The Safe Haven

This will pass.

You have survived this before, you will survive again.

These are just feelings, they will go away

This won’t last forever.

I can feel bad and still choose to take a new and healthy direction.

I feel this way because of my past experiences, but I am safe right now.

My mind is not always my mind.

Thoughts are just thoughts - they’re not necessarily true or factual

This is difficult and uncomfortable, but it’s only temporary.

I can use my coping skills and get through this

Stop, and breathe, I can do this

Keep calm and carry on

Remind yourself that:

1. This is not the end. You are going to survive. There’s no point in pretending that life is always great. Sometimes we trip and fall, or we make terrible mistakes. Allow yourself to heal, then get up and start again. Take one or two small steps … and know you’re going to survive!

2. Everybody makes mistakes along the way. You’re only a failure if you give up and don’t try. Accept that you are human … and move on with your life.

3. Positive thinking leads to positive results. If you think you can succeed then there’s a good chance that you will. The mind is very powerful – we create what we believe.

4. Success is closer than you think when you are down. Mistakes can be our teachers; they don’t mean all is lost. In fact, you’re one step closer to getting what you want.

5. You are not your mistakes. Don’t fall into the trap of defining who you are by different things you do – or by your failures and mistakes.

6. There are very few mistakes which are truly devastating. Mistakes are merely setbacks – a few clouds in the sky. Get up, keep pushing forwards and move towards your dreams.

7. A failure is sometimes a blessing in disguise. Not getting what you want can sometimes be a stroke of luck. It makes you reconsider and try some different things … And these can often lead to better opportunities.

If you see someone without noticeable aid get park in a disabled spot, but has the disabled badge visible

If you see someone receiving extra support in school, or extra time in exams

If you see someone receiving something that will help make things more accessible for them

If you see someone wearing something “different” for sensory reasons

Do not yell at them

Do not tell them they don’t need it

Do not tell them “real disabled people will need it”

I want to send a hug to everyone who feels like they’re out and in the closet at the same time. 

It sounds like a contradiction but there are a lot of situations that may lead to those confusing feelings: 

Maybe you never really had “the big talk” with your parents but you don’t exactly hide your identity, either - and by now it feels wrong to dramatically come out to them because they probably already know but it also feels wrong to never talk about it. 

Or maybe you did come out to them but they just shrugged it off and you have no idea if that’s because they’re cool with it or if they hope it will go away if they never mention it again. 

You could feel this way, too, if you are out to some people in your life and not out to others (for example, you’re out at home but not at school, or your friends know but not your family). You may feel like you’re living a “double life” and constanly have to adjust your behavior, censor yourself - depending on who you are with and who might listen. 

It can really sap your energy. It takes a lot of strength to deal with these kinds of insecurity, not really knowing where you stand. 

It can even make it hard to relate to other lgbt+ people - our community seems to be neatly divided in “in the closet” and “out and proud”, you may feel out of place in both of those groups. 

Please know that it’s not your fault and you are not doing it wrong. Life is not as clear cut as movies often portray it. There’s a lot of grey inbetween “out” and “closet” - and there are lots of people living in the grey! 

With all my love, 

You are not dirty for being sexual.

Masturbation is great.

You are not sinning because you thought a sexual thought.

You are human, and that’s beautiful.

Consensual sex is beautiful.

Polyamorous sex is beautiful.

Gay sex is beautiful.

Safe BDSM is beautiful.

Straight sex is beautiful.

Your identity is beautiful.