Hide the Teaspoons

Lucky people! Some new photos of Eddie with fans in Budapest!

📸 Credit:

Alexandra Pozsár

Gundel Cafe Patisserie Restaurant

@biacsksaaa

Howard Maxwell

Anna Bacsó

Bálint Magyar

Ruta Brazauskaite Traksele

@renatataylorf1

cramcreammott

I wrote something. I am surprised as the rest of you…

After the election and all of the chaos that came with it, Queenie gets a little pep talk from none other than Newt Scamander.

/OS/

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49095490

Salamanders 🥰

So I've had it with people who rage against those who point out many autistic people cannot live fully independent lives and are in a very vulnerable position, because I know for a fact that many autistic people are no more independent than a baby. Hear me out.

The first people I ever met with autism were such normal people I was surprised to discover they had autism. One was a friend of mine whose only stereotypically autistic characteristic was his nerdiness and social difficulties, but otherwise he was just like anyone else. Then there was a friend's boyfriend, a man in his 20s with aspergers. And he was a bit more peculiar, but he led a fairly normal life: drove his own car, finished his studies, had a job, and nailed one hell of a girlfriend. And so I acquired the false idea that everyone who had autism were barely different from those who didn't.

And then flash forward a few years. I was hired at a school that only had autistic kids. 0bviously from my friends I thought it wouldn't be a big deal, but it was.

The school had students aged 3-18 and I began my training with 3-5 before working at a 13-15 class (students weren't divided by age but rather, by independence level and skills) covering for another teacher who was out on maternity leave and then, finally, I was properly assigned to a class of students 6-9, so I got to experience a broad range of ages and varieties of autism.

There were a few -very few- kids who fitted my preconceived ideas of autism. They were fully independent, talkative, skilled... they became obsessed with things and could be big nerds, but nothing difficult to deal with. The majority were the total opposite. Kids who if they weren't autistic would be talking, running around, learning Math or Sciences, playing football... but because they had a very severe form of autism, none of that was an option. These kids, and I saw them in all ages between 4 up to 16, couldn't do alone:

Going to the loo (they used nappies and adult assistance).

Preparing some food for themselves, at least a sandwich, without help.

Talk. At all.

Communicate it when they felt unwell.

Play alone.

Play sports (they'd just stand around).

Be trusted to be alone.

Go shopping.

Be left alone with smaller children (due to them communicating feelings in an occasionally aggressive way).

Perform a professional activity.

Read.

Aggressiveness was also a common issue with these children. They're not bad people, but because they can't tell you how they feel, they might just show you. More experienced teachers saw the signs to move away on time, but I was both bitten and punched within my first month on the job. And the later happened by total accident, just because the kid excitedly moving an arm without realising I was nearby.

These kids could also sometimes behave in ways that outside the safe environment of our classroom, would get them in trouble and even arrested. They'd sometimes masturbate, they'd spit, lick things, pull the hair of others, shout, throw themselves on the floor and refuse to move (record was in 9h straight), they might touch others inappropriately, might get very aggressive, and would on occasion pee themselves just for attention (as opposed to those who did it because they weren't able to tell us they needed the loo and yes, we could tell). It sounds like 4 year olds, but the majority of kids I saw do these things were 8, 12 or 14.

Working with these kids also constitute some of the happiest memories of my life. As challenging as they were, it was incredibly satisfying to be able to teach them to cook, to socialise, to healthily communicate emotions, to dance, to fix something broken, to play, to do the grocery shopping and to go to the loo or take care of their period on their own. But we couldn't get so far with everyone. The sad reality is that without more funding and teachers, we could only really help 10% of each classroom. The rest will always need a caretaker. And the saddest part is that many of these kids came from very poor families, or families that were suffering and their suffering affected the kids. One of my students suffered domestic violence, so part of our job was to check for wounds and bruises and be on the look out to call the police if necessary. Another's parents divorced, and this kid was so affected by it they'd drop on the floor out in the street every day on arrival and stay there accompanied by one of us all day, day after day, for two weeks.

I'm not telling you all this to horrify you or scare you away from parenthood or autistic people. I am saying it because there's a huge campaign going on to make it look like autism is always not a big deal, because autistics can always live a perfectly normal life. And I want to make you aware that there are huge amounts of cases where this isn't true. Thousands of autistic people that cannot be trusted to be left online, or with their sexual health, or to care for themselves or others, to have a job, to fend for themselves, to survive without a carer constantly there.

The reason it is so incredibly important to raise the awareness about these other autistic people, is because the misconceptions around them mean that them and their families are frequently ignored in education plans and politics. They don't get the enormous economical help they need, the parents go without psychological support, and we don't have nearly enough schools specialised in autistic kids and fully equipped to help them. Also because people aren't aware that autism can look like this just like it can look like someone with an exceptional IQ, they fear them more. Ignorance means they don't know what to do or how to behave when they meet a child or adult with severe autism. And so they push them away and leave them all alone.

If people had better awareness of severe autism, they wouldn't be afraid of it. They'd know it's manageable and there are techniques to deal with their challenges, and their families don't need you shouting at them in the park, but rather, your infinite understanding, comprehension, empathy. Schools would be better equipped thinking of these kids, bosses trained to maybe have employees severely autistic. And authorities such as police wouldn't cry insanity and madness the second someone behaves odd, but recognise signs of autism and know how to deescalate the situation. I mean imagine being a black man with severe autism in the US, nonverbal, masturbating in the park. The way things are right now, with the massive lack of awareness and racism, chances are you'd be shot dead by the police.

Comparing any of us to babies, talking about us like we’re a chore, like it’s a hardship to deal with us… the first child I ever worked with was as you describe as “severely autistic” (which implies he is somehow more autistic than, say, someone who is able to access mainstream learning and basic self care needs), but the way you phrased most of this post is extremely disgusting.

Not to mention your tags:

As for talking about you like you’re a chore and it’s a hardship to deal with you... I’m sorry but firstly, don’t include yourself. You are autistic, fine, but you are not facing the challenges these kids are. You’re here in Tumblr, reading, writing... my students cannot even write their names, cannot talk, and need me to understand their needs without them voicing them out. You’re not in the same group. You don’t face the same challenges. The term “severe autism” or people “severely autistic” is used by school organisations, the NHS, verywellhealth, autism experts and autism organisations. We work with them at our school, precisely. And yes, it is used to describe levels of autism because there are levels of more serious symptoms than others, as this post clearly shows, effectively demonstrating you don’t have such a serious level. Autism is actually classified in Level 1, Level 2, and Level 3, that to be precise, specify the degree of autism within what we consider an expectrum, also called ASL (Autism Spectrum Levels). These levels are incredibly important, because they help us know immediately what kind of challenges and difficulties each kid has. For example in my classroom we pair Level 3 children with more than one TA, whereas Level 1 children don’t need that much one to one constant attention and have one TA, plus they’re allowed to go out into the playground and run wild and free without a TA right behind them (although obviously there are adults there). These levels are helpful to describe to their parents what their child’s needs are, to tailor the education for each kid (Level 3 children, for example, have TAs that know when they go to the loo they have to try and help the kid become more and more independent, learning to wipe themselves, to flush, or to change clothes, whereas Level 1 go unaccompanied). They’re also helpful when new teachers come around and don’t know the child. I’ve seen occasions in which a Level 3 student was facing hardship for whatever the reason (in this case, something had triggered him and made him run off and was hitting himself) and a new teacher was going to go to help without knowing the kid, so we could quickly tell them the student was Level 3 and that way the teacher knew, straight away, to be more gentle, cautious, and why things were happening the way they were. But calling the children Level 1, 2 or 3 on a day-to-day basis is not really ideal in the day to day of the schools, which is very fast-paced. So even though on paper we know the exact level of them, on a regular basis we refer (as advised by health institutions) to them as mild, moderate and severe. This is a standard and widespread classification, essential to tailor their education and care to their very exact needs.

Now about the term awareness, I don’t know where the hell you got it as a bad thing, but it is the only valid term here. Awareness is per de dictionary described as the knowledge or perception of a situation or a fact. It’s not inherently negative the way you’ve put it. You’re aware of the weather to dress accordingly, you’re aware of someone’s feelings, you’re aware that your clothes need ironing, you’re aware that your phone is ringing. There is nothing negative about the term. And the reason we speak about awareness is precisely because of responses like yours. Because a lot of people come into contact with Level 3 autism (since you don’t like the term severe) and don’t know how to react because they aren’t AWARE:

- Aware of the challenges (I.E., watch them while they eat so they don’t choke because that’s also something they’re prone to).

- Aware of their needs (so don’t make loud sounds right next to them or allow a barking dog close to them, because it’ll upset them).

- Aware of the symptoms (for example so you can tell when your Level 3 child is feeling very unwell, even if they can’t tell you).

Awareness is a widespread term used in the sentence “raise awareness”. People raise awareness about mental health, about illnesses, about conditions, about global warming, about thousands of topics that are important to know about and of which generally people don’t know enough. Just like severe forms of autism. So we work on raising awareness because thanks to that, so far, here in London;

- We’ve achieved the opening of schools exclusively for autistic children, that receive public and private funding lots of which wouldn’t come if donors weren’t aware of how important their money is to give the kids everything to help with their development.

- We have buses with quiet areas for people with autism, like little stalls where there’s no noise.

- Most teachers, even in non-autistic-exclusive schools, learn SSE and Makaton, both essential to communicate with Level 3 autistic people.

- We are provided with public, safe spaces where our children can go and do a ton of fun activities that help their development without the interference of any non-autistic child.

I understand and respect that those of you who have maybe Level 1 of Autism or even 2 in some cases, and have the independence and ability to for example get involved in social media don’t feel good with the words “autism awareness” I understand why and if I were you, maybe I’d even feel the same. But my entire post wasn’t talking about you. It wasn’t even talking about the Autism Spectrum. It was talking about a very specific level of autism (mostly 3) of which people are hardly aware of or know anything of, and it was using the same terms NHS professionals working to train me and other teachers use. And the reason we speak of autism awareness when it comes to Level 3 children is precisely because there’s zero widespread awareness and knowledge about them. Autism acceptance doesn’t work with them (although if you can think of another, I’m happy to get suggestions) because you don’t just accept the autism symptoms of Level 3. You have to fight them. If you accept them it implies you’re in no rush to change them, and if you don’t do anything about them, you’ll end up having a 16 year old who isn’t independent, who won’t be a functional adult, who will be in trouble if you die and they’re left alone, who won’t know how to cook, iron, do crafts, work, shower himself...

We work on acceptance when it comes to forms of Autism that don’t impact a person to the point that they can never be independent, fully-functional adults integrated in society. But when the Autism reaches levels in which these kids’ lives will be in danger if we don’t help them, we talk about awareness and improvement.

That’s why our schools don’t have Math, Sciences, Literature, French... the schools Level 3 autistics go to instead teach them to be more and more independent, self-reliant, confident, capable, skilled and happy. We track their improvement throughout the years and I’m happy to say in some cases they descend from Level 3 to 2 and sometimes, even 1. We follow their development from the age of 3 or 4 until they’re 18, so they’ve got years and years with us getting to know them one by one, to see what their specific needs are, and to help them get through every challenge. And yes it’s always climbing mountains, but with the right attention, many of them do incredible things. I’ve been told of cases (because I didn’t personally get to follow a kid’s life 10+ years but my colleagues did) of kids that didn’t even speak until they were 9, maybe they didn’t go to the loo alone until they were 11, and didn’t know how to make themselves a sandwich until they were 14, but that by the time they graduated at 18 had learned all of that and so their parents knew their kid now had a real chance at living a full, happy life, even the day the parents are no longer alive to support him.

And yes, children with severe autism can feel like a chore, like some burden, but that’s why there isn’t a single teacher there who doesn’t want to be there. Why we get personally involved, reaching out to the parents who often are crumbling (like in the case of domestic violence I was talking about earlier, there was a mother and a small girl involved as victims as well) because they don’t have enough support, because no one around them is aware of their struggles and empathetic enough, and they need money, or have language issues (many don’t speak any English), or difficulty finding housing or employment. We don’t just support the kid, we support their whole family. We bring them over and give them courses to teach them what to do if they child becomes aggressive, if they seem ill but they don’t know why, if they become bigger and stronger than the parents and the parents can no longer physically contain them from jumping onto the road in a moment of excitement, or doing anything else potentially life-threatening, and with every other challenge they ever have.

We also make sure to call their difficulties, challenges. It’s all just a challenge. It implies it’s not impossible to get through, that you just have to work really hard and try your best and have all the support you can. And so these students get through them. For us teachers, it never feels like a chore or a burden. Helping them is our frigging job. We wouldn’t do it if we didn’t love it. And personally, every time you see a child of these suddenly smile big at you or hold your face up close, it makes my day. It makes all the worries and stress vanish instantly. It makes everything worth the effort. But we are aware that they can feel like a chore or a burden to their families, that sometimes it’s too much.

We understand that every parent has moments when it all feels too much. Overwhelming. Scary. Like you’ll never get through it. It happens with all sorts of kids, like very ill kids in hospital or very little, crying babies. And the only way to help make sure these kids and teens don’t feel like that to their families is making sure their families are properly supported. With the right support, help... they realise it’s not a burden. They realise it’s just a bit of a challenge, one they can get through, with help. We empower the kids, we empower their families, we help them feel capable of everything and anything. We make sure that the challenges they face are tackled and become smaller and smaller, so that when parents are less stressed and anxious, the love comes easier. And I haven’t known a parent who didn’t love their kid, Level 3 autism and all. Us teachers have also been known to become a bit more attached than we should. So I guarantee you, their challenges... they’re just part of the package, and there’s hardship in the package but one we accept with smiles on our faces because we know that with a lot of work, every kid improves, every kid does better, and every kid gets a better, happier life. And hardship is part of life. The only difference is that with these kids, it’s more important to tackle that hardship head on, bravely, and early on, because the parents’ main concern always is that one day they won’t be around to help their children and they still won’t be independent enough to take care of themselves alone, and will go into the system and then they’ll never get the help they so urgently need.

Just love him 💙

FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM: THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE (2022)