing time would stop. Eventually, you were out the door, and you sat in the passenger side of Ludwig’s car.

This is the last time you’ll see this room. This is the last time you’ll see this house. In less than an hour, you’ll be gone.

The ride was silent for a very long time. You both sat silently, Ludwig driving and you watching the passing scenery outside. You felt so guilty about not talking to Ludwig. What if you really hurt him? Eventually, the silence became too much for Ludwig.

“(Y/N). Please talk to me. I know you’ve been ignoring me for a reason, and I want to know why.”

“I’m not-”

“Schwachsinn!” he cursed rather loudly. Then he calmed quickly, not wanting to scare you. “I know you’re ignoring me. Please… please tell me why.” Ludwig looked so hurt, and you once again felt tears well up in your eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Ludwig…” Your voice cracked in the middle of the sentence, and you covered your mouth and looked out the window. “I’m sorry. It’s just, you know, I’m leaving today and I didn’t want to…” You trailed off.

“You didn’t want to become attached to me…Is that it?” you hesitated but nodded slowly.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.” Ludwig was silent a moment, and then he continued.

“You know, you don’t have to leave today. I could buy you a plane ticket for another day. It’ll be way too busy today.”

“Ludwig, it’s fine.” Ludwig pulled the car into the airport’s parking lot.

“But if you don’t want to leave…” He was parking now.

“I need to.” You looked over at Ludwig and got out of the car. You went to the trunk and grabbed your suitcase.

“At least let me carry your bags for you.”

“Alright.” You smiled at Ludwig and nodded. He gave off no emotion whatsoever. And then you began the long walk to the airport. You couldn’t process the fact that this was the last time you’d see Ludwig. It was as if your body was just refusing to believe the information. Hoping that maybe… maybe it wasn’t true. Maybe something would happen. But here you stood, next to Ludwig, right inside the airport, ready to board the plane. You hesitated. GO. STAY. GO STAY. There was a battle taking place inside you between your head and your heart. You wanted to stay with Ludwig, you really did! But how stupid would that be? Like a decision an impulsive teenager. Was there anything you could say to him that could spark a conversation and cause you to miss your flight? No…

“(Y/N), wait!” Before you could take another step, you felt a strong grip around your upper arm. “Wait!” Don’t go!”

“Ludwig..?” This was the first time you’ve seen the German so passionate about something. He looked so desperate, so needy, so… vulnerable.

“(Y/N), don’t get on that plane. Before you came here I didn’t really have any friends. Not who live around here, anyway. You’ve spent so much time with me, and I’m forever grateful for that. I’m not the person who says things like this, but sometimes you need to let your heart decide… I know it’s only been a few days, and in any other situation I wouldn’t say this, but your sister already lives here and we somewhat know each other, so… I really like you. Bitte bleib hier bei mir.“ He took one look at your shocked expression and continued. “You can leave if you’re positive you want to. I won’t force you to stay.” he let go of your arm in a dejected manner. “I’m sorry for delaying you. Just don’t forget me.” He turned away, expecting you to leave. You noticed how he wasn’t holding himself tall and strong like he normally does, but instead, his shoulders were hunched. He was walking away from you, but his words were still ringing in your head. Sometimes you need to let your heart decide. In a split second, you sprinted up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist. He stiffened up instantly. “(Y-Y/N)?”

“Ludwig… did you mean all that?” you pulled away from him and he turned to face you. His face was bright red all the way to the tips of his ears.

“Of course I did.” He scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed.

“Even the part where you said you like me?” Ludwig’s face paled as if he forgot that he said that.

“E-even that part…” The two of you stood in silence for a moment, and for the first time all day, you allowed yourself to get lost in his cerulean blue orbs. How they were filled to the brim with unease. The way his crisp blonde hair was combed back away from his forehead, although a few hairs had fallen from the ranks, hanging above his eyes. The way his muscles were tensed in anxiety for your response.

“I like you too…”  

“Does that mean… you’re staying?” You nodded slowly and watched in joy as Ludwig’s lips curled up into a grin. A big, toothy, grin. In an agonizingly slow movement, he wrapped his arms around you gently and leaned down to bury his face in the crook of your neck. It was then that you felt the wet drops on your shoulder, and felt Ludwig’s shoulders tremble softly.

“Are you crying?”

“I’m… happy.” Of course, all sweet moments must come to an end, as Ludwig’s cellphone began ringing annoyingly. He pulled back quickly and dug the phone out of his pocket. “Hallo?” he listened for a mere two seconds and hung up with a sigh. “It was Gilbert. He asked if were, erm… getting it on yet.”

“So does he know about…?”

“Ja, and if you don’t mind, I don’t exactly want to go home yet. They’re only going to torment us.”

“Okay, but where are we going then?” Ludwig thought for a few moments, then it looked as if an idea struck him.

“Well, I have an idea, but it might be a while before we get there.”

“Can I know what is?”

“Neu-… actually, it’s a surprise. But, it might be 5 o’clock by the time we get there… are you alright with waiting that long?”

“Of course. As long as it’s with you.” As Ludwig smiled and carried your bags back to the car, you couldn’t help but wonder where he was taking you. Something so important that he was willing to drive five hours to get there. What could it be? As you sat in the car, Ludwig spoke up.

“I can’t believe you’re actually staying.”

“I can’t either.” Ludwig seemed a bit uncertain about what he was about to say.

“Are you sure you want to stay? You still have time to catch your plane-”

“I want to stay.” Ludwig smiled again, looking away to hide it, and drove the car out of the parking lot. “Remember what you said earlier? About letting your heart decide? That’s what I did. I let my heart decide. And it chose you”

“(Y/N)…” he trailed off. But you knew what he meant. That’s so sweet, or How cheesy. He continued to drive, and you looked out the window, watching the road signs fly past. “You might want to take a nap while we drive there. It’s almost two hours.”

“But I don’t want you to be lonely on the drive.” Despite how tired you still were because of jet lag, you really didn’t want Ludwig to be alone. “I don’t want to be a burden.”

“(Y/N), how many times do I have to tell you. You’re not a burden. I like having you around. Go to sleep.” Smiling once more, you closed your eyes and failed to notice the sign reading Romantische Straße.

The light snow fluttered carelessly around the sky, and everything was enveloped in pitch darkness, except for a small beam of moonlight shining down in the center of an utterly romantic scene. In the midst of all the snow, a young girl twirled around, her jacket forgotten somewhere, her hair flowing free down her shoulders. The man’s hair seemed even fairer than usual adorned with delicate crystals of snow, as he stepped into the light and lay his jacket over the woman’s shoulders, pulling her in for a sweet kiss. Their lips molded perfectly onto each other, and it all seemed too perfect to be true. And it was.

(Y/N)…

(Y/N)…

“(Y/N)? Wake up now. We’re here.” Ludwig whispered. The sun was gone, but it didn’t look like night time yet. Late evening, when the sky still has a tint of gray to it. Steady snow had begun to fall and was already piling in the grass beside the road. With a small groan, you let Ludwig pull you out of the car, and you looked around, expecting something extravagant.

“Where are we?” You whispered back to him, equally as soft. Ludwig took your hand and pulled you away from the car a bit. He swiftly pulled his coat off and lay it across your shoulders. You smiled thankfully up at him. Then, he stopped walking and pointed out to a blank mountain range.

“Look up there.” You did. You strained your eyes, and soon you saw that it was not simply a blank mountain range. Perched upon one of the hills was an elegant, white castle. The mountain was not blank, but in fact, it was a canvas that the Gods had touched with a magic paintbrush. “Do you see it?”

“Yes… it’s beautiful.”

It may be schön, but you… du bist wunderschön.“ You smiled and huddled closer to Ludwig.

"Is that what you brought me here for? Just to say that?” Worry splashed across Ludwig’s face.

“I thought of it on the way. Do you like it?”

“I love it.” Ludwig smiled that beautiful toothy grin that you’ve only gotten to see twice, and wrapped his arms around you quietly, warming you with his body.

“Maybe we’ll come back another day. I think you’re getting cold,  ja? Let’s go.” He hurriedly rushed you to the car and got you comfortable. “Schlaf, mein Schatz. Schlaf…”

♡

Translations

Schlaf, mein Schatz- sleep, my treasure (pet name)

Romantische Straße- Romantic Street (its a scenic route in Germany)

Bitte bleib hier bei mir- please stay here with me

Schwachsinn- bullshit

schön- pretty