LOST & FOUND.

        (   sms   :      sheri.     )          god  if  i  know        (   sms   :      sheri.     )           try  asking  foley

         (   sms   :      tony.     )          what about  a  cheesy  rom - com?          (   sms   :      tony.     )          the  crestmont  is  always  showing  them

            EVEN AFTER HANNAH WAS GONE, rachel felt  weird coming up to the people who had been on her tapes . . people who were associated with those tapes  she never knew what to say, she never knew how to approach them even if it was just to talk about how they KNEW hannah. she wasn’t much like her mother, at least in the beginning, who grilled people, who wanted to pressure them for answers. there are always TWO SIDES to every story, rachel understood that even if everything inside of her wanted to take her sisters word over anyone else.  ;   ❝ uh, excuse me . .❞  a lock of brown hair is brushed behind her ear, mossy hues settling on the male who sat at the table inside MONETS from where she stood beside the table. in hand, she holds a,list that contains names━people she wanted to talk too.  ❝ your ryan, right?  i’m uh, i’m RACHEL BAKER━i was. i am . . hannah’s older sister. ❞  nerves had crept up her spine, settling a uneasiness inside her chest.  ❝ you knew my sister, didn’t you? she said on the tapes that you && her wrote poetry together often. ❞  a wears a subtle, saddened smile to show the other she wasn’t coming after him . . more so, just wanting to talk && make conversation.  / @hispoem  liked this !! ♡

       (   sms   :      kit  kat     )          i’m  sorry  who  is  this??

       (   sms   :      hannah.     )         wow  baker        (   sms   :      hannah.     )          i  can’t  tell  if  you’re  drunk  or  just  insane

       (   sms   :      zach.     )          why  am  i  not  surprised  this  is  you  dempsey       (   sms   :      zach.     )          it’s  going  nothing  like  that

“CAN YOU HEAR WHAT THEY’RE SAYING?”    

you aren’t supposed to be here,       but it’s not the first time you’ve defied your parents wishes      (     sneaking junk food hardly compares to sneaking into the court house,        but you know your mother will react just the same.     )       you hated the idea of not being included,       and there’s so much irony to the thought.      isn’t that what got you into this mess   ——     the fear of being excluded,       the desire to be part of a crowd you knew you didn’t belong in?          you belong in this crowd,      because you all have something in common.        you have all made mistakes,     mistakes that hurt someone,       and most of you have found a way to own up to what happened and are looking for ways to make it right.       it’s what is still destroying you,     knowing that you’ve come this far and yet,     you don’t get to say what you’ve been needing to say for the past six months.       you don’t remember what you felt when you first heard those tapes,       you don’t remember how your life fell apart right before you and how those words HAUNTED you until the guilt swallowed you whole.       all you remember  is that you’re recovering from a desperate attempt to be punished for what you’ve done in the past,      and that means you have to do something about it now.       you survived for a reason;       it was to protect hannah’s memory.

❝   maybe if i could hear from my left ear.    ❞        it’s meant as a joke,      one that you’re hardly aware could be insensitive,     especially given where you sit on the outside of the courtroom,       but you’ve found that it’s so much easier to cope by poking fun at yourself than to accept that this is what you’ve made of yourself now.       ❝   what do you think they’re talking about now?     how much more proof do they need that this fucking school is a joke?   ❞        a sigh,     your shaking hand moving to brush your hair away from your forehead.      ❝    i wish i could testify.      i’ve got a lot of shit i’d like to say.    ❞        IF ONLY YOU REMEMBERED MOST OF IT.        ❝     what are you going to say?  ❞

  ⤷ @hispoem

          you  had  been  sitting  there  for  over    an  hour  now  ,      just  waiting  to  go  in .      you  had  already  seen  what  they  had  done  to  people  on  the  stand  ,      what  they  had  done  to  courtney  ,     to  what  marcus  had  said  .          (        SOMETHING  WHICH  NOBODY  WOULD  FORGIVE .      the  tapes  had  told  you  all  that  you  needed  to  know  ,    yet  he  still seemed  to  be  trying  to  cover  his  own  ass .        )         gaze  shifts  to  look  at  him   ,      just  short  of  a  laugh  finding  itself  falling  through  lips .             ❝     yeah  i  don’t  think  your  left  ear  is  the  PROBLEM .       ❞         was  still  surprised  that  they  hadn’t  called  him    - - -          although  also  UNDERSTOOD  it  in  a  way .         they  were  still  protecting  him  in  any  way  they  saw  fit .       everyone  knew  how  it  almost  ended   ---        and  how  nobody  wanted  to  RELIVE  it .

               ❝     what  the  fuck  do  you  think  happened  ,    jensen    ?      did  you  think  that  NOTHING  would  happen  if  you  released  them  ?      i’m  ALL  HERE  for  social  justice  or  whatever  but  it  wasn’t  your  place .       ❞     your  gaze  narrows  in  his  direction ,     grip  on  bag  strap  tightening .              ❝     seriously  dude  ,       think  about  what  you’re  doing   ;              i  know  that  the  case  is  IMPORTANT  to  you  but  everyone  had  a  connection  to  hannah  ,     not  just  you .     ❞

              it  felt  as  if  your  life  had  been   filled  with  bad  luck  since  the  tapes  came  out  ,      since  it  felt  as  though  the  entire  world  crashed  around  them .           (             what  you  did  ,     what  you  all  did     - - -         whilst  stupid    &    trivial  at  the  time        /        it  contributed  to  something  much  bigger  at  play  .        )         but  nothing  had  been  PERFECT   ,      everything  just  seemed  to  pile  atop  itself  ,     leaving  you  wondering  at  night  what  else  you  could’ve  done       /       what  anyone  could  have  done  to  stop  it  before  it  happened .         ❝      you  think   ?       ❞

gaze  turns  to  watch  him ,     a  shake  of  your  head  following .              ❝     or  maybe  the  BAD  LUCK  is  just  from  whatever  shit  we’ve  all  done  in  our  pasts .     ❞