Personal Shit @hmmaybelater - Tumblr Blog

kayvsworld

my body, tearfully: when sleep???

me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity

my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????

rizaoftheowls

me: okay, finally now is sleep

my body: no. wrong.

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dankmemesreasonforliving

So my brain and I have a fun game we like to play

It’s really great- all you have to do is

1) get significantly less sleep than is healthy

2) feel like shit the following day

3) start to lose some self-control

4) repeat

BUT HERES THE KEY:

be very, very surprised when you continue to repeat the cycle and feel shitty again the next day

#please dont do any of this #im a bad role model #dumbass

My mother’s talents include:

•Walking into my room, then walking out and leaving the door open

•Walking into my room and opening the blinds then not closing them when I ask her to

•Going through my room when I’m not home

•Threatening to take away my car (which I need for school) if I don’t do things within a set timeframe (ie the dishes by 5:30 when it’s 3:00 and I’m doing homework)

•Threatening to take my phone away because I irritate or inconvenience her

•Demanding to know all passcodes to my phone and anything on it

•Claiming that access to transportation and clothing is a privilege (I shop for clothes MAYBE twice a year- and that just means like 2 pairs of jeans and a few shirts)

• “I don’t have to do/provide XYZ for you, it’s not my responsibility” -Yes. You do. For the next 8 months and some odd days. You do.

•Ruining my mood in less than 30 seconds

hmmaybelater

I’m really tired of being so fucking annoying

hmmaybelater

UPDATE: I’m dumb lmao I’ll just shut up

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I am not a complex being

I don’t need elaborate surprises, or grand gestures. It’s the little things that matter. I want hugs that feel like they’ll never end because everything is safe, at least 4-6 hours of sleep and 1, maybe 2 meals a day. I don’t want giant posters, or dozens of flowers. I want to hear your voice and fall asleep next to you… I just want you. I don’t really need much else

I’m really tired of being so fucking annoying

My brain hurts

Not even that it’s tired of thinking, it physically hurts

#possible concussion #im pretty certain is a concussion #parenting a toddler #dumb horse threw a temper tantrum on a dirt road smh #couldve had the decency to throw me onto the soft dirt field next to said road #but nOooOo

Do you ever just wonder why someone chose you to be a part of their life??

Literally had I made one different decision in my life and that could’ve never happened and idk where I’d be rn

I think it’s interesting that it seems to always be the people who have no clue they’re doing it, who end up being the ones helping you the most when you need them

.

#im sorry #ik im annoying #and always too tired

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hmmaybelater

My soul feels tired

I feel like that comes across as concerning but I just… the news is very bad these days and my joints are always achy and basically I feel like I’m internally an old man

hmmaybelater

The thing is is that I keep thinking about that post that says something (very loosely) like if you’re not angry about what’s happening in the media you’re not paying attention… but the thing is I think I’ve paid too much attention and my brain is just very exhausted and I’m tired of being reminded how hateful people can be

#ignore me #kaitlyn be quiet #being angry is exhausting guys seriously

My soul feels tired

I feel like that comes across as concerning but I just… the news is very bad these days and my joints are always achy and basically I feel like I’m internally an old man

#ignore me #i promise this isnt suicidal #im just tired of life rn #idk why everyones gotta hate each other #being angry is exhausting guys seriously

What if some day my kids feel the same about me as I do about my mom??

Oh man gotta love panic attacks. 10/10 would not recommend

#like hey #youre yelling so ill just be up here #hiding in the dark per usual #kaitlyn shut up #ignore me

crocus-crown

things that are totally normal after panic attacks!

crying. this is the way a lot of bodies cope with emotional stress and it’s okay to need to cry even after you think the panic attack has passed and you’re fine now

feeling sleepy. panic attacks take a lot of emotional and even physical energy even if you don’t feel like you’re doing anything! your body has to work hard to make your muscles tense up and your heart beat faster

being hungry, for the same reasons above

being grumpy or feeling angry. you’re probably tired, per above, and being in a panic attack causes many people to throw up emotional barriers to help cope with the feelings of fear and panic.

none of these things mean you are weak or bad or that there is anything wrong with you! if you are getting over a panic attack, please allow yourself recovery time if you can, as soon as you can.

sip a drink to tell your brain that there’s no threat, and you don’t need to be on edge. get yourself a snack if you need one. and, if you can, let yourself take a nap. your brain wants extra time to file away all the information associated with the panic attack, to compartmentalize it so it doesn’t stress you out as much anymore. let it do that without having to worry about other stuff for a bit, sleep is the best for that!

#panic attacks #useful #anxiety

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cherryliqor-deactivated20180108

“skip dinner and become thinner” more like “skip dinner and you have an eating disorder please get help”

cherryliqor-deactivated20180108

“a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips” more like “a moment on the lips is okay to have, please take care of yourself in this lifetime”

cherryliqor-deactivated20180108

“every time you eat you delay becoming skinnier” more like “every time you eat you give your body the nutrients it needs in order to survive, please keep surviving”

cherryliqor-deactivated20180108

“you’ll be able to wear whatever you want when you get to your ugw” more like “you’ll be able to wear whatever you want now because fashion =/= weight”