i really like this thing where websites will have separate "log in" & "sign up" buttons and if you click "log in" it takes you to a sign-up screen anyway so you have to click "i already have an account" and then it will ask if you want to sign in with your facebook account or with instagram or linkedin or deviantart or whatever, and if you choose "username & password" it asks if you want to put in your username or use your thumbprint, and once you put your username & password it emails you a confirmation code, and once you put in the code it says "do you want to give us your phone number for future sign-ins? do you want to sign up for facial recognition? do you want to give us your bones? give us your fucking bones?

man this free will shit is easy (said while walking backwards into my doom that has been foretold for centuries

at least i can go to sleep at night knowing i'm not contributing anything to society

i hate it when you're heating something up in the microwave and it starts to go snap crackle pop so you take it out but it's still completely cold. shut up then??