splinters all the way down.

you’ve heard some stuff about DIRK. nothing substantial, but enough to make you intrigued in him. you’re good friends with dave, after all. why not make friends with the whole STRIDER FAMILY?

of course, it’s by a stroke of good luck that you’ve encountered him at a BOOK STORE. you were looking for some FUN, CLASSICAL, HORSE-CENTRIC ADVENTURES, and it seems your acquaintance and hopefully soon-to-be-friend was looking for the same thing.

TAVROS: hEYYY, dIRK, TAVROS: uH, i’M TAVROS, TAVROS: yOU MAY NOT KNOW ME, bUT, TAVROS: i KNOW SOMEWHAT OF YOU, TAVROS: }:)

dirk isn’t used to having company when he’s perusing novels about ponies. isolation hasn’t made him an expert in social interaction, but he’s fairly sure this is a hobby people would give him shit for.

then again, do weird astrology-themed trolls count as people? (dirk doesn’t really want to get into the philosophical humanity debate again.)

dirk shoves the novel back into the shelf he found it in and gives tavros a shameless once-over.

TT: Uh. Hey, Tavros. How are you, bro?

TT: I’ve heard of you. You’re friends with the murder juggalo, right? Lots of stories about that one.

dave so desperately wants to have some semblance of a normal, brotherly relationship with dirk. he lets himself indulge in the ideal just as much as he clamps down on it before it becomes fully formed and inescapable. he wants to have the relationship he always thought he could reach with bro with dirk; to just fuck around and be a kid and not have to look over his shoulder all the goddamn time and –––

well, dave just wants what he doesn’t quite think he deserves.

⚙ – maybe its time you rocked a ridiculously awesome pair of heart shaped fashion sunglasses ⚙ – reckon you could pick up some fine piece of ass wearing that alone

it is instinctual, to take off his glasses when dirk does. just like when bro always called a time out – a cool kid gentlemen’s pact – dave hangs his glasses on the collar of his shirt. it feels weird to see dirk like this, and strange, and something else dave can’t quite put his finger on.

⚙ – yeah alright ⚙ – ive backlogged a shitton of comics too if you wanna like ⚙ – i dont fuckin know ⚙ – beta read them ⚙ – boost my planet of an ego ⚙ – theres not really much to do here except hang out with the shit for brains crows that like to hang around ⚙ – im thinking of starting a gang with them ⚙ – i offer protection in exchange for snatching the dregs out of the hands of unsuspecting strangers i reckon itll work out really well

TT: I don’t think I should rock the hearts, thank you very much.

TT: I’ve had enough of Heart for a fuckin’ lifetime.

the joke’s kind of funny. he’s ready to chuckle, but instead, dirk dry swallows. he’s not used to the sight of his bro’s eyes, and though he’s making the darndest fucking effort to separate this dave from his bro, it’s... hard. he averts his gaze, scratches the back of his neck gingerly.

the mention of dave’s comics makes him perk up a little, though. he tries to keep his fanboying on check and controlled at all times, but some things you just can’t turn down. dirk’s such a goddamn fan of the entire sweet bro and hella jeff franchise, and he’s watched all the movies and — okay, he one hundred percent needs to pipe the fuck down.

TT: You can tell me all about the crows later, bro. Can’t say I’ve had too many of those around in Burst Pipe, TX.

TT: I’d love to. Beta reading the comics, I mean.

TT: Not that I’d want to interfere with the artistic flair of the one and only Dave Strider.

pretty desolate out here and from what bb8 has gathered, no signs of a crash or anything that might signify one hell of a landing from pulling another one of his crazy fleet defying stunts. just about finished digging through the only pile of scraps and washed up metal left, back turned to his small astromech suddenly blaring with a mess of alert filled beeps. yeah, he knows buddy. he knows. nothing here either. no power on the island leaves the whole place a round slab of too damn dark or else he’d definitely save his scavenge race for later but then there’s the creeps who pride themselves on getting their bumps in the night.

met one already but that guy was a lot better than most others he’s had the displeasure of flying halfway across the galaxy on some urgent mission another and of course - had to be a chance meeting. still hunched over, plucking something from what seemed to be nothing before finally making his way back over to the droid before his immediate awareness is drawn to the only other person he’s ran into all day. yeah, human friend incoming.

“jeez, real happy there bb. huh? oh i get it, you’re the one who’s got my droid all worked up. if you came here looking for parts forget it. already been had. got a thing for droids back home, or?”

dirk startles, raising his hands up in a placating gesture despite the fact this man doesn’t look bad-intentioned at all, a reflex of his rather poor social skills. growing up surrounded by nobody but drones trying to kill him did leave that everlasting fear that everyone who speaks to him is a threat.

TT: I... Wasn’t looking for anything in particular, really. Just wandering around. Sorry if I bothered you. Or it. Him.

a half-lie. he surely didn’t expect to find anything specific amidst the ruins, but he did hope, deep down, to acquire kind of tool he could use to understand what the hell’s going on. instead, he’s struck... gold? with a cute droid and its apparently friendly owner. he shrugs at the question.

TT: I guess you could say that, yeah. I used to have a couple bots back home. And a proper intelligent thing, but I didn’t trust him enough to give him his own body.

the thought of hal makes him dry swallow. didn’t trust him enough to give his own body, but surely did trust him with orchestrating every single action of dirk’s, to the point being brought to the island without hal disoriented him to no end. more fondly, he remembers sawtooth and squarewave. god, he really should rebuild the two robots, shouldn’t he? but then again, he doesn’t think they’d be the same. and he doesn’t have the resources, anyway.

dirk shakes his head, waves those thoughts away.

one word writing prompts — random, 3x. i actually asked a friend for three random numbers so i wouldn’t be biased. i’m giving you three headcanons!

heartbeat— the first time dirk actually hugs someone in real life, namely one jake english, he’s… very startled by how he can feel his heartbeat. it’s so strange to actually embrace someone who isn’t made of metal and synthetic fiber. he quickly develops a liking to it, though; chances are, if he’s comfortable enough being vulnerable around someone, he’ll enjoy lying with his head against their chest, silently listening to that small reassurance that he’s no longer alone.

oppression— dirk often spends his days fighting imperial drones, the robotic versions the condesce’s scattered around the wasteland she’s conquered. if there’s anything that keeps him going, even when his grip on his katana falters and everything seems like it might go to waste, it’s the thought of his bro. he thinks of eccentric director dave strider’s mysterious last stand, of his ridiculous deep-embedded messages of resistance; and the condesce’s grip on him, on roxy, feels like it won’t last that long.

one word writing prompts— lucky.

dirk’s fucking exhausted.

days upon days of hearing nothing but the ocean’s steady crashing and the clicks of his frantic typing. the auto-responder’s a huge help, sure, but he’s tired of scourging the internet for some sign, any sign that someone else is out there, maybe waiting for him to contact them, maybe actively looking for him like he’s doing right now.

– tactfulGnostalgic [TG] started pestering timaeusTestified [TT]! –

he sighs, wipes off the moisture gathering in his eyes, the tears he tells himself are because of his monitor’s bright light. probably another spam bot.

if you were to pick one song — and only one song — to describe your character, what would it be and why? — regret by everything everything!

i think this song is wildly self-explanatory, really. first of all, regret is basically the underlying theme of everything dirk does. also, these lyrics:

maybe i’m a humanthe trying to click undo manor maybe an automatonoh how’d it all go so wrong?

dirk’s conundrum with humanity and feeling closer to a machine is a pretty fun one to explore, and i think this song does a bang-up job of conveying that.

if they had a choice, would they prefer a subway or a bus for public transportation?— answered here!

dirk’s seen a lot in the last few days in radiale. mostly ruins and broken circuits that remind him of how much he’d love to have some kind of reliable power source, but.

this is the first he’s seen an actual, moving robot of any sort. he misses tinkering with his own machines, misses messing ‘round with squarewave just for shits and giggles, misses updating sawtooth’s hardware so he’d be sturdier, a better fighter who could stand up to the condesce’s annihilation efforts.

he kneels next to the (absurdly adorable, he can admit it) ball-shaped droid, almost stretches his hand out to caress its half-spherical head but thinks better of it. he smiles at the robot. does it even know how to interpret body language? god, dirk’s got no idea, and yet he feels like he’s talking to a human baby, all high-pitched voice and careful movements.

TT: Hey there, li’l dude.

TT: Can’t believe I’ve never seen you around. Are you here on your own? You look really well cared for, though. Do you have a, um, human friend here?

mostly, it depends on whether one thinks mindlessly accepting and executing orders from their clone qualifies as working solo. 

how does your character perceive themselves? positive? negative? neutral?— as absolutely negative as can be. dirk… thinks he’s the scum of the earth, essentially. and he has done some awful things, but he’s used to assuming minor mistakes on his part, things that any teenager is prone to doing, are some heavenly sign that he’s impossible to love.

are they a quick thinker or do they need time to sort through their thoughts?— it depends. he’s good under pressure, mostly because of the auto-responder’s influence, to be honest. but if he wants to actually delve deep into topics and debate more multifaceted subjects, he’ll need some time to sort himself out, especially because it’s hard to make yourself understood when your thought processes are as scattered as dirk’s. 

what position does your character sleep in? (i.e; stomach, side, back, etc.) describe why they do this — dirk sleeps on his side! he’s used to cuddling a puppet to sleep, though he’d never confess to it. even without actually holding on to anything, he’s just a creature of habit. 

he knows doing so ruins his back without the proper pillow placement, but he’s also not exactly known for his good self-care, so that’s something he ignores entirely.

if they had a choice, would they prefer a subway or a bus for public transportation?— subway. the mere idea of public transport and standing in the middle of a bunch of people irks him out, and the faster he can get it done…

also, something about the underground makes him feel a little more at ease.

describe 5 unusual characteristics your muse has — at 6′3, dirk’s definitely on the taller side. it does make him look gangly as hell, and he hates it, but…

he’s also very pale, and people have been mildly scared by and for him in the past! he’s not as awfully unhealthy as his skin suggests, though. surprisingly, dirk’s not as prone to sunburn as one’d expect! no redness at all, though his freckles do pop out a lot if he doesn’t cover up. sunscreen isn’t even something he considers, in all fairness.

dirk’s also very much in his element when he’s in the water. having grown up surrounded by ocean and more ocean as far as the eye can see, he can probably match actually trained swimmers; he can last ridiculously long underwater, which makes it easier for him to explore around if he wants to.

he’s got a flat affect, too. this means he can be happy or sad, but it’s extremely hard for him to show it unless he’s pushed to the brink. sometimes, he’ll be absolutely ecstatic but look stoic as always. it’s good for poker, not so much for building healthy relationships.

ha, but that’s the thing –– who else is dave going to feel entirely comfortable around, if not for an alternate version of his fucked up bro ? he’s sure freud would have a lot to say on the situation, but quite frankly, dave doesn’t care. what he does care about is dirk, and his friends, and karkat, and the mayor, and his crow who’s yet to be.

⚙ – oh ⚙ – i mean that could have something to do with the fact that were stuck in this weirdass place without half of our friends and my turntables but ⚙ – yeah

⚙ – i guess its just like ⚙ – i dont know ⚙ – awkward ⚙ – i thought i was done with it but a lot of the time it feels like i was really fuckin wrong about that especially in this place where youre like ⚙ – the only one from our timeline ⚙ – so everyones got their own issues with their fucking mortality and keep being surprised that im still alive which to be honest is fair on their part i dont know how im still alive either my diet is off the charts ⚙ – but then again who cares why im like this i just want to fuckin like ⚙ – relax or some shit

dirk chides himself for the billionth time — he really has absolutely no concept of tact. just go ahead and make your... brother, his mind supplies, uncomfortable for the sake of your masturbatory self-flagellating. that sure helps you pretend you’re working at becoming a better person, doesn’t it?

he sighs, runs a hand through his hair.

TT: Yeah, I feel you. Not having my actual shades is god awful. These bootlegs are basically useless.

maybe this is a chance to make dave more at ease. hopefully, at least. dirk tugs away the sunglasses with both hands, folds them and tucks them away in his jeans’ back pocket.

he tries his hand at a smile and ends up maybe-creepily grinning at dave, though the crease between his eyebrows betrays the concern settling behind his façade. whatever. it was an attempt.

TT: Relax. Roger that.

PLOTTING / RELATIONSHIPS CALL.

have you always wanted to befriend a messy, robot-loving kid with no social skills whatsoever? you’re in luck! for the low price of being one of the first people to interact with him in real life, dirk will panic slightly then talk to you and pretend he’s got his shit together. everything after that is fair game. keep on reading for more info! ♥