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ੈ✩‧₊˚ welcome to my blog ˚₊‧✩ੈ
hi sweetheart, i'm mei ♡
she/her | 18+ | stray kids writer
Noah Kahan

roma★
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@hisonlybutterfly
Navigation ✧ Masterlist
ੈ✩‧₊˚ welcome to my blog ˚₊‧✩ੈ
hi sweetheart, i'm mei ♡
she/her | 18+ | stray kids writer
this blog is a collection of fantasies, poor decisions, ruined sheets, soft kisses, jealous touches and emotional devastation (angst).
mostly writing for stray kids, mostly losing my mind over bang chan, and mostly here to feed your boyfriend-idol delusions.
if you enjoy:
ೃ⁀➷ filthy romance
ೃ⁀➷ possessive boys
ೃ⁀➷ forbidden touches
ೃ⁀➷ fluff that makes you giggle into your pillow
ೃ⁀➷ angst that attacks your chest
then stay awhile.
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ navigation ˚₊‧✩ੈ
♡ about me
a girl with not enough self control.
My playlist 💋
♡ requests 💌
currently open.
♡ ask box 🎁
always open for thirst and your fantasies.
♡ masterlist
ongoing works and one shots listed below.
━━━━━━━━━━━
ੈ✩‧₊˚ current works ˚₊‧✩ੈ
➷ pick your pleasure [ongoing]
a series of indulgent stories where every fantasy gets a door.
— bang chan ~ one / two / three ...
— lee know ~ one / two / three ...
— changbin ~ one / two / three ...
— hyunjin ~ one / two / three ...
more members coming soon...
━━━━━━━━━━━
ੈ✩‧₊˚ one shots / drabbles ˚₊‧✩ੈ
♡ because he loves me like this ~ Chan x reader x minsung
♡ coming soon
♡ coming soon
━━━━━━━━━━━
ੈ✩‧₊˚ Full stories ˚₊‧✩ੈ
everything but forever ~ Changbin x reader
◇ more coming soon
━━━━━━━━━━━
ೃ⁀➷ Skz texts / reactions
Best friend skz :
They confess to you :
Hyung line ver.~ pt.1
Maknae line version ~ pt.1
You send them a risky image
Hyung line ver. ~ pt. 1
Maknae line ver. ~ pt. 2
Boyfriend skz :
Clingy skz ~ one
Jealous skz ~ one
✓ more coming soon
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ rules ˚₊‧✩ੈ
ೃ⁀➷ mdni
ೃ⁀➷ be respectful
ೃ⁀➷ requests may take time
ೃ⁀➷ reblogs and feedback are adored
ೃ⁀➷ do not repost my work anywhere
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settle in, darling.
pick your pleasure... ♡

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
✦ YOU SEND THEM A RISKY TEXT (maknae line ver.)
hyung line ver.
warnings: none, just fluff
note: fictional fake texts, made by me. teasing. a bit of flirting (if you squint hard enough) . lowercase intended. skz are reader's best friends
⊹ ࣪ ˖ ───────── ✦ ───────── ˖ ࣪ ⊹
- jisung
─── ♡ ───
— felix
─── ♡ ───
— seungmin
─── ♡ ───
— jeongin
reblogs and feedback are appreciated ♡
requests and taglist are open.
my beautiful taglist ~ @procrastinatingtomato , @skrach84 , @hyunjinswife4ever , @cardtak
✦ YOU SEND THEM TEXT( hyung line ver.)
maknae line ver.
warnings: none, just fluff
note: fictional fake texts, made by me. teasing. a bit of flirting (if you squint hard enough) . lowercase intended. skz are reader's best friends
⊹ ࣪ ˖ ───────── ✦ ───────── ˖ ࣪ ⊹
Author's note : This was something like a rushed post because I haven't been updating on Tumblr. Trust I've been writing but Tumblr keeps clearing my drafts so I'll post a few of these before the oneshots, ignore the time people, I was procrastinating editing the texts
— bang chan
─── ♡ ───
— lee know
─── ♡ ───
— changbin
─── ♡ ───
— hyunjin
reblogs and feedback are appreciated ♡
requests are open.
my beautiful taglist ~ @procrastinatingtomato , @skrach84 , @hyunjinswife4ever , @cardtak
ੈ✩‧₊˚ Everything but forever ˚₊‧✩ੈ
part two — seats at the same table
part one here
masterlist
“you don’t realize when you stop being a guest. you only notice when they stop looking at you like you belong.”
seo changbin x reader
warnings: family pressure, subtle discomfort
⊹ ࣪ ˖ ───────── ✦ ───────── ˖ ࣪ ⊹
The first time you met his parents properly, nothing felt wrong.
That was the problem.
Changbin had warned you it would be casual — just dinner, just family, just introductions that didn’t mean anything too heavy — and you had believed him because he looked too relaxed in the passenger seat, one hand on the steering wheel, the other tapping lightly against your thigh whenever the traffic lights turned red. His hair had fallen slightly across his forehead that day, soft brown strands brushing his eyebrows in a way that made him look younger than he actually was, and when he smiled at you, it was the same smile he gave you at home. Easy. Certain.
“You’re thinking too hard,” he had said when you went quiet halfway through the drive.
“I’m not,” you replied, even though you were.
He reached over without looking, fingers brushing yours briefly before settling back on the wheel. “They’re going to like you,” he added, like it was already decided.
You didn’t answer that.
His apartment was already familiar to you by then, but his parents’ home wasn’t. It was quieter in a different way — not empty, just careful. The kind of quiet that made you straighten your posture without realizing it. His mother opened the door before you could even raise your hand to knock properly, and the warmth of her smile made you relax for half a second before she was already pulling you inside, speaking too quickly for your brain to fully catch up.
“Ah, so this is her,” she said, looking at you in a way that wasn’t sharp, just observant. “You’re prettier than in photos.”
Changbin groaned softly beside you. “Mom.”
“What? I’m just saying.”
His father appeared behind her a moment later, calm and polite, greeting you with a small bow of the head that made you mirror it out of instinct. “You must be tired,” he said, already stepping aside to let you in further. “Come in, dinner is ready.”
Everything after that felt normal in the most dangerous way.
You took off your shoes neatly. You followed Changbin to the dining area. You sat when they told you to sit. You smiled when they looked at you. His mother placed dishes on the table one after another like she had been preparing them all day, occasionally asking you questions that sounded simple but lingered longer than expected — where you were from again, how long you planned to stay in Korea, whether your family visited often.
You answered carefully at first, then more naturally when Changbin’s foot nudged yours under the table like a reminder that you didn’t need to be perfect here.
He was sitting close enough that you could smell the faint cologne he always used, something clean and slightly sweet underneath the scent of food. His hair was parted messily now, falling across his forehead every time he leaned forward to reach for something, and at one point he brushed it back with the back of his hand while listening to his father talk about work. His lips, slightly fuller when he wasn’t speaking, curved easily whenever he laughed at something his mother said, and each time he looked at you, it was brief but steady, like a quiet check-in: you okay?
You always nodded.
At first, it was just dinner.
Changbin’s mother asked if you liked the food, and when you said yes, she smiled like that mattered more than it should have. His father asked about your work, and when you explained it, he listened properly instead of interrupting, which made you more comfortable than you expected. Changbin stayed between you and the conversation sometimes, translating when your Korean slipped or slowing things down when questions came too fast.
“Don’t overwhelm her,” he said lightly at one point when his mother started talking about future plans too quickly, and she waved him off with a small laugh like he was still a child complaining at the table.
“I’m not overwhelming her,” she said. “I’m just curious.”
“She’s not an interview subject,” Changbin muttered, but there was no real heat in it.
You smiled at that, because it sounded like him — protective.
Still, somewhere between the second and third dish, something shifted slightly, not in what was said, but in how it was said. His mother started asking more follow-up questions than necessary, small things that lingered a second too long. His father began nodding more thoughtfully when you answered, like he was placing your words somewhere in his mind instead of just hearing them.
And Changbin, who had been relaxed at the start, started eating slower.
You noticed it first when his hand, resting near his plate, stopped tapping like it usually did.
“You’re quiet,” you whispered under your breath when his mother stood up to bring more food.
He glanced at you, expression unreadable for a second before he leaned slightly closer, voice low enough that only you could hear. “Just full,” he said, but his eyes didn’t match the sentence.
You nodded anyway.
Because nothing was wrong yet.
That was the truth you kept returning to.
Nothing was wrong.
After dinner, his mother insisted you sit longer, asking more casual questions now — things about your daily routine, your plans, your impressions of Korea. She laughed often, touched your arm lightly when she made a point, and told you more than once that you were easy to talk to, which should have made you feel comfortable.
But there were moments, small and unspoken, where her gaze lingered just a second too long after you answered something.
Moments where she would look at Changbin instead of you after speaking.
Moments where she would smile and say things like, “It must be hard being far from your family,” in a tone that sounded kind but felt like it was leading somewhere you couldn’t quite see yet.
Changbin answered most of those moments for you without being asked, his voice steady but slightly more careful than before. When his father asked if you planned to stay in Korea long-term, Changbin answered before you could, laughing lightly as if it was obvious.
“She likes it here,” he said. “Right?”
You nodded, because it was easier.
But when you glanced at him after, he was already looking at his plate again.
On the drive back later that night, he was quieter than he had been on the way there.
His hand rested on the gear shift, fingers tapping once, then stopping. His hair had fallen forward again, shadowing part of his face under the dim streetlights, and you watched him for a while before speaking.
“Did I say something weird?” you asked.
He blinked, then shook his head quickly. “No. Why?”
“I don’t know,” you said. “It just felt… different.”
He reached over then, not looking at you, fingers brushing the back of your hand briefly like a reflex. “You did fine,” he said after a pause. “They liked you.”
You let out a small breath. “You say that like you’re trying to convince me.”
He finally glanced at you then, and for a second his expression softened into something almost familiar again, almost like before dinner had happened. “I’m not,” he said. “I’m just telling you.”
You nodded, leaning back into the seat.
Outside, the city moved past in soft streaks of light, and Changbin kept driving with one hand on the wheel, the other resting near yours like it always did.
But neither of you said anything for the rest of the ride.
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reblogs and comments are appreciated ♡. i honestly want to know what you guys think about it. Sorry for the short chapter but suspense must be placed ❤️
requests are open.
my beautiful taglist ~ @procrastinatingtomato , @skrach84 , @hyunjinswife4ever , @cardtak
Taglist available y'all
ੈ✩‧₊˚Everything but forever˚₊‧✩ੈ
⊹ ࣪ ˖ ───────── ✦ ───────── ˖ ࣪ ⊹
— part one: the things that change
seo changbin x reader
genre: angst
warnings: anxiety, mentions of familial tension
word count: 4k+
“some endings do not arrive like storms.
some sit down beside you in the middle of an ordinary night and wait for you to notice them.”
⊹ ࣪ ˖ ───────── ✦ ───────── ˖ ࣪ ⊹
Changbin came home later than he said he would.
You were still on the couch when the door finally opened, the room dim except for the glow of the television that you weren’t really watching anymore. The popcorn in your lap had gone soft, and your phone had already gone untouched for the last hour because you’d told yourself you’d wait for him “just a bit longer.”
The lock clicked.
You looked up automatically. “You’re late.”
Changbin stepped inside, paused briefly like he was resetting himself, then shut the door behind him. “I know,” he said, but his voice didn’t carry the usual teasing apology.
That alone made you sit up a little straighter.
He bent down to take off his shoes carefully, lining them up the way he always did. It was such a small thing, but you noticed it more tonight — the slowness of it, the way he wasn’t rushing into you like he usually did.
“Was dinner that bad?” you asked lightly, trying to keep it normal.
“It wasn’t bad,” he said, but he didn’t look at you when he said it.
You frowned slightly and shifted the blanket off your legs. “That’s suspicious. You always complain about something.”
He let out a quiet breath, like he might laugh but decided not to. “Maybe I’m growing up.”
“That sounds fake,” you said, and that finally got him to glance at you properly.
There was a second where something almost softened on his face, like muscle memory trying to return. But it didn’t fully land.
You stood up. “Did your mom pack anything? She always sends you back with half the kitchen.”
“I forgot to bring it,” he said, and walked past you into the kitchen.
You followed him after a beat. “You? Forget food?”
He opened the fridge, stared inside for a few seconds too long, then closed it again without taking anything. “It happens.”
“No, it doesn’t,” you said, leaning on the doorway now, watching him instead of the fridge. “Not to you.”
That made him pause.
He leaned back against the counter, exhaling slowly. “I’m just tired.”
You nodded, but didn’t fully believe it. “You’ve been ‘just tired’ a lot lately.”
“I’ve been busy.”
“I know.”
A small silence settled between you two. Not uncomfortable yet — just unfamiliar, like a seat you’d sat in a hundred times suddenly felt slightly different.
You stepped closer. “Did something happen?”
He shook his head too quickly. “No.”
That answer came too fast.
You noticed that too.
So you reached up, like you always did when something was off, and brushed your thumb lightly between his brows. “You’re doing that thing again.”
“What thing?”
“Thinking too much and pretending you’re not.”
A faint breath of a laugh left him, but it didn’t fully form. He caught your wrist gently, not stopping you, just holding it there for a second longer than necessary. “I’m fine,” he said again, softer this time.
You didn’t argue. Not because you believed him — but because something in his tone told you he wasn’t ready to be questioned properly. Instead, you just nodded. “Okay.”
When he said he was going to shower, you moved aside automatically, letting him pass. He brushed his fingers lightly against yours as he walked by — instinctive, absent — and disappeared down the hallway.
A moment later, the shower started.
You stood in the kitchen longer than you meant to.
His phone was still on the counter. It buzzed once.
Then again.
You didn’t mean to look, but your eyes caught the name before your brain could decide not to.
엄마 (mom)
The screen lit up again. A message came through.
Call me when she's asleep.
You stared at it for a long moment, not moving. Then another message appeared right under it.
We need to talk seriously this time.
The shower kept running in the background.
You swallowed once, slowly, and placed his phone back down exactly where it was.
Like nothing had happened.
Like your chest hadn’t tightened for no clear reason.
Like you hadn’t suddenly started noticing how quiet the apartment felt.
When Changbin came out later, towel over his shoulder, hair damp, he looked at you like everything was normal again.
“Why are you still awake?” he asked, walking over.
You forced a small smile. “Waiting for you.”
He hummed, like that made sense, and sat beside you on the couch, pulling you into him without thinking. His hand rested on your knee automatically, warm and familiar, like it always did.
You leaned into him because that part of your body didn’t know anything was wrong yet.
But his phone stayed face-down on the counter.
And you couldn’t stop looking at it when he wasn’t.
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My beautiful taglist ~ @procrastinatingtomato , @skrach84 , @hyunjinswife4ever , @cardtak

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Everything but Forever ~ Changbin x reader
— seo changbin x fem!reader
genre: angst, established relationship, non-idol au elements, comfort/no comfort, breakup, family conflict
warnings: themes of xenophobia/cultural rejection, mentions of marriage pressure, crying, emotional distress, unresolved heartbreak, open ending
word count: 20k+
Song suggestion: Let the world burn by Chris Grey
Based on this request
«sometimes love does not end because it disappears.
sometimes it ends because the world around it leaves no room for it to stay.»
⊹ ࣪ ˖ ───────── ✦ ───────── ˖ ࣪ ⊹
you had everything people envied.
a relationship that felt easy, friends that became family, a man who loved you without hesitation, and a future that seemed so certain you stopped being afraid of it.
until one day, in the quietest way possible, you realize that being loved by seo changbin and being chosen by his world are two very different things.
and no matter how tightly he holds your hand, there are some doors love cannot force open.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Masterlist
✧ Part one
✧ Part two
✧ Part three
✧ Part four
My beautiful taglist ~ @procrastinatingtomato, @skrach84 @hyunjinswife4ever, @cardtak
── ⋆⋅𖤓⋅⋆ ── ≔ 【 ❤︎ 】 pairing : (boyfriends) stray kids x (zookeeper!girlfriend) female reader ◟ genre : fluff ◟ screenshot count : 7 ⬩➤ 「 warning 」 ᝰ. poly relationship and not proofread ◟ 🔖 for: @yawwni
∿۶ৎ🏷️ @wobblewobble822, @firstclassjaylee, @niku0704, @emeraldgem22, @scarlettuce-lettuce, @juju-227592,@geni-627, @iconicallyher, @danielle143, @sammhisphere, @maggicotton, @unenthusiasticmigraine, @zayn-210, @tearsofgenshin, @theaknowsstuff, @instabull
I love fluffy poly skz
✦ SKZ CONFESS TO YOU ~ with a twist (maknae line)
hyung line ver.
warnings: none, just fluff , btw, if you're homophobic, don't read this
note: fictional fake texts, made by me. teasing. a bit of flirting . lowercase intended. skz are reader's best friends
⊹ ࣪ ˖ ───────── ✦ ───────── ˖ ࣪ ⊹
— jisung
─── ♡ ───
— felix
─── ♡ ───
— seungmin
─── ♡ ───
— jeongin
✦ SKZ CONFESS TO YOU ~ with a twist (hyung line)
maknae line ver.
warnings: none, just fluff , btw, if you're homophobic, don't read this
note: fictional fake texts, made by me. teasing. a bit of flirting . lowercase intended. skz are reader's best friends
⊹ ࣪ ˖ ───────── ✦ ───────── ˖ ࣪ ⊹
— bang chan
─── ♡ ───
— lee know
─── ♡ ───
— changbin
─── ♡ ───
— hyunjin
risky reader — stray kids
— you send a risky text to your boyfriend and the wrong stray kid has his phone to read it.
warning: nsfw themes!
☼☽⋆。°✧ ✧⋆°。☾☼

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
✦ SKZ AS YOUR BOYFRIEND TEXTS
— when he’s jealous
warnings: jealousy (mild), possessive undertones, teasing, dry humor, soft tension, lowercase texting
note: fictional scenarios only. do not romanticize real jealousy in real life
♡ ───────── ♡
— bang chan
─── ♡ ───
— lee know
─── ♡ ───
— changbin
─── ♡ ───
— hyunjin
─── ♡ ───
— jisung
─── ♡ ───
— felix
─── ♡ ───
— seungmin
─── ♡ ───
— jeongin
reblogs and comments are appreciated ♡
requests are open.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ because he loves me like this˚₊‧✩ੈ `
pairing: bf ! bangchan x fem gf! reader x minsung
genre: smut, with a teensy bit of fluff
warnings: Minors DNI ,+18, fluff, smut, cursing, swearing, established relationship, unprotected sex, oral sex (MMCs receiving), fingering clitoral stimulation, anal, anal plug, threesome, foursome (consented to) , cuckolding, size kink, double penetration, creampie, anal creampie, cum slut, cum kink, sharing, claiming , voyeurism, exhibitionism, a little bit of minsung (even though I hate shipping *sigh* 😞), literally just porn with plot 🤧. I probably forgot some but anyways...
word count: 10k+
summary:
You knew Chan always loved to share and when the opportunity presents itself for him to share his most prized possession, there was no reason to say no.
A/n : Summary is boring but swears the story is way better. It's very intense so if you're not comfortable with the warnings and all, kindly skip. Also I tried to limit the amount of implied minsung there so there might be a bit , if you look hard enough 😅
Suggested song : Positions by Ariana grande
♡ ───────── ♡
Minho and Jisung were sitting on your living room couch, watching you. Minho's hand was in Jisung's sweatpants, stroking him, and Jisung's hand was similarly moving in Minho's. The look behind their eyes was full of raw desire and hunger, making your insides feel all tingly.
Chan stood up from the opposite couch, taking you with him, carrying you bridal style. He kissed you as he walked, taking you right in front of them. He set you down, your feet touching the floor again.
"Is this something you really want, baby?" you asked, kissing Chan's jaw, your hand gripping the side of his t-shirt, the other slipping under it to feel his skin. He shivered as he melted under your touch, his head dropping down, his hands coming up to cup your cheeks. His lips found yours once more. "Yes, but only if you're really ok with it," he breathed into the kiss. You could feel his arousal through his sweats, bulging onto your lower stomach.
"I am, because it's something you want," you replied. "And I have to admit, I am not opposed to them sharing me at all, but I would never want it unless it's something you also want for us," you continued. Chan smiled against your lips before deepening the kiss. "How did I get so lucky with you?" he then whispered.
"If by lucky you mean you got yourself a woman who's willing to be shared by two of your chosen brothers, who also are in a relationship together, because you want to watch your woman get fucked by someone else, before getting to fuck her yourself..." you replied, making a breathy giggle release from deep down his throat.
"That's exactly what I mean," he replied, his hands trailing down to grab the hem of his t-shirt that you were wearing, pulling it up. "Then I guess the answer to it is, that you didn't get lucky. I did. I spent so long trying to get your attention, and when you finally saw me... I knew I had won," you admitted, blushing slightly as the t-shirt fell to the floor. Your bralette and a matching thong were all you had underneath.
Even though you were open to try anything, being the centre of not one, but three men's attention at once was apparently something that had your cheeks dusting with pink, the skin warming under Chan's palms as he again cupped your face.
"Trust me when I say this, it's me who won, babygirl. I'm already so fucking turned on even just by the thought of others touching you without me. And it shouldn't be arousing, which is why it's twisted, but you don't judge. They don't either, which is why I trust them with this, with you."
"I'd never judge, baby. And even though Minho and Ji will be included, at the end of the day, this is for you, for us," you breathed, drunk on the situation. You were already starting to dampen through your thong, the idea of being fucked by two other men who also had become your friends over the years while Chan watched...
Even if you'd never before been shared like this, it excited you, because it excited him. You had been shared before, of course, but never without him being one of the men sharing.
"You're absolutely certain of this? We can stop at any moment if you don't feel comfortable, just say the word," Chan asked, searching your eyes for any uncertainty or wavering. He didn't find any. "Yes. Are you? Certain?" you asked in return. "Yes," he exhaled.
"Guys?" he asked, not taking his eyes off yours. "We've been certain from the moment you asked, hyung," Jisung replied. Neither Chan nor you were looking at him or Minho, but you could hear he was smiling. Knew that Minho was too. Probably smirking.
Chan kissed you once more, and then turned you around, nudging you to take the few steps towards Minho and Jisung that still separated you. He stepped behind you, pushing his front flush to your back, his arousal pressing against your lower back through his sweats, as he cupped your left breast with his left hand. You arched into his touch.
His right hand snaked down your front, dipping into your thong. Your eyes closed as you inhaled sharply, his fingers brushing past your clit, through your folds to your entrance. Chan kissed your neck, murmuring into it. "Open your eyes, babe, look at Minho and Han while I prep you for them," he coaxed.
As you opened your eyes, your senses were almost overloaded as two of Chan's fingers dipped into you, just for a moment, before going back up to your clit where they started to circle. While you fought to keep your eyes open, you realized Jisung and Minho were both watching you, their gazes intense.
They still continued to stroke each other, and they had both lost their sweats and shirts, while you and Chan had been ensuring each other of your desire to continue with this. They were both naked, looking at you with such hunger it made your knees weak.
"She's already soaked," Chan groaned, grinding his hips to your ass, trying to get some friction, as his left hand let go of your breast, and snaked between you to unclasp the bralette hooks. You let the bralette fall, somehow losing your shyness along with it.
Jisung's eyes darted to your revealed breasts just as Chan cupped the underside of your left one, while Minho's eyes stayed where they were, on your nethers, where Chan's fingers again found their way inside you.
"Is she fully prepped?" Minho asked, arching a brow, spreading his legs to get more comfortable. Knowing what he meant, you replied, as you leaned onto Chan's chest. "If you're asking about my back door, then yes. You'll see in a moment." Chan chuckled. "Oh she is prepped. I made sure of it."
Chan pulled his fingers out of you, taking the fingers to his lips, sucking them clean. As he kneeled behind you, and started to pull your thong off, he continued in a voice lower than usual. "I can't thank you two enough for agreeing to this. But even so, I have three rules."
"One: no hurting her. She is mine, and any pain play is mine alone to indulge in with her." You stepped out of the thong and after kissing your right cheek, Chan got back up, discarding his own sweats while he was at it, your insides preening at the ownership he displayed over you. He didn't have underwear under his sweats, and his cock rested right above your ass, along your spine.
"Two: no marking her. Same as in number one, she is mine, and only mine to mark. No bruises, no hickeys, no nothing." He kissed each of your shoulders, then turned you for a final kiss, before twirling you back around and slapping your ass gently.
"Three: only I get to know what she tastes like." His deep voice gave you shivers as you watched the guys in front of you accept the rules, nodding together. "Anything else is ok. Kissing, fucking, fingers, anything, and if she asks for something and you're ok with it, go for it. Clear?" he continued.
"Clear, no pain, no marking, no licking or kissing down-under, everything else ok," Jisung replied. "Clear as day, indeed," Minho agreed, smirking.
Chan nudged you lightly with his hips. "Take the reins baby", he said, his voice so much gentler now that he was talking to you again. You nodded, and felt him move away from you. He sat on the recliner next to the couch the guys were sitting on, his very hard cock resting against his lower abdomen.
"May I?", you asked Jisung and Minho, both of whom nodded as a reply.
"Words, boys", you tutted. "Yes", they replied in unison. You smiled, cocking your head to the side, already sensing Chan was about to say something.
"Oh and one more thing. Not a rule, but something for you two to know. She is a cumslut, so please come inside her", Chan said. You could hear a smirk playing in his tone even without seeing him.
"Mmmh, that I am. And, you'll enjoy seeing their cum leaking out of me when you get to fuck me after watching them share me", you added, kneeling in front of Minho as he spread his legs wider to allow you to fit in between.
"You two are weird... but we like weird," Jisung commented, chuckling while his eyes fixated on your mouth, moving closer to Minho's cock that Jisung was still fisting. "We certainly do. I think that can be arrang— oh fuck," Minho groaned as you closed your lips around his tip.
Jisung retracted his hand, allowing you more space to take Minho's length into your mouth. Minho let Jisung's arousal go also, and squeezed his thigh. Your fingers wrapped around Jisung's cock and began to slowly pump, as your mouth descended on Minho, taking him deep right away.
Your nose met the skin around his base, and he let out a guttural moan. "Fuck," he exhaled, hissing as he inhaled when you came up. "She has no gag reflex," he groaned, and you smiled around his cock as you heard Jisung let out a shuddering breath while your hand worked around him.
"I know. I'm a lucky man," you heard Chan's voice reply, deep, husky, aroused to the extreme. You should have tried something like this a lot earlier. You would have agreed to anything when it came to him, if you knew it was something he wanted, needed.
I mean, you had already had a few threesomes with some of his other chosen brothers, friends, and you knew he enjoyed watching you get fucked and filled, but he had always participated before. Had you known he was into just watching before getting his own turn too...
You started to bob your head slowly, taking Minho's length to the back of your throat, sucking as you came up, licking the underside as you went down. Minho swept your hair into a makeshift ponytail to keep your hair out of your face so he could see better, so Jisung and Chan also could.
You kept moving your hand on Jisung, pleasuring him with your hand and fingers. You swiped your thumb along his slit, smearing the precum on the tip, making him hiss. "Holy shit, even her hand feels like... fuck it's so soft," he moaned. Chan let out a small chuckle. He was enjoying how the guys marveled at you. He was... proud.
With a plop, you released Minho's cock, letting it fall against his lower abdomen. "Shit. She's... you're...," he breathed, almost panted, looking down at you.
"Cat caught your tongue?" you asked, licking your lips. Chan chuckled at your quip. He liked it when you were lippy, especially with him.
"Can you scoot down a bit, Minho?" you then asked, still kneeling, letting Jisung's cock go as well. "Yes, I can, but why?" he asked as he slid on the couch, his deliciously thick, strong thighs working as he positioned his ass closer to the edge of the couch, but still keeping it on it.
You reached for a few pillows, and signaled for Minho to sit up. He did, and you placed the pillows behind him, then pushed his shoulder so he'd lean back. "So you can watch me sucking Ji while you fuck me from below," you replied, taking Jisung's hand that he offered for you to get up.
"Thank you Ji. Can you sit on top of the couch backrest right above Minho and spread your legs?" you asked, instructing them to get to positions you wanted them in for this. Chan said to take the reins, so you did.
He enjoyed seeing you take control, especially with others. With him? Sometimes, but mostly it was him dominating you. Which is exactly what you preferred, but the way he was willing, actually asked you to because he needed to, to let go of all control sometimes... the way he trusted you made your insides turn into butterflies, and melt into a puddle, at the same time.
"Oh, ohhh," Jisung exhaled, his pretty lips forming a perfect little 'o', realizing what you were after. You glanced back at your man as Jisung moved, positioning himself right above Minho's line of sight. "You want to watch from the back so you see Minho's dick disappearing into me, or from there so you can see everything else?" you asked, practically purring.
"I'm good right here, babygirl. Gosh, I adore you. You're so divine," he crooned. His hands were on his thighs, you knew he'd try to refrain from touching himself as long as possible, as it would heighten his pleasure once he'd finally get to join, or take you after the guys were done. He knew you'd ask him to join if you needed him, and he knew he could join whenever, if he needed, wanted to.
You took the few steps separating you to him, leaned down a bit, to kiss the corner of his lips. "I adore you," you replied, emphasizing 'you', to make sure amongst all that was happening, he knew that he was the one you wanted, the one you loved, needed, craved.
Chan lifted one of his hands to gently wrap it around your neck, to pull you into a proper kiss, before releasing both your neck and lips. He dropped his hand, and then nudged his chin up, to signal you to continue.
You pursed your lips, air kissing him as you moved away from him, back to Minho and Jisung again. Chan winked, and placed his hand back onto his thigh, a bit closer to his thick arousal than before. You turned back to Minho and Jisung.
Minho had closed his manspread a bit, making it easier for you to climb onto him. Jisung again offered you his hand, and taking it, you placed your feet on either side of Minho's body on the floor.
Minho watched you with pure lust as you let Jisung's hand go and leaned onto his chest, lowering yourself on him, lifting your legs on the couch, shins on it and your insteps on Minho's thighs. Jisung leaned back to the wall behind the couch.
You sat on Minho, your dripping wet cunt sliding over his hard cock as you leaned forward with an intention to kiss him. "Are you both ok with kissing?" you asked, your lips a breath away from his.
As a reply, Minho nudged his chin up, connecting your lips, while his hands grabbed your hips, pushing you down on him to get more friction. His lips opened for you, allowing you to dip your tongue inside his mouth, to glide along his.
"Hey, not cool, he's getting all your attention, bug," Jisung whined playfully. You huffed out a small laugh against Minho's lips, before pecking him once more and sliding a hand between you.
You sat up, your knees still on the couch next to Minho, and grabbed his cock. "Don't worry Ji, you'll get your attention and kisses soon enough," you replied, guiding Minho to your entrance.
Minho's breath hitched as you lowered yourself on him, slowly, making him feel every wet inch of you, taking his length to the hilt. You dropped your head back for a moment, reveling in the feeling of being completely filled.
"Fuck me sideways. Now I know what you mean that she's prepped," Minho groaned under you, making you lift your head back up and moan as you smiled, rolling your hips on him. You reached forward with one hand, cupping Jisung's balls gently, making him let out a hiss.
You moved your hand to his shaft, starting to gently pump him once more, while you rolled your hips on Minho, his fingers digging into the skin on your hips, his eyes rolling back. "Told you," Chan chuckled.
"What do you mean? Someone fill me in too," Jisung asked. "She has a plug in," Minho groaned, thrusting his hips up to meet your moves, making you let out a moan as he hit a sweet spot. "And it's structured, ahh, shit... fuck that feels good," he continued.
"Fuck. Ok you have to let me feel that too," Jisung almost whined, his cock leaking precum. "You'll have your turn in a moment," you purred, leaning forward, looking into Jisung's eyes. His eyes dropped down, and he licked his lips, ready to see and feel you go down on him with your nonexistent gag reflex.
Planting one hand on Minho's shoulder, and one under Jisung's thigh on the couch backrest to ground yourself, you licked Jisung's balls, continuing up his shaft, all the way to his tip. "Minho, can you please start to move? I can't properly focus on riding you if I'll deepthroat Jisung at the same time," you asked and explained. Without replying, Minho took control under you, starting to thrust up, slowly at first.
The tip of Jisung's hardness passed your open lips, and you sucked, gently, trying to look up under your lashes to see his reaction. His brows were scrunched together, a silent moan caught in his throat as he looked down, pure and delirious desire flushing his golden honey skin. You looked back down and took him in, slowly, all the way to the back of your throat and past it right away.
You heard Jisung curse under his breath before letting out a low moan. You came up, hollowing out your cheeks as you did, sucking him harder. While you started to bob your head, taking Jisung deep each time, moaning around him to send the vibrations through his cock to his soul, Minho picked up the pace under you, starting to thrust deeper, harder, and slightly faster.
"I didn't know it could be this hot watching Jisung from below, getting head, while I'm fucking the one giving said head," Minho panted. "Kitten, you're too good for us," he added, lifting himself up just slightly to kiss your left nipple, making you moan around Jisung's length.
While the euphoria of being so full, of having two cocks and one toy in you almost took over your mind, Chan and his pleasure in all this still stayed in the forefront of your thoughts. You turned your head just so, signaling Jisung to grab your hair. He did, and knowing what you wanted, he grabbed it so that it fell over his thigh that was furthest from Chan, giving him a clear view of you blowing Jisung.
"Mmmh, babygirl, you look so gorgeous getting fucked like that, sucking and taking cock so well," you heard Chan say. You smiled around Jisung's cock, taking him deeper once more, until your nose touched his base. Keeping yourself there, you let your tongue slide to his balls, licking them, and made a small choking sound. Not because you were choking, but because you knew it would send Jisung's arousal to the edge.
"Fuck," Jisung sighed as he moaned, pulling you up from your hair. The pull was gentler than you'd normally like, but he was adhering to Chan's rules of not hurting you. Minho continued to move, fucking his length into you, now slower, grinding so that he hit the deepest depths of your slick walls, the ridges of the plug inside your ass probably rubbing him just right. His pelvic bone was rubbing your clit with every grind, making your eyes roll to the back of your head.
Jisung leaned down, claiming your lips into a desperate, needy kiss. With a loud plop, he released your lower lip, and attached one of his hands on your breast, kneading it, feeling your hard nipple against his palm, between his fingers. You inhaled sharply as Minho thrusted up, hitting your cervix.
"Ji, she feels so good, fuck—," Minho groaned, looking up at Jisung, who in turn looked down between his legs, locking eyes with Minho. "She's so tight with the plug in her ass," Minho continued. You were still looking up, your hair in Jisung's fist, so you could see his eyes flashing, the need clearly becoming almost unbearable.
"I need to get my cock inside you, bug," Jisung said, leaning down to catch your lips into a searing hot kiss again, letting your hair go and grabbing your cheeks to pull you closer. "Then get inside me," you moaned, right onto his lips as Minho thrusted up and stayed there, halting to possibly avoid coming too early.
"I'm about to reach my first," you admitted, turning your head just enough to look at your man while you again lowered your lips around Jisung's cock as he leaned back to the wall.
Chan's hand was wrapped around his length, and very, almost torturously slowly rubbing it up and down. The sight made your mouth water and your insides clenched around Minho's cock.
He suddenly pulled out, lifting you from your waist. His cock landed onto his lower abdomen, smearing it with your slickness. You let out a small whine, disliking how empty you suddenly felt. You let Jisung's cock spring free from your lips, your saliva coating his lower abdomen. His eyes were half closed with pleasure.
"Fucking hell she loves you, hyung. She had one cock inside her and one down her throat, and the second she looked at you, her insides started to tighten, like she was about to come just because she saw you enjoying seeing her like this. Had to pull out before she milked me dry," Minho panted.
"I know. And I love her just the same, if not more," Chan replied, his thumb brushing over his slit, making him shift in his seat, manspreading more. He lifted one arm behind his head. How in the everloving fuck can he be so gorgeous? You are the luckiest fucking woman in the universe.
"I belong to him, body, heart, mind and soul," you replied, standing up. "You guys are so grossly in love," Jisung sighed as he stood up on the couch before plopping down to sit on it, next to Minho. "I love it," he added, before kissing Minho.
Minho kissed him back, before pushing Jisung back from his chest, breaking the connection of their lips. He got up, stood next to the couch, then turned to look at you, his cock deliciously swinging to one side with his movement.
"Time for Jisung to get his dick inside you too, no?" he smirked. "It is indeed," you replied, breathily. The orgasm that had started to build was ebbing away, but you didn't mind. The one that would no doubt soon come, would feel all the better for it.
"Ji, can you get up on your knees on the couch?" you asked, watching him do exactly that. You took one step towards him, turning your back to him. "Hey, I wanted kisses too," Jisung complained, a small whine and smile in his voice. You turned your head back. "You'll get them, sweetcheeks. In a moment. But first you can fuck me like this," you replied.
You extended your hand to Minho, and he took it, stepping closer to you. You then put both of your hands on his shoulders, and arched your back a bit, presenting yourself better to Jisung. He let out a sharp puff of air, hands landing on your behind. Kneading your cheeks, he spread them a bit, only to slightly tug on the plug that was in your ass. "It's glittery," Jisung chuckled.
You had a split second to catch the smirk playing on Minho's lips before he slotted them onto yours, one hand sliding to the back of your head, the other to the small of your back. At the same time, the tip of Jisung's cock appeared on your entrance. Teasing you and himself, he slid his hard length between your folds, his tip hitting your clit a few times, before finally pushing it in, holding you by your waist.
Jisung thrusted, slowly, bottoming out, while Minho's lips travelled from your lips to your jaw, to your neck. He kissed along the line of your neck, from below your ear to your shoulder, no doubt looking at either Jisung, or how he and you joined at the hips. Jisung halted inside you for a bit, and you actually felt a shiver run through him as his cock pulsed inside you. "Fuck, so tight. Minho you were right, she feels so fucking good and the ridges in the plug... Oh hell," Jisung breathed.
"Told you," Minho added, his voice sending shivers down your spine as he kissed a sensitive spot on your neck.
"Remember Minho, no marking," Chan then rumbled, and you turned your face to him, to allow Minho better access to the sensitive skin on your neck. "I know, hyung," he laughed, and you could feel his smile on your skin as he kissed and licked along your neck.
"You have sharp bunny teeth, I just want you to be careful with them. She's only mine to mark," Chan added, looking into your eyes as he continued to stroke himself. You smiled at his possessiveness.
"I know, but I won't bite her. Not even a nip. Just lips and tongue, I promi—" Minho replied, his sentence cutting short as you let one of your hands travel down his front, wrapping your fingers around the base of his cock.
Jisung started to move behind you, and you let out a low moan, starting to stroke Minho in the same pace as Jisung was thrusting into you. You continued to look at Chan, and seeing his eyes wander all over the scene before him made you absolutely feral.
You didn't know what the psychology behind it all was, but seeing your man watching you getting fucked by his closest friends, his chosen brothers... It was so... taboo. Maybe that's why it was also so very exciting for both of you.
Chan's eyes fixated on your behind where Jisung was pushing his hips to meet your ass for a moment before moving to the hand between you and Minho, which was pumping him in the same rhythm. It was so devastatingly, deliciously, deliriously arousing, the way he looked at you.
His eyes flicked to yours just when Minho kissed you again, and you were just able to see the way Chan's pupils dilated and his eyes widened, lips parting with a low moan slipping from his throat before Minho grabbed your chin to make you look at him as he slipped his hand that had been on the small of your back between you too.
Minho's fingers landed on your now extremely sensitive bundle of nerves, and he began to rub it, slowly, gently at first, before picking up the pace just as Jisung's hips started to thrust into you faster too. Minho was breathing heavily, his lips too far away for you to kiss, because he held you by your chin to be able to look into your eyes. Jisung was panting behind you, moans escaping his throat whenever the plug or your clenching pussy dragged along his length just so.
"Jisung," Minho then said, giving a quick peck to your lips before looking past you at Jisung, still holding your chin. You tried to look at Chan, but were unable to move your head in Minho's grip. "Yeah?" Jisung replied, his pace slowing down for a few thrusts. "Let's give our good kitten her first orgasm, shall we?"
"We shall. And then we can both fill her up," Jisung replied, and you heard the smile in his voice. "Exactly. Do that thing to her what makes me see stars too whenever you do it to me," Minho said, and started to circle your clit, his fingers dipping further down, alternating between spreading his fingers so he could feel where you and Jisung joined, and to give your bundle of nerves the exact pressure and stimulation you needed to be so, very close on tipping over the edge.
You had no idea how Jisung started to move within you, but suddenly he felt bigger, and you felt him deeper, grinding into you so perfectly that you whimpered between them, Minho catching your lips with his again, for just a moment, before letting your chin go and grabbing your waist right above Jisung's hand.
You continued to drag your hand up and down his cock, precum pearling his tip. You brushed over his slit to gather it as extra lubricant. Minho stepped a tiny bit closer, and whispered into your ear. "Look at Chan while we make you come for him, kitten," making your eyes roll to the back of your head.
You were assaulted with too many sensations at once. Jisung ground his hips into you in some sort of wave-like motion, making your insides clamp down on his cock, just as he tugged at the plug in your ass and slowly, oh so slowly, started to pull it out, before pushing it back in and pulling it slightly out again. Two of Minho's fingers, slick with your desire, caught your swollen clit between them, gently, but with enough pressure as he started to slightly move his fingers around it, that your knees almost buckled.
Minho's lips found the sensitive spot right below your ear again, and he kissed it, slightly sucking, without leaving a mark, before he blew cool air on it. You fought to keep your eyes open as your cheek landed on Minho's shoulder, so you could see Chan as you came. Chan let out a growl, but it came from so deep within his chest that you felt it in your core even though he was not even touching you.
And then, Jisung started to really move, his hips thrusting his length into you so fast you had a hard time staying in place. Minho was pushing you back to Jisung with the hand on your waist, as his fingers continued to work your clit.
And as Jisung finally pulled the plug out of you, dropping it next to you on the towel on the couch, and sheathed himself to the hilt inside you, you unraveled between them.
A high-pitched cry escaped your throat as your orgasm rushed through you, intense and fast. Your insides were throbbing, your walls clenching around Jisung's cock just for a moment before he pulled out, hugging your back to his chest. Minho stepped in closer, to hold you up between himself and Jisung, and they were kissing each other while they let you ride out your high.
You pried your eyes open as the aftershocks of the orgasm were pulsating through you and looked at Chan. His eyes were impossibly dark, oozing lust and desire, and pure adoration. One side of his plump lower lip was caught between his teeth as he gripped the armrests of the lounge chair, a bit tighter than he probably needed to, but he was trying to ground himself so he'd not come alongside you just seeing you getting fucked, without getting to touch you first.
"Gods, you look so fucking gorgeous, babygirl. I can't wait to get my hands and mouth on you and my cock inside you," he breathed out. "You want to claim me already?" you asked, your voice hazy with the orgasm you just had. Fuck that was intense. "I do, but not yet. Let them fill you up first. I need to see their cum leaking out of you while I claim you."
"I don't know why, but your dirty talk is turning me the fuck on and I'm already way too turned on to even last long before I bust," Jisung commented. "That was too good. And now I need to know where you bought that exact plug because we need to have one as well," he added. Minho chuckled. "Yeah, we really do," he agreed.
"I'll send you the details later," you said, lifting your head from Minho's shoulder. "Ready to have more fun, butt hunter?" you asked him, winking as you did. His tongue slipped between his lips as he tried to keep from bursting to laugh out loud. You turned around to face Jisung. His boba eyes were already looking up at you, as he was still kneeling on the couch. "Ready to have your kisses while you both fuck me?" you smiled down at him, pushing his chest.
Grinning, he replied, "Sure am, bug," as he re-positioned himself, sitting on the couch. "Baby?" you asked as you stepped closer to Jisung while he spread his legs so you could step in between them. "You wanna see them both pound into me or watch me?" you continued, turning your face to your man again.
He was smiling, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. "I think now I need to see them fill you up, babygirl," Chan replied, cocking his head to the side a bit. His lips were parted, and his chest was rising slowly with the deep breaths he was taking.
His cock looked painfully hard. But he preferred it that way. Said he comes so hard he sees the stars whenever he restrains himself from you first, essentially almost giving himself blue balls before rearranging your insides. You pressed your thighs together.
Just the thought of how he'd claim you after Minho and Jisung was making your breath catch. You licked your lips, then dragged your eyes up, allowing them to roam over his chocolate bar abs before catching his eyes. His eyes that were burning. Just for you.
Without you asking, you felt Jisung move. He moved to the corner of the couch, facing Chan as he scooted down so that his head rested on the armrest of the couch, one of his legs down, foot on the ground, while the other was stretched straight on the couch. You turned your head to him, almost giggling as he made grabby hands at you.
"These hands have an acute deficiency of boobs, bug, and my lips are in need of those promised kisses," he said, smiling. Minho almost snorted behind you. "As if I don't kiss you enough or let you fondle my pecs twenty four seven," Minho teased his boyfriend.
"No, you do, but come on. Boobs," Jisung protested, pointing at yours, then making grabby hands at them again with a wide grin. "Yeah yeah, I know, they're pretty spectacular," Minho agreed, slapping your ass. "Not as spectacular as your jiddies though, jagi. No offense, kitten. I'm just biased," Minho added, shrugging.
"None taken. I know you are," you replied, smiling, while climbing on Jisung's lap. "Baby, pass the lube to Minho," you then said as you hovered over Jisung's length, leaning forward. Jisung's hands found your breasts, palms up as you lowered your upper body, leaning in to kiss him. "You know what to do, kitty," you mumbled against Jisung's lips, directing the comment at Minho.
You heard him huff out a laugh as he caught the bottle of lube Chan chucked at him. "I do indeed," Minho replied and you heard the crack of the cap opening. Jisung was massaging your breasts, his hands overflowing with the size of them. While his hands were actually the same size as Chan's, somehow Chan's felt much bigger. As if your breasts knew how to fit perfectly only into his palms.
You placed one of your hands on Jisung's shoulder as you presented your ass to Minho and Chan, sliding the other hand between you and Jisung to wrap your fingers around his cock. Slowly pumping him, you kissed him and swallowed his moan, before he nudged you up a bit so he could catch your right nipple into his mouth. As he sucked slightly on it, circled his tongue around it, making you tremble, Minho's slick fingers found your back entrance.
The cool liquid on them made you shiver, as Minho spread it on you, before pushing first one, and then a second finger in, coating you in the lube also from the inside. You moaned, clenching at the sensation, your pussy tightening around nothing. "Fuck," you breathed as Jisung flicked his tongue on your nipple before switching to the other.
Minho repeated the process once more, before you heard him squirt some more lube onto his palm. Knowing he'd lather his length in it for a few seconds, you moved slightly, making Jisung whine in the process as your nipple slipped from his mouth. But then that whine was replaced by a loud gasp-like moan, as you lined him up on your entrance and lowered yourself down on his hard length.
One of his hands grabbed you by the back of your head as he pulled you down to a kiss, nipping at your bottom lip as you slowly ground on him, lifted your hips a few times, dragging your walls on his cock before Minho stepped in closer. He positioned himself over Jisung's leg, one leg on each side of it for a moment, before lifting the one closer to the couch onto it, his foot planting next to Jisung's outer thigh.
He leaned down, kissing your upper back, right on your spine. "Ready?" he asked, his voice breathy with anticipation. "Chan, baby, you can see what you need to see, yeah?" you asked. "I can, babygirl, go right ahead," he said, giving you permission to go forward.
You'd always check if he had what he needed. Even if this was the first time you were doing this with two others, you had always checked when he had fucked you with someone else. Always.
Because no matter the fact that it was Jisung and Minho who were fucking you, or someone else with Chan at other times, this was all for Chan. For you and him. So he'd better have the best view of this, when both of his brothers stretched you.
"Say please," you teased, smiling against Jisung's lips. Jisung and Minho both paused, but you could feel Jisung holding in a laugh, and failing, as his body was shaking with a silent giggle. "Aishh, babygirl... You're never letting that go, are you?" Chan chuckled. "Nope," you smirked, and kissed Jisung again. Minho lined himself up, ready to start slowly pushing his cock inside your ass.
"Come on Channie hyung, say please so I can fill up her beautiful ass for you," Minho drawled, no doubt smirking and looking at Jisung, if the way the corners of Jisung's eyes were creasing with the laugh he was trying to keep inside his chest. He cleared his throat, and failed at not laughing while his laugh escaped in between his words.
"Yeah Channie hyung, come on, say please." He thrusted slightly under you, making his cock brush against your g-spot. You moaned. You knew Chan was tonguing his cheek again, slight annoyance at the teasing of the guys just amping up his arousal. "Oh the hold you have on me, babygirl. Fine. Please," he huffed, laughter lacing the edges of his voice. He dragged the word out, elongating it. Pleeease.
Just as the word left Chan's lips, Jisung's found yours and one of Minho's hands appeared on your waist, as the other held his base as he pushed the tip in. You stilled, and so did Jisung, allowing Minho to move his hips closer to yours.
You were prepped, and properly lubed, as was Minho's cock, but the fit was so fucking impossibly tight with Jisung's cock inside you already. And Minho was definitely bigger, way bigger, than the plug.
Judging by the inhale Chan took, he had grabbed his cock again. You wished for a mirror on the wall in front of you, so you could see him stroke himself as he watched two cocks disappearing into you. "All good?" Minho asked, pausing, as you drew in a sharp inhale through your teeth. "Yes," you moaned. "Please," you added, needing him to push deeper.
"Ohh, now see, she can say please even without prompting," Minho teased, but then gave neither you nor Chan any time to quip back, as he thrusted in, slowly, but fully bottoming out. "Oh fuck," both you and Jisung breathed at the same time. You breathed deep, trying to allow your body a few inhales to get accustomed to the intrusion, but you already felt the need for more friction.
"Shit," you heard Chan breathe as he shifted in his seat. You knew he was aching to get inside you already but he needed to see you filled with cum first. Your entire body shook with goosebumps over the thought of how he was going to ruin you after.
"I'm afraid I'm not going to last long," Jisung admitted, pulling your face towards his to kiss you, desperately trying to ground himself. "Me neither," Minho groaned. Your breasts got caught in between your bodies, pressing against Jisung's chest. "Minho, please move," you groaned against Jisung's lips, trying to move your hips between them.
"See, she's such a good little kitten, knowing when to say please," Minho drawled again, just purely riling Chan up at this point. He pulled his cock halfway out, then slowly pushed back in, as his fingers brushed along your spine, making you shiver. Jisung stayed still under you, still kissing you through the first thrusts of Minho's thick length inside you, eating up your moans that were escaping your throat.
You came up for air, arching your back as you supported yourself on the couch armrest with your hands. Minho took that, and the "fuck yes", that slipped past your lips as his pelvis once more slowly connected with your ass, as a sign that he could move faster. As he did, Jisung craned his neck, lifting his head off the couch armrest to be able to catch your left nipple between his lips as his hand moulded around your right breast.
Minho thrusted deeper, faster, snapping his pelvis against your behind as he fucked your ass, while Jisung began to slowly grind his cock into you from under you. He was dragging it in and out of your cunt the best he could while being pinned down under you and trying not to slip out while Minho really started to move, now pounding into you, making his cock not only massage your walls, but along Jisung's length.
The sounds you were making were nothing short of pornographic, skin slapping on skin, the wet suction-like noise both the lube and your wetness were making, your moans and heavy breaths filling the air. And despite it all, you could hear Chan move his hand on himself faster, chasing his pleasure now, seeing you being fucked, both of your holes filled with cock, neither of which his.
"Oh my gods, fuck me," you let out, as Jisung actually bit your nipple, getting lost in the moment. You didn't think it would leave a mark, but you nudged his chin up with one hand while you lowered your lips onto his again, preventing him from doing it again. "She's so fucking tight," Minho groaned, thrusting into your ass balls deep, halting in place for just a few breaths.
"I know," you heard Chan say, his voice closer than you expected it to be. Suddenly he was in front of you right beside the couch armrest, his throbbing cock in his hand, hand on your hair yanking you up from Jisung's lips. "Open up," he said in a low grunt, as you were already doing so, mouth open, tongue out, looking up at his eyes through your lashes.
"Good girl," he moaned as he stepped one more step closer and slid his cock into your hot, wet mouth, the underside vein throbbing as it slid alongside your tongue. He managed a few thrusts past your uvula right down your throat, before releasing with a loud moan and a shudder, grabbing your hair into a makeshift ponytail, wrapping it around his wrist.
Chan pulled out of your mouth, his cock still rock hard. You knew he would be ready for his round two right after the guys would finish inside you. You swallowed his load, licking your lips, moaning loud as Jisung now licked at your right nipple, but remembering not to bite this time. Chan quickly walked right next to the couch, behind you, so he could see the grand finale of this, assuming, rightly so, that you were all close.
"Shit, fuck," Minho grunted behind you, suddenly releasing into you, shunting his hips right against your behind, his cock as deep inside your ass as it could possibly be. Chan's climax down your throat apparently caused a chain reaction, making all of you erupt one by one. Feeling Minho unload deep inside you, his cock throbbing, ignited your second orgasm as your clit rubbed against Jisung's pelvic bone just so.
It caused the exact friction you needed to be tipped over the edge. You came, panting, moaning out your pleasure. You were loud. And you didn't care.
As Minho stopped moving, holding himself inside your ass, his cock still pulsating inside you, Jisung slightly lifted your hips so he could start to push his cock in and out of you. Wasting no time, he pummeled his length so deep into you that Minho almost slipped out of you, but he held onto your waist, keeping himself sheathed to make the feel of your pussy tighter for his boyfriend.
"Oh f-", Jisung managed before he hissed, followed by a few very imaginative curse words, as his hips bucked up, suddenly losing control. His orgasm made his whole body shake, thrusting his cock even deeper inside you. You felt Jisung's warmth spread into you, some of it even spilling out with how big his load seemed to be.
Chan inhaled sharply behind you, the breath he took hissing between his teeth. You could only imagine how obscene but yet so fucking arousing it looked for him. His woman, filled with two cocks that weren't his, both spurting cum inside you, so that some of it was already leaking out.
Jisung went entirely limp under you, and you wanted to kiss him, but assumed he would not appreciate the taste of Chan's cum on your lips so you didn't. Then things happened fast, as if Minho and Chan had already practiced what to do next. Minho pulled out of you, making you wince at the sudden emptiness, but moan at the gentle kiss he placed on your left ass cheek.
He practically lifted you off Jisung, making more of his cum spill out from your already spent cunt, before laying you down on the couch, your head now on the opposite armrest than Jisung's was. You saw him turn and lift Jisung a bit so that Jisung was still slouched on the couch. Then he kneeled in front of him, licking Jisung's cum that had leaked out of you off his stomach, and took Jisung's softening cock into his mouth.
You assumed Minho was cleaning Jisung, licking and sucking both your desire and his cum off, making Jisung squirm and moan. Probably sensitive as fuck. But you couldn't see what actually was happening, because Chan appeared above you.
You'd never seen him move with as much quickness as he did now, placing your ankles on his shoulders, lifting your hips just slightly so he could align his still hard cock to your leaking entrance, before pushing in with one swift thrust. All the way to the fucking hilt.
The sensation made your eyes roll to the back of your head and your breath caught in your throat. He is so fucking big. Even after all the times he's been inside you, it never ceases to amaze you how big he feels. Especially when he folds you under him like a fucking pretzel.
He folded you in half, placing his hands next to your shoulders to be able to lean down and claim your lips into the most searing, ravaging, desperate kind of kisses that he had ever given you. As if his entire life was hanging on a thread, his only salvation to be found through the connection of your bodies.
He utterly, completely, claimed you. With his cock, his lips, his heart and his soul.
No matter how truly and well fucked you already were, no other could ever compare to the feeling of his perfect dick inside you. It was as if he was moulded just for you. Carved into the perfect, delicious, almost too big for you length, but still just so fucking perfect with the way his thickness stretched you.
"You're mine", he murmured against your lips, almost too tenderly, a stark contrast to the situation you were in. "Yes", you breathed. "Say it", he demanded, biting your lower lip between his teeth, pulling gently as he rocked his hips into you. You moaned as his cock hit your cervix.
"Yours", you sighed. "I'm yours. Only ever yours. Always yours. Forever." Because he loves you like this. Fucked, filled, and still feral and dripping, just for him. His to claim.
"Fucking damn right you are. Mine. Only mine. Forever mine", he grunted, each word highlighted with a sharp thrust. You felt Jisung's cum leaking out of you with each one, your insides already starting to tighten around Chan. So impossibly fast.
"And you are mine", you said. "Yes", he managed to breathe, before you were already pulling his lips into yours, opening for him. His tongue slid against yours, desperately finding another anchor to sink into the depths of your soul that already belonged to him. He parted you for air, pushing himself up to his knees, continuing to move in and out of you, now looking down.
"My fucking god, you look so exquisite. Dripping someone else's cum and yet this cunt, this body, it all belongs to me", he moaned. "Are you going to fill me up, baby? Make that pussy drip with yours, fucking give it to me, every last goddamn drop", you breathed, panting, moaning, whining under him. "Ahhh, fuck yes", Chan groaned, before pulling out for just a moment. Admiring the view, seeing now both your pussy and ass dripping with cum. For him.
His eyes burned with raw, unfiltered lust, before he looked deep into your eyes. The lust melted into overpowering love, as he pushed his cock back in. One of his hands snaked under your ass, his thumb pressing inside you as his cock pumped in and out of your cunt. He moved his other hand between your legs, pushing down on your lower abdomen, feeling his cock move under your skin, inside you, poking your lower belly from the inside.
He then moved his hand down, pressing his thumb on your clit, starting to rub it in circles, perfectly synced with his powerful thrusts. "Chan, baby... fuck... Chris", you moaned. Your legs dropped from his shoulders, landing on his hips and the tops of his thighs. "I'm gonna-", you exhaled, your navel pulling itself towards your spine, your third orgasm right around the corner. A tidal wave, waiting for a rumbling earthquake to release it.
"Let go babygirl, come for me. Give it to me", he breathed, a single drop of sweat making its way down his temple, along his neck, right onto his collarbone. You wanted to lick it off.
"Come with me baby, please", you begged, reaching for him with your hands. You wrapped your legs around his waist, trying to pull him to you, but he suddenly pulled his thumb out of your ass, lifted his other away from your clit and grabbed your hands, pulling you up to him.
Staying on his knees, he effortlessly lifted you up, as if you weighed next to nothing even with all your curves. He guided your arms onto his shoulders before grabbing you from under your ass. Your hands automatically found their way into his hair, your fingers brushing through his sweaty curls before grabbing a hold of them.
Chan connected your foreheads, needing to look down still so he could see his cock disappear into you, Jisung's cum dripping out now with every thrust. You felt Minho's release drip out of you too, probably onto Chan's cock or thighs, or onto the couch. You'd need to replace the cover fabrics after this.
Chan moved you on him, dragging his cock in and out of you, watching it disappear into the warmth of your dripping wet walls. You watched it with him, and suddenly the sight, the sensations, the emotions, everything, crashed over you as your tidal wave released itself. Your head dropped back, revealing your neck to Chan.
He planted his lips hungrily right where your right clavicle met your neck, and sucked, marking you as he followed you into the whirlpool of your shared climax. Thrusting deep one last time as he brought you down onto his cock so that he was as deep inside you as he could be, he released with a rumbling groan, panting onto your skin.
As you slowly came down from your high, you realized Chan had moved you. He was now sitting on the couch, you were straddling him but your legs were untangled and next to his thighs. He was hugging you to his chest, and your face was facing Jisung and Minho. You blink your eyes open as Chan kisses your hair on top of your head.
Jisung was lounging on Minho, between his thighs, Jisung's back against Minho's chest. One of Minho's hands was resting on top of Jisung's chest, while the other was on his waist, drawing small circles. Jisung's fingers were laced through Minho's on his chest, while his other hand was on Minho's thigh.
They were watching you and Chan, smirking, smiling, but clearly content and happy. For being asked to participate, for being able to give something to you both that both you and Chan clearly thoroughly enjoyed. And you had a feeling that they were also happy to witness what they did. They were happy for you.
Chan's cock was still inside you, slowly softening. You smiled at the guys next to you. "Thank you," you sighed. "Thank us?" Minho cocked one of his brows up. "More like thank you, both of you," Jisung said dreamily.
"You guys are literally way too hot and disgustingly beautiful together," he continued. "Like being allowed to participate was one thing, but watching you two get completely lost in each other afterwards," Jisung added. "Yeah, that was something else," Minho finished his boyfriend's thought.
Somehow at that, you suddenly blushed. "Not you blushing at a compliment after being fucked by three guys with your man's cock still inside you," Jisung chuckled. "Gosh, if I didn't before, now I really get it, Chan. I really do," he added.
"Get what?" Chan asked, his voice deeper than normal, the vibrations of it making their way through your spine, taking root in your brain, making you feel like a field of spring flowers bloomed inside you. "Why you're so completely gone for her."
Chan huffed out a laugh through his nose. "Yeah. I really am," he said, nudging your chin with one finger, making you turn your head to him and look up, only to be met with his lush lips on yours. "I'm gonna make her my wife one day," he murmured against your lips, causing your entire soul to be set on fire.
You forgot how to breathe for a second or two. You froze, your eyes flashing open, the drowsiness caused by three orgasms completely dissipating into thin air in an instant. You parted your lips, looking right into the deep, dark, rich chocolate brown of his eyes. You could fucking drown in them and die happy.
You searched them for any sign of a joke, any sign of panic that he might have felt due to the sudden confession. But you found none. Instead you found a bottomless well, full of absolute adoration and limitless love.
"You mean that?" you asked, your voice barely a whisper as your throat was threatening to close due to the tears already welling up your eyes. "I do," Chan breathed. A single tear escaped your eye, rolling down your cheek until Chan caught it with his lips. "Gosh hyung, save the 'I do' for the altar," Minho groaned. "You're so in love it's making my teeth rot with how sweet it is."
The comment made both you and Chan laugh, Jisung and Minho himself joining in, breaking the sudden small tension Chan's confession created in the atmosphere. Chan's cock was now fully soft inside you, but you didn't want to move. You wanted to get even closer to him, to dive under his skin and live inside his heart.
But you were starting to feel sticky. You needed a shower. "So," you said. "Is it safe to assume we'll be doing this again?"
Chan chuckled. "I'm all for it babygirl, if they are too," he replied. "We are," Minho and Jisung replied at the same time, almost before Chan even had finished his sentence. "Good," Chan replied. You knew he meant it too.
He really did love watching you while you were getting fucked. But he loved filling you up even more when you were already pumped full of cum. "But next time Han, no biting her," he added, his tone serious but not stern or threatening.
"Shit, did I bite? Fuck, man, I'm sorryyyy," Jisung groaned, rubbing his hand down his face. "And to think you warned me and my bunny teeth," Minho said, clearly trying not to laugh. You chuckled out a breathy laugh. "Baby it's ok, it was just a small nick really, he just got lost in the moment and forgot. It won't even leave a mark," you said.
"I know, but I noticed it. Didn't like how it made me react," Chan breathed out. "I know, but he didn't mark me, so it's all good. They followed the other rules. They didn't hurt me, mark me or taste me. Hmm?" you said, kissing the corner of his lips.
"Actually, Minho did, though. Not directly of course, but he did lick me clean," Jisung said, before yelping. You and Chan both turned to look at them. Minho had slapped Jisung on his chest. "Jagiya! Why did you have to out me like that?" he scoffed, laughing as if he didn't believe what he was hearing. "Ouch, jagi, shit. Because I don't want to be the only one who broke the rules," Jisung laughed as he replied, rubbing at his left pec.
"Aishh, why do I even bother with these rules if you're not gonna follow them anyway," Chan groaned. "Because your OCD ass requires rules and order in everything you or we do," you replied for everyone, making both Minho and Jisung huff out a laugh.
"But he didn't taste directly from the source, so I'd say he didn't actually break the rules. Just like Jisung didn't either, he didn't mark me."
Chan sighed, letting out a loud exhale. "I guess so then. But maybe I'll still punish you instead of them," he said. "Looking forward to it," you purred, your insides clenching around him. Chan smirked, his cock twitching inside you, as he tongued the inside of his cheek.
"Ugh, we need to get out of here jagiya before they start fucking again. I'm feeling sticky with all the lube and as much as I enjoyed that, I don't need to witness them going at it again right now," Minho said, suddenly getting up, actually scooping Jisung up bridal style.
"We'll come back for our clothes later," Minho said and winked at you and Chan, starting to walk them over to the door connecting your conjoined houses. The other door leading to the apartment shared by Hyunjin and Felix was locked from your side.
"But jagiiii, I could have watched more," Jisung whined as Minho reached for the door. You giggled at them. "Next time Ji, we can have more fun and you can watch all you like the next time," you shouted after them before Minho pulled the door shut behind them.
"They're so going to fuck when they get into the shower," you added. "Probably. Feral rabbits," Chan agreed, turning your face towards him again, kissing your lips gently.
"Shower or bath?" he asked, breathing in your shared breaths.
"Bath first, please, then shower so I can wash you at least, because I know you'll want to take care of me the rest of the night. You deserve some aftercare too," you said, smiling onto his lips as you pressed yours against his.
"Hmm. Deal. Then lots of water, food and movies after while I rub your legs, back and shoulders? Maybe a glass of the red we have open too," he continued. You nodded. "And maybe you can brush my hair and give me a scalp massage?" Chan asked, getting up, his cock slipping out of you as he too switched you into a bridal position in his arms.
"I can do anything you want, baby," you replied. "So maybe even back scratches?" he whispered, as if he was afraid someone might hear him asking for it. "Yes, even those." You giggled, kissing his neck making him shiver.
He started to walk you upstairs to the ensuite bathroom. In the stairs, you spoke up. "You know," you started. "Yeah?" Chan murmured gently. "You'll say yes," you replied. "Yes to what?" he asked. "When you'll ask me to be your wife," you confessed. Chan stopped right at the top of the stairs.
"You will?" he asked, almost breathless. "Of course you will." Chan beamed down at you. "You want to marry me?" he asked, almost giddy all of a sudden. "Yes," you replied.
"Really? Like for real? Because you weren't joking when you said you'll make me your wife," he suddenly spluttered, his Australian accent thickening with the growing excitement. Both in his tone and down below. You guess thinking about you as his wife was arousing to him.
"Really, really. You're not joking either. You've been ready to be your wife since even before you asked him to move in with you," you replied. Chan started to walk towards the bathroom again, but blindly this time, as he suddenly kissed you so feverishly that he stole your breath away.
"I need to plan the most amazing proposal ever and surprise you. Gosh I fucking adore you," he then breathed against your lips. "And I you," you replied. He placed you onto the floor of your bathroom, right next to the tub, before stepping in closer, his arousal pressing against your lower tummy.
"Please say we can shower first and then have a bath?" Chan asked, his hands finding their way to your behind. "Why?" you asked, your voice breathy. You were ready to go again too. Knowing he wanted to marry you, too, suddenly had you feral. "Because I really need to fuck my future wife right now," he admitted, making millions of tiny butterflies start to swarm in your heart and stomach.
"Well. At least our future wedding hashtag will be fitting," you replied, taking his hand and leading him behind the glass wall into the shower corner, turning the waterfall shower on. "Wedding hashtag? How so? Do you already have one in mind for us?" he smiled, stepping under the water, pulling you to him.
You lifted your arms over his shoulders, pulling him into a wet kiss. "I do, yeah," you said, lifting your left leg onto his hip. He grabbed you from under your thigh, your leg dangling over his arm as he lined himself onto your entrance again, already knowing you'd still be ready for him, wet from before and now again.
"Mmmh, hearing you say 'I do' does things to me," Chan said and pushed his cock inside you with one fluid movement, moaning onto your lips. "Now tell me, what's the hashtag?" he asked, staying in place.
"#shebangs," you replied, making him pause, before bursting out into a laugh that elicited those tiny adorable squeaks from his throat that you loved so goddamn much. "I fucking love your brain," he then said, still giggling. You couldn't help but smile, joining him in his laughter.
"But it fits, right? She bangs, because I do bang you, let you bang me, let others bang me so you can watch and bang me after, but also I'm going to become a Bang, well Bahng, but anyway. And it's a Ricky Martin song too, so the innocent people will think it's a funny reference to that and a play on me getting your last name."
"Yeah, and the not so innocent ones will know exactly what you meant by it," he murmured as he pulled halfway out of you, and pushed his cock back in, making you moan. "That's exactly the point," you replied. "It's settled then, that'll be our wedding hashtag," Chan chuckled, moving slowly inside you again, pressing his lush lips on yours.
"Now, future Mrs. Bahng. Let me bang you, so you can confidently say that you do, in fact, bang."
A/n: Welp, that's the end of this rollercoaster of a story. I really tried to limit the amount of minsung portrayed here as much as I can for those who aren't comfortable with it 😞. Anyways, thanks for reading.
reblogs and comments are appreciated ♡
requests and taglist are open too.
✦ SKZ AS YOUR BOYFRIEND TEXTS
warnings: fluff, clingy behavior, slightly jealous boyfriend, teasing, lowercase texting
note: made by me ,purely fictional. no real-life intentions implied. just boyfriend headcanons / imagination. hydrate and touch grass after.
⊹ ࣪ ˖ ───────── ✦ ───────── ˖ ࣪ ⊹
— bang chan
─── ♡ ───
— lee know
─── ♡ ───
— changbin
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— hyunjin
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— jisung
─── ♡ ───
— felix
─── ♡ ───
— seungmin
─── ♡ ───
— jeongin
reblogs and comments are appreciated ♡
requests are open.
"thinking about boyfriend chan who refuses to let you leave the bed after sex because "five more minutes" always turns into another hour..."

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Venom ~ Changbin x fem reader
A/n ( Please do not skip ): Sorry if this is quite long , once again I got carried away. This story is very intense so please read the disclaimer before starting and if it's too much for you, you can skip it. Thanks
The one where you run into your ex who you still haven't gotten over, who you claim to hate because of what he did, and things escalate when he sees you crying.
Member: Changbin
Word count: 17361
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Suggested song : Wrong by Chris Grey
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Disclaimer: Hate sex, choking, biting (odaxelagnia), masochism, pain kink, Unprotected sex, reader is low-key a slut (I ain't slut-shaming ), a lot of cursing, self hatred (fem reader), Changbin is a bit of a jerk at first glance, a bit angsty and quite intense so read at your own detriment
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It had been a shitty day. A shitty week, month even. Hell, it had been a shitty year. Not that you were counting, but it had been a year and two days, if you were being honest.
Today was just the icing on the cake. Not only did you know you were never going to be enough for anyone, now you also knew you weren't good enough for some random dude to even fuck for one night.
Had you been enough for the others? Did you even want to know, when either you or the dude had always slipped out into the night right after you had been used? Honestly... No, you didn't. It's not like it mattered, because none of them did. They were just plasters for the wound that kept festering because you always picked at it.
But tonight, the guy who was supposed to fuck you, make you shut your mind off for a blissful few minutes, several if you were lucky, or even a second round if the guy was cute enough and willing to play into your needs, threw you out of his hotel room. Somehow what you had asked for was too much.
Honestly, it was your fault. You might have chosen someone too kind, too pure for your ragged soul. And you might have asked for this, calling him names to make him angry. You embraced the pain, but that didn't make it hurt any less though. No matter if you searched for the pain, it still hurt.
Sitting on your ass on the rough hotel corridor carpet, you were scrambling for your things as you felt the silent tears start to roll down your face. Was it too much to ask for the hurt to stop for a few moments? The few moments you got when someone was fucking you hard, rough, without feelings?
Yeah, you guess so. Your luck had to run out one day, if you could even call it luck that you were able to find guys willing to manhandle you, throw you around, push you down, use you... Somehow a lot of guys were into it, you guess it should not come as a huge surprise knowing how men are, but still. None of them would be him, and all of them were meant to be just plasters for the night.
You didn't even use to be into this kind of shit, but nowadays this was the only way for you to just be able to escape your mind. It was the only way for you to get some rest without your demons coming to hunt you, because the few extra hours you got from the endorphins and pleasure hormone rush of it all were usually enough time for you to get back home or to your own hotel room, to fall asleep.
It was, sadly, the only way for you to be able to properly get off now. Don't get it wrong, you could still orgasm, but you were left feeling empty if you didn't feel the other things the masochist in you chased after. The pain, the feeling of being used, the feeling of being enough just for the night, but not more, because you never were. Enough.
You picked your things off the floor that fell out of your bag as the guy for the night pushed you out, rougher than he had meant to, clearly, making you stumble and land on your ass, slightly on your hip. He almost came after you to check if you were ok. Which ironically confirmed it to you that you had chosen poorly tonight. Well, at least you had gotten a bruise out of it, you could feel it on your left ass cheek, spreading to your hip.
You were frustrated, knowing tonight would be a bad night again, your demons coming to hound and mock you. Which is why you were crying. You hadn't slept well for the past year really, and this week had been dry. You had looked forward to the blissful minutes of silence in your mind.
You needed to fucking come so bad. And now you wouldn't get it, because you chose a good boy instead of a douche, a predator who'd just care about his needs being met, someone who didn't mind rough and pain. Or at least causing it.
You got up, picking your thigh-length black leather blazer off the floor and shrugging it onto your shoulders, keeping your arms out of the sleeves. Not bothering with the tears, you let them stream down your face, messing up your mascara as you brushed your black figure-hugging dress back down as it had ridden up, almost revealing your ass.
You had black see-through tights under it, and black thigh-high leather boots with ankle-breaking high, thick heels. "Shit", you sighed as you looked down your right leg; the tights had ripped a bit as you landed on your ass. Oh well, at least you had more pairs in your suitcase.
You started to walk down the empty hallway towards the elevator, so you could get back down to the hotel lobby to ask for a cab. You needed to get back to the hotel and your room, where you could at least try to relax in the bath with your audiobook of fucked up villains and sex, some bourbon on ice and your waterproof tentacle vibrator.
Did you bring that along to an over the weekend business trip just in case? Obviously. You needed to prepare for the worst. That being not finding a one night stand hookup to dull the emotional pain with some rough touches.
The elevator ride from the 18th floor somehow went by in a blink. One moment you had your eyes open, then closed as your vision blurred due to the tears of frustration and exhaustion, of defeat, and when you opened your eyes the elevator blinged in announcement that you reached the lobby. The doors opened and a gorgeous couple almost stepped in before letting you out, letting go of each other's hands as you passed from between them, not even trying to be polite.
The girl was wearing a pink fluffy dress, and the guy was wearing a button-up to match. They looked so disgustingly cute together, in their couple outfits. Couple.. Something you'd probably never get to be again with anyone.
The guy started to shout behind you, trying to get you to apologize, you're sure, but the girl stopped him. "She was crying, let it go, my love. Maybe she got dumped, don't add to her pain", she said, which just twisted the knife in your gut. It's not the stab, but the twist.
You clicked down the deep mahogany polished floor to the reception. "Could you please call me a cab?", you asked, your voice threatening to tremble.
"Certainly, just one moment, miss", the receptionist replied. You cleared your throat and looked down, not wanting to be a bother, for the nice receptionist to have to ask if you were okay. You involuntarily sniffled, but if the receptionist noticed you were trying very hard to not show you were crying, to her credit she didn't mention it.
"If you'd go wait outside, miss, the cab will be here in 3 minutes. Please have a complimentary chocolate before you go", she said after hanging up. "Thank you", you mumbled, holding out both your hands for her, knowing she was already ready to hand out the candy. You felt a soft fabric land on your hands, with the crinkle of a wrapper.
You lifted your head just enough to see what she had given you; a cotton handkerchief, and two chocolates. You looked up, eyes watering more than they already did, due to the sudden kindness of a complete stranger. "Thank you", you choked out again, before turning around to walk outside.
You heard her sigh "I hope she'll be okay", as you walked away, wiping your tears with the handkerchief. Your mascara smudged the fabric, so you probably looked like an insane person, eyes red and cheeks painted with tears and messy mascara stains.
The cab arrived quicker, already pulling up when you walked outside the lobby front doors. At 1am there were surprisingly not too many people around getting a cab, but it being Saturday maybe it made sense. Most people would already be at the bars, or coming to the hotel, not leaving.
The cab driver got out and opened the back seat door for you, and you slumped into the seat, thanking him, then telling him the address of your hotel, not too far from here but far enough for you to not walk there in these heels. Not to mention it was cold, and you were dressed way too lightly.
You closed your eyes and drowned out the noise of the city sounding through the windows of the cab, not hearing anything but your own heartbeat in your ears, thumping loudly. Then suddenly, the tears that had stopped falling when you got to the cab started to flow again as your ears picked up a familiar voice.
Him.
Fuck, it still hurts so fucking bad. Why does it hurt so bad? You hate him. You hate him, you hate him, you hate him. For making you this way, for making you feel, think, that you're never going to be enough.
You didn't need another reminder of him tonight, when already the fact that he is the reason you're hurting and seeking out anyone with a working dick to fuck you out of your mind so that you won't think of him, hurts enough. Even more so after getting rejected tonight.
And then, painfully, out of the blue, you were there again. At his dorm, a year and two days ago, sitting on the couch drinking coffee on his free day, keeping him company as he worked on new songs.
He had acted distant the past two weeks. You were getting worried. What was bothering him? He was pushing you away. Had he found someone else? Did you do something? "Binnie?", you called him. "Yeah?", he said, his tone bored as his fingers nimbly worked the keys on his laptop.
"I'm sorry if I've done something to upset you", you offered, feeling like an idiot, not knowing if you actually had. "What?", he asked, lifting his head from the screen. "I'm sorry if I've done something to upset you", you repeated.
"Why do you think you've done something you need to be sorry for?", he asked, confused. "Because you've been distant lately", you replied, placing your empty cup on the coffee table. You needed your hands free. You needed to fidget your fingers.
Changbin froze for a moment, an emotion you couldn't exactly place flashing behind his eyes. He slumped his shoulders. "Or maybe you've found someone else", you said, almost too quiet for him to hear. But he heard. And sent your world crashing down after it.
"I...", he started, unable to form words, but his demeanor and the look on his face told you everything. Guilt. Shame. Hurt. At least he was ashamed. But why the fuck was he hurt? He was the one hurting you. "Oh", you said, not needing him to even say it out loud.
You felt your heart shatter like fragile glass. He had found someone else. Just like all your exes, he had cheated too. And you thought he would never... "Why?", you asked, tears already streaming down your cheeks.
You felt him shift as he put his laptop away, closing the lid, then turning to face you, and lifting his hands towards you as if he wanted to wipe your tears away.
"I'm sorry", he whispered. Why did he care if you cried? Not like he cared when he had already replaced you. You flinched back. "Why?", you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper. "Does there have to be a why?", he asked, his voice low and quiet.
"Is she pretty? Someone famous? Someone more appropriate for an idol? Thinner? Someone who acts cuter? Someone who eats less? Someone with a better background? Someone in the industry too? Someone who understands you better? Someone you want to introduce to your parents?"
"Does she have fairer skin? Darker hair? Skin without imperfections, without marks? Is she pure? Is her skin unpierced and clean of tattoos? Is she someone the guys like more? Is she someone the company approves of? Is she better? Is she everything you're not?", you continued, all your insecurities suddenly pouring out, everything you had tried not to think about during your relationship.
"It's not like that, princess", he said, pain and sadness in his voice. "Don't call me that. You don't get to call me that after fucking someone else, after choosing her over me", you spat out, fully crying now, heart wrenching sobs leaving your chest. You needed to get out. You couldn't breathe. The walls were caving in.
He had someone else. He never loved you. You're not pretty enough. You're not thin enough. You're not good enough. You're not enough. You're not enough. "Hey, hey, hey. I'm here, breathe. You're having a panic attack. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I never wanted it to come to this", Changbin said, grabbing your shoulders, pressing his forehead to yours.
"Don't fucking touch me!", you yelled, your voice thick with venom, pushing him away, hot tears streaming down your face as you shot up, breathing way too shallow, nausea rising in your throat. Swaying on your feet a bit, you stumbled away from him, noticing but not understanding the hurt on his face, but the need to escape, to flee, to get away was too extreme.
You weren't enough. You never were.
You never would be. "No, baby, I...", you heard him say, now panic in his voice as you turned around and walked to the door. You heard him come after you as you pulled your UGGs to your feet and wrenched the door open, grabbing your jacket and purse. "Don't fucking follow me. You can't do this. You... I... You need to get out. You want out. We're done!"
You slammed the door in his face. You turned on your heels, running down the steps of too many flights of stairs, your head spinning, hurting, your vision almost too blurry to see through the tears. Your chest felt too tight, the pain you felt in your heart and soul too much to bear. You were sobbing, ragged sobs escaping you as you tried to keep the nausea in control.
But when you stumbled out of the door to the street, your body doubled over as the nausea found its way out to the bushes next to the building. You loved him. You loved him so fucking much. But he had found someone better, someone prettier, someone... He had replaced you. Because you weren't enough. You never were.
Ironically, it was his voice that pulled you out of your memories, hot tears now again streaming down your face. You were trying so hard not to make a sound, crying into your hands, doubled over in the backseat of the cab, as his voice on the speakers so beautifully sang lyrics about him pretending to be fine when he wasn't, begging for someone to ask if he's ok before he collapses.
What did he even know about pain like that? When he had caused you more pain than anyone ever had, because for once you thought you had found someone for whom you would be enough, someone who wouldn't replace you... And yet... What right did he have to create lyrics like this about his pain?
It hurt so much to remember that day. Which is why you had started to seek comfort in the pain caused by others while they used you like he had used you too. You had just been a temporary distraction for him, someone he could fuck before he found someone better.
So you became the permanent temporary one, the girl who would also become the reason for others' hurt if the guys you fucked were taken and their girl found out. And you didn't care. Just as long as the thoughts in your head got muted through the physical and emotional pain you gained from the one night stands. What a fucked up way to live.
"Miss, are you ok?", you heard the driver ask, probably noticing from the rearview mirror that you had disappeared. "Yeah, just a headache", you managed to mumble out without sounding like you were crying your fucking soul out. "We'll be there in just a minute", the driver said, a bit less worry in his voice. He was probably just afraid you were nauseous and would puke all over his leather seats.
"Thank you", you replied, trying to control your breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Which wasn't easy when your body was trying to shake from the violent sobs threatening to leave your chest.
The cab pulled up at your hotel, and you paid, thanked the driver again and apologized before getting out. The tears just didn't seem to want to stop, your eyes already hurting due to the amount of crying you had done tonight.
You walked through the deserted lobby to the elevator a bit farther away, behind the corner, hoping no one would be there to see you in this state. You felt a headache blooming behind your eyes, and decided that it would require a painkiller and a double bourbon before the bath.
You stepped into the elevator, thankful to find it empty as no one was coming down. Wiping your cheeks and under your eyes again with the handkerchief, you pressed floor 8 and huffed at the irony as the doors closed. Your room number was 0811. You had already forgotten.
Of course it fucking was. He followed you everywhere, no matter how hard you tried to fuck the hurt away with strangers. But no matter how hard you tried to hate him, to use others to help you forget... You couldn't seem to shake him. And how could you? Hate like yours cannot exist without love.
The elevator pinged, way too early for it to be the 8th floor. A voice announced the third floor. Wellness floor. Maybe someone had been in the 24/7 gym or steam room. You dropped your head slightly down and moved to the far corner, your right side facing the door, trying to be as unnoticeable as you could.
The doors opened, and you saw someone step in, their white sneakers visible in your peripheral. They stopped. The elevator doors closed. They didn't move. They didn't press the button of their room's floor. Maybe they were on the same floor with you. Then you heard him. "Princess?"
What. The. Actual. Fuck? You snapped your head up. You have got to be shitting me. Out of all places in this fucked up planet, he was here? In Singapore? In the same hotel as you were? In the same elevator with you? Alone? In... workout gear?
Fuck your life. Fuck you. Fuck him.
"What are you doing here?", you both asked at the same time, tones different. Yours was a hiss of anger and pain. His was surprised. "You're here for work", you replied, as he at the same time said just one word. "Concert." You huffed out a breath. Of course. Unbelievable. How did you not know...
"But why are you HERE?", you gestured with your arms, meaning why in this hotel, in this elevator, at this time. You crossed your arms under your chest, looking at him, all the emotions threatening to rise. You would not cry more. Not in front of him. Stupid, weak heart.
"Actually, don't answer. Not like I care", you sighed. You actually do. You're fucked up in the head because all you do is care, even still.
"Well nice to see you too. Our managers reserved rooms here for us. I was in the gym, just trying to get back to my room", Changbin replied, his tone neutral with a hint of hurt. Hurt? Fuck him.
You turned your head away from him, looking at the opposite wall of the elevator, not being able to look at him without actually crumbling onto the floor. Everything about tonight was already too much. Him being in the same space with you was threatening to throw you off the deep end. It hurt. So fucking bad.
He still looked the same. Your dream man. Just better. Stronger. He smelled the same. Clean linen and musk. Sounded the same. Like happy hormones in a bottle.
You heard him scoff before pushing a button, probably his floor, and turn his back to you. You let out a shaky breath as the tears started to flow again. How did you even have any left in you? You needed to get out of the elevator, away from him. You sniffled, realizing it too late that he would hear.
"Hey, hey, hey, hey, are you crying? Why are you crying?", he then asked suddenly as he turned and stepped in front of you. His hands were trying to reach out for you, but stopped halfway, hanging in the air between you before dropping down to his sides.
Thank the gods, because you would have shattered under his touch, fallen into his arms. Begged him to love you again, at least for just one night so maybe, just maybe, you could start to forget him and heal. As if you ever could...
"Why do you even care?", you said, your voice thick with the sobs that were now so fucking close to escaping, the dam close to a breaking point. You wiped your eyes with the backs of your hands, the handkerchief forgotten. You didn't want to look at him, couldn't, so you dropped your head again, holding your arms close to your body as the tears continued to flow.
Had they even stopped for a moment since the previous hotel? Must have, since he didn't ask why you were crying straight away. How did he not even realize, though? Your eyes must be so red and puffy. He doesn't care anymore, that's why.
You feared if you did look at him, you would break beyond repair. And you didn't want him to see that. Wouldn't let him see that. But also at the same time, all you wanted was to look at him. Because you missed him. So fucking bad. Without any fucking sense. Why did you still miss him when he hurt you so badly? When he broke your heart and stomped on the shattered pieces to make sure you'd never be able to put them back together?
He didn't even try to fight for you, to call you, to get you back. Not that you did either, but he was the one who broke us, you. Why should you have reached out when he didn't care enough to even try? Why did you still crave his touch, his love, his everything, so much that all your body wanted to do was fall into his arms, when you also hated him for what he did?
Why were you such a masochist? Why did you have a foolish, rotten heart that still loved the man who hurt you? Or is it even love, when it has soured like this, into something black and rotten?
"Why do I... Can you please look at me?", Changbin asked, sighing as if he was exhausted, but you didn't miss the pleading tone of his voice when he said that, the way his hands fisted at his sides. Which is what made you lift your eyes to meet his, even if it contradicted what you said.
"I can't", you whispered. "Why?", he asked, so very clearly trying to hold himself back from touching you, from holding you. "Because if I do, you'll see what I've become without you", you replied, your honesty surprising even yourself. And what you were... was a broken, used, ruined, fucked up shell of a woman you used to be.
"Maybe I want to see. Maybe all I still see is the woman I... Just. Fuck. Maybe I just want to make things right", Changbin said, searching your weeping eyes for any kind of sign that maybe you would listen. You could see the pain in his eyes, the fear that you might walk out and not give him the opportunity to. You still could read his expressions so well, even after all this time, and it gave your heart another painful tug. You dropped your head again.
The elevator pinged and announced the floor, 8th. You lifted your head, refusing to look at him, but you still saw the pleading look on him in your peripheral, as you turned towards the door. "What makes you think I want you to?", you asked quietly as you stepped through the opening doors, intending to escape to your room, running as soon as they closed, before his reply stopped you in your tracks.
"Maybe exactly the fact that you can't even look at me for more than a few seconds? The fact that you're shivering, holding yourself together by your arms to stop yourself from crying more than you already are? The fact that you even replied to me when you could have just as well ignored me?", he countered, throwing his hand out to stop the elevator doors from closing.
"Please. I have regretted what happened every second of every day since you walked out, have regretted not trying to call, to text. But I couldn't do this on the phone. And I knew you wouldn't reply anyway. You blocked all the guys so you probably blocked me too. I just never tried to call because I knew it wouldn't go through and you wouldn't pick up anyway."
"So I kept hoping I'd run into you. I tried to visit the places we used to go to together. Every day I went to one of them unless I was out of the city, but I never ran into you anymore. Maybe you stopped going. I know I might be a little too late with this, but now that I finally ran into you when I wasn't even trying, it must be for a reason. Just hear me out. Please", he continued when you didn't reply.
Your stupid heart jumped at his words. He kept hoping he'd run into you. For a year. He didn't try calling, because he thought the call wouldn't go through. He thought you had blocked him, when in reality you hadn't. Your toxic ass had blocked everyone else, except him. Because you still had kept hoping maybe one day he'd call.
Your heart was screaming at you, kicking your ribs, yelling at you to go to him. To touch him, kiss him, allow it to love him openly once more. Maybe even just once, and nothing more. Your body was pulling you towards him like a magnet, a moth to a flame. Maybe he'll burn you. Maybe he won't. Maybe you'll regret this. Maybe you won't. Maybe you'll finally break beyond fixing. Maybe you won't.
Maybe he'd say he regretted it all, that it was the worst mistake of his life and that he can't live without you after all? Could you have been enough after all, and he just needed someone else to realize it? But maybe he also didn't. Maybe he actually just wanted to clear the air. It's not like he loved you or wanted you still. If ever. Because you weren't enough.
You didn't know what you'd do if this all went badly. But the masochist in you took the lead. Fucking ruin me then, break me, destroy me. Not like it's new to you. At least I'd get a kick out of this if nothing else, having turned into a whore for pain. Emotional or physical, didn't matter.
"Fine. Your room", you said, stepping back into the elevator, him taking a step back to allow you in. Some sort of relief passed behind his eyes. "Thank you", he said, as the elevator rode up again. 12th floor. Just a few floors up from you. To think you were so close and might not even have run into each other. Maybe that would have been the best.
Maybe this was a big mistake.
At least if you didn't allow him to explain, you'd be able to keep holding onto your hurt and hate. If he explained and that pulled the foundation of those away from you, what would you be anymore? "Don't thank me. It's not like I'm going to forgive you that easily", you said, trying to grasp at your hate so that the love left in you wouldn't try to get your hopes up. "I know. But at least you'll hear me out", Changbin sighed.
The elevator doors opened again, and you stepped out, Changbin stepping out behind you. He turned to the left corridor and walked all the way to the end, opening the door to the last room on the right. You followed, staying silent, even though everything in you was screaming. What were you doing? Why did you agree?
You're just going to get even more hurt. But wasn't that what you needed? The pain? You didn't want to hurt, but you kept clinging onto it, chasing the pain, asking for others to cause it, just so you could hang onto the last thing you had of him. The feeling of hurt that consumed you because of him.
You stepped into his room, him following you as he held the door open for you. The door clicked shut, and you walked further, to stand in front of the window, looking into the city skyline, embedded in the darkness of past 1am night, the city lights lighting it up. "A drink?", Changbin asked.
"Thanks. And a painkiller, if you have one", you said. Frowning, he walked into the bathroom first, rustling something, then returning with a water bottle and a painkiller in his hand. He placed them on the table next to you, before turning to the minibar. You threw the painkiller into your mouth and swallowed it with a swig of water.
"You still drink bourbon?", he asked, taking two bottles of it out of the minibar. "Yes. But I take mine double", you replied as you turned to look at the city lights again. He scoffed again, then rummaged through the minibar to take two more bottles by the sound of it. He cracked the bottles open and poured them into glasses, before dropping in a few ice cubes. The container on the table must be insulated, you guessed, as you peeked over your shoulder.
"Here", he said, holding out your drink to you. You took the drink, turning to him, and walked to the bed beside the window and sat on the edge. He went to the chair across the room. The liquid in his glass was clear. Tequila, you'd guess. Dangerous.
Taking a sip of your bourbon, you allowed yourself to look at him, really look, for the first time.
He was wearing a gray compression shirt and loose black shorts. He had kicked his sneakers off by the door. His black hair was curling at the ends. It always did that when he had been sweating at the gym. His shoulders were wider than a year ago, his biceps bigger. His legs seemed stronger. He looked like the very epitome of health, and your heart skipped a painful beat.
He looked too good. Why did he have to look so good still? Your hands itched to touch him, making you scold your wretched heart again. Why do you still want him? Love him, still? He hurt you. And he's the reason you're fucked up now, heart.
He was sitting in a manspread on the chair, his drink in both of his hands on his thighs. He had his glasses on, the thick black framed ones that you had encouraged him to buy. Fuck. Why had he held on to those?
He was looking at you, his expression a mix of concern, uncertainty and something you couldn't place. You probably looked like a ragged mess. You certainly felt like it. Your hair tousled over your shoulders, your tights ripped on the side, makeup running down your face, eyes swollen and red, eyebags worth of a year of sleepless nights, eyes hollow of any happy emotion you used to be so full of.
You lowered your gaze to your drink, then spoke up. "You wanted me to hear you out. What did you have to say to me that was so important that you needed to do it in person, that you waited for a year to run into me randomly?" He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. He took a sip of his drink and grimaced, then emptied the glass, and shuddered. Definitely tequila.
Changbin placed the glass on the floor and put his head in his hands, running his fingers through his messy hair. "Now that you're here, I somehow don't know where to start", he said. Annoyance rose inside you. He waited for a year to talk to you and now doesn't know what to say?
"I don't have all night, Changbin", you said, not bothering to hide your annoyance, your hurt. You saw a sliver of annoyance flash behind his eyes, but then it withered.
"I wish you didn't call me that", he sighed.
"What? By your name?", you asked, scoffing at him before taking another sip of your bourbon, the alcohol burning as it went down.
"Yes. You used to call me baby. I wish you still did", he mumbled into his hands before sitting up straight, looking at you.
"I'm sorry, but why in seven hells would I call you baby after what you did?", you countered, not believing what you were hearing.
"I didn't– fuck. This is already not going the way I had planned. I had this discussion with you so many times in my head but now I can't seem to form the right words", he said, frustration levels rising.
You rolled your eyes at him. What gives him the right to be frustrated here? "Look, Changbin, I don't know what you want from me, but it's been a fucking year. And I'm not exactly in the mood tonight to just watch my ex fumble with his words because he doesn't know what to say to the woman he cheated on. I'm exhausted, I haven't slept well since... well, since."
"And my solution for that fell a bit flat tonight, so I'm feeling more nasty than I would normally be. I really shouldn't even be here, but against my better judgment my heart decided to follow you, so out with it, or I'm just going to leave so I can have another drink, a bath, and hopefully an orgasm so I can get even a few hours of sleep", you said, your tone bitchier than it needed to be.
"You can have another drink here too if you're so thirsty. What do you mean you don't sleep? And your solution fell flat? What solution?", he said, and you could hear the annoyance again rising in his tone. You emptied your glass and got up, walking to the minibar. 'If you're so thirsty...' Fuck him.
"Are you asking because you're trying to stall because you don't know what to say to me, or are you asking because you actually want to know? Because I don't think it's the latter, at least not after I tell you", you said, your tone mocking as you squatted to check what was still left in the minibar. Vodka, mini champagne, normal coke, water, gin, tonic, whiskey. Bleurgh . Vodka on ice it was then.
You got up and put the mini bottles and your glass on the table above the minibar, and closed the door. As you got up, you somehow managed to avoid the table corner with your head, but bumped your hip onto it. And of course the one that was bruised from your landing on your ass earlier. "Aggh. Fuck", you hissed.
You cracked the bottles open and emptied them into your glass. "Are you hurt?", you heard Changbin ask, his voice closer than it should be if he was still in the chair. You turned and he was right behind you. Not too close to touch, but close enough to definitely see you more clearly.
"Just a bruise", you replied, leaning onto the table, wanting to get a bit more distance between you. "Why were you crying earlier? You definitely had been before you started to again in the elevator", he then asked, his hands in his pockets.
Again, do you actually want to know? I don't think you do", you replied. "What if I do?", he countered.
Why is he testing your patience? He had something he wanted to say to you and now he was avoiding it by asking why you were crying and why you couldn't sleep.
Fuck it. Fine.
"You know what, fine. You wanna know? Don't say I didn't warn you", you said, pushing yourself off the table edge, vodka glass in hand. You took a few steps past him, then turned around and let yourself go at him. He wanted to know? Fine. You'd tell him. See if he still wants to talk to you after.
Maybe this is exactly what you need, to be able to tell him what he turned you into. Maybe he'd understand the hate you have been feeling, clinging onto. Understand that all he'd needed to have done was love you. Which surely had never happened, if he was able to do what he did to you.
"What do I mean by not sleeping? I mean exactly what it sounds like, Changbin. I barely sleep. I haven't since the day you broke us. I have nightmares. I drown into the pain I still feel. I get panic attacks. So I don't sleep more than a few hours a night. Some nights I don't sleep at all. Only way for me to sleep for even a while without those fucking demons to come a-lurking is sleeping pills or...", you paused, taking a breath.
His expression was worried. How the fuck dare he be worried? He caused this. You took a hefty gulp of the vodka, not even grimacing at the burn. "Or what?", he asked.
"Or sex. Only way I get my mind to shut down even for a few minutes is fucking someone, without strings attached, just for one night, because I can't deal with strings anymore. I need someone to fuck my mind out, to cause me physical pain while they're at it for my emotional pain to subside for even just a few blissful moments."
"Those endorphins and the oxytocin and the dopamine carry me over to being able to sleep for even just a moment, before my demons wake me up again and remind me that my pain is what I am now. My pain that you caused", you explained.
"And that's why I was crying. Because even if my mind shuts down and the hormones the pain and sex release can get me to sleep, it still hurts. Hurts because you made me feel like I wasn't enough, and I'm making myself feel like that over and over again with every guy I fuck. I'm just another hole to fill, nothing more", you continued, letting all your emotions show.
Somehow the tears didn't come this time, but the anger did. The disgusting, suffocating, poisonous anger. "So you're saying you've been fucking anything that walks since you walked out on me?", Changbin asked, his tone coated with... what? Was that anger? Pain? Disgust?
"I mean it doesn't even have to walk, just having a hard dick and willingness to cause some pain is enough", you replied, not even trying to hide the anger now bubbling inside you. "And what the fuck do you mean by 'since you walked out on me'? Because fuck you for saying that. I did not walk out on you. I left because you fucked someone else first", you spat out.
"Stop fucking saying that", he said, raising his voice. "So, what, you've been fucking your way around Seoul for one year now then?", he added. "Oh fuck you, Binnie. You don't get to say that. But if you have to know, no, not only Seoul. Any place I've been to. Like here today", you said, raising your voice too.
You took a few steps back, walking next to the chair Changbin had just sat on before, but not sitting down yourself. Changbin followed you, standing a few feet from you. "You fucked someone today?", he asked, clearly somehow surprised at this, and then looked down at your hip that you were unconsciously massaging, realizing it straight away as his gaze landed on your hand.
"Did he cause that bruise?", he added, angry now. Not at you, but clearly at the possibility of you having fucked someone that wasn't him, someone who had caused an injury. The anger boiled over, surpassing the hurt his words were causing. He was the one who broke you by doing the exact thing you were now doing with others. The difference just was that he did it while you were still dating, and the bruises he caused were invisible, on your heart.
"Why do you fucking care? It's not like I'm cheating on you. I can fuck whoever I want, whenever I want, however I want, and I don't owe you any fucking explanations for it. Even if he caused that bruise, you don't get to be angry about it because it's because of you that I crave the pain", you said, your words dripping malice, intending to hurt, to slash at him.
"Why can't I be angry about your random fucks hurting you? Because you fucking are. Because you do. You do care, ok? Why can't you see that?", he full-on yelled now, taking a step closer to you.
"Why can't you see that?! Maybe because I didn't even try! I haven't heard from you for a whole fucking year and two days, and you expect me to know anything about you anymore? How would you know I care? Why would you even care? It's not like you did back then", you yelled back. You emptied your glass while he yelled back.
"But you did fucking care! It's because you fucking cared that whatever happened, happened. You can't take it back now but you're trying to make sense of this, to make things right and you can't even keep up because you keep spiraling and all you're hearing is you've been fucking anything that moves, making them cause you pain, letting them bruise you. It's like you don't even know you anymore."
"BECAUSE YOU FUCKING DON'T!", you screamed as the rage and hate took the best of you, making you chuck the empty glass at the wall next to the bed, sending the melted ice cubes and glass shards everywhere. "I changed. Your betrayal changed me. You fucking ruined me. I'm addicted to pain because that's what you left me with."
"I look for the feeling of not being enough with strangers, just so that I'd have something familiar to hold on to, because that's all I had left of you. When you came over the crippling feeling of emptiness seven months ago, all I had left was that. The feeling of not fucking being enough, the feeling of being used."
"So I started to look for guys who will make me feel just like that, because they only want me for the night and nothing more, and I beg for them to hurt me while they fuck me, so it can take away the pain in my heart for just a second", you exploded, just spitting out words without thinking how it sounded, how it would make him, you, feel.
You felt the hot tears behind your eyes again, but you blinked them away, willing them to stay unshed. You would not let him make you cry. He was looking at you with furious eyes, his expression one of rage under the surface.
"No. Fuck. This isn't how this discussion was supposed to go", he said, running his fingers through his hair, frustration getting the best of him. He turned his back to you, but then he turned right back around to face you. "Tell me that's not true. Tell me you've not become the whore you're describ—", he started, but didn't get to finish.
Blind rage at the word he had used took over you, and before you knew it, your right palm had connected with his left cheek, making him stop what he was saying, his head turning to the side with the force of it. "Fuck you. You don't fucking get to call me that, when you're the fucking cause. You might not have fucked as many people as I have, but you started this. You fucked someone else fi—", you seethed.
The rest of your sentence got swallowed and went unspoken, as Changbin's hand caught both of your wrists and pinned them above your head to the wall behind you. Your head connected to the wall with a violent thud as his other hand grabbed you by the neck, pushing you to the wall and pressing from the sides. He wasn't choking you, but making it impossible for you to talk as you tried to focus on catching your breath, being distracted by the sting on the back of your head.
Even with your heels on, you weren't taller than Changbin, but even if with the added height you were almost at eye level, he towered over you with his size. And there it was. The hate in his eyes, causing him to act before he was able to think, your words having finally hit their target.
His eyes were black with anger, and yet all you felt was a buzz of excitement. This was what you were after every night when you sought out someone. Rough and violent. Dull the pain. Replace it with another. Fuck, he looked attractive when he was angry.
And then you felt it, as if a switch had gone off. His stance softened just minutely, and his eyes went from harsh to softer, but the position of his hands stayed. Before he'd retract any further, your body acted on its own accord, surging forward to scratch the itch only his body could ease.
Maybe you only ever needed him to ease the itch, no one else, but you were too hurt to go there. But not tonight. He had started this, he had fucking asked you to come here, so he could explain himself, only to start an argument that escalated. He would fucking finish this too, or you would for him.
Your lips connected with his as you pushed your head forward as far as it could go with his hand still pressing against your neck. And as if he had been waiting for it, his body reacted to the action of yours. He met you halfway, kissed you, not letting go of either your wrists or your neck, pressing his lips onto yours. Lips opening to each other's, the kiss was sloppy, messy, teeth clashing as you poured a year's worth of hurt, pain, need, hate, anger, desperation, and stupidly, also love mixed with lust, into it.
Then he pulled away, his hand dropping from your neck and his other releasing your wrists as he took a step back, his eyes glossy with shock. "I'm so fucking sorry. Did I hurt you? I shouldn't have done that, I'm so sorry," he panicked. He reached for you, intending to check on the back of your head, his expression worried.
No, no, no, no. You needed him to stay angry. To rip you apart, to fuck you now that he had woken up the monster inside you that was addicted to pain. "No. Don't you fucking dare. I fucking asked for it. I slapped you. Show me how much you fucking hate me, how you hate the knowledge that I've fucked other people. How I've let them hurt me, because I needed them to hurt me so the hurt you caused would dull away for just a moment."
"Show me how you hate the realization that you turned me into a whore. You fucked up the single most precious thing you could have had with me if you didn't cheat. You made me this way. I wasn't enough for you, so this is what I am now," you gritted out, every word laced with all the hurt you had been carefully holding onto.
"Not enough for anyone. Never enough. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not anything. Just not enough. Now fucking use me like I've let all those other men use me, to hurt me, all because I was chasing a ghost of you. Fuck me like you hate me. Because you do. You never fucking loved me, cared enough to not hurt me."
"FUCKING SHOW ME HOW WORTHLESS I AM!" you yelled, pushing him with each sentence, hands on his chest, making him retreat until the back of his thighs hit the edge of the bed.
Push. Push. Push. Snap.
His hand went into the back of your head, grabbing a handful of your hair close to your scalp before yanking you closer to him, your noses almost touching, your hands caught in between you on his chest. "Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Stop fucking belittling yourself, telling lie after lie about what you think I'm thinking," he fumed, his breath hot on your skin.
You tried to struggle against his hold, realizing it was all in vain. You weren't afraid of him or what he would do, but your body acted on its own, needing the sting of pain his tight grip was causing. Your hands clawed at his shirt, not being able to grab a hold of it due to the compression.
Your knees buckled and you landed on your knees, making Changbin yank your head upwards, causing a sudden change in your demeanor. You went from only being furious to starting to get turned on under his rough touch, and you smiled, your tongue pushing between your teeth, pushing at your upper teeth. You looked him in the eyes and the realization dawned on him.
"Is this what you want, huh?" he asked, his voice suddenly hoarse. "Is this what you need?" he continued. "For me to fucking manhandle you and throw you around? For my touch to cause pain?" he added.
"Yes," you breathed out. He looked straight through your eyes into your soul with those black coffee eyes, and all you could see was venom, but it mixed with something softer, something deeper. He grabbed his glasses and threw them away, not caring where they landed.
"Fine," he gruffed and pulled you up, one of his hands on your arm, the other still in your hair, the sting of pain so deliciously numbing to your hurling emotions. When you were back up and standing, he crashed his lips on yours.
Rough, hard, demanding. You opened for him instantly, your reaction and familiarity of it making you shudder before you pushed the thought back. His other hand found the back of your neck, pulling you even closer to him.
You wrapped your arms around his, holding onto his biceps as he bit your bottom lip, harder than he ever had before, making you moan into his mouth. You fucking loved biting. It was such an easy way to cause pain. You let go of his arms to shrug your blazer off. The second it hit the floor, your hands went to the hem of his compression shirt, tugging it up.
Changbin didn't move his hands away from your hair so you couldn't get the shirt off, but having lifted it up over his chest you were able to let your hands roam on his front while he kept devouring your lips, touching the soft skin over his abs. Not as defined as some of his members', but still fucking sexy as hell.
As your hands continued upwards to his pecs, you felt him shiver. The reaction flooded a hail of memories into your brain, making your eyes sting. Gods you had fucking missed him, missed his touch, missed touching him. Your core heated, and you could feel yourself already getting wet for him.
You dropped your hands down between you, and with one of them you palmed his front, finding him already hard. He groaned into the kiss, his hips bucking slightly towards your hands, the other one having joined the first. He was just as big as you remembered. How could you even forget? He always stretched you so well, no other cock ever living up to his no matter how many you had tried after him.
Then suddenly he stopped kissing you, and before you could even blink, your world was spinning and rushing forward, as you landed face first onto the bed, Changbin's hand still on the back of your neck. He pushed you down onto the mattress, his hand moving to your upper back from your neck so you could turn your head to the side.
His hand slid down your spine, stopping over your lower back. Your feet were still on the floor, so you were basically bent over on the bed for him. "Your dress is this fucking short? I can practically see your cervix when you bend over," he breathed out.
"That's the point. Easy access," you replied, your tone breathy like his. You were trying to catch your breath, still surprised from how he pushed you to the bed.
You liked it hard and rough sometimes when you were together too, but he was always careful with you. Now that seemed to be off the table. Or bed, but anyway. And you were ready for it. Needed it.
"Shouldn't have asked. Boots off, now," he replied and ordered. "I can't really do that if you hold onto me like that," you replied, sarcasm dripping through. "Bend your knee back," he said, voice firm. You did, bending your right knee a little, lifting your foot off the floor. Changbin grabbed the heel and easily slid the boot off of your foot.
Thank the gods you had decided to wear these that were looser on the thigh and calf than the tight ones with the zipper. Once the boot was off, you switched legs, and he did the same to your other boot. Then, Changbin pressed his body against you, his clothed cock grinding against your ass that was barely covered.
"Feel that? That's what you do to me even when you're making me furious. We haven't talked for a year and you manage to get me both angry and fucking turned on at the same time," he murmured right into your ear.
"The feeling's fucking mutual. Now stop talking and touch me. Fuck me, take me, hurt me, ruin me. I want this. You want this. So shatter me, just so we can see if there's anything left for you to break", you grunted, pushing your ass to him the best you could, making your dress shimmy up over your ass.
Changbin hissed, and then got up, your words pestering him. But you knew you had gotten to him when his hand landed on your ass, hard. The thin tights did nothing to soften the blow, obviously, and the sting that followed made you groan. "Ahh, fuck. Yes, just like that", you hissed into the duvet.
"You're really ok with this? Because we've never done this while angry, and I don't want to actually hurt you", he asked, his palm still on your ass, not moving, concern seeping through. He emphasized hurt, making it known he was on board hurting you for pleasure, but not actually hurting you for pain. "Yes", you replied, simply, shortly, needing him to spank you again.
"You consent?", he asked, needing the verbal confirmation. "I consent. Do that again, I fucking need you", you said, admitting something without realizing it. "Your safeword?", he asked, still not moving his hand. "Still the same", you said, wiggling your ass under his hand. The sting of the first blow was already gone. "Which is? Say it out loud", he commanded.
"Dwaekki", you breathed out, and as you did, his hand landed on your ass again, harder, and this time he didn't stop. Blow after blow, he spanked both your cheeks, switching to the spot where your ass and thighs met at times before getting back to your ass. With each blow he grunted out a thought, now lost into the act of spanking, not even caring how his words sounded.
"How many guys have you let fuck this pussy, this ass, that mouth? How many have hurt you without caring about you? How many? Why? We should have talked. We shouldn't have let it get this far. I shouldn't have. I should have come after you."
You didn't think he wanted a reply to any of it, so you kept silent, bar your noises of pleasure. The sting of each blow was worse than the previous one, and it made you groan, push into his hand, moan out his name.
"Fuck I've missed hearing my name from your lips", he grunted. "Binnie", you whined, your ass and thighs already sore, the sting almost unbearable. But yet you craved it. Welcomed it. "You've turned into a pain slut", he said, and then your world was moving again.
Changbin pulled your ass to his clothed crotch, his arousal now thick and hard under his shorts. The fabric touching your sore skin made you whimper, and then you were being pulled up to standing from your waist. Without saying a word, Changbin's fingers grabbed the hem of your dress and yanked it up, making you lift your arms.
Your back was still to him, so you couldn't see his expression as he realized you were braless under it, but you heard his sharp inhale through his teeth. Then his hands grabbed your bare breasts, your back hitting his chest. You realized that he had lost his shirt at some point, as skin touched skin.
Your head fell back to his shoulder, and he took the opening to attach his lips to your neck while his hands massaged your breasts, pinching the peaked nipples a bit harder than necessary. You melted under the new sting, your knees going wobbly. He realized this and soon you were back on your front on the bed, similarly bent over as just a few minutes ago. Adding one more blow to your sore ass, he made you hiss.
"I know I said I need your touch to cause me pain, but that entailed also fucking me through it. I need the pain but not only that, so enough with the spanking and just f— aahh, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck", you complained and then moaned.
You were cut off mid-sentence as out of nowhere, Changbin ripped your tights, your ass and upper thighs now bare, and then with one swift move of his fingers, he moved your thong to the side and sunk two fingers into you and started to move them, in and out.
He pressed his lips to the sore spots he had hit, kissing the surely reddened raw skin thoroughly, not missing a single spot that was stinging, all the while pumping his fingers deeper into you, curling them in the search of your g-spot, opening them, stretching you.
"Can you feel how fucking wet you are for me? How your needy cunt is already clenching around my fingers just because I spanked you, because you claim to hate me and to need the pain to dull it all", he said. Without giving you time to reply, he continued, "Condom or no?", before scoffing as if that was a stupid question.
"Condom. If you've really been fucking whoever has breathed your way the past year I don't need to be catching anything you might have during that", he added, his tone telling you he clearly meant the words to hurt.
"Do you think I'm actually that stupid? I've always made the guys suit the fuck up, and I get tested regularly. Just this week actually, I'm fucking clean. But maybe it's best if we use one since you could have gods know what for all I know", you spat back, getting on your elbows so you could turn your head to look at him.
"I've not been with anyone since we broke up, I'm clean", he snapped, still reaching for his wallet on the bedside table, not moving from behind you. "And you fucked someone else just a few hours ago", he accused, tossing his wallet back on the table, having found a condom. "No, I didn't", you countered, causing him to pause. "What?", he asked, confused.
"I didn't fuck anyone today. He was too pure to do what I needed. He threw me out. I was just trying to hurt you by making it seem like I fucked someone just before coming here. I haven't fucked anyone this week. Actually, last week either. So do whatever you want, but do it now. Either put the condom on or don't, I don't care. But you need to decide now because that cock of yours better be inside me in the next 30 seconds", you replied.
Not able to process all the information properly, his inability to multitask shining through, he either ignored your reply or decided not to trust you as he ripped the packet open. With one hand he slipped his shorts and boxers down enough to free his cock so he could roll the condom on.
Not bothering to even discard the rest of his clothing, he turned his front to your back again. "Spread", he ordered, nudging at your right ankle with his right foot. You obeyed again, and then felt him settle himself between your spread legs, and the tip of his cock pushed against your entrance.
Your thong had slipped back to cover it. Without a warning, Changbin grabbed your thong with both of his hands, ripping the thin fabric. You inhaled in surprise, but didn't protest, as this again meant easier access for him. He yanked the ruined fabric up your body, the waistband still intact, hence keeping it on you but baring your pussy to him.
You felt the tip of his cock press against you again, your body already trembling with the need to have him inside you once more. I need this so fucking bad. Want it. "Please", you whined, pushing your ass towards him, making his cock slide over you, spreading your wetness over your folds to your ass and back.
"Oh so you can still be polite", he rasped, his tone revealing his need for you to be just as deep as yours for him. He positioned himself again before thrusting, sinking his entire girthy length into you, not giving you time to retort. A guttural, primal moan escaped your throat as your eyes rolled back. Yes. Finally. He feels so big. He feels like... home.
"Aahh, Binnie", you mewled, pushing back, needing him buried balls deep into you, even deeper, the need so massive and overpowering that just for a moment, you even forgot the hate that had been all you had for a year.
"Fuck", he groaned before starting to move, his hips finding a steady, punishing pace without letting you get used to his size.
One of his hands was on your waist, using you as leverage he could lean on, pushing you into the mattress. The other was holding your hip, the one with the bruise, grabbing you hard and tight enough over it for tears to spring to your eyes. He pulled your body to him to meet his every thrust, your backside stinging with each snap of his hips due to the earlier spanking.
"Shit. Ahh, fuck that hurts", you hissed, regretting it right away as you felt his grip on you loosen, his thrusts becoming just a tiny bit gentler, slower.
"Don't fucking stop, I didn't say the safeword", you seethed. After a few thrusts' worth of hesitation, he gripped you again, this time enough to surely cause a new bruise over the existing one. His hips found the punishing rhythm again as he fucked his hardness into you.
"Yes, fuck, just like that", you moaned, matching his thrusts the best you could in the position, arching your back more for him for better access. Your core was already tightening, and you didn't understand how. Why was your orgasm already so close when usually it took you way more with the others?
More friction, more pain, and through it more pleasure. And it never happened without some added clitoral stimulation, which usually was something you had to do yourself, as the guys you chose, purposefully, were too selfish to care.
Now Changbin hadn't even touched your clit, and you were already close, the sting on your ass and thighs heightening the sensation of him moving behind you. The tight grip on your hip was doing the rest. No— actually, that was all him. He was, had been, the missing factor. And fuck you if realizing that didn't hurt, again.
Suddenly Changbin moved, changing his position, now leaning over you, his hips grinding into you as deep as he could go, the tip of his cock pushing against your cervix. Supporting himself on his elbows, he kept moving in you but soon decided on something else. "This won't work", he said as he pulled out of you, earning a whiny grumble from you.
"No. I was beginning to get close", you complained. You hated the loss of contact and the sudden emptiness inside you. "Turn, on your back on the bed", he said, and you did, as fast as you could as he stood up. You pushed yourself further on the bed, grabbing a few pillows and placing them in front of the headboard, and then leaned back onto them, laying on your back, making your body just slightly elevated.
He knelt on the bed as well, then crawled to you, looking a lot like a predator that was after his prey, ready to finish it off. Yes. Come end me, my sweetheart, ruin me from all the rest again. Shaking off the pet name of endearment that slipped through your mind, you opened your legs for him, knees bent and wide. He placed one arm next to your chest, leaning onto it, as he used the other to guide his cock into you again, spearing you with the thick length.
Without a warning or needing some time to figure out how to move best to match with the needs of both of your bodies, he began grinding into you, thrusting deep, hard. Not fast, but hard. Exact, precise snaps of his hips, each one feeling as if he was trying to push even deeper into you.
Your core was tightening around him, the familiar feeling of a building orgasm tingling in the deepest depths of you. "Binnie, I—", you moaned, suddenly void of words to speak. You needed more, you needed something to push you over the edge. And as if he'd read your mind, he shifted his weight onto one arm, leaning onto his elbow, and snaked his other hand up.
He gripped your neck tight, knowing how to choke you without cutting your airways, but adding just the right amount of pressure to send your body spiraling out of control under him. But then, he added a new sensation, his trimmed fingernails pushing against your skin, scraping, stinging, so deliciously that out of nowhere, you exploded around him.
Your walls were clamping, spasming, fluttering around him, making him groan at the added tightness around his cock. Then his lips found yours, and he drank in your moans of pleasure, your whines, as if they were the exact thing he needed to keep breathing. The strength of his thrusts eased, but he replaced it with a faster pace, prolonging your orgasm, making it impossible for you to stop shaking under him.
He parted your lips so he could take a few deep breaths, almost stopping his movements, before pushing himself up on his knees to grab your ankles and to lift them on his shoulders. Then he leaned back forward, supporting himself on his straight arms now, but still bending you in half, trapping you under him in a position where it was difficult to move.
All you could do was just receive his thrusts, and try to not scream. The position made him feel impossibly big inside you, and you rolled your eyes back, the sensation so strong after just orgasming. Then, you fluttered your eyes back open, and found him looking straight into your soul. You couldn't take it.
"Stop looking at me with those eyes while you hate fuck me", you said, your moans of pleasure making you pause between some words. "What eyes?", he asked, deliciously grinding into you while doing so.
"Those eyes that don't hide the fact that you still think the sun rises and sets with me, when both of us know it's not true. You hate me. We're fucking that hate out, taking it out on each other. So don't look at me like that", you replied, your hands grabbing his arms. You wanted to move your hips, to match his thrusts, but in this position you couldn't.
"I don't know if this can be called hate fucking if I don't hate you", he said, pausing his hips for just a few heartbeats before thrusting into you again. Fuck, he knows just how to work your body the way you need it to be worked. "Don't lie", you breathed out, the position making you ache for more movement on your limbs, but you were trapped.
"I'm not. Even if you hate me, I never hated you. I'm just angry things got this far and I didn't do anything earlier to fix them. I'm angry that you've done all this to yourself. I hate the fact that you've been with other men, and it's all my own fucking fault", he countered.
Realizing you needed to move your legs, without words he lifted his body just a smidge so you could slide your legs down his arms, spreading you wide. Changbin moved his arms over them, and as you placed your feet on the bed, knees bent and started to move your hips, grinding under him to match his thrusts, he dropped to his elbows.
His chest pushed your breasts together, and the way he started to grind his hips added just the right type of friction on your clit. Moaning, you uttered your next comeback, not willing to let go of your point. "So you do hate me."
Changbin dipped his head and kissed you, feverishly, and your fingers wound into his hair, now damp from both the gym and sex sweat. You bit his lower lip and he hissed, reacting with a harsher thrust deeper into you. "No, I don't. Don't twist my words. I hate what's happened to us, you, me. But I don't hate you," he murmured against your lips before moving his to the sensitive skin on your neck, right under your ear.
"Same difference," you moaned, moving your hands to his wide back, scratching him a bit, not enough to leave a mark, but enough to scathe, just a bit. "I— fuck me," he grunted, and began to move his hips faster yet again. "I am," you responded, grinning slightly as he snapped his head back up from your neck, looking into your eyes again. His eyes softened just a bit further, making your insides melt.
"Shut up," he huffed out, a small laugh accompanying it. "Then stop looking at me like that, like I said in the first place," you repeated your original plea. "Like what?" he asked, again, wanting you to voice your thoughts. "Like you still love me," you sighed, the sound almost being muffled by your heavy breaths.
"But I do," he replied, dropping his forehead to touch yours. The movement of his hips slowed down, and suddenly it felt like he changed the rules of the game. Like he was making love to you, not fucking you, and definitely not hate fucking, even if that was what this should have been, needed to be.
"No you don't," you whispered, your chest tightening at the dialogue and the feelings it was causing.
You were starting to feel maybe you should have called, begged him to meet you when you were hurting, to explain what happened and why. Maybe you could have worked it all out. And maybe, you would still be together, and you wouldn't be this ruined, tainted excuse of a woman.
"What do you even know, honestly? You walked out, remember?" he said, and brought one of his hands back, tapped the outside of your thigh, signaling he wanted you to wrap your legs around him. So you did, and replied. "Fuck you."
Changbin lifted his head, but not for long, as he descended his lips on yours again. You could feel his smirk. "You're doing that."
This fucker... He made you want to roll your eyes at him, but you settled for scoffing. But the scoff turned into a moan, as your second orgasm was already rearing its head, the explosion just behind a thin veil. "Stop talking and make me come again, so hard that I see stars. Bite me," you said then, and snaked one of your hands between you, to your clit, and started to circle it with just enough added pressure that your body twitched, the thin veil lifting.
"What?" he responded, surprise clear in his tone. "You heard me. Bite me. On my shoulder, my clavicle, my breasts, anywhere. Mark me. Claim me so that anyone can see..." you moaned, sighing onto his lips as he caught your lower lip between his teeth.
And then, he did. Quickly moving his lips from yours to the crook of your neck, he bit you, his teeth sinking into the delicate skin, not enough to break it but enough to surely leave a mark and a bruise. You hissed, the pain surprising you, but it quickly turned into a delicious thrum of added pleasure, making you preen.
Then, he licked the spot he just had bit, your pulse thrumming under his tongue as his cock worked its magic inside you, grinding, thrusting, again at a punishing pace, now hard and fast combined. Just as you pressed and circled your clit once more, he bit you again on your left breast, right above your heart, sending you crash-landing, freefalling, the veil exterminated, utterly destroyed. You screamed out his name, cursing as you reached your ecstasy.
His teeth found your right nipple, and he bit around it, making you drop your feet back onto the mattress. Your back arched so that your chest lifted as you pulsated around his relentless cock, now pistoning into you as fast as he could go, again prolonging your pleasure.
Then your hands cupped his cheeks, suddenly desperately needing his lips on yours, and you pulled him into an intense, burning kiss, as you felt his thrusts becoming sloppy. "Come for me, Binnie," you pleaded against his lips, and it was as if your words were his undoing, because out of nowhere he cursed, groaning as he reached completion, spilling his release into the condom inside you.
You stayed like that for a while, before you untangled yourselves from each other's bodies, him getting up and going into the bathroom to discard the condom. He came back with a warm, wet towel. You were laying on your side, the bruised hip up. You were suddenly deadly tired, exhausted from crying, and blissed out from the best fucking sex you had had in over a year. Probably even more.
"Lift your leg a bit for me, princess," Changbin murmured, and out of familiarity, your body did as he asked. He cleaned you with a towel, even though he hadn't released into you. "You don't have to do all that," you mumbled, but you were too tired to move, to protest further.
"Let me," he replied, and retreated back into the bathroom. He came back with another towel, wet as well. He pressed it onto your hip, on your bruise, making you wince slightly at the warm touch of the fabric on sore skin. Without a word, he left the towel there, went back into the bathroom and came back with two bottles and another wet towel.
He placed the bottles on the bedside table and as he moved your upper body so that he could press the second towel onto the bite marks one by one, rubbing soothingly, you squinted your eyes open. You didn't realize you had closed them. You were so tired.
You blinked a few times, squinting in the dark room to see what the bottles were. Water, and aloe vera. After Changbin was satisfied with the bruises and bite marks, he went to discard the wet towels again, before getting back. You realized he had discarded his clothes, as he was fully naked now.
"Are you awake enough to shower?" he asked you, his voice weirdly gentle. You shook your head. "Too exhausted," you replied weakly. You all of a sudden felt like crying again. All the emotions over what had happened surging towards the surface all at once.
"I'll carry you. You need to shower, at least wash the makeup off. I need to shower. We'll be quick, ok? Then you can sleep here," he said softly, already lifting you, being careful to not touch your hip or spanked ass.
Too tired to protest, you let him carry you bridal style to the bathroom, where the steam of the shower was already filling the air. He set you on the sink counter and wrapped your arms over his shoulders as he removed your ruined tights from your legs, ripping the fabric open on your waist and then sliding the thin fabric off of you.
Then he yanked at your ripped thong, breaking it further so he didn't have to lift you to slide it off of you. Discarding both ruined pieces to the bin, he then scooped you up again and walked you into the shower.
He carefully washed your face, removing any traces of makeup that you hadn't already wiped or cried off. Then he washed your hair, gently rubbing at your sensitive scalp, before soaping up your body and rinsing everything off. Then, quickly, he washed himself one handed while his other arm wrapped around your waist.
You leaned to his chest, the warm water washing away all thoughts, all worries. All you were awake enough to think was that this was where you belonged. In his arms. And it scared you shitless.
Changbin turned the shower off, then dried you thoroughly, rubbing your scalp and hair as dry as he could get it with a towel. Then he added some coconutty leave-in conditioner, and quickly finger combed the worst tangles out. Then, without a word, he braided your hair, and secured the end with a hair tie he had fished out of his toiletry bag.
You recognized it. It was one of the pink and white striped ones you had left at his place.
Once he was done with your hair, Changbin carried you back to the bed, laying you on your back. He cracked the bottle of water open, and offered you a sip, which you eagerly took. After placing the water back on the bedside table, he murmured softly into your ear, "I'll rub some aloe onto your bruises quickly, then you can sleep, ok?" You nodded, not even trying to fight the aftercare anymore.
He made quick work of the bitemarks, rubbing the aloe on them gently, before turning you on your side to treat the hip bruise. Once he was finished with that, he turned you on your stomach, and repeated the process on the sore skin of your ass and upper back thighs. You felt yourself drift off to sleep.
You felt Changbin move you again, onto your side. Before you drifted completely off, you felt him get behind you, snuggling your back against his chest, spooning you, your bare ass against his clothed crotch, spooning you. Right before you fell into a dreamless sleep, you managed one more thought.
It had been far too long from the last time he had cuddled you to sleep.
You opened your eyes, squinting. It was still dark, but it could also be due to the thick curtains Changbin seemed to have pulled over the windows.
You realized he was still snuggling to your back, breathing deeply.
Your heart panged painfully as you remembered his words while you were fucking, his actions after the rough sex.
You couldn't face all the thoughts and memories, not now. You squirmed out of Changbin's hold, and he sighed, moved a little, but seemingly stayed asleep.
You sat up on the edge of the bed, realizing you were still naked. You glanced back at Changbin, his face so peaceful as he slept. You got up, tiptoed to the bathroom to pee. You realized you didn't have any underwear. All you had was your dress and your blazer, your boots.
You needed to get back to your room, where you could slide into your pjs and hopefully get a few more hours of sleep. But the issue was... your heart didn't want you to leave. But your mind was telling you to go, to escape, to run, before he could wake up and ask you to stay.
Because if he did, you were afraid you would, even if it was most likely the worst thing you could do. To stay with a man that had broken you, hurt you, replaced you. And had the audacity to say he still loved you, and didn't hate you even knowing you had fucked anyone willing to cause you pain after him.
You walked back into the room, as silently as you could and grabbed one of Changbin's t-shirts that lay used on the top of his suitcase. Long enough to cover your ass, you thought it would suffice in getting you from his room to yours. You'd return it to him later somehow.
You went to grab your purse, your dress and blazer, all placed neatly on the table next to his suitcase. As you bent down to grab your boots, you heard him speak up, his voice groggy with sleep. "Don't leave." You sighed. Fucking damnit.
"I don't think I should stay, Binnie. You got what you wanted, clearly. I got my high and a few hours of sleep. Don't you think it's the best if I go? There's nothing else to do or say", you replied, picking your boots up, looking at him for a moment before turning for the door. But what he said next made you stop in your tracks.
"But there is. You think you know what happened, but you don't know a thing. I never got to set things right. And I didn't get what I wanted. Not fully. Please. Stay. Let's talk. We owe it to ourselves to talk. I owe you an explanation, an apology."
"I'm not expecting anything. I just want you to know what really happened. I'm not angry at you, I don't care how many guys you've fucked after me, I don't hate you. But if I get to set things right, maybe you'll stop hating me and there won't be more. Will you stay and let me explain?", he pleaded.
You turned back around, looking at him. His eyes were so... earnest, begging for you to come back. "Ok. I'll stay." You walked back, placed your things on the floor, and got back into bed.
Changbin was sitting now, his legs under the covers, his chest bare. You sat in front of him, legs crossed, pulling his t-shirt down to cover your bare nethers. After a few moments of silence, he broke it.
"So how many were there, after me?", he asked, his voice low and quiet. You sighed. You knew he would ask, even if he adamantly said he didn't care. At that moment, you decided that for you to be able to talk, you would need raw honesty. Even if it meant hurting the other with the reply. So you told him the truth.
"I don't know. I stopped counting after ten. There wasn't anyone for seven months at first. And then just a few for the next three. But then I realized I couldn't sleep well without getting someone to consensually cause me pain during pleasure. So I spiraled out of control and stopped counting. I'm sorry."
You dropped your head to look at your hands that were between your legs, playing with the hem of the shirt. Shame washed over you suddenly, scalding your nerves. "You don't have to be sorry. I'm sorry I asked right after saying I don't care how many there were. I'm sorry for everything hurtful I said earlier", Changbin said.
For a few moments you were trying to find the right words to reply to him, but you always circled back to the same thought. So you voiced it, your voice raw with tears you were trying your damndest to not shed.
"I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you. I wish I was, because I'd do anything to go back to... to before it happened. We were happy. I want to be happy again. I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to feel so empty like I have been feeling for a year. What we did tonight, it was rough and it was needed, but all I was able to think while you took care of me after, that this is where I belong, and it scares the living shit out of me. Because I'm afraid of getting hurt again."
Changbin sighed, then rubbed his face with both of his hands, before dropping them on his lap. "You've said it multiple times today, that you're not enough. That couldn't be further from the truth. You always were, more than enough, princess", he then said. Heat lashed in your chest, as the senseless anger began to raise its ugly head again.
"Don't lie, Binnie. You told me you cheated. You left me for someone else, someone who was everything I'm not, someone who was enough for you when I never was. I never was", you countered.
"I never said any of that, though. You did. All I did was go along with what you had cooked up in your overthinking mind, because I realized at that moment, that it was the only way to get you to let me go", he responded, a bit irritated.
"So you wanted me to leave", you fought back, knowing damn well your words made no sense. He never said he wanted you to leave, but somehow it seemed easier to fight back than accept his words as they were. "No! What the fuck? I never wanted you to leave. I never cheated, there was no one else", he lashed out suddenly, annoyance and anger rising once more.
What? He is lying. He is, right?, you think.
"Then why the fuck didn't you say none of it was true? Why did you never try to correct me? Why did you have to break my heart into millions of tiny sharp pieces that I never got to fit back together anymore when you let me believe you had cheated if you never had?" you said, trying not to raise your voice.
You could practically hear your heart cracking a bit more over the realization that all you had believed for a year might be a lie. He didn't cheat on you. He didn't replace you. You did that. You replaced him with multiple others, just because you thought he replaced you. You didn't cheat, but you did replace.
You were starting to feel dizzy. It all could have been prevented, your pain and hurt, your heartbreak, his hurt, if you had just fucking talked.
"Because it was the only way you'd leave me. It was the only way I could protect you," Changbin gritted out, exasperated.
"Protect me from fucking what?" you countered, failing miserably at controlling your tone.
Why are we fighting? He wanted to talk, not to fight.
"From the company," Changbin replied, sighing aggravatedly.
"No, don't bullshit me with that, it wasn't the company's fault you broke my heart and threw me out of your life like yesterday's trash," you spat out. You would not let him blame the company for this.
He was the one who ultimately made the choice to leave you, or to get you to leave him, no matter what the trigger behind it was. It might not have been another girl, if it was the company, but he would need to take accountability here. But why would you need protection from the company? It made no sense.
"No it wasn't, I'm not saying it's the company's fault. It's my fault. I broke under pressure, because I couldn't do it to you, what they were requiring of me, of you," he breathed out, clearly trying to control his tone and agitation.
"You're not making any fucking sense. Why do you even care anymore, why do you feel like you need to explain? It's been a year and you never even tried to contact me once. It's not like you care. You never even loved me," you said, making him snap his head up to meet your eyes, but yours were downcast and looking at your thighs.
"You think I didn't love you?" he asked, clear hurt in his tone. "You didn't. If you did you wouldn't have said you cheated and found someone better if you actually didn't," you said, your words mumbled. You felt the tears again spring to your eyes, hot and blaming. Blaming yourself, even if your words blamed him. I should have called him.
"Stop saying that, I never said that. And I do fucking care. Still do. I still fucking love you, don't you get it? It's because I do that we're in this fucked up situation to begin with," he said, his voice now gentler, tired, breaking slightly at the words 'love you'. He was being vulnerable, honest. And you couldn't accept it.
You swung your legs off the bed and stood up, going to your stuff again. "No, you don't get to do that. I can't take this. This is bullshit, you're lying. Don't fucking tell me you love me when you fucking broke me. I don't even know what's real anymore," you mumbled as the tears were dangerously close to breaking free.
You grabbed your clothes and boots, your purse, and tried to turn to walk away, but Changbin was right behind you, grabbing your waist, turning you to him, making you drop your things. "Don't leave, not again," he pleaded, slight panic in his voice.
"Not again? It's not like I had a choice back then. I thought you had replaced me, fucked someone else, fallen for someone else," you said, looking him in the eyes, the tears now openly rolling down your cheeks. "Princess, I could have never..." he started, but you cut him short. "Then fucking tell me what the fuck are you talking about!" you yelled.
"I LOVE YOU !," Changbin yelled back, looking straight into your eyes, his soul searching for yours, reaching out, his eyes shimmering. He cupped your face, his thumbs brushing your tears away as he continued.
"Ok? I said it already while I had you under me but you didn't want to hear me, you didn't believe me. I love you. I never stopped. I fucking love you so much it tears me apart. I've been dying on the inside for a year and two days because I let you walk out on me. It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest with hot cleavers and fucking stomped on when you thought I was cheating, that I had found someone else. But I was a coward and I let you believe that lie your overthinking mind came up with so easily."
"I acted distant like a fucking fool so you would question us, when all I wanted to do was hold you, love you. I went along with the lie your overthinking mind cooked up, because it was the easiest way to make you thoroughly hate me in seconds, because I needed you to. If you didn't, you wouldn't have walked out and I couldn't have protected you. I wasn't able to then. I didn't know how. I know better now."
It took a moment to process everything he said. He was hurting too. He didn't want to break you apart. His hands were still cupping your face. "You needed me to hate you? Why?" you then asked.
"Because it was the only way I knew that would make you leave. And getting you to leave was me trying to protect you. The fact that you so easily believed that I would have been able to cheat on you hurt like I was being burned alive, but I got you to leave. I got you to hate me, like I needed you to," Changbin replied.
"But fucking why?" you asked again.
"Because, the company found out we were dating."
You blinked. "And? It's not like you had a dating ban anymore," you argued and shifted back a bit, making him drop his hands.
"No. But it might as well have been that I did," he responded, letting out a loud exhale.
"What do you mean?" you demanded.
"The company didn't approve. You weren't in the industry. Well, not in the way they'd have approved of. You worked for us, for me. Well not anymore by then because you changed places when we began dating. But you weren't..." Changbin started.
"What?"
"This is not what I think, ok? It's all what our PD, PR, HR, everyone said, but... You weren't attractive enough to be my girlfriend because you weren't Korean. You weren't passable in the media. You'd get me bad press, because you had been my makeup artist. They said my fans would abandon me. I tried to fight it, but hearing everything they would have required you to do if they allowed us to continue... I couldn't ask you to. Wouldn't," he continued.
"I tried negotiating, but they didn't listen. They gave me an ultimatum, and I said I would never ask you to do it all, because to me you're perfect just the way you were, and I knew our true fans wouldn't hate me for dating you. But they shoved the contract down my throat, coming up with a loophole. They said the contract couldn't tell us not to date at all when the ban was over, but it did vaguely tell us who we couldn't."
"It could be read so that staff wasn't on the allowed list. Even if you weren't on staff anymore, you had been when we started dating. So they forced the contract on me, saying I had broken it and that there would be consequences if I either didn't break it off with you or have you change everything about you. I couldn't ask you for that," he explained.
"What did they want me to do?" you then asked, after a few moments of processing the info. Changbin sat down on the edge of the bed, sighing, as if it hurt him to explain all this. "To lose weight. Too much of it. To get a breast reduction. Remove your beauty mark above your lip. Change your hair. Redo your teeth. Get your piercings removed, your stretch marks treated, your tattoos removed."
"To change the way you dress. To get you a personal trainer and a diet, and to change the way you act. The way you talk. They wanted you to become a fucking doll, someone who didn't even look like you anymore, who wouldn't act like you anymore, talk like you. They even went as far as to say you needed a Korean nickname. And I couldn't do that to you," he gritted out, a pained expression on his face.
Was that it? Was that all that broke you apart? "I would have, though. I'd have changed for you," you said then, making Changbin smile weakly. "I know. And that's why I had to push you away, to protect you from what the company wanted you to become, what you would have offered to become to stay with me. I loved you as you were. I still do. I didn't want you to change. I still don't."
You scoffed. "You're fucking stupid as a boot," you blurted out. "Excuse me?" he responded, surprised. "Did you really break us apart for that? Rather than talking it through with me, you allowed me to believe you cheated, that you didn't want me, that I wasn't enough? All for fucking nothing," you fumed, the anger again bubbling to the surface.
"It was not nothing. The company forced my hand, and I couldn't do that to you," he replied, keeping his voice calm.
Gods, he was so annoying when he used to do that while you were fighting when dating.
You lashed out where he stayed calm. You used to never be able to rile him up. "We would have found a way," you countered.
"Back then, no, we wouldn't have," he replied.
"Back then?"
"Yes. Back then. Now I have a way. We renewed our contracts. And just because I never got over you and kept hoping, wishing for a miracle... I negotiated terms that would allow me to be with you, without any company strings attached or conditions you or I would have to meet. It wasn't just me, the guys wanted more freedom on it too, but I pushed on it the hardest," Changbin explained.
You were trying to process his words, your mind running in loops over the fact that he had gone to such lengths, even renegotiating things on their renewed contract... for you? It couldn't be for you. Why would it be?
Even if he didn't cheat on you, didn't replace you, and through some miracle accepted what you had become and still loved you like he adamantly stated... Why would he do that? "What are you saying?" you asked. Changbin paused. He took a deep inhale, then exhaled. And then spoke out. "I'm saying... that I want you back."
No. This isn't real. It can't be. You're dreaming. He couldn't, wouldn't... You pinched your arm, wincing. It was real. "Binnie..." you said, your eyes again watering.
"I do. I mean it. I don't care how many people you were with after me, I don't care how you've changed. I want you, need you back. I need you like I need air to breathe. I've been a complete wreck ever since you walked out, you can ask the guys if you don't believe me. You said you want to be happy again, that you don't want to hurt anymore. We could be happy again. Let me make you happy. I'll make sure I'll never hurt you again. Please."
Your head was spinning. Was he actually saying these words, or were you just imagining it all? All you had wanted, even amongst your hate for him, was to have him back. "But what if I enjoy the pain now? Physical, at least. Emotional, not so much but even that, sometimes," you whispered, somehow ashamed to admit it, even if he had fucked you last night, causing said physical pain to you, and seen you enjoy it.
"Then I'll learn your boundaries and we'll discuss what you want and need, and what I want and need and what we're both comfortable with. But only if you take me back. I can't do this if we won't try again, really try," he replied.
A small sob escaped your throat as your knees buckled, and you knelt in front of him, taking his hands in yours as the world as you knew it crumbled beneath your feet. All your hate had been for nothing. All your hurt, for nothing. And you had clung onto those just because your pride could not take a hit and try to talk to him earlier, like you so desperately wanted to already the evening you walked out.
"Take you back? You should be the one taking me back. I walked out. I thought you cheated and believed the lie my mind came up with when you never even did, you didn't even admit to it but my brain made me believe you had. I did things that should hurt you, disgust you. I should disgust you," you cried, your forehead on his thighs.
"None of it disgusts me. Hurts me? Maybe. But I'll get over it. We'll get over it, if you want, together. I hurt you worse than you hurt me, after all," he replied, his voice so gentle you felt like he was afraid you'd physically break. He knelt with you, hugging you to his chest.
"Did you though? I don't know if it can be measured, if we're both hurting all the same," you said, sobbing into his chest. After a moment, he released you and lifted your eyes to meet his, his hands gently under your chin. "Then we won't. We'll just get over both of our hurts. Will you do it with me? Together?" he responded, and asked, looking at you like his whole world was right in front of him.
"I can't promise easy or things to be how they were before," you said quietly, looking for any signs of hesitation, afraid you would see some. He had turned your whole world upside down and back, all in one night, just like he did a year ago.
This time it didn't hurt any less as it did back then, but it hurt differently. Bittersweetly, as all the regret of the lost time together hit you with the weight and speed of a bullet train, tears again falling down your cheeks. "I'm not even asking for it. I just want you back into my life, princess. For you to be mine," Changbin replied.
"Okay," you agreed. "Ok? You'll be mine again?" he asked, the hope in his eyes multiplying by the milliseconds as they passed. "I always was yours, that never went away even if I tried my fucking hardest," you huffed out, a slight laugh escaping in between the tears. "So you'll stay?"
"Yeah, I'll stay."
Your Eyes ~ Minho x fem reader
A/n : Sorry, if the plot was more than the smut. This is originally a smut series but I got carried away writing so just bare with me 😔
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The one where you take care of him when he's sick, with any and all ways you know he needs.
Continuing with a bit more fluff
Member: Minho
Word count: 8875
*Warnings: MINORS DNI, +18, smut, fluff, cursing, swearing, unprotected sex, oral (FMC receiving), clitoral stimulation, creampie, shower scene, cockwarming*
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Idol au
Suggested song : Earned it by the weeknd
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Cockwarming, caretaking, shower sex
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You knew Minho had had a few especially busy and schedule-wise grueling weeks.
Between music shows that they did to promote their group's new album, a fashion show attendance on another continent with a big time difference, a few youtube content filming schedules and preparing very hard for the upcoming tour dates for the world tour they would soon be starting, he had little to no time to rest.
So, it came as no surprise to you that when you came home after a long day at work yourself, that the lights were off in your shared apartment, especially when you knew he had been stuck in a studio today, filming back-to-back interviews for eight hours straight since ten in the morning.
"Thank goodness tomorrow is a day off for the both of us", you said to yourself as you flicked the lights on and the kittens scurried to the foyer to greet you. You toed your shoes off and kneeled down, petting Soonie and Doongie each with one of your hands, giving them scratches, as Dori rubbed against your legs, begging for attention as well.
"Hi babies. You missed you today. Have you gotten dinner yet? Where's daddy?", you cooed at them, getting up with Dori in your arms, kissing him as you slipped your feet into your house slippers and walked to the kitchen, Soonie and Doongie trailing behind you, meowing loudly.
You guess they didn't eat yet, if they did they wouldn't be as vocal. Wonder why Minho didn't feed them. Maybe he's already asleep?
Your poor jagi, working himself to exhaustion.
You knew Minho enjoyed his job, loved it, lived for it, was destined for it, but even so, you wished sometimes he, all the guys, would get more time to rest between all the schedules. You set Dori down on the counter.
In case Minho was sleeping already, you didn't want to wake him, so you checked the fur babies' bowls and found them dry on the table, meaning Minho indeed hadn't yet fed them. You prepared the kittens' food quickly and put the bowls in their place by the wall, the hungry rascals quickly digging in. You filled their waters and went looking for Minho.
All the lights in the apartment were off, except the ones you had now flicked on in the foyer, kitchen and living room. You lowered the brightness for the kitchen and living room lights, switching the foyer light off completely.
You walked down the hallway to check his dance room first, where he sometimes stayed up all night perfecting choreographies or practicing them to the tiniest details.
You didn't hear any music, but you knocked gently nonetheless, not wanting to surprise him in case he was deep in thought or watching a video he filmed of himself practicing a dance. Hearing no reply, you opened the door slightly to find the room empty. Ok so not working on dance, at least.
You peeked into your office quickly, finding it empty as well after knocking. Is he washing up? Or maybe he really is sleeping.
You shuffled quietly towards your bedroom, and saw a faint light shining under the door. You knocked lightly. "Minho?", you called, barely louder than a whisper as you cracked the door open, quietly, in case he was sleeping.
The light in the room was coming from the bedside mood lamp on your side of the bed, the brightness set to the very lowest setting. Minho was laying on his side on the bed, on his back on top of the duvet, feet hanging off the bed, one of his arms over his eyes.
He was still dressed in his interview clothes, makeup on. "Jagiya?", he called weakly, hearing you come in, not moving an inch. Oh no. Migraine.
"Oh jagi. Is it bad?", you said softly, moving to kneel beside the bed. His hand searched blindly for you, and you took it, held it between yours as you kissed the tips of his fingers.
"Not the worst. Not the easiest either", he groaned. "Feels like someone is stabbing an ice pick into my skull through my eyes", he managed.
"Any nausea?", you asked, worry notable in your voice.
Minho shook his head.
"Sound sensitivity?", you continued.
Minho shook his head again.
"Lights hurt? Aura?", you added, ticking the list inside your head.
Head shaking again.
"Just tired?", you asked.
"Exhausted", he replied with a deep sigh.
"You didn't eat?", you asked, rhetorically, knowing he didn't if the migraine was already pounding enough for him to not feed the cats.
"Couldn't", he replied.
When you got up and tried to go to the bathroom to fetch his painkillers, he grabbed onto your hand tighter, not wanting to let you go.
"Stay. Please jagiya", he said, his arm slipping from over his eyes that he opened, squinting them, trying to see you despite the pain it caused to get them open.
"I'm not going anywhere jagi, I'll just get you your meds. Ok?", you said, leaning down to place a soft kiss on his cheek. Minho nodded, letting go of your hand, dropping it weakly to the bed.
You walked to the en-suite bathroom, quietly rummaging through your medicine cabinet to find his migraine medicine. It was strong, but it always helped.
He'd feel groggy for a few hours after it kicked in, but then he'd be good as new usually rather quickly. You filled up a glass of water from the bottle that was on the counter and rattled one pill out from the prescription bottle.
You walked back to the bedroom, handing the pill to Minho. "Lift your head up a bit Minho, I have the water right here", you ordered gently, placing the glass on his lips after he popped in the painkiller. You held his head as he gulped down the full contents of the glass, clearly also dehydrated in addition to being exhausted.
"Can you sit for a moment jagi? I'll help you get into more comfortable clothes, ok? I don't think those jeans, the button up and the cardigan are the best ones right now", you said, already moving to the dresser.
You heard Minho get up to sit, and you pulled an oversized soft t-shirt and thin loose lounge pants out from the drawer.
Minho had his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands as you turned back to him. You placed the comfy clothes next to him and kneeled again, pulling the white sweater off his shoulders and arms, him pliable under your touch.
He was usually so dominant, but whenever he was sick, especially with a migraine, he became the softest person, needy for attention and care. And you were more than happy to give it all and more to him, knowing how well he always also took care of you, sick or not.
You moved to unbutton the blue button-up shirt, pulling it off of him as well.
Minho opened his eyes ever-so slightly, lovingly watching you, his boba eyes shining, as you took care of him. "Arms up jagi", you said, pulling the undershirt from his jeans, up his torso and arms, off of him. "Can you stand for a moment? If not just lay back down and I'll help you out of those jeans there too", you said, focused on your task of taking care of him.
"So eager to get me out of my clothes? I can stand", he flirted.
You chuckled. Even with a headache, he always managed to throw in a flirty line. "Always, but the kind of activity you're thinking of now will have to wait", you flirted back, but kissed the scar on his abdomen, and then the v-line on his hips before starting to unbutton his jeans.
Minho huffed out a laugh and then hissed, and you realized the laugh must have hurt while you pulled down his jeans and he stepped out of them. His thick thighs made your mouth water, as always, but you focused on the task of getting him comfortable and back in bed, even if you kneeling in front of him had you wanting to pull down his boxers as well so you could take him into your mouth.
That would be for later when he felt better. Or maybe for tomorrow. Slow morning sex, followed by switching up with rough and sweet fucking throughout the day. Like during all your common free days between workdays. You fucked like rabbits.
"Boxers on or off? Don't be getting any ideas jagi, I just want you comfortable", you asked, your mouth curling into a smirk as he tugged the waistband of his boxers down. He always preferred being commando at home.
You pulled his boxers off of him, leaving him gloriously naked in front of you, you still fully dressed in your office attire, kneeling for him.
You quickly pressed another kiss on his v-line, now on the other side, making his semi-hard cock twitch ever so slightly. Even in pain he didn't fail to get at least slightly aroused under your touch. You loved the feeling of power that rushed through you due to the realization.
"Thank you, jagiya", Minho said, as he stepped into the lounge pants you held out for him, pulling them up to hang low on his waist. "For taking such good care of me", he continued as he sat down, placing his index finger under your jaw and his thumb on your chin, tilting your head up as he leaned down to press a soft kiss on your lips.
"Always, Minho", you said, giving him another peck before getting up. You offered the shirt to him and he pulled it over his head, sliding his arms in. "Lay back down. I'll bring you more water and I'll wash your makeup off."
"We can shower later together once you feel better, ok?", you continued and walked back to the bathroom, throwing his clothes in the laundry hamper and fetching some makeup wipes from the vanity.
You dampened a towel with warm water and grabbed another water bottle from the bedroom small fridge you had placed on the side of the dresser for quick access for hydration.
Minho was laying down on the bed, eyes closed again, one of his one of his legs bent to the side. "Don't kneel on the floor, jagiya. You can sit on me while you wash my face", he said, voice still weak from the pain. Your heart fluttered at that, knowing he was always thinking of you and your best even while sick.
It was so sweet it made you shiver. "You sure?", you asked as you placed the necessities on the bedside table. "Yes", he replied as you went to the dresser again. "Ok, just a moment. I'll quickly change too", you said.
You shrugged your blazer off and placed it onto the rack next to the dresser. You zipped your pencil skirt down and squirmed out of it, then undid the bow on your silk blouse and the buttons on the back of the neck before lifting it over your head and off your body, leaving you just in thigh high stay up stockings and your underwear.
You bent down to roll your stockings off. "I like the view, jagiya", you heard Minho chuckle, knowing he got an eyeful of your laced cunt and bare ass. "I know. That's why I bent down", you said, tone sultry even if things couldn't go further right now. Yet.
You stood back up and placed your stockings onto the dresser, then turned to face him as you took your bra off, dropping it on the floor with your skirt and blouse. Minho smirked. "You're so beautiful", he breathed.
You dropped your gaze and smiled, still somehow shy whenever he complimented you after three years of dating, even if your shyness was nonexistent otherwise around him. You turned around, giving him another view of your ass as you pulled on a soft, teddy-fabric cropped top and matching shorts, and a comfy robe over all of that.
Once dressed, you threw your clothes to the laundry hamper as well before moving to the bed again, directly straddling him, sitting on his lower stomach as you reached for the still warm, wet towel. Minho's hands found your hips as you pressed a quick kiss on his lips before softly and gently wiping his face with the towel.
His hands ran up and down your bare thighs under the robe as you cleaned his face from any traces of makeup with the makeup wipes, finishing again with the towel. "All done", you said once you were satisfied. You'd still wash his face in the shower later. "Thank you", Minho said.
"Drink up jagi, you're probably dehydrated. Did you drink anything other than coffee today again?", you asked. "You're the one to talk, jagiya. How many iced lattes did you have today? Six?", he countered, but cracked the water bottle open.
"Hey. I'll have you know I had two glasses of sparkling water during lunch. And you emptied the water bottle I got you for Christmas. Twice. I like the tracking app it connects to on my phone, it reminds me to drink. Also I had just four coffees today", you replied.
Minho smirked as he drank. He loved to tease you, and honestly? You loved to be teased by him. The day he'd stop teasing you would be the day you'd fear he'd start falling out of love. "I'll go make you dinner, ok? Anything you want", you said and got off of him, walking around the bed to click the mood lamp off.
"Can you make your dakjuk? It's so comforting and I'm suddenly craving it so badly", he asked once the darkness filled the room.
"Dakjuk? Ok. You will have to run to the store quickly for the chicken, but you'll get it going. It'll take a few hours though, are you ok to wait for that long?", you asked him, already making for the bedroom door, guided by the light shining from the hallway.
"Yeah. You will sleep the migraine off while waiting. Hopefully it'll be gone by the time you wake me up", he replied, smiling sleepily, the medicine already starting to take effect. "Love you", Minho mumbled as you closed the door and replied the same back to him. He really did work himself to the point of exhaustion again.
Oh love. You thought
You walked through the living room to the kitchen and quickly washed the rice so you could leave it to soak. Then you walked to the foyer, leaving the lights on in the kitchen and living room. You slipped your long rain jacket on, not caring you only had a shorts lounge set and a robe under it for the quick shopping trip. The mini market was just across the street.
You slipped your sneakers onto your feet and grabbed your keys to the outside door, phone, and a reusable shopping bag before exiting the apartment.
You turned towards the door to lock it with your palm and made your way downstairs to street level, across the street to the market in the pouring rain that had suddenly started. Good that you grabbed your rain jacket and not the trench coat.
After getting the chicken and a few items you knew you didn't have for the chocolate pudding you decided to make as well while waiting for the dakjuk to cook, you made your way back to the apartment. The rice still needed to soak, so you prepared the stock by boiling the chicken with some ginger, garlic and scallions until the chicken was cooked through.
While it cooked, you prepared the mushrooms, carrots, celery and onions, more garlic and the condiments. After the rice was done soaking, you drained it, quickly toasted it in some sesame oil before adding the strained chicken stock and leaving it to boil, stirring occasionally while you prepared the pudding in another pot.
Once the pudding was ready and set to cool in the fridge, you added the veggies into the juk, allowing it to boil more until those were tender. You shredded the boiled and now chilled chicken and added it in with the condiments. You fetched a few bowls and set the table.
Leaving the pot to simmer, you went to wake up Minho from his hopefully migraine-banishing nap. It was already late, but you knew he'd probably want to rest more, maybe cuddle after dinner. If you were lucky, maybe some sweet, slow action too. You were craving his touch like a starving woman for food.
"Minho?", you said softly as you opened the bedroom door, finding him already awake and laying on his side under the blanket, his socks discarded on the floor, your fur babies curled around him, purring away.
"Smells amazing, jagiya", he said, sitting up, making the cats all jump off the bed.
"You're awake already. Feel any better?", you asked, hopeful.
"Yeah. Still tired but I'm famished. The headache's just a dull pounding now compared to what it felt like earlier", he said.
"Oh that's good. Maybe the pounding will ease with the food", you offered and stayed in the doorway, waiting for him to get up.
"Hopefully. If it does, maybe we can consider some other type of pounding later", he winked at you as he closed the distance between you, making you scoff playfully. "Hey. I didn't get to hug you as you got home today. I'm sorry about that", he said, pulling you into his arms, against his chest.
"Minho, you had a migraine. That really isn't something you should apologize for", you replied, hugging him back, burying your face into his chest. He rested his jaw on your head for a few breaths before kissing your forehead.
"I know. I'm not apologizing for that. I'm apologizing for not being able to give you your hug. Shall we eat?", he asked, turning you around and leading you into the kitchen. You smiled at his words, loving the affection and physical touch. "Yeah, let's", you said, walking with him to the kitchen.
You served you both a piping hot bowl of the dakjuk, Minho garnishing them for you while you fetched some water.
"I had hoped we could watch some anime, maybe even with a glass of wine tonight, but my migraine threw those plans right out of the window", Minho said as he blew into his bowl, trying to make it cool down quicker.
"If you want we can still watch anime without the wine, jagi", you said, doing the same to your bowl. "Instead of wine we can have pudding. I made the chocolate version", you added.
"You made pudding too?", Minho asked, a spoonful of the food stopping in mid-air.
"Yeah. I figured I'd treat you to all the comfort today. You deserve it after working so hard, so hard indeed that you even exhausted yourself enough to develop a migraine", you replied. "I'm the luckiest man alive", he said, his eyes shining with pure love.
"I'm so fucking in love with you, woman", he added, then taking the first spoonful of the porridge. You waited for his reaction, which was always worth all the effort.
"Fuck me sideways. I'm in heaven. Your dakjuk never misses, jagiya. It's pure crack every time and I swear it was one of the reasons that made me say 'I'm gonna marry that woman one day' to Jisung the first time you cooked it for me on our second date to impress me", he groaned, the sound almost sexual.
You smiled. "And every time I see your reaction to any of my cooking is one more reason why I will say yes whenever you'll decide to pop the question, Minho. But on that first thing you said. I can, if you want."
Minho smirked, licking his lips before taking another spoonful. Rolling his head on his shoulders as he enjoyed the taste, he commented, "I'll keep that in mind for later." You continued to eat while talking comfortably about the day, asking each other how work was and if anything interesting happened.
Once you had emptied your bowls, Minho went for seconds, as he said they had a very light lunch and he realized he was starving when he woke up.
You decided to eat a bit of the pudding now too, saving the rest for later, so you got up and fetched it and two cups, serving you while Minho quickly devoured the second helping of the chicken porridge.
After half of the pudding was already gone from his cup, Minho yawned and stretched, very cat-like cutely as he usually does. You had finished your portion, so you cleared the table and put the dishes in the washer, knowing Minho normally would on occasions when you cooked, but he was recovering from his migraine and you really didn't mind doing all the work sometimes.
You loved taking care of him. Loved serving him. Loved to be the one he relied on, on days when he didn't feel his best. Even on days he did feel his best.
You put the rest of the pudding into the fridge and Minho appeared behind you, pulling you close into a back hug. He kissed your exposed neck as your hair was up in a high messy bun. "How are you feeling, jagi? Better?", you asked.
"Better. All thanks to you. Thank you for taking such good care of me, for doing everything tonight. My turn next time, I'll treat you. I am very tired now though, but if you're really up for it, could we still cuddle and watch some anime?", he replied.
"Ok. We should shower first though in case we fall asleep. Shower first, then anime and cuddles", you said, and started to walk towards the bedroom and the en-suite, his arms still wrapped around your waist as he walked behind you, peppering your neck with more kisses.
"Maybe a bit more than just a shower, hmm?", he murmured against your skin, making you shiver with expectation. "I thought you were very, very tired?", you teased, smiling. "I'm never too tired for something like that", Minho replied.
As you entered the bathroom, Minho released you from the hug, tugging on the belt of your robe to release it. You let the robe fall off your shoulders to the bathroom floor, then reached for the hem of his oversized shirt to pull it off of him. He lifted his arms above his head and let you undress him, just like a few hours earlier.
You were still being careful, but not as careful as before. You now allowed your hands to roam a bit. Over his shoulders, down and back up his arms, over his pecs, as he pulled you a bit closer from your waist.
Minho tugged the hem of your cropped soft top up, revealing your breasts to him, leaving the top still on you. Shivers ran down your spine and your front, pooling right into your core. He gave you a quick wink, then lowered his hands on your breasts and his mouth on one as an additional connection.
Not directly attacking the nipple, he massaged, kissed, trailed his tongue over the soft skin of it. Your nipples pebbled already without him even giving them attention, making him hum in content as he realized it.
"So responsive, jagiya", he murmured against your skin and then placed an open mouthed kiss on your right nipple, pressing his tongue flat over it. Doing the same to the other, you felt him smile as you said "Always have been for you. Your touch makes me insatiable."
Then you nudged his elbows, urging him to look at you, and after a final flick of his tongue on your other nipple, he looked up. You removed your top, and he took a step closer to you. His eyes darkened with desire and shining with love, and you felt his growing arousal tent the front of his pants on your lower stomach.
"Minho you know I always want you, anytime, anywhere, and this moment is no exception, but we don't have to do anything. Or if you want to, we can, but we should do it slow and gentle. You just had a bad migraine, and you're tired. I don't want to make you more so", you said to him, taking his hands in yours.
"I know. Gentleness is what I want right now. Slow. The comfort of your body. I feel whole with you, better with you", he replied, squeezing your hands and placing them on your shorts' waistband with your hands over his. He pulled at the soft fabric, sliding it easily over your ass, then kneeling down in front of you to take the shorts off.
You stepped out of them, and prepared to do the same for his pants, but he stayed down, kneeling in front of you. He looked up at you, a question behind his eyes. Still after all the times you had been intimate, he always made sure he had your consent for everything, even if no words had to be spoken for it.
You nodded, almost unnoticeably, but he knew from the way your body talked to him that the light was green.
Minho kissed your lower stomach, leaving a wet trail of kisses and licks from your belly button down to your nethers, breathing in your scent as he went. Then, he placed a soft, gentle kiss on your clit, making your knees buckle slightly. Before he gave it another kiss, you spread your stance just so, enough for him to be able to fit his face between your thighs.
Humming in approval, he dipped lower, licking you, wiggling his tongue between your folds to draw a whimpering moan out of you as his tongue and lips appeared on your clit again, making your head dip back on your shoulders.
"I won't make you come yet, kitten. You'll hold out for me, yes?", he asked, the vibrations of his voice over your clit sending electric shocks deep within you.
"Yes", you breathed out, knowing what he needed. Licking you again, he had your hands shooting down to his hair, grabbing the longer silvery blond locks between your fingers.
He brought two of his fingers to your entrance, testing, circling, before slowly, gently, pushing them into you, continuing to lick, tease, kiss you down there as he thrusted the digits in and out of you, just a few times, before pulling them all the way out, earning a slight protesting moan from you.
Minho kissed your inner thigh, then looking up at you brought the glistening fingers that just were inside you into his mouth, sucking them clean of your arousal, groaning and rolling his eyes back as he did. Then he got up, and before he had time to even ask or order you to do anything, you crashed your mouth on his.
The kiss was feverish but still gentle, his tongue sliding against your lower lip, asking for access. You opened for him, tasting yourself on his tongue and lips. As Minho parted your lips for air, you went to drop to your knees, pulling his loose pants down with you, his hard length bouncing out of them.
You placed a kiss on his scar on his abdomen, the mark on his skin something that still to this day sometimes made him uncomfortable, as he disliked having it there. Kissing down more, you grabbed his cock and gave it a few rubs up and down, getting him to inhale sharply due to the sensation.
When you looked up at him through your lashes and was about to take him into your mouth, he stopped you by placing a few of his fingers under your chin, tilting your head up. "As much as I'd want to be inside your mouth and have you swallow my first release, I'd like something else now, kitten. Is that ok?", he said softly, his eyes looking for any disappointment behind yours, which he wouldn't find.
"Of course, Minho. Whatever it is that you need right now, you will provide", you said, kissing his scar once more before taking his hand which he used to help you get up to standing again. "How did I ever get so lucky with you?", he murmured, looking into your eyes before placing a soft kiss on the corner of your mouth.
He embraced you into a hug, his cock pressing against your lower stomach again. "We tried it once before when I was having a hard time sleeping, remember? It was so comforting, knowing I was as close to you as physically possible, and it made me feel so... safe. Happy. I'd like to try that again. In the shower", Minho explained.
You smiled, remembering exactly how sweet it was when he asked if you could try it, in the middle of the night, waking you up for it. You fell asleep in each others' arms while you talked about everything and anything.
"Mhmm. I'll cockwarm for you. Where do you want it?", you asked. You hadn't exactly tried anything other than vaginal cockwarming yet, as it was going to be just the second time now, but you had looked into it the morning after you woke up the first time you tried it. Of course not before he had fucked you senseless as a way of thanking you for helping him beat his insomnia. But you knew anal and oral cockwarming were a thing too, so you offered the choice to him.
"Just inside you, please. The same way as before. But sitting this time. We have the shower bench for a reason", he replied, winking as he added the last part. Yes, you do. You had already ridden him on that handy wide and deep bench too many times to count. "Ok", you replied, stepping out of his embrace.
You took his hand in yours, and stepped into the shower cubicle with him. With your other hand you released your hair from the messy bun, pulling the scrunchie off.
The shower was huge, fit for any kind of activities you'd come up with together here, with three different shower heads. One normal handheld one, a wall waterfall spout and a large, ceiling mounted rain shower head that covered almost half of the cubicle, making it the usual choice for you when you showered together.
You turned on the rainfall one, stepping behind the spray and pulling Minho with you right as the water hit the floor. Waiting for the water to get warm enough for the both of you, he hugged your back to his chest, testing the water with his hand. His erect cock pressed against your lower back as you waited, his hands trailing down to your hips as his lips and teeth grazed your shoulder, leaving small nips in their wake.
When he was satisfied with the temperature, he walked you right under the water, making you both wet in seconds. His hands turned you around so he could kiss you, the water running over you as he did.
Once you were both soaked through, he turned you so that his back was facing one of the shower cubicle walls, the one where the bench and all your shower products were. Minho sat down onto the bench, grabbing your hand, guiding you to him.
The way he sat on the bench made sure his legs were on it from knees up, which in turn made it sure you would have enough space to sit on him, to have him in you, without fearing of falling down onto your back on the shower tile floor. His stance was slightly leaned back, making it possible for him to rest his head on the tiles comfortably.
Silently communicating, the only sound in the bathroom being the gush of the rainfall shower and your breathing, he pulled you to him. You placed one of your knees on the outside of his thigh and then watched as he grabbed his cock to position himself for you so that you could easily just sink down onto him.
You grabbed Minho's shoulders for support, and his other hand came to your waist, gripping on it a bit harder so he could keep a hold of your water slick skin. You started to sit, his cock prodding at your entrance. You knew you were wet enough for him to just slide in, deep, with ease, so without teasing yourself or him, like your bratty side sometimes wanted to do to test his limits.
You sat on him, his hand on the end of his shaft staying in place for a while, as he sighed in relief and content. Feeling him in you made you draw in a sharp breath, holding it in a few seconds before releasing it with a shudder.
"You feel like heaven, kitten. I think your pussy might just be my safe haven. I feel like I'm home whenever I'm inside you", he breathed out as his eyes fell closed, the back of his head still on the wall tiles.
The water was pouring down on you, but with the position of the bench, Minho's upper body wasn't getting sprayed, and the water only hit his legs, your backside up to your shoulders as you leaned forward a bit to kiss his jaw.
"I'm happy I can make you feel like that, that my body can be that for you. I'm yours to use anyway, jagi so knowing that just makes me all the happier. Now, shall I wash you?", you asked.
"Yes please", came Minho's tired, but blissed answer. Feeling his rock hard cock deep inside you, pushing against your cervix slightly as you began to gather the bottles was like heaven and hell at the same time.
Heaven, because you knew he needed this and you were able to provide it, and even after all these years he felt so deliciously big, stretching you from the inside. But also hell, because you couldn't move, couldn't cause friction, couldn't come, make him come.
I mean, you could, but then the idea of cockwarming would just wash away with the water. So you focused on heaven instead of hell, and began to wash him, his cock nestled securely and tightly inside you.
You went through the longer washing routine the best you could without moving, saying to Minho in between different products that you'd wash his back and legs and dick once you were done cockwarming. He hummed his response, clearly so relaxed and teetering on the edge of falling asleep, his hands caressing your thighs and ass.
You went through the steps of scalp exfoliator, deep cleansing shampoo, scalp treatment, hair mask, facial wash and scrub, soap and body wash that you had lathered onto an African bath sponge to be properly able to wash his back in this position. In between different products, you reached for the handheld showerhead to add to the rainfall one, and washed all the suds away with it.
Once you were finishing rinsing off the bodywash, he let out a slight groan. Minho opened his eyes, blinking three times, the almost black brown bobas looking right into your soul, the love shining through them almost palpable. The more you looked into his eyes, the more you always seemed to fall for him. You felt it now, more than ever.
He pushed a strand of your wet locks behind your ear, sitting up more straight to kiss you. "Thank you. Your turn now", he said before starting on the same pampering routine for you, starting with a lengthy scalp massage with the scalp exfoliator.
You swore you almost could see stars as he did that, your whole body relaxing even with his dick buried inside you, still hard as a rock.
He began to wash your front, going from breasts to your stomach, to lower in between you and then to your thighs, legs, and arms. When he started on your back, you leaned your forehead against his shoulder, relaxing completely.
As he grabbed the handheld showerhead again to rinse the bubbles and suds away, you turned your head to kiss his neck, just slightly, affectionately. Then he murmured softly for you to lean back, so he could get the soap from your front off.
You squirmed a little when the water hit your breasts, the movement giving you the tiniest amount of friction not only inside you, but also on your clit. It made you want to move even more, and you realized that just staying in place, his dick inside you, was much easier than these slight movements. Any small additional movement would make you want to beg him to fuck you sideways into next Tuesday.
"All done, kitten. You're all clean now", Minho said. You exhaled, slowly, licking and biting your lips after it. You looked at him, and he studied your face, knowing the look on your face meant something it wasn't directly letting on. But, Minho being Minho, he knew he'd get it out of you sooner than later, even using his trickery if needed.
He clenched his pelvic muscles, making his dick twitch inside you, the twitch doing wonders for your sensitive spots. "Jagi...", you sighed, your hands on his shoulders. He clenched the muscle again, this time earning a breathy moan. "Please", you added.
"Getting desperate for some kind of friction after cockwarming so well for me, are we?", Minho asked, a smirk dancing on his lips. You closed your eyes, a bit disappointed you couldn't manage to do this for longer for him. He needed the comfort, and you were more than happy to give it to him, but he stayed hard so long inside you, and now with the tiny twitches added...
"Does my kitten need some good pounding after giving me the best comfort?", he continued. "A thank you might be in order, I think", he added, clenching his muscles again, making you involuntarily rock your hips slightly on him.
"Should I tease you a bit more though?", he asked. The tone of his voice and the hand that moved from your hip to your clit confirmed for you that his migraine was fully gone now, the cockwarming in addition to the nap, medicine and dinner having made sure of it through completely relaxing him.
"If you so wish", you replied, inhaling sharply and letting out a whimper as his thumb pressed against your clit, feeling it swell under it. "But I can't guarantee anymore that you won't move because I really, really need to come around your cock, jagi", you added. "So needy", Minho teased, pressing a hasty kiss on your lips before looking down between you, still continuing to circle his thumb on your clit.
"You try having a cock in you and not moving and see if you'll get needy or not. Add a finger on your clit and see how well you can stay still", you retorted, your tone teasing through the desperation. Minho let out a small laugh.
"Point taken. Let me fuck you then. Or do you want to make love? Hard and rough or sweet and tender?", Minho asked, his tone softer as he kissed you, his hands now on your cheeks.
"Both?", you replied, more like a question than a statement.
"Both?", he repeated, one of his brow raised as a smile tugged at the corners of his lips.
"Yes. Can you move, jagi? Is it ok? You're feeling all the way better? You don't want this if you're not feeling ok yet", you asked, even though you knew the answer.
"Yes, feeling better than brand new. But no, you can't move", Minho replied with a smirk.
"Why not?", you asked right away, a slight disappointment creeping in before Minho suddenly got up, leaving himself inside you, his hands under your ass. "Because I will. Wrap your legs around me", he replied, and easily walked you a few steps forward, as if you weighed nothing, getting you both soaked again under the rainfall shower.
You did as you were told, wrapping not only your legs around Minho's hips, but also your arms around his neck. He positioned you so that your back hit the cold shower cubicle wall under the waterfall spout, which made you let out a squeal as his cock pushed even further into you.
"Ohh", you exhaled just before Minho's lips found yours. He bit your lower lip, just slightly. And as he connected his lips to yours again, your tongue searching his, he began to move.
He pulled himself almost all the way out of you, the tip of his cock staying in, before slowly thrusting back in, making you feel every glorious inch of him. Searching for a rhythm, he broke your kiss for a moment, looking you in the eyes through his dripping blonde locks. His eyes were full of fire, the desire and need to reward you burning deep inside his soul, as he slowly, sweetly, tenderly, ground his hips into yours.
His lips found the side of your neck, drawing out a long, deep exhale out of you. "Minho", you moaned, craning your neck more on the side to give him better access. "What do you need, kitten?", he groaned into your neck, as he licked his way up from your shoulder to your earlobe. "You. More. Harder", you moaned.
"Grab the spout", he said, referring to the waterfall spout above you. You lifted your arms and grabbed it from both sides, thankful for how strongly it was attached to the wall. Making sure you'd stay up, Minho moved his arms, one at a time, lifting your legs above them.
Once his arms were secured under your thighs and your behind to his hands, he thrusted into you, harder, once, testing the position. "Ok?", he asked, as your eyes rolled back. The new position made him feel impossibly big, his cock hitting your cervix again, making you see stars. "Yes", you breathed, and this time, he moved hard. He moved deep.
Minho started to snap his hips against you with the exact perfect force, not making it too rough, but definitely a bit harder than would have been needed to achieve hard fucking. Which, in turn, was exactly what you needed and wanted, what you had craved. He knew the difference between hard and fast better than anyone else, and his dancer stamina and muscles were making sure you felt it too.
"You're so tight, jagiya. Perfectly tight for me", Minho groaned as his gaze moved from watching your face for reactions, to between you. From the position he could see you joined perfectly, his hard length disappearing into you and reappearing, before pushing deep into you again with a force.
You held onto the spout as well as you could, but as you felt your first orgasm building up inside you, you started to think you might not be able to keep hold of it once you crashed over and down. Minho fastened his pace slightly, still keeping the force, making you whine as he kept hitting all the right spots over and over again, his body knowing how yours would react to his every move.
"I'm close", you breathed out. "Come for me, kitten", Minho said, lifting his eyes from where your bodies joined to yours. "I don't think I can hold onto this when I do", you said, already feeling the tidal wave surging back, gaining momentum to rush forward. "I got you. Let go", he said, and trusting him like you always do, you let your arms fall down to his shoulders, one at a time.
Then you leaned towards him, wrapping your arms around his wide shoulders, bringing your body closer to his, your breasts pushing against his chest as you nearly folded in half due to how he was holding your legs. Your legs opened more as he continued to move inside you, unwrapping from his waist and dropping to hang down from his arms.
He held onto you from under you, his hands on your ass, his fingers spreading towards your lower back, as he took one step back. Your back not pressing against the wall anymore, he was able to start fuck into you harder, faster, deeper. He moved you with his strong arms as he thrusted into you, wet skin slapping against yours as he chased your first high as if his sanity depended on it. You felt yourself tightening around him, the familiar pressure inside you building up.
"Minho, aahh", you mewled, as he pushed, pushed, pushed his cock deep into you, his lips on the side of your neck. "Let go", he said again, and the vibrations of his voice against your skin were your undoing. The tidal wave pulled you under, the bliss of it making you clench around him uncontrollably, your legs shaking in his arms.
The tidal wave pulled you under, the bliss of it making you clench around him uncontrollably, your legs shaking in his arms.
Minho continued to thrust into you throughout your release, murmuring sweet nothings into your ear, saying how good you were for him, how well you did comforting him the way he needed, how he felt ecstatic feeling you tremble around him.
As your tidal wave cleared, Minho slipped his cock out of you, making you wince due to the loss of contact. You felt empty, but shivered at the contact as his length rubbed against your still pulsating clit. "Legs down", Minho said, and carefully let one of your legs first drop down, before letting the other go as well.
He grabbed your waist to support you, knowing your legs would feel a bit shaky, the aftershocks of the orgasm still lingering.
"Turn around, jagiya. I'm not done with you yet", he murmured as he caught your lips in a kiss.
Continuing the kiss for a few moments longer, you grabbed his dick to give it a few rubs up and down, spreading your wetness and release all over him, before turning around as he asked you to.
Minho pressed his body against you, his chest finding your back, his cock erect on your lower back as his hands found your breasts. While he played with the peaks, he turned you a little, so that you were facing the glass shower wall. He took a few steps forward, pushing you almost against the glass. You leaned forward, making him drop his hands from your breasts.
You placed your hands on chest level on the glass that was fogged from the water temperature, and arched your back slightly to give him better access, knowing he'd want to take you from behind to reach his own high. An ass man through and through, he liked to watch as your ass bounced on him, no matter if it was him fucking you or you riding him.
"Put it back in", you pleaded, arching your back a bit more, keeping your legs together, knowing that's how he'd want it. Minho adjusted his position, clearly desperate to do just that, to get back inside you, and placed his legs in a slightly wider stance.
Grabbing his cock, he guided the tip to your entrance again, and as he pushed all the way in, he switched the hand to grab your waist as his other hand ran down your spine, from the base of your skull down to your lowest vertebra. The gesture made your knees buckle slightly as a shiver ran through your whole body like an electric shock. "Oh fuck", you moaned.
Without pause or hesitation, Minho began to move, thrusting in and out of you, gaining momentum and speed, grunting and moaning in his pleasure as he made you moan. As he found the rhythm he needed, one of his hands left your waist and grabbed your hand, twisting and bending it behind you so that your forearm rested on your arched lower back.
"The other one too", he grunted as he continued to grind his cock so deliciously fast and hard into you, and you obeyed. You turned your head, your right cheek landing softly onto the cool fogged glass with your breasts pushing against it. You reached back with your other hand.
Minho grabbed the wrists of both of your hands as he continued to fuck you into oblivion, knowing the restrained movement would make you so pliable under his touch. Moaning, your breaths heavy and short, you were quickly approaching your second release, and the way Minho's breathing matched yours, the groans, grunts and moans leaving his lips, confirmed to you he was nearing his, too.
Suddenly, he released your hands and took a tiny step closer, making you arch even more to him. You placed your hands against the glass wall again, pushing your breasts off it just slightly, but enough for his quick hands to grab them, he quickened the pace of his hips even more.
He grabbed your breasts firmly, pulling you to him, and then one of his hands dropped to your front, his skilled fingers finding your clit. You squirmed under his touch, your knees threatening to give out. "Minho.. Jagi.. I—", you moaned, your first orgasm making your clit still extra sensitive.
"I know, kitten. I'm right there with you", he murmured against your skin as his lips kissed your shoulders, the back of your neck, his fingers on your breast pinching your nipple, his fingers down below circling, putting just the right amount of pressure on you. Then, without a warning, the shreds of your sanity threatened to disintegrate as you completely, utterly, devastatingly shattered around him, screaming his name.
"Oh shit, fuck, jagiya", you heard Minho grunt and you knew it was because of the strength with which your walls were clenching around him, making it all impossibly tight for him. Your sight went black due to the force of the orgasm and your knees went weak as you felt Minho push into you twice more with less control. Then his hips bucked against your ass, and the warmth of his release filled you deep inside.
As you both came down from your highs, he gently slipped his cock out of you. Then, lifting you fully upright again, he turned you around to face him and pulled you into a deep, breathtaking kiss. He took a few steps back, so that you were again fully under the rainfall shower.
Then, he just held you, your head dropping to his shoulder, his arms around your waist hugging you tightly, your arms unable to move, caught inside the hug. You felt his cum start to drizzle down your thigh, mixed with your own release. "I love you so damn much, kitten", he murmured against your wet hair. "I love you too", you replied, kissing his shoulder.
Then, silently, he nudged your feet slightly apart and took a softer sponge this time, squirting some shower gel onto it and lathering it into bubbles. Kneeling down, he cleaned you and then allowed you to rinse yourself clean of the bubbles before offering the sponge to you, letting you wash him wherever you weren't able to while cockwarming.
You attended to his softening cock last, making sure to be gentle, before he then rinsed the bubbles off of him, and squeezed the sponge clean too. Turning off the shower, he stepped to the cubicle and grabbed one of the soft, plush towels rolled onto the towel warmer, and opened it for you.
You stepped out of the shower, shivering at the temperature change before he enveloped you into the warm towel. He then turned around to grab his towel, quickly drying himself off before grabbing your towel again, thoroughly drying you too.
You grabbed a hair towel as he was drying your back, and twisted your hair into it. Once your skin was dry, you had Minho sit on the toilet as you towel dried his hair, leaving it slightly damp to air dry.
Minho stood up, and pulled your bathrobe from its hook and offered it to you, sliding it on you as you turned around. He then put on his own, before pulling you into a soft kiss. The air in the bathroom was heavy, thick with steam and sex, and the smell of coconut and lime from the shower gel.
"Now, how about that anime? I could use those cuddles still. And more pudding."