THE TERM 'HERO' IS RELATIVE

' You have some fierce competition, ' he hummed ; he had seen Alice's competitive nature up close and he really pitied any hero trying to beat her out. That guy who was really like four guys was probably top of the list for crazy, and he thought Wade probably had a few more screws loose, but everyone else was fair game to try and beat. His head tipped to do his best approximation of glancing at his friend and the man shrugged, ' but I reckon you have a chance to win top three at least. '

"i'll accept top three, i'd even accept top five. i know a lot of people wouldn't consider the top ten an achievement at all, so ya know..." she wasn't sure she was really even top ten, and that was probably a good thing. it meant she still had something to work towards or that she was a lot more well adjusted than she thought. it all depended on how one looked at it.

that was a surprising question sam brought up. she hadn't ever thought about it. she didn't love confined spaces, and while she'd been trained to get out of various bindings the idea of being in a straight jacket made her squirm. she was surprised it wasn't part of her training to get out of one, but maybe she ought to rectify that once she went back to work.

please don't tell me you work here.

admit it. you still think about me.

that was the best night of my life.

i tried finding you, tried tracking you down.

you never told me your name.

well... this is awkward.

we could go for a round two later.

could i take you out for drinks?

this cannot be happening.

there were no feelings involved.

they're asking how we know each other. what do we say?

i never thought i'd ever see you again.

did you ever tell anyone about us?

maybe we could try going on a proper date this time.

you didn't even give me a chance to talk to you the next morning.

by the time i woke up, you were gone.

you didn't even leave me your number.

i never got your name.

can we just start over and try this all again? pretend like we never met?

so... wait. we're going to be coworkers?

they're very strict about fraternization.

there is no "us." we were never anything.

i cannot mix my professional life and my personal life.

act like you don't know me.

it was just a one night stand.

we should start over.

you can't flirt with me anymore.

i should have spent the night.

can we just act like it never happened and carry on like normal?

i thought about you every night.

no, i've never met you before in my life.

i didn't have time to get involved in anyone.

i never promised i'd stay the night.

i'll admit, it was great.

so it was a night of great sex. big whoop.

they can't know we slept together, okay?

i've moved on, and so should you.

keep this between us.

did you tell anyone we hooked up?

don't give me that look.

so you do think about me.

i wish i stayed overnight.

if they find out we slept together, we're in big trouble.

of course i think about you.

you were honestly the best i've ever had

it was a mistake to hook up like that.

it was just for fun.

we never should have crossed that line.

let's just put that in the past and forget it even happened.

i have to focus on my work now and not think about you.

pretend like we just met.

will you finally give me your name?

so... what should i call you?

i'm not used to seeing you with clothes on.

you look different in daylight.

you can't flirt your way into my pants this time.

it was amazing, i'll admit, but we can't go back.

please don't tell them what happened.

to tell you the truth, i missed you.

i haven't been with anyone since.

we could try being friends.

admit it. you loved it.

please don't mess this up for me.

you've always been on my mind.

i can't believe i finally found you.

if we're going to work together, we need to put everyone aside and focus.

❝ i wouldn't find the need to tell you 'i told you so' if you weren't so allergic to admitting i'm right. ❞

❝ there are better hills to die on but i find this one quite comfortable. ❞

❝ would you come with me please? i adore your company. ❞

❝ that's not the worst thing i've ever heard but it's certainly up there. ❞

❝ i would love to help you but i'm afraid i'm suffering from a terrible case of 'it's not my problem.' ❞

❝ could you just think about anyone other than yourself for once? ❞

❝ i'm not going to stand here and argue with you about how much you need to get some rest. if i find you passed out on the floor i'm leaving you there. ❞

❝ would you be a dear and shut the hell up. ❞

❝ i know i need help but i'm not quite ready to ask for it. ❞

❝ do you know where we're going or are we just trying to get lost now? ❞

❝ i have confided this in you, please do not betray that trust. ❞

❝ do you like it here? with me? ❞

❝ are you still happy? with me, i mean. with us. ❞

❝ i didn't lie, i simply presented a selective truth. ❞

❝ do you actually like spending time with me? because i feel like all you do is argue. ❞

❝ one of us will eventually have to have the strength to be honest with ourselves about each other. ❞

❝ i want to tell you something i just need a moment to figure out the right words. ❞

❝ if you were the religious type i would challenge god to win your devotion. ❞

❝ don't tell me to quit being melodramatic it's the only time i have any fun. ❞

my eyes!

pull up your pants, [name]. we're going home.

did you see my underwear? did you want to?

i love being purple.

his chops are too righteous.

you don't need a license to drive a sandwich.

it's some kind of wall of psychic energy.

you two dipsticks wouldn't last ten seconds over the county line.

we paid nine dollars for this?

who turned on the ac?

i suppose i can't execute you.

that's it! i'm through with messing around!

are men afraid of anything?

hey, you know, i actually feel a little better.

i don't even remember why i was sad.

wow, the pressure is already setting in.

your life is in our hands.

hey, look! free ice cream!

i'm making a complete what of myself?

wait, how did you know my name?

eww, i think i stepped in something.

you know, david hasselhoff was a great artist.

stalling? i'm not stalling anything.

are they laughing at us?

don't worry. this'll only hurt a lot.

after going on your life-changing journey, you now realize that you don't want what you thought you wanted. what you really wanted was inside you all along.

are you crazy?

i was just going to say that your fly is down.

this is the greatest day of my life!

i haven't felt this giddy since the day you agreed to be my wife.

lord knows i've tried.

all bubble blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied patron in the bar.

i'm supposed to get a toy with this.

i am 100% man!

there. i think i made my point.

you said it yourself, this is man's country. and let's face it. we're just kids.

we don't belong out here.

we do not worship him!

oh... it's evil. it's diabolical. it's lemon-scented!

i got you right where i want you.

can i help you with something?

i've been hired to exterminate you.

you caught me and my friend here in a good mood today, so i'm gonna let you off with a warning.

they were fake?

of course they were fake!

uh, perhaps i've said too much.

that's a big boot.

hold on there, baldy.

oh, grow up. what, you think this is a game of kickball on the playground?

you never had a chance to defeat me!

i'm an evil genius. and you're just a kid.

i guess you're right.

you know, i've been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty seven and a half seconds.

if i've learned anything during that time, it's that you are who you are.

that's great. now get back against the wall.

i did what everyone said a kid couldn't do!

all right, we get the point!

okay, settle down. take it easy.

too bad [name] isn't here to enjoy [name] not being here.

i couldn't agree more.

[ MSG: alice ] you could say i was, but not anymore. why?

swinging his feet off of the couch and propping himself up, jake raked a hand through unkempt hair before firing off another text. anticipating he might be leaving the house soon enough, he shifted locations to his room for a bit to freshen up and find a more presentable outfit.

she lifted her phone and was about to reply when the bubbles popped up again. the second reply was much more satisfactory. alice smiled and sent back:

[ MSG : jake ] that i am