⚞•⚟

Serious matters

and the lack of wanting to actually sit with a piece of art you are making and being uncomfortable with it, mad at it, doubtful of it, mess around with style and syntax and plot and narration and dialogue, make an absolute mess of it, back off from it, come back to it, seek out answers from friends or other writers or other art or the world in general creates a landscape of reliance on generative AI to hurtle everyone over the difficult aspects of making art right into the end product so it can be waved around for validation and accolades. there's no desire for the act of discovery in the process of making, the spontaneous aligning of thoughts, the moment when something becomes concise and clear in your mind, when it all falls into place. the arduous relief of doing away with something that isn't benefiting the art anymore. the electrifying sense of pride when it just fucking finally works and the words flow and you get into the state of pure, uninhibited creativity. and i don't know how to solve that because there was always people who loved the idea of being a writer but didn't want to actually write and now they have a tailor-made "tool" that allows them to do this and then they get to turn around and think, "well that wasn't that hard". and that is infuriating.

wakes up, posts fem jax, goes back to sleep.

"Close the door and open up to me." | Kaufmo, get away from that door lil bro...

Day 24