Whatever It Takes

As bad as he felt, all it took was one glance at Levi to realise that he felt worse. His frustration faded in a second, taking in his brother’s pale, anxious face and letting out a sigh. He was furious with Levi. Angry, disappointed, and even hurt. But Levi was hurting, too, and Cam knew that Levi needed him. Getting up, he looked at Levi for a moment before shaking his head, stepping forward and pulling his brother in for a hug. “You’re a fucking idiot,” he muttered, turning to press a kiss to Levi’s head. “But we’re gunna fix it. That’s what we do. That’s what I do.” He’d been too young to really process when Hannah was born, but it was when Levi arrived that Cameron started to really feel the responsibility of being a big brother. His father had been the eldest of his siblings and had always reminded him of the duty he had towards his brother and sister, the care he had to show for them. It was his job to look after them. He had to be the one to help make things better. Arms still around Levi, one hand on the back of his head, Cam pulled back a little to look at him. “It’s gunna be fine.” He held Levi’s gaze, as strong and certain as he could be. “I promise you.”

The instant Cam met his eyes, Levi broke down. His face scrunched up, his throat tightened, and tears poured from his eyes. He stood there, silently sobbing, until Cam wrapped his arms around him and he broke down. Cam was the love of his life; Levi knew that. He had been his best friend since day one and the only other person he trusted with his secrets. “I’m sorry, Cameron, I’m so sorry!” he blurted out in between gasps for air. He had let his emotions get the better of him yesterday and didn’t think of the consequences. Normally, he would’ve turned to Cam but the two weren’t speaking ever since he walked in on him and Miles. “Thank you. I love you so much, Cam. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He hugged him back tighter, and allowed himself a few more sobs before pulling himself back together. Feeling Cam’s hand on the back of his head & the subsequent kiss that followed helped calm him down. “Y’know, the last time I was this scared was that camping trip we took with dad, do you remember? We were hiking to the spot and I tripped over a tree branch & twisted my ankle. Dad carried me the rest of the way and you...you comforted me the whole way there.”

So much had happened in the last forty-eight hours. Not long ago, it had seemed like the end of the world to have Clara and Levi mad at him, and a revolution to finally share his relationship with Miles with their friends. But then Levi – his stupid baby brother – had done something so unbelievably moronic that all other drama was eclipsed. Rather than begging his brother for forgiveness, Cam had spent the evening comforting his mom on the phone, trying to reassure her that they’d fix everything while his dad stormed around trying to get in contact with the divorce lawyer Uncle Kurt had once consulted. Cam’s night had been sleepless, and now he was sat out on the deck, struggling to enjoy the LA sunshine even as their trip drew to a close.

Hearing footsteps, Cam didn’t need to look around to know it was Levi, shifting his gaze from the view over to the rippling water of the pool. “I don’t even know if I can look at you right now.” @levi-st-james​

Levi was exhausted. The amount of drama he endured in the last day had drained him emotionally, and soured what was remaining in their trip. All he wanted to do right now was talk things through with his big brother - the person he trusted most in the world. As he locked his phone and placed it in his pocket, Levi stood up from his bed and walked toward the mirror. Looking at himself, he could feel a tightening in his throat and tears welling up in his eyes. With a deep breath, he choked back his tears and fixed his hair, noticing the new addition to his reflection on his left ring finger. He looked at it and then himself, memories of last night flooding back. “What have I done?” he thought. Not only was he upset with himself for what he did, but was upset about why he did it & the one person he would turn to in this situation had been ignoring him all morning. So, he gave himself a once-over and left his room to head out to the deck to see Cam. His heart was beating fast and he felt himself begin to sweat at facing Cam & hearing what he was going to say. Levi pulled the sliding door open and walked toward his brother. “I know. I can barely look at myself, too. I don’t blame you if you never want to see me again.” His voice was shaky as he looked at his brother. “Just...talk to me, please? I want my brother back, and I feel like I don’t have one anymore.”

CAM: It really worries me that you don't seem to understand what you've done.

CAM: I'm out on the deck.

LEVI: I do, though. Please let me explain.

LEVI: I need my brother.

CAM: I think we're a little bit past you being mad at me, Levi Oliver St. James.

LEVI: Yikes! Full name.

LEVI: Guess I really fucked up, didn't I?

LEVI: I'm sorry. Let's talk face to face.

LEVI: Hey.

LEVI: Can we talk?

LEVI: [...]

Zeke liked New York. LA was a little too shiny for him to feel like he fit in. At least New York had a gritty underbelly that he felt like he could get lost in. Still, coming home and seeing his mom and dad had been nice. And now he was in Cooper Anderson’s house, trying his hardest not to pilfer some of the man’s belongings for himself. He turned to the person next to him, tilting his head consideringly as he eyed up their host. “Cooper’s single, yeah? Would Micah and Saskia kill me if I tried to hit that?”

Levi nearly choked on his drink when Zeke asked his question. “I...yeah I think that’s a safe bet. I mean...I know we’re all thinking it, but you should definitely be the one to act on it.”

“This trip was such a good idea,” Saskia said, somehow even louder and more enthusiastic than usual.  She took a sip of her wine, curled up on her dad’s couch after the dinner they’d had, and then set her glass down to throw her arms in the air. “Sunny California, daddy, finally seeing a real blue sky,  In-N-Out, Disneyland, actually good tacos… I’m going to cry on the plane back to New York. I can feel it.”

“Don’t sound too excited, Saskia. People might think you hate New York or something.” 

ZEKE: do not be ashamed. i want him to come to life and choke me to death.

ZEKE: i literally said i'm waiting for you st. james.

ZEKE: the minute ur solo this is all yours.

LEVI: honestly: same

LEVI: and i'm not even into choking.

ZEKE: take your time.

ZEKE: yeah. bad-dragon.com is my home now.

ZEKE: thanks. it's like... they drew him hot i dont know what they expected.

ZEKE: atta boy. excellent.

LEVI: confession: i've had a crush on flynn ryder for years and im not ashamed

ZEKE: i don't! he did but he was so hot so i dealt with it. i was only on the forum bc i was trying to find out where to get a tentacle dildo. not a furry. will defend furries though. they're sweet little weirdos.

ZEKE: though adult kovu from the lion king 2 is hot and that's on disney not me.

ZEKE: yeah. gotta compare. for science.

LEVI: wow there's so much in that sentence im still trying to discect.

LEVI: a tentacle dildo? really?

LEVI: I can't argue with you there

ZEKE: brilliant. show-stopping. genius.

ZEKE: WELL. in that case. you know where to find me if it does.

ZEKE: yikes well... can't relate to that! i try to tell marci about ONE roleplay i did with this guy i met on a furry forum and she looked like i'd mortally wounded her or something

ZEKE: well. there's really only one way to confirm that.

LEVI: thank you. i'll accept my award anytime.

LEVI: ;)

LEVI: damn zeke i never pictured you as having a furry fetish. maybe keep that to yourself.

↳ INSTAGRAM: @levistjames uploaded a new photo

happily ever after <3 @maxbrandon 

ZEKE: we need to get him into the pool more. otherwise that shirt stays firmly on. it sucks.

ZEKE: huh? interesting. i'm compelled, actually. but didn't you have a secret beau or something? i will do many things but being complicit in cheating is not one of them.

ZEKE: you don't need to talk about it. it'll just be one of those things that hangs in the air unspoken. i promise i won't rank you.

ZEKE: good. i have a reputation to uphold.

LEVI: hmmm maybe i can propose a guys-only skinny dip?

LEVI: i did but...i'm not sure if it'll last. perhaps if things fall through, maybe i can make that fantasy a reality.

LEVI: yeah, we're not really that kind of family. we tell each other everything; well, up until recently.

HANNAH: Are you ok?

HANNAH: Your messages in the group chat are a bit...out of character.

HANNAH: Where did you go, anyway? I know walking in on Cam and Miles would have traumatised you, but I just want to make sure you're safe.

LEVI: Hans im fineee

LEVI: the only 1 out of caractr is cameron

ZEKE: it's boooooooring.

ZEKE: thanks. i'm an archive of information.

ZEKE: oh. huh. that's a really good idea actually. dunno why i didn't consider it. wow i guess i also have one brain cell.

ZEKE: if i get you and then also get hannah, is that a bingo? also will you and cam murder me?

ZEKE: UH no that implies i'm not boning on the regular and that's blatantly untrue

LEVI: Eh, it'd be worth it for the eye candy alone ;)

LEVI: All you have to do is name the time and the place, Evans & I'm yours.

LEVI: Uh...i guess? though...it'd definitely be weird to be eskimo siblings with my actual siblings.

ZEKE: i mean i've tried. he's like a brick wall.

ZEKE: I KNOW. smh. they have a combined one brain cell between the two of them. and that's coming from me.

ZEKE: "enemy" pshh i swear they've had sexual tension forever

ZEKE: i'm just mad i've been trying to talk them into a threesome since 2017 and they've blatantly ignored me because they "hate" each other

ZEKE: and yet here they are

ZEKE: my dick's feelings are hurt

LEVI: yeah, he definitely seems like the type that'd be pretty straight-forward.

LEVI: FACTS.

LEVI: yeah, i don't really wanna think of my brother having sex so, i'll take your word for it.

LEVI: dude everyone knows this. i'm just mad you never threw me into the mix once cam said no. 🤷🏻‍♂️