WITCH.

Derek was a master lurker. He was surprised she was able to sense him. More than surprising, it was suspicious. Perhaps ominous even. " I am perfectly content with lurking. I am not one for small talk." Even saying those two sentences felt unnecessary.

she fights back a smile so he doesn't think she's laughing at him. "thanks for the update, perfectly content with lurking." okay, that probably wasn't much better. "maybe stop watching people broodingly from the shadows, if you don't want to engage in conversation? otherwise we might try to start one with you."

there weren't many people he felt like indulging today. that heart-split , stomach-sick feeling he'd been nursing since may had made a more permanent home in him ----- festered and rotted until he was rife with infection. take the antibiotics , excise the wound , but , god , it came back ..... it always came back. he could've lived with it ( or preferably died with it ) if they could only stop fucking hovering ..... he'd already readied himself to launch the pillow at elena or stefan ( whichever had assigned themself babysitting duty today ) when bonnie's voice cut through fog of self-induced isolation. see , the thing about bonnie was he actually liked her. she occupied that soft part of his heart reserved exclusively for the girls he'd grown up trailing behind .... the ones going through hell right now. he couldn't bring himself to be another absorbed prick wallowing in his own bullshit while she was hung out to dry. maybe to someone else , but not to her. a sigh. he dropped the pillow. turned down sweet spine and opened the door open. " hey. " the door swung open. he gestured for her to come inside. " you okay ?? "

bonnie perches on the very edge of his bed, expels a long breath, does her best not to glance around his room for any bongs or lighters or much worse, thanks. doesn't want to know any more than elena or jenna have already jumped all over him for. "what about you?" gazes up at him, steady, voice soft like she's already keeping a secret she hasn't yet heard. "how are you?"

"of course i know that, bonnie, but i was hoping you would talk to me. i know your list is just as big and chaotic, and we spend a lot of time on mine." it felt like pushing it. elena didn't want to spook bonnie or apply too much pressure and make her pull back, but she also knew the world didn't revolve around elena gilbert. bonnie had a heavy weight on her shoulders as well, and it was all too much to carry alone.

"i don't know what you want me to talk about, elena." her voice has gone unmistakably flat, lips pressing together into a hard line. she's being unfair, she's being unfair, she needs to reel it back in, but. "i just wanted to make sure it isn't another stefan situation bothering you, or a damon situation, because if it is, i'd rather catch it early on and help you fix it before someone else gets hurt. you know?"

"Me? Oh I'm not--I was just--I'm not like stalking you. I mean, I wouldn't stalk anyone. Not really the stalking type--my dads a cop, actually." he cut himself off and blew out a breath "The vending machine ate my five." he pointed at it. "I was seeing if it would give it back but now I'm realizing I would actually pay five more dollars if it got me out of this situation...."

"incredibly smooth save." flashes him a smile, teasing, her tension from before vanishing in the wake of his endearingly panicked explanation. she crosses closer to the vending machine, pressing experimental fingers against its surface. "so... does your cop dad know you stalk girls around town? or is it going to be a terrible surprise later?"

"wow, bon. lurk? seriously? talk about an unnecessarily ominous word." there's a roll of her eyes as caroline spoke, stepping further into the carnival lights. a step too far it seemed, as she found herself squinting slightly against the brightness and moved back a couple paces. "can i not just want to bask in the beauteousness that is my best friend?"

lips transform into a smile of relief when she realizes it's only caroline. "i don't know, can you try basking in my beauteousness outside of the creepy shadows?" drawn in by her friend's hesitation, bonnie slips closer to her nonetheless, indulgent. "what's with you? did you start drinking already?"

"If I wanted to lurk, I'd send a crow." Damon stepped out to where he was visible. He was admittedly testing her a little, seeing just how strong that intuition had gotten. If for nothing but mere curiosity on his end. "You and Emily have a lot more in common than just blood and magic, you know."

"like a profound loathing for you? you don't have to tell me what i already know." is damon walking down a permanent road to somewhere better, where the streets aren't littered with bodies, or is it all just a temporary show for elena's sake? that's still the question plaguing her every time he crawls out of the shadows. "but you're still here, so it's obviously not that much in common."

"—no, no, i'm okay. i just got stuck in my own head again." how could she not? between being kidnapped, stefan's current struggles, katherine, uncle john turning out to be biological father john, the tomb vampires being released and gram dying leading to bonnie's distance, it felt like the world was spinning at an unsustainable rate. "been a wild few weeks, huh?"

presses her lips together hard, for a second, because she knows better than to believe elena gilbert when she says her classic i'm okay. especially lately. "understatement of the year. you know we can talk about it, right? whatever you're getting stuck in your head about." then bonnie smiles, nudges the other girl with an elbow before she can veer too hard into pushy caroline friend level territory. "if you can even pick just one thing out in your chaotic list of things going on right now." and does bonnie have an entire list of her own? things she's resentful of toward many people, elena included? sure. but there's been too many near misses already, too much death; so for now, she's trying for peace.

ryan destiny

Anaïs Nin, from a diary entry featured in The Diary of Anais Nin, Vol. 3. (1923-1927)

Charmed – 2.03: The Painted World