I'm making true of my word and going over how I would rewrite the songs in Hazbin Hotel to make them flow better in the story. Starting with...
For starters, I would change how the song starts. After Charlie tells Vaggie about the meeting and leaves to go attend it, it's after she leaves that she starts singing of reassuring herself that she got this and that she can officially begin getting people on board with the hotel.
Instead of her singing about her surroundings, the lyrics would be changed to Charlie singing about how much her mom cared about their people and now wants to continue what her mom started. and doing that by redeeming them and saving them from extermination.
I think the only thing I would change is the beginning where instead of Charlie showing him fucking crayon drawings, she shows him actual statistics and photos of how Hell looks and WHY the exterminations need to stop and to give the hotel a chance. But other than that, the rest of the song can stay the same.
This song is going to go through some drastic changes from how it actually is in canon. Instead of it being a Vox and Alastor song, it's a song about demons whispering on the streets about how Alastor has now returned and what he plans to do.
They wonder if he wants more souls in his grasp, make more Overlords disappear to have something to broadcast on his radio show, or maybe even turn some of them into an afternoon snack. By the end of the song Alastor has his ending verse that leaves the city feeling dread.
It Starts With Sorry can more or less stay the same, it's a nice little song that does it's job well enough.
With this song I'm taking it in a different direction, starting with ALL of the Vees being present for the meeting instead of Velvette. And when the topic of the beheaded angel and wanting to bring the fight to Heaven comes up, that's when the song begins.
Each verse would be introducing the Vees and what they are capable of, ending with a big chorus of why they believe with their forces combined they could easily take down Heaven. Along with jabbing Carmilla that she may know something about how the angel got beheaded in the first place.
That way this acts as a proper introduction to the Vees and why they're considered a possible threat in the future.
Whatever it takes... just cut it out completely. the time could be spent Carmilla explaining what happened that day while Vaggie could come to terms that what she did was wrong and that forcing them to learn isn't going to be the way to redemption.
So for this one, I would personally replace this one with another one. A fan song actually called Show and Tell by Paranoid DJ. It's tone is better than Poison's and gets across the point without it coming off as poppy and to get up and dance to. It would show Angel's job for what it really is, ending with Angel Dust on television and it turning off.
Oh boy this song... It's not really a bad song, it's more the lyrics than anything so let's start with that. In the second half of the song, Husk would be calling Angel Dust a winner in how he's able to stay strong despite what he's been through. Highlighting each other's pros and that despite their situations, they're still standing strong like they're winners instead of losers of the game.
I've already expressed how I don't like this song and how it's pretty much a pissing contest. But the song can be easily fixed with a simple change... instead of having Mimzy being the song to interrupt the song, it would be CHARLIE that breaks it up and calls them out on how childish they're acting.
And if they're going to act like children, then she's taking charge as the "parent" by forcing Lucifer to shut up and listen to the rest of the hotel tour while Alastor stays behind so he doesn't start shit.
This song would be more bittersweet than anything. It wouldn't be a song where Charlie and Lucifer make up, it would be more of acknowledging the mistakes they made and making a promise to be better. It wouldn't make up for everything, but it would be a start to Lucifer's redemption into being a better dad for Charlie.
I think the only problem with this song is that it's so bloated with stuff that it creates a blink and you'll miss it moment. I would leave some things out of the song to make room for Charlie to actually present her arguments on why some sinners deserve a chance, things like the reveal of the exterminations and Vaggie's lie being exposed can be excluded since those kind of moments deserve the proper reactions rather than sang in a song.
This is another song that can pretty much be cut since it's just another song repeating what we already know, such as how much Vaggie loves Charlie and that she needs to fight for love. And instead have the scene focus more on Carmilla calling Vaggie out for her lack of trust and honesty in Charlie, and maybe a more in depth reason for Vaggie sparing that child and what led up to it.
Ready For This can stay the same, the only major change I would make is not have Alastor chime in to convince the cannibals since this was supposed to be Charlie's moment.
More Than Anything Reprise can be cut too, like why does it even exist other than to show the audience that Chaggie's a couple and not to mention the scene itself is entirely unearned.
And the finale song is... ehh? But I think what would help it better is if there were actual scenes of Charlie being helpful and actually making things for the better, that way it doesn't look like the characters are just talking out their asses and making things up because the plot says so.
