Henlíe

Shake it off, write it down. Put on some music, any music, music that you like even if no one else likes it, this is about you. Sad, happy, loud, soft, popular, unknown, listen to the lyrics, sing them, lose yourself in them. Stay away from things that trigger you, get off facebook and any social media, stop looking and comparing yourself with others. Crawl into bed, hide yourself under the blankets, give yourself a moment to just be. Close the curtains, don’t feel forced to be social if you want to be alone. Don’t take this moment away from yourself. Eat a piece of fruit, drink some water, just do it, hydrate. Eat some comfort food, but try to keep it healthy. You are what you eat and this body of yours is so beautiful, take care of it. Shower, wash your hair, feel clean. Put on lotion, take care of yourself. Look into the mirror, and for once don’t look at those features you perceive as imperfections. Look at your eyes and see them for the miracle they are: you can see with them. Do you know how incredibly complex your ears are? Your nose, and how it catches molecules to smell them? Your mouth, and all the tastes, so many of them. Your skin, how it protects you against so much, this soft armour. Look at your hands, your hands, think about all the things you have done with them, all the things you have touched, held, reached for. How faithfully they have served you all these years. If you have anyone you trust enough to tell them what is going on in your head, no matter how scary it is, go for it. But do not mistake this for an obligation. Only if you want to, only if you are ready. Find things that make you laugh: google a feel better list of kitties pretending to be liquids, snapchats of crazy dogs, what if animals could text. Read a book, a story, watch an episode (or two) of your favourite show, live the life of someone else. Write about your dreams, your fantasies, and if you really don’t believe you deserve the world, write as if you were someone else until you feel like you do. Be here, in the space and moment. Focus on what you are touching and doing, eating or drinking or just your saliva, what you are hearing. For one second, don’t think of the past or future. Just be. Give yourself time. Today it is okay to not be okay. Today I’m going to sleep and be unproductive and cry a little. And tomorrow? Tomorrow is another day. And no matter how scary or dark it seems, it is and always will be a blank slate. A new beginning. A new chance.

Self care isn’t always pretty , it’s not always candles and a bathtub full of roses , sometimes it’s forcing yourself to get out of bed and dragging yourself , sometimes it’s the pep talk you give to yourself or the quick cry in the corner . sometimes it is convincing yourself to do all these things you should be doing but you have no will whatsoever , sometimes it’s cutting some ties no matter how precious they were , sometimes it’s the bitter medicine you need to give yourself . Self care isn’t always pretty but it’s so worth it .

Things You Don't Comment On:

Dear self, I am so sorry for hating you for so many years For letting other people define my self-worth instead of just believing in myself I’m sorry for putting you through so much pain I never meant to hurt you so much I’m sorry for not seeing how beautiful you truly are For letting those hurtful things people would say to me get to me I’m sorry for being so hard on you for so many years I should have been gentle with you and took care of you You needed me and I let you down for years I never meant to let you down for so many years I’m sorry for letting my insecurities get the best of me But here’s to the nights I spent crying in my bedroom in pain Here’s to the trials and tribulations I’ve gone through Here’s to the days I spent questioning my own existence I deserve to love myself and have self confidence My body and soul deserve to be loved So here’s to my body and soul Here’s to the next chapters in my life Finally learning to love myself with my flaws and imperfections I owe you an apology for hating you for so long So here is my sincere apologies. - Love, Me

“ten pieces of advice to give yourself”

10 Advices for myself : 1. Be kind. But not too kind. 2. If you feel you’ve been hurt, you’re hurt. Period. No one else is allowed to tell you how much you’re allowed to hurt. 3. Make the blame. But also take the blame. 4. People are gonna call you, “Crazy” and “Weird” and “Mad” for doing your own thing. Take the compliment. 5. Everyone’s first priority is their own selves. So put yourself first no matter what. 6. If you like that notebook, buy it. So what if you have more than enough empty pages back home? More the merrier. 7. Write. Draw. Sing. Dance. Act. Cry. Laugh. Curse. Do whatever the fuck you want. So long as it doesn’t affect them, no one has the right to complain against it. 8. The world is full of hypocrites. You may even find one in the mirror at times. But it’s alright. 9. Whatever you do, don’t put reins on your dreams. Dreams are the only highways with an infinite horizon that holds the impossible. 10. Laugh. Keep laughing. Happy is your best look.