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jellyfishsprinkles

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i don’t think my mixtape is gonna ever happen but here’s something even better i put together

its midnight goodbye

vocals by @hellowobbuffet

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oldersistercore

why are dog lovers so hateful??? like you meet a cat lover and they’re like “oh i love dogs a lot too! i just prefer cats!” but dog lovers are always like “my ENTIRE FAMILY was MURDERED by a CAT, a cat STOLE MY GIRLFRIEND, BURNED MY HOUSE DOWN, TOOK MY JOB AND KEYED UP MY CAR"

ash-ofpallet

having memory issues like

friend: remember that time when you said/did this thing?

me: not at all, but that totally sounds like me

cleancrew

what the fuck is this bullshit

cleancrew

HES STILL THERE

cleancrew

THAT ONES NOT EVEN RED

curepimmy-deactivated20221111

This reminds me of the time I was having trouble drawing fists, like

No shit I mean like on a PERSON

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Me:

Parents:

Me:

Parents:

Me: *puts earbuds in*

Parents: iebdwibtifhd

Me: what

Parents: HDJEHDIFNE

Me: what

Me: *takes out earbuds*

Parents:

Me: *puts earbuds back in*

Parents: jekdelwnfoehdir

Me: what

burgrs1994-deactivated20151224

what if flies said “hey” every time they flew by your ear

ameriqan

JESUS CHRIST

75orchids

hey fucking idiot furries

you know animals arent real right

weloveshortvideos

I literally pissed my pants

kibbyanna

Promise, its not scary or a screamer, its really funny

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

itachismokesweed

hey guys quick question whats it like to have friends

slimetony

imagine having ants everywhere in your house

it’s nothing like that

itachismokesweed

can someone who actually has friends answer this?

buttscentedbreathmints

I work at Starbucks and yesterday night these two big Italian men come in and order some coffees so I ask for the first guys name and he says in his thick Italian accent that it’s Mario. I’m thinking ok that’s a pretty common name for a middle aged Italian dude. But then his friend orders an when I ask his name he says its Luigi

and I can’t help it

I giggle a little to which Luigi says to his friend Mario “I told you she’d get it” and that’s the story of how I got memed on by two middle aged Italian men on Christmas eve

citriccenobite-deactivated

my brother got me a card

basicallyalwaystired

help me bowl o’ rice help me bowl o’ rice help me down those stairs

12 year old me: Who are you

me: I'm you but gayer

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

threebigolsausages-deactivated2

bolto-deactivated20211002

bacteriaseas

This gets funnier every time I see it

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