Pun of Kyle

Why do all minotaurs in media have nipple rings. Who's piercing their nipples. and How do I qualify for this job.

Reblog if you're the naked neighbor.

Top ten signs your puppy is toxic & manipulating

I got that puppy in me.

To be clear I mean the good things this means not the evil things.

i was at an event last night in california and i went to the bar to order wine bc wine was like, a thing, and i looked at the menu and saw i was completely out of my depth bc idk any wine names, so i turned to my right and there was a man in a gorgeous suit standing at the bar beside me and i said “do you know anything about wine?” and he said “a little, yes!” i told him i liked white and dry wines and asked if he’d order for me. he asked the server for two glasses and had one poured for each of us and then he clinked his glass on mine but he didn’t take a sip, he just watched me taste mine and then he asked what i thought and i said “it’s pretty good, but like i said, i wouldn’t know.” he laughed and told me to have a good time & i walked away. fifteen minutes later i found out he’s the winemaker.

giggled at something and my coworker comes out of the break room and goes "I just heard like, a haunted child laugh... so weird." and I'm like okay so it was a normal regular alive adult laugh actually

first 5 faceless emojis are how your summers gonna go

I’ve seen you people thirst after men I wouldn’t even feed to my creature

masturbate 5 times a day, smoke a cigarette whenever u feel like it, take a shot as soon as you wake up, walk 7.8 miles every day, have sex on holy ground, eat 4 figs every single day and sleep 15 hours.