Ā Ā Ā you on lifetime/netflix sentence meme.
Ā Ā Ā episode 1 - 3.
well, hello there. who are you?
you like a little attention.
thatās sad ā people buying books because of whatās popular, not because they want to be moved or changed in some way.
at the end of the day, people really are disappointing, arenāt they?
are you not wearing a bra? and you want me to noticeā¦
if this was a movie, iād grab you and weād go at it right in the stacks.
my parents were assholes with the whole naming thing.
i was in love once. s/he broke my heart. s/he really did a number on me.
you are burning through that book, arenāt you?
all for one and one for all.
love is tricky. a guy/girl needs to protect him/herself.
you want to be seen. heard. known. of course, i obliged.
candidly, itās the least appealing thing about you.
your online life isnāt real. itās a collage.
jesus, itās like youāve never seen a horror movie. or the news.
you want people to watch, donāt you?
why donāt we spend the day together tomorrow, just you and me?
can we get real for a second? you have questionable taste in friends.
he didnāt even get her something that nice, and she finally let him do anal.
open my gift next and tell me how much you hate me then.
you always do this. you make a big gesture that you canāt afford because ā iām sorry ā youāre too nice.
why donāt you let me loan you some cash, okay?
you know iād do anything for you. donāt forget that.
uh, who the fuck is this?!
thatās your apology? āi didnāt cumā?
she said she had good coke and iāve been seriously stressed.
i donāt have time to keep hooking up or whatever it is youāre even capable of.
i donāt wanna be just some guy/girl that you sleep with.
not to sound judgy, but this guy/girl is everything wrong with america.
you fall for the wrong wo/men. you let them in. you let them hurt you.
if he came anywhere close to making you cum, youād have made a broadway show out of it. but you didnāt. ācause he didnāt.
looks good on you, by the way. the extra weight.
vegan cheese tastes like asshole.
somethingās in the air tonight, ācause everyone but me is getting action.
if the zombies come, this is where iām hiding.
the most valuable things in life are usually the most helpless. so they need people like us to protect them.
this whole nice-guy act⦠this might work on other people, but i can see what you are.
so stay away from them, because if you donāt, iām gonna grab a steak knife and iām gonna cut those freak eyes out.
there are scary people in the world. thatās why itās important to be safe.
i can still smell you on my fingers.
iāve seen enough romantic comedies to know guys/girls like me are always getting in jams like this.
whatever it is, thereās nothing we canāt fix.
all my life lately has been about surviving.
some guys are assholes, and you just have to realise that.
you were the one who told me to keep reminding you s/heās a bastard.
what if some sicko had followed you down here?
youāre too drunk to be alone.
iām not always like this.
i donāt wanna sound like a stalker, but i think i know you.
i have a pretty bland face.
all books add up to one essential truth which is, if your IQ is above a certain number, life is pretty much unbearable. and the number is not even that high.
i do think iād be happier if i was stupider.
thank you for sobering me up. and for saving my life.
i told you, people are basically good.
what you really need is someone to save you.
the first step to fixing something is to know that no matter how destroyed it seems, it can always be saved.
iām not always right. iām human. i make mistakes. youāll see.
we all have baggage. but i feel like iām dealing with it the right way.
i kind of thought i took care of that for you.
i just knew s/he was the worst kind of poison. the kind you know is bad but canāt stop taking.
i donāt know who you are, i donāt know why iām here.
whoever you are, youāre not a killer.
sometimes you do things on instinct because you have to, and then you scramble. you know?
i totally didnāt google you, but if i did, i might discover you arenāt on social media.
iām an old fashioned guy/girl. i like real life.
i know itās not cool to say and itās not big and flashy, but i love ___, and i want my life to be about what i actually love.
you somehow think this guy/girl is all you deserve.
s/heās branded the living shit out of her/himself across the internet.
a lot of people find a direct wo/man irresistible.
donāt touch me. itās not sexy, itās repulsive.
something has to be done about someone like him/her.
iām starting to think iām some kind of magnet for, like, dudes/girls with serious issues.
hey, do you wanna come to a party with me tomorrow?
just take the cheque and stop stressing.
if you want to kill me, what the fuck are you waiting for?
why would i want to kill him? who wants to kill people?
youāve probably read more of these books than i have.
i donāt think i have a lot in common with your other friends.
it just feels like iām getting sucked in and i could just be me, yet that somehow never feels quite good enough.
sometimes, to survive you have to show some teeth.
some people used to yell at me, too, you know. and i donāt want to be like them.
you are not responsible for my feelings, i am. but for the record, i feel like congealed, day-old egg rolls right about now.
itās a whole 'call you daddy, spank meā thing.
they were too scared to come forward, but we realised itās harder to dismiss seven women with the same story.
blackmail is not something you live down.
should i have tried to kiss you sooner?
iād go as far as to say you create the problem when you assume this stuff.
youāre worth waiting for.
how exactly does one get rid of a body? i canāt just google this kind of thing without creating a pretty damning evidence trail.
fun fact: spatchcocking a chicken and dismembering a human involve the same six essential steps.
these are officially the darkest days in the history of the world.
i wonder if s/heās a virgin.
s/he sounds like a pretentious bitch if you ask me.
why do men think disembodied members equal foreplay? you know, theyāre not aesthetically pleasing.
more power to them, but your friends kinda treat sex like it means nothing.
i hooked up with some guy last night.
if you wanna bone him/her out of your system, more power to you. i just wanna make sure youāre respecting yourself.
if i wanna win your heart, iām gonna have to show you that iām not a 'maybeā. iām the one.
do you think iām unremarkable?
unremarkable people donāt worry about being unremarkable.
you want down and dirty, you got it.
iāll deal with it when i get back.
you thought that i wanted to get arrested while youāre going all bush diver on me in public?!
you donāt wanna be spanked. you wanna feel safe. loved.
iām having a really bad flare-up.
i think i need you to take me to the emergency room.
thereās like a sort of putrid aroma that keeps wafting in the backseat.
i was hoping i could make the world a better place.
s/heās a sicko. i feel it in my gut.
people believe whatever supports their world view.
you need someone to take care of you.
i donāt mean to be harsh, but you know youāre sending some mixed messages, right?
thatās one hell of a bonfire.
if thatās the case, i should warn you, i have this facial thing where i canāt hide what iām thinking.
i donāt know who i am. how am i supposed to know what i want?
if i didnāt know better, iād think you were hiding something.
iāve never seen your place, and you never talk about any of your friends. i mean, who are you?
thatās it. i am officially out of the tinder business.
thereās something wrong with you. i see it in your eyes.