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@highschooljock

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i’d kill for a steady income tbh
so turns out this is called being an assassin. finally, a career for me

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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My favourite part of Penguins of Madagascar was definitely Dave putting actors and actresses names in normal sentences.
Everyone needs an adorable Gordon Ramsay on their dash
I love this man.
Bob the golden retriever is best friends with eight birds and a hamster. (photos via @bob_goldenretriever/imgur)
YES
Watch: Ellen DeGeneres takes Caitlyn Jenner to task for her hypocritical comments on gay marriage
Yikes. :(

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wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs
also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything
what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??
Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.
Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.
Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show
Y'all suspect af😂
*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*
Make sure you set up a solid alibi Pay for everything in cash
Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police
OMG HES WAITING FOR A REPLY

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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By Karen Zack (@teenybiscuit)
I love this meme so much. It’s just missing my favorite
OH MY GOD