HisUntoldStories

The Get Away: Part Two

If there’s one thing I know to be true about this life is that I wasn’t promised the life I currently have. I’ve worked extremely hard to make my life more than what I thought it was going to be. A mother who at the time couldn’t afford to take care of me. An abusive father who was never always around. I didn’t come from money. I didn’t go to the best schools. I didn’t have everything handed to me with a silver spoon in my mouth. But like any other hard worker… I went to work every day worked like a slave in the cotton fields of the white man and made my own way. So something tells me if I continue on this path I’ll only being doing on thing… working for someone else who could give two shits as long as he’s making money. So what’s the way out of this?

Well everything has been great lately. Like the sun rising and moon setting, its perfection. I’m in a happier place than I was yesterday so that great also. But something still troubles me… The way I date… or lack thereof…

You may not understand so allow me to tell you a story:

               I moved here to Washington, D.C. in February to be closer to work and start life as an adult on my own. Now I may not be in the right city but for right now this is my life. I’ve been seeing this guy, Taylor for a little over a year now… He’s nice and sweet loves, sex more than most. Taylor is more than 10 years older than me… which for most people is a problem… but not for me… Taylor and I get together a couple of times and head out to his beach house in South Carolina… It’s simple actually… We have talk, ride bikes, sleep on the beach, have sex and come back home… For most people that’s perfect… not for me though. I’m not saying I didn’t have fun with Taylor but I longed for more. So eventually I stopped talking to Taylor because he just wasn’t enough.

So that’s the story, more or less… At night years old I should’ve been so happy that someone as good looking, nice, and kind would want to put up with me. I can be a little high maintenance at times. Taylor should’ve been enough. At 19 I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted, or where I was going. All I knew was where I came from and how I never wanted to go back there. That specific moment with Taylor was actually more than enough at that age, but yet I wanted more.

My question to myself here and the whole purpose of this is, Why wasn’t being happy enough?

Still to this day I can’t answer this simple question even at this very moment. I’m more than happy yet it just isn’t enough. That’s why I chose the color RED! Red to me is a color of wants and needs.  Red is the need for power, love, and glory… All things that I still long for even though I have each and every one. Red is the color of being needy even when all your needs have been met…. So today I need to let go of Red and move on to a color that’s a little brighter…

The Color of Love

Rainbows

                 Let’s start of simple… to most people I am just a black. What most people don’t know is that I am not just black… As time progressed and more and more cultures started coming to the United States, we noticed more variations in skin tones. People are very quick to assume that we are what they see, sometimes that is just not the case. I’ve never been really comfortable with being called Black or African American for that matter. Why? Well let’s see neither one of my parents are African… And neither am I didn’t move from Africa to America so why call me African American? By the color of my skin tone alone there is now way I am just Black… Which I’ve always known. I’ve been able to trace Native American and Caucasian in my family as well… So why am I still just black? This is just one part of my person problem the next to some is a little worse….

               The second part is a little more personal… Ever since sixth grade… I wondered what it would be like to be white… Completely white… not mixed just white. I wanted to have the pale skin, brownish blonde hair, blue, gray, or green eyes. I wanted that... Why can’t I be like that I asked myself daily… As I got older the questions were still around. I’ve always felt as though if I were white life what have been a little better. I would’ve gotten everything I wanted, I would’ve never be worried about being racial profiled, I wouldn’t even have to worry about if I could get the job after the interview. All these things I felt I wanted in life. Along with the physical attributes of being white. I thought maybe I would’ve had better and bigger. Now that I am older and dating I also think that if I were Gay and White maybe some people would be more accepting. It’s hard for me to want to go out to the bars and clubs anywhere in this country, but specifically right here in my new home state of California. Going out in West Hollywood for me is really hard. I don’t feel comfortable or like I fit in. I by clothes that make me look a little “Whiter”. I talk proper, very proper… and still I’m just the black guy… I don’t feel wanted, or liked. Not wanted in the community that is supposed to be all “accepting”… I even feel if I were Hispanic or Asian I’d have an easier time being accepted, but I am still just black.

You know it’s been awhile since I’ve last written anything. But being as though so much has happened I guess I finally have something to really say. Today I picked the color black to really describe this past weekend. Have you ever just felt like there’s someone you know you need to get away from but for some reason you just can’t? When you finally find the strength and courage to finally leave you still can’t because something else may be in the way..? Well that’s kind of where I am.

               I never painted my friend Ashton as a harmful, mean, or bad person. I always thought he was kind of the tough love, let me give it to you straight type of guy. That’s isn’t the case at all… He is the Bad guy. After Sunday, when he repeatedly put me down over and over again… (Even though he’s been doing the same thing for little over a year) I stood up for myself. I’ve finally had enough. You can’t tell someone to talk to you and when they finally tell you what’s been going on you put them down even further. It’s people like Ashton the have people like me depressed and afraid to ever be with anyone else.

               Now that I’ve have to courage and guts to finally get out of this situation, I’m a little bit happier. The quicker I get away from the negativity the better my life will be. Part of me thinks he’s this way because he has to make up for what he lacks… (Get your minds out the gutter) Personal Happiness.

I've always wondering what dating means and when  does it actually start. So here's my question maybe some will care to answer...

A heart knows not what it wants,

But only what it feels… It feels hopeless, useless, and broken

A heart knows not its purpose,

To beat, to bring life, to supply emotions

A heart knows not its place

A brain it wants to be, the air it wants to breathe, the eyes it wishes to see

A heart knows not its potential,

To gain love, to gain joy, to gain happiness,

A heart knows not a damn thing

To a life without LOVE?

The Color of Love

(The Safe Haven)

                No matter who we meet in life, there will always be one person who will be there for us. She’s strong and very powerful and can only love you. If she makes a wrong decision you have to understand it was made with a good intention behind it. This woman is your mother. Today I will be telling the story of an all knowing and all powerful goddess.

                In this world of God and Goddesses this woman conquers all. Her some Prince Olympus is a man like no other. He’s wise for his age and very grateful and kind-hearted. Sometimes he can stray away from the way he was brought up. His mother Adriana is the Queen of this world. Her husband died twenty years ago to save his only son.

                “Mother why can’t I ever leave our lands? I know you’ve told me over and over but it just doesn’t make any sense.” Says Prince Olympus. He knows this story and answer very well. He cannot leave his land because he father died and gave him the only power to protect it.

                “My dear boy… Your father gave his life so that you would have everlasting protection from any darkness. He knew that if he died you would stay and protect us. I am getting weaker as I grow older and some day you will have to take over as King.”

                After this conversation Prince Olympus decided to test the water. He went to the edge of his kingdom and stepped across the border. Nothing happened. He continued west to the mountains to which he was named after. It had been his dream to see the great mountains. Mt. Olympus was said to hold a magical spell to allow anyone freedom from their gifted powers. All Prince Olympus wanted was to be normal like the other men in his town. To be married and grow old with the love of his life.

                Back at home Queen Adriana was sleeping when a storm started to brew over the ocean on the East Coast. That had never happened before. She knew at that very moment that Prince Olympus had left town. She knew that if she didn’t find him and get him back in time, the kingdom would be destroyed.  She put on her clothing and grab the fastest horse and rode west. She knew exactly where her son was.

                She got to mount Olympus and discover the prince climbing his was up to the forbidden point. She knew that if he reach that point that he would have no power and wouldn’t survive. The Mountain was told to take away your gifted power, but without your gifts what would you be? Nothing! She raced and climbed as fast as she could to reach him. When she finally reached him she said

                “Olympus! Stop! You don’t know what you’re doing. If you get to the top of this mountain you will not make it. Son please listen to me. There is a great storm coming to the Kingdom we need to go back now!

“But mama I have to do this. I have to do what my heart is telling me. I have to follow my heart. And my heart isn’t with the kingdom.”

Without fail she rushed in front of him and pushed him away from the edge. She fell off the edge to save his life and to save their kingdom and all people in it. Her last words to her son were “I will always put you first. I will always love you!” Prince Olympus cried and screamed for the mountain to bring her back. But like all magic, it can’t bring back what is already lost. He climbed down the mountain and did not see her body. He rode back to the Kingdom and gave everyone the bad news. “She died to save me. She died to save us!”

                The point of this story is a mother will give her all to save her children. She will give everything she has, to make sure her children survive.

The Color of Love

(The Prince That Could Never Be Happy)

            Today I would like to tell you an old fairy tale about two people who wanted to be together but never could. Prince Harry was a very smart and charming man. Some saw him as the most loving and sweetest person they were to ever meet. After He had turned eighteen years old he knew he could no longer depend upon his family and left to start a life of his own. He moved to a magical place where evil seemed to rule the whole world. The King of this town was a nice man but the others around him in his court were the ones that were controlling him and the rest of the land. Prince Harry knew that life here would be hard and very unforgiving. A whole year of hardships and failures led him to travel once again. Not for good but on an adventure of happiness. To find someone who could love him no matter what mistakes he had made. He journeyed north to a small town called PetersTown.

          Everything in PetersTown was just as Prince Harry Imagined it. Full of love and kindness. People were very open to meeting Prince Harry. One person in particular was more excited than everyone else. King Miles. King Miles was the overseer of PetersTown. He was looking for someone who could rule next to him. He saw Prince Harry as the perfect match. They decided to start seeing each other. We all know that long distance never works. So they traveled back and forth seeing each other. Their love for each other grew so strong that Prince Harry was confused on what he should do. He wasn’t happy in his new town, but also knew that PetersTown wasn’t where he wanted to live either. He was never satisfied with just one place. He rode to PetersTown that night to see his King. He confessed to him that he were to move to a much larger city. One where he could be his own man and start something fresh and new.

          He tried to convince his love, his king to come along, but the King could not leave his people. He was already well and very stable here in PetersTown. So without thought Prince Harry left King Miles side and went to a Town of Dreams.

          When he arrived he knew that this was exactly what he wanted all along. A place where he is unknown to everyone and where he could start his own life. There wasn’t a day that Prince Harry did not think about King Miles. They wrote to each other all the time. Even in his new town Prince Harry still was not truly happy because his heart was with King Miles. Because Prince Harry was now established in the Town of Dreams he knew he couldn’t leave. Now all he can do is dream of a love he once had. Wish upon a star that maybe one day they will be together again in a land where they both could live happily ever after.

The Color of Love

By: Malik Washington

If everything in life has a color, what is the color of Love? Some may say it blue or red. Both acceptable color’s but for obvious reason. Blue because it can be sad and heartbreaking and red because it can be beautiful and full of life. Well I would have to say it’s Purple. One because I can’t agree with either or and two because they both exist in what Love really is to me.

Over the next couple of weeks I will be writing a lot about the different colors of love I see every day. To protect certain people, place, and things… I will refrain from using actually names other than my own. This is a representation of how I see things and can be totally different from what actually happens.

The Child of an Army

Little baby Carole with blue eyes and brown hair is only five years old. She know not whom here family is or where she really came from. All she knows is she has a Grandfather sweeter than sugar and a grandmother scarier than Michael Myers. Carole was left under the care of her grandparents while here mom raised the other two children she already had. She promised Carole I will be back for you when I am stable enough. Don’t forget that I love you. Baby Carole never forgot.

          Carole’s grandfather was an Ex-Navy man. He was sweet and kind, but also tough. He thought of Carole as one of his own daughters.

“Grandpa…” she called to him. “Where’s my mom? I want to be with my mom.”

“Well Carole come sit here and let me tell you a story,” Grandfather said. Grandfather picked Carole up and put her on his knee. As he always did to calm her down. He started bouncing her and made her giggle and laugh.

“Carole your mother really loves you. She wants to make things better for you. You will always see her. She doesn’t live that far. She wants you to have the best life she can give you.” Carole shook her head to seem to be agreeing with her grandfather, wiped her eyes, and climbed down.

The Promise of Tomorrow

All I've ever heard in life is “Tomorrow isn't promised today.” I believe otherwise. My name is Jillian Hall. I say this because something so strange happened to me last night. Falling asleep has always been hard for me, even when I was a kid. I’m twenty-two now and I live in New York City. I’m not really sure how to explain this, so let’s go back and look at what happened.

I’m six years old again on the beaches of South Carolina. My dad was in the Army and we were station in Fort Bragg. Going to the beach here wasn’t anything new for us. I remember swimming trying to push myself further and further. At one point I had noticed I had gone too far. That was the last thing I can remember about being alive. When I woke up it was like another normal day. Mom was cooking pancakes and eggs and dad was in uniform headed to work. I was sitting at the table and I got this strange urge to take a bath. I ran upstairs turned on the water and hopped right in. I closed my eyes and sank underneath the water. When I opened them I was in the water at the beach. I could hear my mom and dad yelling swim Jill swim. I eventually made it back to them. When I got to them it were as if I had gotten a second chance at tomorrow, but if I had died the first time how am I back here again.

I met this wonderful man the day I died. He told me

“Jillian Hill, I have been watching over you forever. Your life like you is very young. I know you know who I am. I am the water and the air. I am the land you play on and the sky you look up to. Your tomorrow was never promised for today, right? Wrong you are young girl. For as long as you shall believe in me your tomorrows are always promised. For whom should believe in me should have eternal life.”

Let’s just say I knew who “HE” was. I wasn't scared of this man and I knew he didn't care to harm me. From that day on I've been able to fix my mistakes in life just by closing my eyes and thinking of what he said to me that day. I never really died. He had shown me in my dream the night before beach that I would struggle in the waters.

White T-Shirt

  It’s a cold, wet, and rainy day here. It seems to be the gloomiest place on earth.

It’s Fall now and it’s been about two weeks since you left me.

The only thing I have left to remind me of you is your shirt.

The smell of a walk in the park near the hills.

Like everything else in life, your scent will soon fade from this shirt.

All that I will be left with is a memory of your touch and sweet pungency.

The way you would lay next to me like a hand grasping a pillow, will be all I can remember.

It’s Fall now and It’s been two weeks since you left me.

It’s cold, wet, and rainy here. It seems like I’m on the gloomiest place on Earth…