kiss more

my chest is cold

my phone is quiet

my thoughts unconsoled.

I wonder what he’s thinking

I know that he cares

why bother sleeping

when every day I have nightmares?

as much as I hate this

I know that he’s right

when push came to shove

I couldn’t put up a fight.

I wish I could hold him

and kiss his face

and feel everything for a moment

fall back into place.

but these things will happen

and we have  to choose

which battles can be won

and which me must lose.

//                          //                         // 

It’s 3am and it’s hard to not imagine you next to me. 

I should be waking up for a moment to turn over in bed and catching a glimpse of your silhouette

Feeling at ease

Knowing that in this city full of strangers 

There’s someone for me.

Somewhere I belong

Someone in my sheets.

Someone holding my hand while we’re crossing the streets.

Someone snoring in my ear

Someone I know

Someone I hold dear.

Someone becoming a stranger again.

I wonder how many nights I’ll imagine you in my bed until I don’t anymore?

I wonder how many nights you’ll miss me until you don’t anymore?

I wonder how many nights you’ll sleep alone until you won’t anymore?

I wonder how long it’ll take me to get your shape out of my head

Your voice out of my ears

Your taste out of my mouth

Your smell out of my nose

When will I lose the urge to tell you about everything that reminds me of you?

When will I be ok with being alone again?

All of me.

Every freckle, every bruise, every inch of skin and every pinch of fat and every scar and every piece of me. 

[love] me for how I look at [you] while [we]’re fucking and [love] me for how I look at [you] when [we]’re on the subway making jokes that only [we] understand.

[love] me for how I look when I’m not looking back. 

[love] me for how I act in a moment where it feels like everything is right in its place.

[love] me for how I act when I feel like everything is falling apart. 

[love] me when I’m happy, [love] me when I’m sad, [love] me when I’m confused, [love] me when I’m excited, [love] me when I’m angry, [love] me when I don’t know what I am. 

[love] me when I feel strong and love me when I feel fragile. 

Please,