You're The Perfect Amount Of Sauce.

if not you, then no one

That “we a team” type love >>

god my neighbor just called me and she’s like… is this your chicken in our driveway… like who else has a chicken in this neighborhood yes it’s my chicken… so i get over there and kylo hen is chilling in their driveway eating some specs and stuff and there’s this actual crowd of people around her and i’m like… hi sorry mb let me get her… and oh my god… they’re like do you need us to call someone?? should we get help?? how should we do this?? do you need a net? like bitch it’s a chicken not a fucking komodo dragon. so i just… i was kind of joking around so i crouched down and patted my thighs and all the chickens are trained to come to me on sight because me = food… so i got down there and went “here girl!! come here!!” and the chicken comes running over and this group of actual adult ass individuals were staring at me like i was the fucking pied piper… and i didn’t know what to say…. so i just kind of walked back to my yard with the chicken following me and none of them moved or said a damn word and i think i literally just convinced them this chicken is trained like a dog…

your chicken’s name is kylo hen

shlap shlap shlap shlap

a zebra is just a horse that thinks it’s special

self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the Fucking void

if i die my funerals gonna be the biggest fucken party and you’re all invited 

if

great, the only party ive ever been invited to and he might not even die

wearing all black today to mourn the death of my motivation