My sadness blog

That's why I can't remember much from the start,

But I remember December 13,

Cut to my wrists, blood on the phone screen.

Laptop still open,

Elliot Smith,

I wish,

I hadn't spent 20 years leading to this,

Skin turns pale and then to blue,

Eyes still open,

My heart kind of skipped a beat because I didn't want to even look at pictures of her because of the associated heartache.

This is the most sad you'll ever see me. This is the face of heartbreak itself. My girlfriend of 2 years ended it with me today on her return from a trip abroad I was kind of in denial and helped her pack. Then we watched TV and I put my arm around her and then I started to cry so she told me she was leaving.

I'm now lying on my floor contemplating so many things.

I'm sorry I make you upset,

And I know how little these lyrics mean,

But just looking at our pictures together on the screen,

Makes me weak,

Our love has been so passionate,

And it burns like the sun,

I'm so sorry I get depressed,

When you're out tryna have fun,

I'm sorry I'm a burden,

Every time you open up,

Our messages,

Our story,

Lyrics will never be enough,

To show what we went through,

Times that were so hard and so tough,

Finger on the trigger is this time a bluff?

Finger,

Like the middle one,

We lifted them up,

To eachother,

And I can't deal with any other, Girl,

She just wouldn't be enough

With a love song,

Not a sad one,

It's so much easier to say,

And to point out each and every mistake,

I've ever made,

A piss take,

To behave,

The way that I have,

And after the first time,

It took two years to explain how I felt to mum and dad,

But my minds not right,

Shits constantly stuck,

On fight or flight,

And the bitter respite,

Is the moment of silence when I'm not messaging you,

So this time I hope,

This message gets through,

I love you,

I need you,.