u n t a m e d ;

I always thought better of your brother than that. Never thought I’d see him settle for someone so… bland. 

Trust me, I didn't. Maybe he has a thing for the damsels in distress, no doubt they're a rare breed in his life.

I do not have Alzheimer’s.

The saddest part about Alzheimer's in general is you don't even remember having it, may god be with you.

I'm going to murder you.

I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean.

Don't worry, I won't hold that Alzheimer's mind against you. 

"If you think I won't rip out your throat because we're in public, then boy are you optimistic."

They haven't classed themselves as an item or whatever but she hangs around a little more than I enjoy-- It's creeping me the fuck out.

"Derek’s at it again?”

"Don't."

"I came all the way out here to this pisspot because your brother wants to get it in?"

"That's going to be the first and last time I hear that come out of your mouth, asshole."

That sounded way worse than you probably meant it.

Don't start me, old man-- Besides I'm not so sure you can talk.

Tell Derek to hit me up.

Oh trust me I will-- Anything's better than that two-foot-tall, psychic strawberry short cake.