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The barman looks at him and says… “Hang on! You’re a duck!”

“I see your eyes are working.” replies the duck.

"And you can talk!!” exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are working, too.” says the duck. "Now if you don’t mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?”

“Certainly. Sorry about that.” says the barman, as he pulls the duck’s pint. "It’s just, we don’t get many a ducks in this pub. What are you doing around this way?”

“I’m working on the building site across the road” explains the duck. "I’m a plasterer.”

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck, and wants to learn more. But takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it. The duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, pays up, bids the barman a good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him “You’re with the circus, aren’t you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!”

“Sounds marvellous!” says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call.”

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says “Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money.”

“Swell. I’m always looking for the next job.” says the duck. “Where is it?”

“At the circus.” says the barman.

"The circus?” repeats the duck.

“That’s right.” replies the barman.

"The circus??” the duck asks again ”…with, the big tent?”

“Yeah.” the barman replies.

"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?” asks the duck.

“Of course.” the barman replies.

"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?” persists the duck.

“That’s right.” says the barman.

Here’s a list of published articles for your reading enjoyment: 

Hypable: “Peggy Carter Deserved Better in Endgame”

Avengers: Endgame gets so many things right when it comes to celebrating the first 10 years of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Peggy Carter isn’t one of them. […] Avengers: Endgame didn’t include Peggy as the character she grew to be. It didn’t do anything to further our love for or understanding of her. It merely included Peggy as the object of Steve’s affections. As a symbol of his happiness. As a prize to be won.

The Wrap: “Avengers: Endgame – That Last Scene Makes No Sense”

So, yeah, this whole thing is a super-weird mess. It doesn’t fit at all for Cap as a human being, and it doesn’t fit with the time travel rules, and it really just doesn’t seem all that well thought out, opting for emotional fan service at the expense of any kind of narrative coherence. They should have just killed off “Captain America” in the final battle in “Avengers: Endgame” instead. It would have, at least, spared me the pain of having to try to parse all this stuff.

CNET: “Avengers: Endgame’s 9 most annoying moments”

Much has been said about Cap’s happy ending. After returning the Infinity Stones to their rightful place, he goes back for Peggy and they grow old together, making it as though Steve Rogers was never cryogenically frozen for 70 years. Presumably, he’s now lived life in his own timeline (is he living both timelines at once?) instead of popping back into 2023 on a platform the Hulk created for this last time-traveling adventure. We see Cap on a bench right next to this site, 5 seconds after he “left”. […] In the final scene, Captain Rogers and Peggy dance in a quiet house on a quiet street, a tidy, satisfying ending for Cap fans that’s more of a head-scratcher for people like me who are wondering why Rogers would risk altering the past or present of a world he’s taken great pains to help restore.

TVGuide: “Avengers: Endgame Dashes Any Lingering Hope For An Agent Carter Revival”

And while it’s an incredibly touching scene and, clearly, one that we’ve been building to for years, it also manages to dash any hope we had for a revival of ABC’s Agent Carter. Sure, Steve has his happy ending, but Agent Carter viewers do not have one whatsoever.

IGN: “Avengers: Endgame Filmmakers Can’t Agree on the Ending”

It’s such a great question that Avengers: Endgame directors Anthony and Joe Russo and screenwriters Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely can’t seem to agree on which one is actually true.

GameSpot: “Avengers Endgame: Captain America’s Ending Totally Ruins The Movie”

It’s cheap, not romantic, and a needlessly dull edge to an otherwise powerful arc. The lesson that ought to be about processing grief and turning toward the future became a carelessly handwaved wink-nod at returning to the past, at which point Steve’s journey is no longer about the process of recovery, it’s a message about working really hard until you’re miraculously presented with a magic bullet to make all your hard work and effort no longer matter. […] It’s wonderful that Steve and Peggy finally got their dance, it’s just a shame it happened at the expense of continuing Peggy Carter’s story.

Nerdist: “Avengers: Endgame’s Writers and Directors Can’t Agree on What Happens at the End”

Not for nothing, it’s a bit odd that a movie’s writers and directors could have such drastically different readings of their own movie.

Collider: “Avengers: Endgame Writers Explain the Conclusion to Captain America’s Story”

I’m okay with that not being an alternate timeline. My question is what kind of person would Steve Rogers be in the past. He still had the gift of the Super Soldier serum, so would he commit himself to helping others? Would he have to get a new identity? Captain America was pretty famous during World War II, so how would he handle that?

IndieWire: “Avengers: Endgame Gave One Avenger a Happy Ending (But Rewrote the End of ‘Agent Carter’)

It’s nice that Steve Rogers got a happy ending, but hopefully Sousa didn’t take it too hard when Peggy’s barely-an-ex swept back into her life. And hopefully, future viewers will be able to forgive “Endgame” for how it almost, but not quite, managed to make the Marvel Cinematic Universe feel united.

USA Today: “Avengers Endgame: Captain America’s head-scratching ending, explained”

But, for all the moments the movie executed with perfection, the end of Captain America’s story arc feels like a crucial, head-scratching misstep. The film leans heavily on time travel to set the world right after Thanos’ snap, which causes a host of problems. Trying to untangle the logic of time travel is never really going to work, but this is a plot hole so huge, that, even at the slightest examination, it caves in on itself like a collapsing portal, so let’s try anyway.

Screen Rant: “Endgame: 5 Reasons Iron Man’s Death Was Justified (& 5 Why It Should’ve Been Captain America)”

1. CAPTAIN AMERICA: HIS ACTUAL ENDING WASN’T THAT GREAT […] To be completely honest, part of our wanting Captain America to make the sacrifice comes down to the fact that his actual ending in Avengers: Endgame wasn’t all that good. We mentioned before that it was out of character for him to sit around knowing his friends were in pain, and this is further supported when you consider how much better it would’ve been had he sacrifice himself instead.

And here’s even an article written about this possibility from before the release of Endgame. So some were fearful of this even before it became canon. 

Syfy: “Please, For the Love of God, Marvel, Do Not Retcon Agent Carter in Endgame”

Listen. Chris Evans and Hayley Atwell had fantastic chemistry, and their tearful conversation before Steve crashes the plane murders my very soul every time I watch it. There is no denying that these two deserved a life together. However, I really, really hope that Marvel doesn’t go that route, because that would mean the erasure of everything that happened in Agent Carter, and quite frankly, that would be a gross injustice done to Margaret Goddamn Carter.