apoorva

The mist of her breath warms my skin. How close can we really get to someone?

It scares me sometimes to let her in. What if she sees the darkest parts?

And I wonder is she as scared as I am, or even more?

So today, among the right swipes on Tinder, the matches on OkCupid, and the stumbles on Bumble…

In between all those hellos and pretty faces,

I choose to swipe, stumble, and match with myself.

To offer myself the love I keep searching for. To speak comfort into my own fears, to sit with my insecurities instead of running from them.

Pandemic has brought too many ups and downs which turned into poetry.

This is just an honest conversation and emotional rant with myself… Those moments when you want to hustle and you want to move ahead. And it’s not that you don’t know ‘how to’, but you just feel exhausted with everything. And wish really really hard upon this halt to be a blessing in disguise! And all that hope that you always had won’t be lost !

Wrote this yesterday evening when I was feeling exhausted being unable to figure out how to move ahead in life. Picture in the background is clicked by me. Location - Dandali beach.

Here is someone dose of Hindi poetry with sounds of my words... Do give it a your 4mins and let me know your thoughts on it.

:)

Love

In this moment,

My heart is cuffed by your thoughts,

Craving for your presence!

I'm lying on the floor so cold that my body seems to be lost in the ocean's depths!

so I ask,

Lay down next to me, will you?

Forgive me,

For everything I'm doing to you, in my mind!

This desire to know how it feels to hold you in my arms,

It's all in my head, yet i promise to be gentle!

Touch every inch of you with my fingertips, so I can feel all your curves.

I can't even make a movement, its like drowning, yet so beautiful!

My head is gushed in the storm of these and many other thoughts.

Every drop of the blood in my body just rushed to rescue my heart, beating in your breath's rhythm.

We met - on the riverbank,

I was sitting on the edge of a steep rock,

In the abyss of time, I was lost watching - swiftly flowing river.

This river is ice cold - yet soothes my soul,

I wonder where does this river finally merges the ocean.

The very next moment - You sat right next to me.

We sat there - too afraid to break the silence.

An outsider might see this as an uncomfortable moment between strangers.

These are - halcyon romantic moments - in its own way, right!

This wordless connection - can't fit in a template!

so I wonder, can we meet like 'the river meets the ocean...',

A little bit - with each moment - with everything it took through its journey, 

yet anew!

Well, I don't understand love, truly I don't!

We can break the walls piece by piece - put aside our fear to break,

and to be seen through! 

Just like the river flows - eroding the mountains and valley!

We can share this profound feeling of being one yet being each's own-self.

But let's not call this anything but us

there is a hurricane outside

but heart is at ease,

my soul is calm !

don't be troubled by my coldness,

its peace and its acceptance of the hurricane !

troubled is my heart,

restless is my mind,  

my soul is still calm !

answers that have not found their question, 

ain't really lost, they are at peace even in this chaos !

can we put off the forest fire ?

running wont help either,

afterall, you cant escape the burns !

My mind is epitome of chaos,

My heart is on fire yet numb,

But my soul is still calm !

Its peace and its acceptance of the fire !!

Fire on the beach,

lighting up the sky tonight.

there was a void,

ghost of memories shook it !

Walking towards the high tide,

the fear is washed away !

is it possible ,

to be most alive at the moment so numb !

stars are dancing,

celebrating the holy act.

is it possible,

someones light can be someones darkest moment !

Fire on the beach,

reaches to the sky tonight !

my heart feel the weight of all i don’t know,

let the moonlight light up your soul tonight.

Throwback Travel Post !! - Helsinki Trip

July 7, 2019 (Sunday) 11:30PM

Since Ritviz - Raahi hai released it's been getting alot of backlash from LGBTQ+ community in india for the lead actor of the song, and that how a cis straight man can write anthem for queer community.

So I decided to write my own Pride anthem. Written in Hindi as that's my native language :)

हो गया सवेरा।

अंधेरा किसको रोक सका है?

खोल दे दरवाज़े दिल के,

बन पतंगा उड़जा तू आज।

सिपाही बन अपने प्यार का!

टूटा तो क्या?

जुड़ जाता है सभ प्यार से,

सच्चाई से,

उम्मीदों से।

जमा किया है जो

तिनका-तिनका हौंसला,

चल तू उसी से आज

उठा कदम

अपनी पहचान का !

चिंगारी है तेरी आवाज़!

दिल में जो है वो सुन के तो देख,

दिल में जो है वो केहके तो देख,

दीप जल जाएंगे तेरी रौशनी से।

सुकून मिलता है

अब इस ही रौशनी में।

हो गया सवेरा।

अंधेरा किसको रोक सका है?

Hinglish Poetry Alert !!

Dekhte dekhte din ye guzre Jaane Kahan hai din wo purane Jab Traffic ki dhul aur office ki much much walle din Savera hota tha humari devi jesi Kaam walli didi ki Ghati se

Since March 21st 2020, we have been in lockdown in India. What i miss is something i wanted to be away from... Traffic, office hustle. Isnt it strange that we have been complain that due to run for better work, pay and lifestyle we don’t stop... we have that moment here to stop for ourselves. 

In India what we have is house help, its a profession and not getting that suddenly is a huge change ! Damn what more can i say !

Ab toh Coffee aur chini bhi hani Dangal ke maidan mai 400 sadiya lag gayi Par Milli nahi Soft peak yaha pe

Dalgona Coffee context !! Well we have been making this ‘pheta hua Coffee’  since aggess and it became viral during quarantining ! 

Reality show jessa hai Ghar se Kaam Wifi aur phone ka network ka wada bilkul chillar mai milne wali Salary hikes ki tarah

Untold tragedy ki karta hi nahi koi baat asking are you still sleeping kya se judged every morning Yes, I'm the one who is guilty of enjoy my lazy mornings all hafta Jese tum mana rahe ho Sunday har din Lagta hai boss ko tumhare Expectation and reality ke mare ho tum maanas bichare Bartan kapadhe Jhadu kadhka aur khane ke hai wande Missing you mom ke moments Abb hote hai kafi saare

Go carona carona go Kehte kehte Kamse kamse jaa to raha hai SunTan hamara Thali bhi bajai aur Deepak bhi lagaya expectations se thoda jyada karne ki aadat hai purani Ruke nahi Deepak pe Baja dalla patake Aache din nahi aye phir bhi

Ye sabh hua Phir bhi umeed ki kiran hai Air Pollution ki ratings Saaf Aasman balcony se dikhti sunsan sadhke aur raat mai sitaare Wo saare bhale maanus Jo hai yodha Kuch ghar mai Beth kar Kuch insaniyat ka karam kar ke  

Par fir bhi Lockdown Jese climate change ki tarah hai Koi maan raha hai Koi nahi maan raha  

Mano ya na mano, 

Go carona carona go, 

So much more to see

This dream is deep

I touch the bottom of the ocean

It keeps getting deeper ahead

Was it my deed, I will never be able to get you to see

What I saw there....But I wish

Move forward, I tell myself everyday

But every step this dream is

Your hand in mine

Maybe you will see my dream

Happy

Move forward, I wish I could

I will fall for you, But if I let go of my truth

I will be nothing but a lie

Move forward, I wish I could

Make you see my dream, as I see it !!!

I wanna be remembered as my authentic self