hoe tips for ya hoe life

• don’t pull their head back all the way and expect normal sounding moans/words

• PEE AFTER SEX

•massage her outer labia with firm but gentle pressure when rubbing her clit. The clitoris is an a branched organ that dips down the vulva into the outer labia.

• If he has forskin, gently pull it down, wet your tongue, and gently lick the head of his cock. It’ll drive him wild.

• dip your hips down a little lower to catch his balls against your pelvis, and gently squish them as you slide up. It’ll add extra sensation for him, and it’ll push him against a very sensitive part inside of you.

• PEE AFTER SEX!!!!!

• If it’s cold, wear socks. Cold feet makes it harder to orgasm.

• If you can’t fit his whole cock in your mouth, grip the base of his cock with your thumb and forefinger, and gently cup and squeeze his balls. Total unit fun!

• Lay her on her side with a pillow under her hip. Make her curl into the fetal position. ~Only start out going in about half way, as this bends the vaginal canal in a way that any more than that may be painful

1. No teeth. It’s not cute, it’s not funny, it just hurts.

2. Most of the nerves are in the head of the penis. Try to focus more on this area when giving a HJ, while incorporating the rest of the penis, of course.

3. That thing you do, where you sit on our dick while not actually putting it in, and grinding on top of us… Yeah. Do that. Also, while we’re inside you. Yeah. Do it some more.

4. Dry humping isn’t weird, it’s hot and lets us know that you’re really in the mood. Bonus points if you do this while we’re making out.

5. Communicate. Let us know what feels good, let out a moan once in a while, and OH MY GOD tell us when you’re cumming. That’s hot as fuck.

6. Don’t diss it until you try it. You don’t have to like every position/technique, but try to keep an open mind.

The woman is in charge in cowgirl position or any other girl on top sex position. You take the dominant role, meaning that you move any way that feels good to you.

Basics: Your guy is lying down on his back, and you straddle him while you are on your knees. You are facing your man in basic cowgirl position. Sit down on his penis, and then just move any way that feels good to you.

Clitoris and G-spot : To stimulate your clitoris, have him tilt his pelvis up, and you rock your hips back and forth or around in a circle. You are in control of how fast or slow you want to go. To stimulate your G-spot, the area 2 to 3 inches inside your vagina up toward your belly button, lean back as you thrust your hips back and forth

Motions: Going up and down gives your guy even more pleasure as his penis goes deep and then shallow. You will be using your legs as you do a bouncing motion.

You can also try riding your man by squatting over him with your feet flat on the bed instead of straddling or sitting on him. Personally i prefer the up and down moves.

Also try rotating your hips in circles to see how it feels.

Place your hands on his stomach or on your thighs for support. Then lift your body up and down on his penis. This allows you to control when the penetration will be deep (and it can be very deep in this position) or more shallow, and you control the pace — fast or slow.

You might find fast shallow thrusts pleasurable at first and then move to slow deep ones.

You can change things up when learning how to ride him to do Reverse Cowgirl. Your guy still lies on his back, but you turn around to face his feet. Your legs should be on either side of his hips. Hold onto the bed or his legs for support as you move up and down, in circles or back and forth. Arching your back in Reverse Cowgirl allows his penis to reach your G-spot more effectively.

IMPORTANT: Avoid thrusting too forcefully, or you could bend his penis, which can result in a serious injury.

Eye contact: Don’t be afraid to look him straight in the eye. Establishing this kind of connection in the woman on top sex position can be incredibly hot, and it gives you the opportunity to communicate with him through facial expressions, dirty talk, or even just a simple smile that reminds you that it’s still just you and your man having great sex, with nothing to feel intimidated about. 

Don’t forget HIM: He doesn’t have to just lie there while you do all the work, you’re going to start getting tired pretty quickly if you’re not used to being on top, so get him to help you.

He can lift you up and down with his hands underneath your butt, or he can pull you down onto his penis with his hands gripping onto your hips. He can rock you back and forth… You can take the pressure off your legs too by using his thighs or chest to lean on.

What about his hands: Take advantage of your accessibility by getting your man to give you a little manual pleasure. Invite him to run his hands over your breasts and belly, and make sure he doesn’t neglect your hot button. Having him stroke you there while you’re doing the bump-and-grind gives you twice as much titillation, which can launch you to an otherworldly orgasm. Take his hand and make the movements you want him to use so he knows what gets you going and can finish on his own. 

If you don’t feel enough confident for the time being try these things:

Pick up the tie: Blindfold your man with a smooth, silk scarf. Since he can’t see you, you can be more relaxed and not worry about his eyes watching your every move. 

Okay, so I’m going to get really personal here, more than I’ve been willing to do on the internet, but apparently it’s necessary. 

There’s a world of misinformation out there when it comes to PLEASING A WOMAN SEXUALLY. 

There is a REASON lesbians do it better.  Men are misinformed and I blame that largely on porn.  Porn is not what sex looks like, especially not lesbian sex.  You’d think everyone knew that, but men seem to base everything they know about pleasing a woman on what they see in the videos they’re so obsessed with watching.  

Men, porn is wrong. 

I’m writing this because I think men deserve the chance to really please a woman and the only way they’re going to do that is if they’re given the right information and poor, poor straight women don’t even know how to BE properly pleased because they’ve been forced to be touched only by men who’ve learned their skills from porn.  

Man, do I feel bad for you straight girls. 

That’s right people, I’m gay. 

But I have slept with men.  And the difference is astounding. 

So I’m here to help you straight people in understanding the real way to please a woman.  To really satisfy a woman, you have to be an expert at foreplay. 

First and foremost… 

ORAL IS NOT FOREPLAY. 

Holy crap!!  How is that so WIDELY MISCONSTRUED?  

If you look up foreplay tips, that’s all you hear about.  Sure, you get, “Touch her all over, whisper in her ear, touch her boobies,” and that’s all well and good, but the main focus is, “ORAL, ORAL, ORAL.”  

Let me tell you something.  It is called ORAL SEX because IT IS A FORM OF SEX.  Anything, I MEAN ANYTHING, that results in an orgasm is sex.  Anything that is physical touching of the genitals is sex.  

So what is foreplay? 

Foreplay is everything done to the body BEFORE THE GENITALS ARE TOUCHED.  So that means, kissing, cuddling, caressing, whispering, licking, biting, etc. 

Now, the problem isn’t that, it’s where and how these men do it.  They don’t spend the right amount of time in ANY of the places they need to.  They don’t take the time to really explore a woman’s body.  I don’t know if it’s because they don’t want to or what, but, being a lesbian, all I want to do is explore a woman’s body.  I want to hear every noise she makes from every spot I touch on her body. 

Men, please stop GRABBING.  Do not grab breasts, do not grab the ass, do not grab our shoulders.  Gently caress them.  Grab without constricting.  Touch them.  Glide your fingers across our skin.  Women’s entire bodies are sexual.  You can literally arouse a woman by touching any part of her body.  

I will be as specific as possible. 

Touching and kissing the breasts and nipples are amazing, but DO NOT GO THERE FIRST.  The biggest problem I had with sleeping with men is this– it was always the same.  The routine was exactly the same every time.  I knew what was going to happen each time it started.  First this, then that, then bam penetration. 

No. 

Women need diversity.  We need to be surprised.  

Start in different places every time.  

Women love to be admired– by eyes and by touching.  Slowly undress her as you kiss and touch each spot that is exposed.  Make love to her flesh with your lips, EVERYWHERE.  Don’t just kiss and peck at her skin, don’t just smooch her neck and shoulders.  No, deeply kiss them as if you were kissing her lips.  Use your tongue.  Run your tongue down the length of her limbs, the sounds she makes will tell you everything you need to know.  If she doesn’t want a spot touched, trust me, you’ll know it.  But if she LIKES it, you’ll definitely know it and that means, KEEP DOING THAT.  Do it some more.  Tease her by moving elsewhere and doing the same thing, then move back to that spot that tantalized her so. 

Don’t know where to kiss, lick, suck, and bite?  

I’ll give you a run down. 

Ears, ear LOBES (women love to have them lightly nibbled– that said, some might not, everyone is different, but TRY), neck (front, side, back), the spine (lick/caress from neck down, you’ll give her shivers of delight), the collarbone (mmm, one of my favorites), shoulders, inner elbow, inner wrist, sternum, nipples, the WHOLE breast (this means the sides, under boob, lick it, suck it, nibble it, listen to which way drives her the most crazy), rib cage (lick the bottom lining of the rib cage, lightly teeth it!), side of the rib cage, stomach (I cannot tell you enough to use your tongue! Lick around the belly button in circles, lick down to her pubic hair, kiss/nibble back up to the belly), PELVIC BONES (lick em! bite em!), hips, back of the hips, thighs especially the inner thigh (the closer you get to her vag, the more she’ll go crazy with need), back of the thigh, side of the thigh, back of knees, back of calves, ankles (back, side), under the butt, on top of the butt where it meets the spine.  

Did I miss a spot?  If you think so, TRY IT.  I cannot express enough– TOUCH HER EVERYWHERE, KISS HER EVERYWHERE, AND MEAN IT. 

As you kiss everywhere, trail your fingers LIGHTLY across her skin in all these places.  Do circles, do curves, follow the curves and bones of her body, find some interesting freckles?  Follow them in the pattern they create with your fingers, tongue, or lips.  

Move the woman’s body.  Lift limbs to access places you haven’t tried yet.  Lift up her legs to kiss/lick down the back of her calf to her knee, to her thigh.  Leave hickies!  Unless she doesn’t want you to, so always ask!  

Flip her over just to kiss from the back of her neck down the length of her spin.  Caress her as you do this.  Spank her.  If you grab, do so GENTLY, not like you’re squeezing her to death.  Women’s bodies respond to sensual and gentle touching.  Wrap her legs around your head as you leave hickies on her thighs and gently graze her clit as you “mmmm,” you’ll leave her breathless.

Do not, DO NOT, touch her clit until you have her screaming from all the foreplay.  Even if she is dripping wet before you’ve spent ten minutes on foreplay, do not enter!  Tease her, make her BEG for you to enter her.  She’ll either beg verbally, with words or whimpers, or she’ll beg with her eyes and hands.  A woman will let you know when she is ready to be entered. 

Do not enter until you know for sure she is begging for it. 

When you’re kissing/licking her collarbone to her shoulder, run a hand along her rip cage, stomach, or thighs.  Touch her whole body at once.  If you’re kissing her thighs, tease a nipple or run your fingers along her collarbone or jaw.  Did I mention the jaw?  Oh yeah.  Definitely spend time there.  Kiss it, nibble it, lick it, run your fingers across it.  Grab her face when you kiss her.  Thread your fingers in her hair.  Do all of this, at all times.  

Constantly keep her whole body engaged.  Do not ever focus solely on one spot.  

You’ll have a fully satisfied woman after.  I promise you. 

Every time. 

Hope that helped.  

Heyy, I’m happy to help! I mostly use snapchat for nudes since you can tell if they screenshot or save but up to you✨

-Camera angle from below! Makes your ass look even better 😉

-When you twist to take some pics you’ll have some folding-over lines on your skin. Up to you but I put my hand wherever they are to cover them (ex: twisting to take booty pics you get lines on your lower back)

-Lighting is key. Don’t want it to be too dark and natural light’s the best ☀️

-Tease them!! That gets them really going, then if you’re comfortable you can send videos or pics of you touching yourself

-Location: Bedroom over bathroom for sure. Use a mirror too sometimes.. and if you keep the camera at a low angle like right over your hips your ass will look killer🍑

-captions ex: “wish you were here to help me out😈”

-Facial expression is really important. If your caption is more innocent (wish you were here, I miss you, etc) go with an innocent expression (big eyed, pouty lips) but if it’s not, look like the queen you are(head up, confidence level 1000, think ‘murder’) also sticking your tongue out is v cute!!!

-BE CONFIDENT👸

-Honestly they’ll be happy with anything, you’re giving your time to them! They should worship you. If not, they don’t deserve your bomb nudes ✨

Okay, so, I’ve seen mad tips advocating the use of coconut oil as lube. Honestly, I would not suggest that.

For starters, coconut oil breaks down condoms. Let’s be real, babes, if you have multiple partners, or your partner has multiple partners, you should be using condoms. STIs and STDs are real.

Second, coconut oil is a comedogenic oil which means it tends to clog pores and cause blackheads. This is fine when you use it on your body, but sensitive areas like your face or vagina aren’t places you want clogged pores. Clogged pores on your vagina can cause bumps and ingrown hairs.

Third, coconut oil is antibacterial. That’s excellent for cleaning cuts and burns, but not to vaginal health. Your vagina is self cleaning and using anything antibacterial in, on, or around it will disrupt the good bacteria there. This means yeast infections galore, and who wants that?

As with all hoe tips, this is just personal opinion and advice. If it works for you, there’s no need to change. But if you’ve just added coconut oil to your kitty’s routine and you’re finding some things are out of whack, it’s probably not for you.

- can’t get ur pussy smooth?? always prickly?? shave diagonally and horizontally instead of up and down, and always use a new blade

- can’t get ur pussy soft?? shave with hair conditioner and massage it in for like 30 seconds before. after u shave, massage with baby oil, and lotion after a shower

- EXFOLIATE. exfoliating is the key to life. mix used coffee grounds with a moisturizing oil (olive or coconut is best). rub that shit all over your legs before you shave until ur hands start to feel funny

- dry feet?? bih me too. rub a fuck ton of regular lotion (or foot cream if u fancy, even Vaseline works) all over your feet and put double socks (or fuzzy socks) on before bed. yass

- this one is the most basic but pls drink water. it’ll clear ur skin, flush out your kidneys to prevent bladder infections, and ur pussy gonna be wet asf

- salt, fat, caffeine, dairy, etc. r gonna make u taste all funky down there. fruits, veggies, and anything w high water content is gonna make u taste fresh/sweet

- smoking and drinking also gonna make u taste funky. and smoking is especially bad for u, so put out the cig babe

- using soap on ur pussy gonna fuck up ur pH bad. the vagina is a self cleaning device, and all u need is a really soft washcloth (or even a cotton shirt) and some water, let ur body do ur thing

- if ur used to wearing tampons and that’s what u find comfortable, use a menstrual cup! very sanitary and will save u a TON of money in the long run

- want a natural lip plumper?? mix a lil bit of cinnamon and honey, and gently rub it into your lips w a soft toothbrush n leave it on for a min. slather on some chapstick n ur plump n soft

- BUY A VIBRATOR. please do it. it will save ur fucking life

- cotton panties or no panties sis. ur kitty needs to breathe and cotton/no panties will prevent bacterial and fungal infection

- got hair on ur face? got rough skin? GURL SHAVE IT! wash your face as normal and pat dry, gently run a clean razor over any areas (cheeks, chin, neck). tone and moisturize like a motherfucker. smooth!

- pubic hair is healthy and good and keeps ur vag clean! don’t shave it unless YOU want to, don’t leave that decision up to ur nasty man

- allow urself junk in moderation. it’ll make making healthy choices easier if u allow urself a little treat every once in a while

- a simple equation for a good meal: vegetable + grain/carb, protein

- do ur fucking homework and do it on time

- rubbing a little bit of petroleum jelly on ur pressure points before spraying perfume will make it last longer

- hair holds onto scents v easily. wanna smell like a goddess????,,, spritz that hair

- kat von d everlasting liquid lipstick is blowjob proof. get messy n be on point!

- urban decay all nighter setting spray is gonna save ur life. it’ll keep ur shit in place when u getting dicked, if u cryin, chokin on dick, w/e u like to do

- if ur having trouble getting wet even after sufficient foreplay, a little bit of water based lube does WONDERS. also won’t deteriorate condoms (oil) or get gritty (silicone)

- need to stretch out ur shoes?? fill two ziploc bags with water and put them in ur shoes. put shoes in the freezer until water freezes solid, and dethaw with a hairdryer. especially effective on leather!

- having problems deepthroating? make sure ur throat is in line with ur mouth, if it’s not the dick won’t go down

- can’t deepthroat at all? cover ur teeth with ur top lip and press ur tongue to the roof of ur mouth while he thrusts. 10/10!

- communication w ur partner during sex will make it a trillion million times more satisfying

- frizzy hair? put conditioner on the tips of your hair (nape of the neck and down) and shampoo right on ur scalp. volumizes without frizzing!

- this one kinda weird but don’t hold ur pee unless u wanna mean bladder infection/UTI

- pee after u masturbate please. u never know what can shimmy up ur urethra, even when ur playin w the little man in the sailboat

- keep a pair of spare glasses with u for when ur contacts dry out. lifesaver

- always keep extra undies, an extra shirt, makeup remover, moisturizer, and comfy shoes in ur car/bag if u can fit all of it

- apply dry shampoo the night before ur gonna need it. it’ll soak up the oil before it sits on ur hair. reapply in the morning n style accordingly

- apple cider vinegar mixed with water works as a good toner if u ain’t got no moneyyyy

- castor oil on ur brows and lashes every night will make them thicker and longer. even just one day will help (bc they will be shiny and moisturized)

baby wipes - can be used to take makeup off quickly. use before & after sex,easily wipes up boob sweat and is just good for freshening up overall

throat numbing spray -  makes deep throating easier (especially if your gag reflex is bad)

aquaphor - makes lips soft and is good for any rough patches of skin

clear or light pink gloss - super flirty and cute and makes your lips look nice & pouty

salux cloth - exfoliates skin really well and will make your skin soft as fuck. it’s like a loofah but better. it’s also long so you can exfoliate your back as well.

schick intuition razor - it has a little moisturizing bar on the razor so u don’t have to use shaving cream. so moisturizing and makes you smooth as fuck. one of the best razors imo.

dr. bronners peppermint castile soap - literally makes you feel so clean and minty! if u have a vagina do not put this inside of it bc it will throw ur pH way off)

baby oil - put on wet skin to keep moisture in and make you soft af. also good if u wanna put oil on your ass & titties during sex (also be sure not to get this in your vagina bc it will give u a fuckin infection and it also it deteriorates condoms)

perfume oil - lasts longer and is is stronger than perfume (i recommend the “crown perfume” brand)

body butter - thicker than lotion and makes you wayyy softer (heres a diy recipe)

rosewater - smells like rose (obviously) and works good as a toner,setting spray,and makeup “refresher”. works well for all skin types.

aloe vera gel - great under makeup as a moisturizer & primer if you have oily skin. it absorbs fast and prevents wrinkles and makes ur skin look nice & plump. i’ve heard it can be used to shave with as well. (make sure you get the clear one, not the green or blue gel. and make sure there’s no alcohol added)

chlorophyll - basically a body deodorizer, that you take internally. comes in liquid or pill form. it’s a natural remedy for vaginal odor & bad breath. it’ll make you smell better in general though.