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would you woohoo me on sims yes or no

mood: the mexican dude who told judge judy “this is your show but this is my episode”

listen i spent like 10 minutes looking up “business worm clip art” and “worm in bow tie” and when i couldn’t find it i just googled happy worm clip art and even drew a briefcase(and made sure to label it so there was no confusion) and i didn’t do that for less than 200 notes

/r/choosingbeggars is the only good Subreddit I’ve decided

This is so cursed I swear I lost five years of life

So my boyfriend came out as trans last night and I realized something… back when we first started dating we identified as lesbians, then I came out as trans and consequently realized I’m bisexual, and now I’m in a gay relationship. So what I’m trying to say is that I have actually been LGBT as a singular person. Every single acronym. I have ascended and reached gay nirvana

Abe “the babe” Lincoln

someone on r/legaladvice was sick of their coworker stealing their food out of the fridge so they started labeling it “POISON - DO NOT EAT” in sharpie on both the bag and the food’s wrapper every day and the person still kept stealing it so after a week they added a bunch of laxatives to their food and the thief had to go to the hospital and could possibly sue OP. the general consensus was that OP was technically objectively in the wrong from a legal standpoint but there is 0% chance of them being convicted in criminal court because that would require finding 12 jurors who would rule in favor of someone stealing food labeled “POISON - DO NOT EAT” and then getting poisoned

why doesn;t life….pick on someone her own size.. ive had enuf

See, this is healthy masculinity.

No. No it is not. This is me being a lesbian.

sure i may not “read the player’s handbook” or “know what an aasimar is” or “calculate basic math” but im gay, im having fun, and im eating dice so really who cares

aasimar is that thing where you get real close to the microphone and talk right

oh yeah that sounds familiar! thanks!

I want someone to romanticize me like emos romanticize 2005