a collision of atoms

like, can I go to work every day and earn a paycheck? yeh. Can I sustain a small circle of friends and go on a few dates every few months? pretty much. can I feed myself and get a passable amount of sleep? most the time

is my apartment absolutely littered with laundry and trash? yes as well. Have a done dishes in the last week? nope. have I been 10-30 minutes late to almost every engagement in the last year? yep. have I forgotten to shower for 4-5 days, like every other week? yeehaw 

I know people look at me and are like, ‘God, she has her shit together, God I wish I could do that,’ but I’m sitting here feeling like an anxiety disaster half-person

Haku, listen. I just remembered something from a long time ago - I think it may help you. Once, when I was little, I dropped my shoe into a river. When I tried to get it back, I fell in. I thought I’d drown, but the water carried me to shore. It finally came back to me. The river’s name was the Kohaku River. I think that was you, and your real name is Kohaku River.