Take care

I want to write more in 2026. And there’s only one way I can do it—by writing the most self-indulgent garbage you have ever seen.

i wish u could hold out ur hand to pigeons and they’d come sniff it like cats would & they’d go ooo rooo rorooo oo and let u pet them. alas bird flu

the role of the person in the passenger seat is not only navigator but secretary as well. you have to type up the drivers messages to random ladies on facebook about cbd cream & google whether that billy joel song was the theme song for that show or not

you also have to provide a henchmans disdainful scowl at whoever the driver is flipping off in the target parking lot

You should never forget the Tommy Gun

nice outfit LOSER!!! 2001 called, they

hold on.

oh my god

apologies Etsy witches, I was unfamiliar with your game

that onion headline that's like "whatever. the emo kids are all sitting on each other's lap" is their realest one yet

don’t kill urself. get violently high and jack off at 11am. eat a really big burger. flirt with hot women online. jack off again at 1pm. take a fat nap. jack off again at 4,5,6pm. watch a movie. the world is your oyster

STOP. moment of gratitude for those precious times of breathing from your nostrils when you don't have a stuffy nose

Everyone who doesn't have a headache right now, stop right now for a moment and appreciate how good it is not to have a headache.