winchester.

independent,  mutually  exclusive,  and  low  activity  D.EAN  W.INCHESTER   by  jordan.    26,   they/them.   10+  years  of  experience.   previous  blogs  include  but  are  not  limited  to:  unsolvedcase,  mschiefed,  mlkvchs,  vridity,  murderache,  ripperache

lingering touch

you are home. you are the feeling of lasting peacefulness. it resonates in your bones and stabilizes your surroundings. you like routine and the familiarity of things. it brings you satisfaction to have a grounded life. you want to build something you're proud of and share the benefits with your loved ones. you are the glue of your friends and family and essential to the functioning of the group. others admire your responsibility and how they can rely on you for anything. you are amazing.

tagged by: @tricursed​

ok hi i’m extremely high but i’m thinking about d.ean and m.iracle. and how in finding m.iracle and becoming attached to him and taking care of him it fixed something in him from the hellhounds and the trauma they caused. like allowing himself to love this dog and not be afraid he was like healing. that was the first step in his healing process and becoming More.

@harvlle .

“alright, alright  --  ow,  fuck.”   the bandage being wrapped on his arm hurts like a son of a bitch.  the grip is tight on the bottle of whiskey in his hand,  a hard glance at her.   “jesus,  you’re rough for someone so tiny.”  he takes a sip from the bottle,  smirk slowly appearing.  “it’s fine,  barely a scratch.  you don’t have to go all super nurse on me.”  it wasn’t just a scratch and he knows that but it wasn’t the first time and won’t be the last. 

@fallsaved .

why did you do that?  he asked after all the monsters are dead and cas put their life on the line for him.  again.  but the answer only made him angry.  he doesn’t know why it did.  a confession like that should make his chest feel all warm and gooey,  right?   except it just has the complete opposite effect.  he doesn’t deserve that.  to be fought for,   for cas to put their life on the line for him because angel grace or not,  there’s still the possibility of losing them.  he can’t deal with that again.  he can’t.  the angel is covered in blood for him and all he wants to do is make himself bleed because of it.   “don’t.”  rough,  aimed to cut.  “just back off, cas.”  

@hellsaved​ :  “ we’re family. we don’t turn our backs on each other. “ 

family .   what a  strong  word that is .   blood would be the better term here .   yes ,  sam will do what he has to to keep him from dying ,  but the family schtick has been used enough .   it doesn’t mean anything to sam anymore and he couldn’t care less about it .   when he looks at his brother ,  all he sees is the man who raised him and maybe he  should  feel guilty about how things have turned out ,  but sam isn’t capable of that any longer .   in fact ,  any bit of guilt that may surface is quickly diminished by the ever-growing power in his veins .    ‘  we stopped being a family a long time ago ,  dean .   i dunno why you still won’t see that .   i’m not about to stop what i’m doing just to make you feel better .  ’    a pause ,  one long enough for him to breathe but not long enough for dean to respond .    ‘  i think it’s about time you realize that .  ’

take care of sammy.    take care of sammy,   take care of sammy.   it’s on repeat in his head,   over and over and over again.  he stares at the man in front of him and all he sees is the baby brother he was supposed to protect.  dean was supposed to stop this but he failed just like he fails everything.  swallowing the self loathing,  the guilt and the rage he shakes his head.  if he were smarter then he would throw in the towel.  if he were smarter than he would’ve turned his back ages ago.  if he were smarter this never would’ve happened.  but he wasn’t ever the smart one,  that was always sammy.  “c’mon,  you don’t really mean that huh? just bein’ a pain in my ass,  yeah?”   a pause.  he’s stubborn,  refuses to let go.  “sammy.”   it comes out like he’s begging and not hard and rough like intended.  great  --  now he’s begging,  begging for a man he knows is long gone.  he’s begging for the boy that he raised.    c’mon,  winchester,  fix this.  imagine if your old man saw this.  “you can snap back from this.  it doesn’t gotta be this way,  man.”