not your baby

damn, I sure have expensive taste for someone with only $4

This might come as a shock but I’m Not Feelin too good my dudes

you know that mood you get in sometimes where you just fucking are in love with drinking water

me whispering to my dog in the dark: hey.. you still up?

[sees a dog] [gentle gasp]

Being 20+ is basically a constant question of “am I doing enough” and the answer always being a solid ‘no’

my brain before going through airport security: what if i accidentally have a gun

You ever meet a girl and you’re just like,,, you got way too much chaotic energy to be straight.

I literally can’t get myself to sit through movies that don’t have women. I’m like where the fuck are the women? Why are there so many men? This is boring as fuck goodbye

Even if it’s historically accurate?

as everyone knows, women were invented in 1990