GET YOUR HEMPS WORTH

the met gala is on monday so I’m reintroducing the idea that the crowd should get to decide whether or not a celebrity followed the theme & if the popular vote is no they get a bucket of nickelodeon green slime poured over their head

Tag yourself

Cats never understand that you're helping them get their claws unstuck from fabric. They're just like "you're tormenting me at the worst possible time I hate you"

I had a Terry's Chocolate Orange once in an airport 10 years ago (they’re very hard to come by in the US, I’ve never seen them sold anywhere else) and I think about it everyday.

So what you’re saying in the replies is that they are sold everywhere and they’re just hiding them from me every time I enter a store.

So what you’re saying is some sort of evil sorcerer put a curse on me to make Terry’s chocolate oranges totally invisible to me.

My mother just told me she bought me a chocolate orange one year for Christmas and put it in my stocking over the fireplace and it MELTED BEFORE I COULD EAT IT. I’m starting to think there is an actual curse on me and this is no longer a joke.

points made but the sunset is more beautiful when you have a monster cock

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection 

Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2022, commenting on this post from 2016. There’s been a lot of people on this site lately being like “oooh no don’t make viral uwu I’m so pathetic, little, and defenseless and my poor notifications can’t handle 10k reblogs” well first of all ALL of us are pathetic, little, and defenseless and secondly none of our notifications can handle 10k reblogs and thirdly I’m not a coward and I think this should have a million notes. Not because of its own merit as a post, I just think it’d be funny if when I turn 30 this year and I reflect on the greatest accomplishments of my life thus far, I have to at least consider putting “famous tumblr popcorn post” on the list