Rom-Dom Illustrated

HGH stands for "Her Gaming Hours". My main Tumblr blog focuses on a variety of Virtual Photography shares with a side of occasional random gaming/entertainment media commentary. This blog was born to try & stay focused on the mini-stories behind my photoshoots.

You see, I almost never capture photos in games without having a story in my mind that inspired or gave meaning to it. Problem is, I never tell those stories. I want to change that. Even if it's raw and disjointed, I want to be able to tell you in more than one phrase or quote what led me to what you're seeing.

Who knows how much I'll be able to transcribe, there's no doubt my mind has already forgotten more stories than I'll ever pen. So please don't hold me to a high standard.

I'm not a writer - this is just a hobby - and I hope that my mix of slice of life & smutty photography brings joy to others, as it does me.

Currently working on: Goro Takemura x V

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Reminder: do not engage if you're under 18. NSFW. Explicit VP. M/F nudity. Oral sex. Consensual.

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Entry 06

… t̲̂̓ͩ̑r̴̨̦͕̝ā̤̓̍͘ṇ̤͛̒̍s̠҉͍͊ͅc͕͗ͤ̕̕r̴̨̦͕̝ỉ͔͖̜͌b̬͖̏́͢ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍ĝ̽̓̀͑ …

Come morning, I woke up to an empty bed. Not unexpected but it still stung a bit. I did some stretches, massaged my cold sore muscles while re-rolling images from last night in my head. It's because I was so distracted that it took me a while to find the note he left.

Good morning, V. I'll send you a pin with my location when I arrive to the recon spot. Meet me there.

P.S.: eat some real food or your stomach will give us away.

Where did he even find a pen? Looking around, I felt a measure of shame. The place was shabby... messy... and those trash bags. Why are they ALWAYS there?

"I don't know if I should clean or just move out", I said out loud as I was getting dressed. I'd catch a bite on my way to meet him in Arroyo, Santo Domingo, according to his text.

---

We greeted each other near a closed construction site where we snuck in to set up a lookout spot for our recon.

"Ah, this brings back childhood memories!"

"Why am I not surprised you were a troublesome kid?"

I turned to give him a mocking smile and noticed he was openly smiling himself.

"Ha, why do I get the feeling it's not only me who's getting a flashback to childhood shenanigans?"

He remained silent but kept the smile. So fucking cute.

We started our recon, analyzing entry and exit points, security routines, devices and comms. We discussed several options to get around their contingencies, until I decided I'd climb up one of the side fences and rely on my optical camo and camera blindspots to navigate the courtyard and warehouse.

Goro would be in charge of securing my exit. He wouldn't go into detail regarding what distraction he had in mind. Again, it felt like putting my life in his hands blindly and trusting he wouldn't hang me out to dry.

Like his usual self, he tried to cut the meeting short, seemingly satisfied with our laid-back infiltration plans - not to say straight up lazy. I convinced him to stay and observe the movements around the Industrial Plant for an extended period as it would improve our chances of success.

I unpacked some food that I'd bought along the way. He didn't even try to hide his expression of disgust. Good, he's even more adorable when he makes that face.

"I knew you wouldn't touch it, but you told me to eat. So, how about this? I'll eat and you make conversation".

I was just teasing him but he obliged. Not that his topic of choice was good for digestion. To hear him share so openly how he sees me - as someone with nothing to lose but who's also lived a life without a moral compass - was both unsettling and refreshing.

"Our principles aren't the same, yet calling me immoral is taking it a step too far", I said partially disagreeing. "I can't deny I have nothing to lose but my life".

As we were talking, a surprise visitor showed up. A cat.

"That's the first living thing I've seen in this city, besides roaches", he said, looking at it intensely. "Do you know what a bakeneko is, V?", he asked and I welcomed the change of subject.

Maybe the cat was really a spirit of some sort, since the miracle of Goro opening up to me with tidbits about his past was unfolding right before my eyes. I couldn't believe my ears. This precious man was showing me, and only me, a vulnerable side of himself I didn't dream of ever seeing. I wanna squeeze tightly. And never let go.

"I understand why Saburo is... was such an important figure in your life. I... actually, I think I understand you a lot more now, Goro. No judgements. You met me as I am now, but I used to be a corpo product as well".

"That night, you lost him. And I lost my best friend. There's no need to poke at our scabs and make them bleed again. Part of me is helping you because of Jackie, too".

"Speaking of your friend, I have to tell you something".

"What?" My heart shrunk in my chest as my eyes widened. "You're not going to say he's still alive somewhere? Are you?"

"Arasaka has your friend trapped in an engram, made with the Soulkiller program... like the one you carry".

I felt something cold run down my spine. I scolded him for not telling me earlier and I fought hard to repress the tears.

"I didn't want you distracted. I don't know where your friend's engram is and I didn't trust you enough to tell you anything. I wanted you focused only on my plans. On me". The last two words, so faint I almost thought I misheard.

My mind was a mess. I wanted to bolt outta there but my body had gone limp. I could hear JS clawing his way to my cortex. My panic must've been noticeable because when I came to Goro had me in a tight embrace, trying to sync his breathing with mine. I hugged him back.

"I'm ok. I'm ok" I kept repeating feverishly.

"Are you, really?" he asked, lifting my chin and seeing me biting my lower lip hard.

"Stop. You'll break skin".

His eyes drifted towards my neck and he cocked an eyebrow.

"Mmm... I'm surprised you disobeyed me so quickly after I took such good care of you last night. Surprised and frankly offended".

"Huh?" I couldn't understand what made him bring up last night right then.

Running his index on my neck line he said: "You're not wearing your collar. Did you take off the garters too?"

"... n-no"

"Did you truly forget or did you not take me seriously when I said you weren't allowed to take them off without my express permission?"

"I forgot! I changed so fast so I could come meet you and not make you wait..."

My voice trailed off as his hand closed on my neck.

"Since you seem intent in harming your own lips, and I deserve reparations for your disobedience... how about I teach you what happens to insolent, ungrateful brats like you?"

"Here? In front of the cat?"

He let out a low chuckle that devolved into a groan as he sat down on a pile of cement bags and pointed to the coarse concrete ground in between his parted legs.

"This is still a stakeout, Goro, don't get too carried away" I pointed out, with my best professional merc face.

"You are saying unnecessary things again, V", he whispered in my ear.

"Since when have you been like this...? Nevermind". Just feeling his erection over his trousers was enough to rile me up something fierce.

[proof of explicit oral fun attached]

By the time we were done, it was pouring. He kept talking about the diversion maneuver but my brain was mush at that point. What snapped me out of it was his attempt to, once again, cut tail and vanish.

"Hey, I was thinking, if coming to my apartment is a hassle, should I get a place in Japantown? There's this small apartment for sale I've had my eye on... you could visit more often. Or even stay there for as long as you need..."

"You... you always say the most unexpected things. I am still trying to understand how you developed such an "interest" in me and now you're asking me to move in?"

"Well, we don't HAVE to live together. I'll still have the place in Atrium. Do you hate the idea so much?"

He seemed deep in thought as we walked to the elevator. I kept quiet.

Suddenly, he took me in his arms again and kissed me. His tongue felt hot, his lips softer that I could've imagined. I was so surprised I couldn't return his gesture. This is our first kiss. Like normal people. We kissed with passion and urgency, like we had both been so starved of this particular type of affection. Yet, there was something else in the mix.

As we reached the ground floor, he let go without a word and stalked off ahead of me. My body wouldn't chase after him. It felt like an invisible barrier would crush me if I tried to get near.

"We'll meet tomorrow night for the infiltration. Come ready".

"Hey, are you serious? Are you leaving, just like that?"

"..."

"I can scan you too y'know, why do you have to be so difficult?!"

"Do you think I don't know that you want me just as much? That even when you pretend to be laser focused on your goal, your eyes still wander. Your pulse still quickens. Your hands move to me before you can stop them."

"I'm not that inexperienced that I would miss all these signs. So, why don't you just stop this pointless act?"

I knew his refusal to kiss was his own way of rejecting me, of drawing the line. We are just using each other, in biz and in bed. And that line shattered into a million pieces today.

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Reminder: do not engage if you're under 18. NSFW. Explicit VP. M/F nudity. Consensual. Rough.

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Entry 05

… t̲̂̓ͩ̑r̴̨̦͕̝ā̤̓̍͘ṇ̤͛̒̍s̠҉͍͊ͅc͕͗ͤ̕̕r̴̨̦͕̝ỉ͔͖̜͌b̬͖̏́͢ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍ĝ̽̓̀͑ …

Over the next couple of days, we exchanged a few texts while avoiding the subject of that night in the van. I had plenty reminders still on me so I hoped it hadn't been too forgettable for him.

Secretly happy that the Okada crush was only a figment of my imagination, I didn't mind much that he preferred staying in Japantown. Goro had shown unequivocal dislike for Night City in general and Kabuki in particular.

I should get a small apartment in the area. He's broke, probably. Worrying about his living arrangements seemed like overstepping. Not like I could afford a place up to his standards with my current budget, I thought letting out a self-deprecating chuckle. Still, I'd feel better knowing he's staying in a safe place.

Kicking my feet up as I indulged in the delusion that we could have a lil' lovers nest, I picked up the phone at the same time a text from him popped up, asking to meet again.

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It was early evening when I arrived at the agreed meeting point, and spotted him chatting up a lady cop. Massaging away the beginning of a frown, I thought: I shouldn't feel any particular way about something this trivial. I'm not the type! He's not the type!

But you thought he wouldn't be the type to fuck you raw in the back of a van either, didn't you?

Ugh, dammit. Forgot to take the suppressants. Dry-swallowing one, I bid JS bye-bye. If you must know, Silverhand, I think what happened between us was unusual for him. The exception that confirms the rule.

Despite my inner monologue, I childishly clung on to his collar, demanding his undivided attention with a few facial gestures. Don't pout.Don'tpout.Don'tpout.

My dear fox caught on immediately and walked away with me. Our conversation was, as expected, focused on his plan to use the upcoming parade to reach Hanako.

"I know how important this is for you. I get it. But have you considered how high the stakes are? Aren't you throwing your life away?"

"What life? This life?". He sounded dejected. Mournful, even.

"Wow... a'right. I guess I should be thankful I'm dying soon then. Liberation from a life so fucking miserable should be a good thing, no?"

"Ahh, V. That's not what I mean. And I'm not being reckless with our lives. What to do to convince you...".

"Sky-diving into Hanako's float is what then? BD thrill material?".

Our argument carried on. In hushed voices and full of uncomfortable gestures. He was unhappy that I showed reticence to play along. He hated the idea of me trying to find a solution to the relic that didn't involved Arasaka.

After a series of clenching fists, face rubbings and exasperated sighs, he took my arm and half-dragged me to a more secluded spot. I was wound so tight I felt I'd snap if he tried to put his foot down.

"We'll run a test. So you see for yourself that the tech I got works. Arguing like this is leads nowhere. Let's stop".

"... the Kabuki shard? That's not even the part that worries me most".

"Do this and we can relax after. Talk more calmly. I promise".

I was feeling a bit shaky and much annoyed at him. He still had his arms crossed and his lips tightly pressed together as I stalked towards my objective.

I can't let his assertiveness cloud my own judgement. His bed manners may be my type but this is biz! And I'm not his pet.

The infiltration was quick and the shard, I had to admit, effective. With the virus in place we took our conversation to a nearby food stall. The suppressants started waning off so Silverhand chose to ruin my appetite. Don't get too attached to that 'Saka Dog.

I know I may have to kill him. I know he may be thinking the same. If you piss me off enough Johnny, I just might let him.

"Is the food not to your taste?" I asked, noticing his expression of disgust.

"Plastic and sawdust", he replied, repulsed. "You don't seem to like it either".

"I just lost my appetite, that's all. You truly hate it here, huh...", my words trailing off with a hint of sadness as the memory of him stating we had no future resurfaced in my brain.

"About your plan... let's assume I pull off my part and buy you time to reach the float and you don't get immediately killed there. What about me?".

"..."

"You know if Oda spots me, he'll kill me. I'm nothing but toxic in his eyes. And even if I manage to avoid him, there's a netrunner who could fry me. Oh, and Hanako can still refuse to help"

The silence was deafening. But I saw what I was looking for. Up close, in a well lit area, he couldn't completely hide that a part of him didn't revel in the idea of my death. He wasn't completely indifferent.

"Your eyes are truly honest, Goro. No matter how I spin this, the chances of me being fucked are high. And not in a fun way."

I bowed my head and he shuffled from the barstool.

"I'll do some recon to prepare our next task. Contact you later".

Ha, like hell you're leaving me like this.

"Goro. It's late. You've been thinking about this non-stop for days. What recon are you gonna do in the dark with the limited gear you've access to?"

He seemed taken aback.

"I'll help you out with it. Tomorrow. Fresh eyes, n' all"

He clenched his jaw tight. I pressed on.

"Stay with me tonight. Don't you feel even a little guilt using me so shamelessly and making me go hungry?"

With a small smile, he nodded and we drove back to my apartment.

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"Let's get pizza and some beers. Maybe it won't be as disappointing as the food stall since you have no expectations".

"No wonder your eating habits are so frightful. You don't even have a kitchen", he said scanning my place in one quick sweep.

I rolled my eyes at him and busied myself trying to tidy up, while he was standing by the door like a statue.

"Make yourself at home, will ya? You're off the clock!", I encouraged him passing him a beer.

Slowly, he started showing interest in my things. He rummaged around my stash, admiring the weapons I'd collected. He seems to have perked up, the thought making me smile widely. The man does love a weapon collection.

Now, I had honestly forgotten that that was there. I'd even forgotten I owned it. And I certainly didn't expect him to find it.

"Leather straps? What do you use this for? Is it broken? Should you toss it?, he fired the questions in quick succession without letting me interject.

Burning red like a ripe tomato, I rushed to snatch it from him and stuffed it deep in the wardrobe.

"Wait. Is that... clothing? But... There's barely any "cloth"... just what do you..". His voice lowered into a mumble and his eyes flashed from side to side rapidly, as he was trying to piece it together.

"Put it on", he said after a few half a minute, in that tone he seemed to use with his subordinates.

"No way, Jose!"

He stared hard and his presence seemed to grow bigger, towering.

"Are you going to make me repeat myself?", he said cocking his head down on me and slowly enunciating every word.

"I don't want to. I haven't even showered yet! I'm dirty!"

He dug the "outfit" back out from the pile I hid it under, and put it in my hands. Then pointed towards the bathroom and turned to keep rummaging my things. Sighing, I conceded.

As I took a few steps out, feeling extremely exposed, he didn't even try hiding the fact that just looking at me made him adjust his cock, fixing it as if it hurt.

"Need a hand? , I asked, putting as much playful intent in my voice as I could. Then, I noticed he was holding something else he'd found.

"Ah, that!", I stammered, and forgetting my nakedness I hurried over to take my stuff away. But he reacted fast. The feeling of his rough hands against my skin sent an electric jolt down my spine. As he strapped the choker and garters tight, he toyed with the string suit, making me squirm.

"Given your talent and eagerness to please I think it’s about time I put a collar on you. And these too. You'll have to wear these three pieces, always. Do not remove any of them without my express permission. Understood, V?"

"You look amazing. Now let's see about that shower".

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[Link to explicit images of their night at Atrium]

Bonus track: the forgotten pizza

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Reminder: do not engage if you're under 18. NSFW. Explicit VP. M/F nudity. Consensual. Rough.

Previous entry

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Entry 04

… t̲̂̓ͩ̑r̴̨̦͕̝ā̤̓̍͘ṇ̤͛̒̍s̠҉͍͊ͅc͕͗ͤ̕̕r̴̨̦͕̝ỉ͔͖̜͌b̬͖̏́͢ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍ĝ̽̓̀͑ …

There's not much worth recording about our meeting with Japantown's fixer, Okada. We got there, I mocked Goro's parking skills, we secured some useful intel but my personal highlight was the old man outside the pachinko parlor. He provided unexpected entertainment at Goro's expense by declaring this man had to be the popular TV host, Hideshi Hino. I admit, I egged the old man on to put Goro in a tight spot and watch him squirm. Finger-licking good to watch.

"A delightful, mature woman", was the first thing he said when left the parlor.

Is he fucking serious? Or is he taking a dig at me?! Fighting to recover from that mental blow, he droned on:

"The information will take some to process and I want to reach out to some associates. I'll remain here"

Here. HERE. My brain started short-circuiting trying to understand how to deal with this unforeseen outcome.

"Stay safe, Goro", those words escaped me as if they were scripted. He's dismissing me for the night and that's all I have to say back? The fuck is wrong with me! Wait. Am I gonna lose to Okada?!

As he turned back toward the pachinko place, I blurted out:

"Hey, wait. It's late, you said it yourself, and my car is in the shop (bless you, Delamain!). Could I get a ride? Please. I'm not far."

Though I got stared at with "that" signature frown again, he nodded and we made our way back to the van he'd left parked outside Cherry Blossom Market. I was lost in my own heated fantasy drama when he took a sudden step toward me and the warning of an unauthorized scan snapped me back to reality. I panicked!

In a gesture that would've seemed slow and nonchalant to anyone watching us, Goro pushed me against the van and cocked his head sideways.

"Did I not to tell you I got a ripperdoc to do some work on my deprecated implants recently?"

He lazily placed his right hand on my stomach and I felt the pressure increase.

"You never tell me anything I don't need to know. Do you?"

"I tried to be respectful of your privacy. But I'm the one struggling to understand why you continue to provoke me. And I'm not talking about the TV host prank you so happily took advantage of".

My breath was caught in my throat and I couldn't even look at him straight in the eye. I must've looked like a fish out of water, mouthing without making a sound. I was an open book to him now; a full picture of my vitals in his grasp.

"Why is it, I wonder? Is it merely because you thought I'd be oblivious without my scanner or perhaps you think I'm above this type of temptation?"

Stammering like a false witness, I attempted a reply.

"It's not like that. Part of me was hoping... I, well... I wanted you to notice but I di-...

He switched sides as some people moved past us and this time I felt his left hand move further down. At that point, I knew I was finished. There was no hiding how wet his mere proximity made me. I mean, I was nearly pulsing with anticipation.

"Should I take this as a confirmation of my conclusion? Do you really want to do this? With me, of all people". His breath quickened a notch.

"Tell me now and speak honestly. This is your one and only chance".

"I do want this", I whispered quickly. "Could you p-please back away? I can't think straight."

He remained in place, unblinking, even increased the pressure against my pelvis, as his frown deepened. Waiting.

"Uhm, alright. Ever since the day you rescued me I… I see your face all the time, even with my eyes closed! My brain is fucked up, OK? So I thought maybe if I can fuck this feeling away... or through"

He squinted at me again and the pressure from his hand started lifting as he moved away from my wet underwear. Panic resurfaced.

Ack, he looks put off. Did I sound like some immature brat again ? I can’t mess this up. If I don’t break through to him now I won’t be able to try again.

"No... wait! Still frozen in place, my head spinning, unable to completely filter my words, I did my best to weave a justification. "You told me to speak honestly. We barely know each other, true. We don't talk about each others' lives. You... you may have a family back in Japan for all I know. If so, I'm very sorry for making you uncomfortable and possibly putting you in a situation you never wanted to be in."

"But, I'm 100% sure I want you to fuck me, at least once... try and fuck me dumb. I do want you, for you, so badly. It's not the relic. I'm not confused. I know how much I'm attracted to you even if I don't know why. But I’ll take it all back if you tell me to".

Looking at me like he was decrypting each syllable to spot a lie or hidden agenda, the seconds carried on with the finality of an explosive device timer. I was sweating bullets before he spoke again, in his usual calm and composed manner.

"Say no more. I won’t talk about my personal life with you. There’s little trust between us. And there’s no future. You know that. I know that."

Deflated, I prepared for complete and utter rejection. Goro’s face remained unreadable but he wasn't done.

"I expect you to realize one thing. Everything that happens from this point onward is on you. You started this. It was enough for me to just stay by your side, as allies. I won't hold back anymore".

As if to mark his words, he turned me around and holding my wrists behind my back he pressed me against the back door of the van.

"I won't be gentle. We won't cuddle. I will push you as far as I want. I’m not doing this to help you deal with your twisted thoughts. Understand?", he whispered.

"Mmhm…"

"If you agree then get in. Don't make me wait any longer. If this is what you truly want, you're going to get it. Every inch of it. For your sake, I hope you can take me well".

And I did. Though there was no dedicated foreplay (not that I needed it anyway), I can't recall ever being so satisfied. So full. I didn't want the night to end despite being incredibly exhausted, bruised and swollen by the time he took me back to Atrium.

[Link to explicit images of the van encounter]

Greedily, all I could think of was how to get him to fuck me again, even if I had to beg.

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Reminder: do not engage if you're under 18. This rambling of mine will get a mature rating when I share Entry 04.

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Entry 03

… t̲̂̓ͩ̑r̴̨̦͕̝ā̤̓̍͘ṇ̤͛̒̍s̠҉͍͊ͅc͕͗ͤ̕̕r̴̨̦͕̝ỉ͔͖̜͌b̬͖̏́͢ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍ĝ̽̓̀͑ …

A few days have passed, and not a single hour went by without me opening my phone, looking at his contact and wondering if should just text him. I've no idea what to say, he holds all the initiative and I'm stuck waiting. "Agonizing", I mumble in between frequent sighs.

When the screen suddenly lit up and I saw his name, I almost dropped the phone. "!!" I opened the text in a hurry - finally! He wants to meet again.

"What’s with the old-fashioned, obscure metaphors? Hahaha. Such a dork. He almost makes it too easy to mess with him". But he wasn't up for text banter... "fiiiinee, suit yourself". One good chuckle with a lingering effect is more than I get these days.

I did remember his goal was for both of us to meet a contact of his. In my mind I run the possibilities of what kind of contact a corpo outcast could have in a foreign city. Parse that against his goals, and I come to the conclusion the probability of getting captured tonight (or even dying) is not negligible, as he could very well use me to redeem himself. Well, he's no fool... by now he probably estimates that delivering me to Arasaka isn't enough to save his own skin. Yorinobu wants us both zeroed.

Let's recap. What do I (think I) know about this man? (a thought within a thought, or a spliced thought, is becoming a more frequent occurrence). "One" I said, extending my index finger, "he's anything but rash". There's an aura of sincerity and determination that makes me feel he'd never be caught in a lie, hell, not even a bluff. "Two, he doesn't say anything he doesn't mean so his silences hold a lot of weight". He has confirmed we're to help each other, but his plans remain mostly hidden from me at this point, so estimating my value isn't easy. "Three, he doesn't owe me any fealty, but I owe him big which puts me at a disadvantage".

I reached the meeting point that night, and there indeed did I find my fox. In spite of the facts rationally laid out, my instincts tell me he doesn't completely underestimate our bond. Of course, it doesn't help my own assessment capabilities when my stupid brain finds romantic all these little casual comments he makes before quickly changing the subject. It's even worse with his body language. I practically feel my knees weaken.

"Your outfit is a bit...", he half coughed, half choked

"Eye-catching?" I asked while raising an eyebrow and exaggerating the Jessica Rabbit-batting eyelashes move.

"... scarce", he concluded, looking away. "We're meeting someone from Arasaka, an old pupil of mine".

"What's wrong with my - pfft! A'right, yeah... I figured".

We waited in silence, exchanging the occasional glance. I noticed something that could be a tendency with everyone he engages in conversation but I don't have reference to compare: his hands move towards mine when he's talking, no matter how small the subject. Or am I paying too much attention to small gestures that mean nothing?

The meeting in question was short. His contact was none other than Sandayu Oda, Hanako's bodyguard. Oh, look, another strong and silent guy... how original.

Unlike Goro, Oda was a little easier to read: he did not like me. Not one bit. He particularly didn't like me being next to Takemura. There was a strong negative wave shooting from his whole body toward me. Not the bloodlust type, as in, he didn't want to kill me at this point. But the animosity was thick.

Little came out of the meeting, honestly, but we both survived. I'm sure Takemura wasn't in any danger from that guy, though. Still, whatever their connection it wasn't enough to guarantee much help. Just a bit of information and Oda bolted away to his master. I caught myself thinking: what a shame. I wanted to hang out together a lil' longer. That made me let out an audible sigh and Takemura's eyes locked on me.

"Disappointed?"

"Yeah... though not about what you think", I added in a smaller voice. I turned around to sit on one of the concrete barriers by the water, and so he couldn't scrutinize my face so closely. Am I actually a bit afraid he'd notice how I involuntary light up when he asks me to tag along? When I’m useful.

"We need a fixer. An expert in Japantown", he said as he took a few steps in my direction.

"I know just the woman for that. Wakako Okada". 

"Meet me there". He changed directions from me to his van.

Again with the orders, I thought. But before I could counter, I saw him do a half turn, open his mouth and hesitate.

"Or... do you, by any chance, want to go there with me now? I understand if you don't. It's getting late." 

"Of course I want a ride, Goro!" I said happily, throwing my arms skyward. And completely oblivious this was my first time using his first name to his face.

"Help me down and we'll get going!"

"No."

"Awww, come on! Play along for once, will ya? Come give me a hand". 

Instead, he gave me hooded squint. "You perched yourself there without help". But his expression softened just for a fraction of a sec.

"Was that a SMILE? IT WAS! I saw you! Your lips curved up!" 

He exhaled loudly as he started walking towards me.

"Shut up, V. You’re such a brat. Come down now or I’m leaving without you". 

Despite his tone he was already putting his arms around me before finishing the sentence. His breath next to my ear made me quiver.

Anything for a chance to close this distance and cling to him. My heart totally skipped a beat when his arms closed around my waist and my weight was lifted as he hoisted me down. He got fussy but ended up doing as I asked. Fucking cute, I thought.

It’s surreal, this whole situation I mean. Usually I would be paying more attention and analyzing his plans more closely… poking and prodding for insights. Very unlike me to let someone lead me by the nose like this.

In the car my thoughts kept drifting because of him... the jazzy music on the radio seemed to be mocking my cowardice, and in a small enclosed space like that I became painfully aware of him. His scent. His breathing. I prayed for him not to scan me and pick up on signs that would give away my feelings. Ah right, he can’t. He said he lost all his implants functionalities when he turned coat. A small sigh of relief escaped me and it made him give me a side-eye. 

Even though it's nothing more than brief, meaningless small talk, he did say something that made my brain flare.

"You mock me too carelessly, too often"

A hot flash crossed my cheeks and once again I prayed for him to remain unaware of my inner turmoil. Ugh, what's with this shyness all of a sudden? Am I not eager for him to notice and take charge? Stay focused. We're almost at our destination. Breathe, V. Breathe.

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Reminder: do not engage if you're under 18. This rambling of mine will get a mature rating when I share Entry 04.

Previous Entry

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Entry 02

… t̲̂̓ͩ̑r̴̨̦͕̝ā̤̓̍͘ṇ̤͛̒̍s̠҉͍͊ͅc͕͗ͤ̕̕r̴̨̦͕̝ỉ͔͖̜͌b̬͖̏́͢ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍ĝ̽̓̀͑ …

I wasn't completely surprised when Takemura reached out first.

"He's keeping tabs on me", I thought. "I shouldn't like that, right?"

Yet the sound of his voice was a soothing lull that awakened a craving I didn't know I had. Hell if it didn't make me a lil' giddy. "Ugh, how old am I? Get a grip".

"Meet with me", he said. How does he strike that tone, exactly? It's a demand with an edge of urgency yet it remains polite while giving no room to argue. I've no idea what he's up to but his situation feels very familiar. After all, I suffered my own fall from corpo-grace.

"Jackie", the word almost left my lips as my memories of my friend's last moments resurfaced while Takemura was still talking. Even though I spaced out, I caught the gist of his words. "Back up... is he implying he needs me, right now? Me. Well, my help. Hah."

I agreed to meet at Tom's Diner, a place not far from where I live. Ok. Enough to suspect you know my address, mister.

"Sit. I ordered coffee for you too. Black. No sugar."

I slid into the seat across from him as he took a sip of his cup. "Has a plastic coffee mug ever looked this enticing before?" I shook my head hard and focused on the buns, wondering if they were for me as well. I didn't get a chance to ask as he was eager to cut to the chase. My gonk'ed brain was happy he didn't expect me to converse much.

"I don't expect justice but I will have revenge... for Saburo"

His offer was a typical quid pro quo, using the chip in my head to leverage my aid. This is not about trust, but convenience. We both know that. But this is not the type of coaxing I'd like to hear from him. One can daydream, k?

My train of thought was at that moment interrupted by Hanako Arasaka's appearance on live TV. I suppressed a chuckle as soon as I noticed the tiny pang of jealousy I felt seeing how he stared at the screen. The knot in my stomach as he jumped to defend Hanako's honor from Tom's harsh remarks was physically painful. She wasn't even present yet he was reacting so strongly that I had to intervene, and he left shortly after, taking that aura of roiling thunder with him.

Such compulsion. Truly, he'd been a dog on a leash for far too long. Habits die hard. So, what was so hot about that? That he heard my words through his red haze? Responded to my actions through his conditioning? "Hot? Am I still concussed?" I shook that thought away as I watched him walk away. Over and over. But it kept coming back.

What kind of trauma-forged bond was this that it made my mind go black when looking into his eyes? Or sigh quietly when my own gaze wandered up and down from his face to the rest of him. I'm stupidly drawn to him, and that makes my brain passenger, Silverhand, beyond uncomfortable.

I should consider Takemura just an enemy, of course. A temporary ally, at best. "Overthinking much, V?". What is there to lose if I show a little personal interest? What could happen that'd be so terrible? Might as well go for it, no? Perhaps the old dog will bite just the way I like it.

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This retelling/HC rambling doesn't start out smutty but it will go there a few entries from now, so save yourself the time if you're not interested (and kindly go away if you're a minor).

In the future, general expectations should be: strong language, m/f nudity, explicit virtual photography and m-dom tendencies.

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Entry 01

… t̲̂̓ͩ̑r̴̨̦͕̝ā̤̓̍͘ṇ̤͛̒̍s̠҉͍͊ͅc͕͗ͤ̕̕r̴̨̦͕̝ỉ͔͖̜͌b̬͖̏́͢ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍ĝ̽̓̀͑ …

I don't know how many of you gonks have ever been in a situation where your brains just plainly fail to process what happens around you. Or to you. For me, that was the day I flatlined. Oh, I was a goner a'right. Yet, against all odds, and of all people on Night City, an Arasaka bloodhound that had caught my scent gave me a second chance at life. Goro Takemura was without a doubt my lifeline.

Don't be fooled. I'm aware he had no intention of being my savior; I was just a task, an item to check on a to-do list. But at that moment, to my concussed self, he appeared no different from an avenging angel of retribution as he came down and rescued me from the very maws of the void. Now I owe a debt, a life debt no less, to a man I don't truly know or understand; a man who can't possibly ever be on my side. Not like Jackie was.

In the fragmented memories I retain of the events that followed my (un)glorified resurrection, Takemura's there. I didn't know his name at the time but his face was burned into my circuits. Especially those haunting eyes. Hovering over me, fussing over me, pushing me past my limits. Unwilling to let me give up.

Now, I had bigger problems. Or better said, a death sentence in the ugly shape of a 'saka chip whose dweller was overwriting... well, me. An annoying code ghost who even tried to kill me when I was at my lowest... hell, it'll kill me even if it actively does nothing but exist.

Is it any surprise that I would latch on to the one face I associated with my survival? Like an animal's imprint. Those dark eyes glowing white, that low voice mumbling a little louder than the others... he became synonymous with salvation.

Ahh, damn it all. I didn't even have time to properly mourn the loss of my best friend. My brother by choice. And now, confronted with the mess that is my "new" life, is it so fucking wrong to crave for a bit of safety? Sure, it's an unfamiliar feeling... when have I ever felt safe? So few, brief, and far between moments pop in my head (Mama Wells kitchen, Vik's chair, Jackie's couch). Sigh.

It's not like I wanted to admit it to myself. I hate this introspection shit. But I'm overwhelmed. Frankly, I welcome this... this budding "fixation" that tickles and rises from the bottom of my stomach all the way to my throat... the one thing that makes me feel good inside in this city of dreams nightmares.

I want him to look at me again and this time, I want to look right back at him.