black coffee and acetaminophen

LEVI: Luckily I forgot my wallet when I stormed out of my room so I can't buy it anyway.]

LEVI: But thanks. I definitely would have regretted that.

LEVI: Apparently my brother and I have similar taste in more than just men.

LEVI: I appreciate it, but I think I need to be alone for a bit. I'm meeting up with my boyfriend on Melrose & getting out of the city. Thanks, though.

BURN: So now would be a bad time to tell you that you can put your credit card on your phone?

BURN: Any time you need to be talked out of bad clothing decisions, I'm your girl

BURN: I blame your parents, I've seen how they both dressed in high school.

LEVI: So

LEVI: I don't think I've ever been this mad before & I'm about to buy this (extremely expensive) shirt to cheer myself up:

LEVI: [truly_hideous_shirt.jpg}

LEVI: Talk me off the ledge before I charge this to my credit card please

BURN: Oh my god don't do it

BURN: Like be pissed at Cam or whatever, but don't let his bad style rub off on you out of anger.

MILES: I’m excited for you

CLARA: Hey. I know you probably have a million better things to do with your time, but might you be willing to accompany me to Jimmy Kimmel tonight?

CLARA: These press appearances always make me nervous, and I could use your expertise.

BURNIE: I'm not sure I'm the best person for that, but I'd love to go with you!

MILES: oooh, exciting

MILES: i think

CAM: Go on then??

CAM: Some people think the hat is cute, actually.

HEP: Nah, not interested. My career already gets compared to my dads way too fucking much.

MILES: I appreciate the help :P

MILES: so did u buy a new outfit for tonight?

MILES: precisely my thinking, burnsie

MILES: will do dont worry

MILES: i know how to be polite

MILES: i'm poor but i'm not a neanderthal :P

MILES: Wow

MILES: maybe i’ll do it

MILES: butt naked like ‘hi mr anderson, good to meet you i’m miles mccarthy. dont mind my nakedness, i dont own a suit’

BURNIE: You do own a suit, it's the one you were born with.

MILES: I don’t need a suit anyway. I’ll impress Mr Anderson with my charming smile and killer wit

BURNIE: True.

MILES: like fuck I did

MILES: i can’t afford a suit

MILES: I’m wearing my jeans with the least holes in and a shirt

CAM: Pls as if Broadway would want you.

CAM: Chill about the hat already. It's not on your head, you don't have to think about it.

HEP: I have multiple top 40s hits, not including the songs I've written for other artists, and my papa has won grammys. I could write the next fucking Waitress if I wanted to.

Clara looked up, surprised, at the sound of Hepburn’s voice. After the group had gotten back from Cooper’s house, Clara quickly made a bee-line for the hot tub, hoping to have a few minutes to think. Between her press interviews and the recent discovery of Cam and Miles, this trip was a lot less relaxing than she had hoped it would be. “Thanks, Hepburn,” Clara said with a gracious smile, accepting the glass of wine. “I know, they are… not at all similar.” Clara may not have seen Hepburn’s dads for a while, but she remembered them fondly. “Did you enjoy yourself? Is this trip all you hoped it would be?”

“No problem.” She smiled back before reaching behind her and taking a sip of her beer. “Yeah, the trip has been good so far. Really exercised my credit card earlier with all that shopping we did, and the amusement park is going to be fun. Plus a high-profile vacation with all of you is going to help me get ready for my own press tour when we get home.” Hepburn’s life in the spotlight was very different from how she lived in the day-to-day. She was known for slaying red carpets, and having a glamorous life, and she played up a lot of that for the public. But in reality, she tried to blend in and not be noticed so much. She had to play a caricature of herself in order to deal with the fame, and this week in LA really allowed her to get back into that mold while still having a good time. “What about you?”

CAM: 😬😬😬😬😬

CAM: What is WRONG with people

CAM: Also woulda been hella wild if my mom HAD been your mom.

CAM: God the internet paints me as a slut when I am really such a good boy. :(

HEP: Makes me feel like I have my life together because I'm not shipping people who might be siblings

HEP: If I was biologically a Hummelberry kid my life would have probably turned out differently. I think my genetics would possess me to try a Broadway career. Yuck.

CAM: Thanks! I hate it.

CAM: We came out of the same place!!!

CAM: God all of Ivy's fans think I'm dating her too :\\

CAM: Plus people still make sad fanvids of me and Clara.

CAM: Am I the group slut??

HEP: I know!!! And a lot of people assume that your mom is my biological mom so like, double ew.

HEP: I can only hope it's the fans who either know my biological mom is Quinn, or who don't realize your mom was pregnant with me.

HEP: What the fuck is wrong with people?

HEP: A fan stopped me at one of the stores today and asked if you and me are dating?

HEP: Did you know people ship us?